i memorized james weldon johnson, paul laurence dunbar, countee cullen and langston hughes. i memorized shakespeare, whole plays, 50 sonnets. i memorized edgar allen poe, all the poetry -- never having heard it, i memorized it. i had longfellow, i had guy de maupassant, i had balzac, rudyard kipling. i mean, it was catholic kind of reading, and catholic kind of storing. when i decided to speak, i had a lot to say, and many ways in which to say what i had to say. i listened to the black minister, i listened to the melody of the preachers, and i could tell when they would start up on that kind of thing, when you know they mean to take our souls straight to heaven, or whether they meant to dash us straight to hell, i understood it. so out of this evil, which was a dire kind of evil -- because rape on the body of a young person, more often than not, introduces cynicism, and there is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic, because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. in my case i was saved in that muteness, you see. in the sordida, i was saved