lamont sanford. yes, lamont here, he's secretary- treasurer of our conglomerate, and chairman of my distributing chain, and vice emperor of our empire. oh, it's nice to meet the both of you. i pass your empire everyday on my way to work. ms. rhodes, please hold the calls. yeah, listen here, and hold mine too. now, what can i do for you? not a thing, it's what we can do for you, mr. magnesia. that's phillips. your business is to loan money, ain't it? i mean, is it not? uh, yes. well, i'm here to help you stay in business. we'll take $1,500, and now, where do i sign? see, we're thinking of an expansion program. yes, an expansion program. yeah, we want to take over an existing piece of property-- piece of property. and develop it to its full potential. we're full of potential. oh, that sounds very interesting. we knew you'd feel that way. now, where do i sign? oh, now wait a minute. it's a little more complicated than that. i'll need a little more information. ok, but let's speed it up, shall we? i mean

lamont. see, didn't i tell you? i knew what i was doin'. fred sanford. the king of hearts. [knock on door] come in. hi. i'm jackie. laverne's sister. uh, uh, jackie? laverne's sister? that's right. she said there's a fellow here who wants to swing. where is he? uh. swing? who? it must be some mistake. start talkin', woody. i--i... get-- uh, there's no mistake. your gypsy prince. no. come on. oh, he's cute. come on, cuddles. come on. help me here. help me, son. help me. save me. hey, i ain't got no money. oh, i got lots of cash, cuddles. you got a briefcase? where you keepin' it? in this piggy bank? ahh. yes. penin', cuddles? hey, look. aunt esther called, man. she said everything is fine at home with her and uncle woody. how was your date with jackie? uh, son, we went to a disaster movie. where? yeah. sound of music. pop, the sound of music is not a disaster movie. it is when you're walking down the aisle with jackie and she slipped on a milky way