[laughing] >> larry: that would of been horrible to say "larry, larry, larry" and i'm not larry. an exciting show. cage master jon stewart rapper battle deluxe. no actually lewis black is joining us tonight. [ applause ] >> larry: first off i made a joke earlier. i want to congratulate the chicago black hawks for winning the stanley cup. you did it. good job chicago. really, larry, brother into hockey. stop being racist, you guys. black people like hockey. we do. in fact here is someone who recently identified recently as a blackhawk fan. [ applause ] >> larry: not making that up. she is actually a whitehawk fan but -- alright. turning now to the top stories. man so many candidates are throwing their hats into the ring. the ring is saturated with hats. too many hats is what i'm saying here. the point is it's time to check in on the unblack ening. >> larry: oh, what's this. oh, a present. for me. let's see. too larry from the comedy gods. comedy gods. what, what could it be. why did they get me a gift they don't have to -- >> i ammo officially running for president of the united s

larry: okay.up your eyes. larry: let me ask you this, mike. does that mean you think trump can beat hillary? >> you mean suge knight? (laughter) larry, are you asking me if macklemore can beat suge knight? (laughter) larry, answer that yourself. >> larry: it's not really what i said. but i think the answer's no. >> there you go. larry: mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) t-mobile now extends your coverage beyond the borders at no extra charge. get 4g lte data in mexico and canada just like in the u.s. and call and text as much as you want to and from the united states, mexico, and canada. you heard right! unlimited calls to any phone - even mobile... in mexico and canada for free! it's included with simple choice plans. only t-mobile gives you coverage and calling in three countries for the price of one. switch today. ( groan ) i'm starving. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches

>> larry: okay. boom. larry: okay. first of all i don't think i've heard of a foreign policy quite like this. and it's really not our beach. >> really? (laughter) >> larry: what are you doing? two for flinching, buddy. larry: two for flinching? >> those are the rules. you flinch you get hit! chris christie taught me that. >> larry: all right, fine. but what about domestic issues, like healthcare? >> healthcare? please. we're talking about a guy who literally bullied his weight down. he was like, [ bleep ] you stomach! you know what i mean? he was like, stomach, be smaller. hey, doc, cut me open and put a rubber band around it." you know? and then strangle it. strangle my stomach. (laughter) now he's all like, "hey, stomach. here's a peanut. happy thanksgiving. you know what i mean? (laughter) no no, go to bed, you piece of [ bleep ]." >> larry: hold on. i'm pretty sure that's not how lap-band surgery works. >> that is literally exactly how it works. (laughter) >> larry: that is literally the wrong definition of "litera

it's-- . >> larry: okay.have we got. >> this is a hymnal for the presidential-- president obama last week at the charleston eulogy broke out in song, right? can we see that real quick. >> amazing grace ♪ ♪ how sweet ♪ ♪ the sound ♪ ♪. >> larry: okay, let me just say, i am so glad he did this because this proves what i my theory that his white side governed for the first six years. and now his black side is presidenting currently right? it is. >> yeah. >> larry: his black side is currently presidenting. was this obama's blackest moment? i mean if a white president just broke out like a preacher in a church and then started singing people would be going-- [bleep]. >> i think they would have sounded exactly like that i think that was his white part trying to brust through. >> larry: you think so. >> that was awful. >> larry: . >> larry: he sounded like a hineu trying to sing gospel come on, man what was that? >> larry: he's the president come on. >> that was-- that was a black moment. any time are you in a churc

larry: okay.pen up your eyes. larry: let me ask you this, mike. does that mean you think trump can beat hillary? >> you mean suge knight? (laughter) larry, are you asking me if macklemore can beat suge knight? (laughter) larry, answer that yourself. >> larry: it's not really what i said. but i think the answer's no. >> there you go. larry: mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) t-mobile now extends your coverage beyond the borders at no extra charge. get 4g lte data, unlimited calls and texts in mexico and canada just like in the u.s. that's coverage in three countries for the price of one. only from t-mobile. i am rich. most weekends, you'll find me on my mega-yacht, which i bought from a mattress chain mogul, who could no longer afford the monthly payments. yes, i am rich. that's why i drink the champagne of beers. attention america. get yourself a free half gallon of dole classic lemonade with any 10 piece meal or larger purchase. because when you buy this chicken ther

thank you very much. >> larry, larry larry! >> larry: thank you so much. thank you. i appreciate it. you're too kind. please we got a lot of show to get to. welcome to the show i'm larry wilmore man it's such an exciting show. bree newsome the woman who snatched that flag off that flag pole in south carolina here tonight. (cheers and applause) so ex sighted to have her. oh but right now this is very exciting too right now it's time to check in on the unblackening. (laughter) man, there are 14 candidates in the republican field. but only one is giving me joy right now. this guy. (laughter) was's the latest in the saga of the hugest most classiest, most elegant most luxurious kind of day ever. >> on monday nbc announced it will no longer air the miss usa or miss universe pageant partly owned by trump, following a similar step by univision which also dumped the event. >> larry: oh. univision. trump no es elegante. and to the surprise of move one trump reacted by suing univision for 500 million dollars. and apparently he had to this. >> people say wow he is really runnin

>> larry: yeah. getting in any trouble, where i -- >> larry: trouble? yeah. i accidentally only recorded the second half of the "bachelorette" the other night and my wife almost murdered me. >> i think he convinced himself that he hasn't done anything wrong. i was looking at parts of the deposition, just the fact that he describes all the the things he does with them beforehand. they do a lot of acing, almost like -- acting like hip roll exercises. and then he talks about them about what their goals are. there's this massaging course he gives them first. i think he honestly believes he offers them kind of pre-rape spiritual advancement course. (laughter) and he's sick. he's a lunatic. and i think he actually tells himself that. you know? >> larry: yeah. he really offers them a lot of council before he ruins their lives. >> larry: do you think he's sick or to you think he's convinced he did nothing wrong? >> i don't think 40 people say -- to do that this means that it has to be like a super routine. (

i am larry wilmore. tonight one of my favorite comedians and magicians, penn jillette joins us on the panel. that is going to be fun. so there has been big news over the past several days as president obama has been on a historic diplomatic mission through africa. >> overseas you are looking at pictures from moments ago in fire difficult, kenya where president obama has just landed. >> wait, kenya that's where the birthers say he was born. why did he got there? oh, i forgot. because obama doesn't care. oh, man. he never would have gone to kenya in the first term. he really doesn't give a (bleep) what people think right? and, and, and, by the way he told us this himself a couple of months ago. >> i am determined to make the most of every moment i have last. after the midterm elections my advisors asked me, mr. president, do you have a bucket list? and i said, well, i have something that rhymes with bucket list. >> i think he means (bleep) it list. i get you, mr. president. hey birthers, here is a mini-mic

after larry got the children off to school, prosecutors say larry wrapped judy's body in a blanket and it in the trunk of his car. as he left for work, he waved to the children at the bus stop, hoping they would be his alibi. then he went directly to work to keep his usual schedule. but after work, he stopped by the deserted camp and dumped his wife's body. the synthetic rayon fibers from larry's trunk liner were transferred to the blanket covering judy's body. and larry's shoes picked up the calcite particles from the newly paved limestone, where they were discovered 20 years later by alert forensic scientists. >> the prosecutors were able to put up a good faith effort and tell them this is everything we know using modern forensics about the evidence that we do have remaining to us. and we pulled out all the stops and here's what we know. >> prosecutor maier saved his most compelling witness for last. >> from the age of 5 until i was 14, larry was sexually molesting me. if i wanted to go do something, he would tell me i would have to do something for him first. >> melody was larry's s

>> absolutely, larry. earlier this year, a white person from texas paid $350,000 to kill an endangered black rhino. >> larry: wow really, that is terrible, why does it have to be a black rhino? >> that's what i am saying. that's what i am saying brother, i don't understand that. >> larry: exactly. >> if you can say one thing about rich white men they are always finding new ways to attack black stuff in africa people, oil, rhinos, they really want it all. >> larry: so what is your solution to this, mike? >> well, larry i am here at this new nonprofit i just started, it is called the help rich white people use their time and money wisely. >> larry: oh, wow. >> larry: that actually sounds pretty ambitious. so what is your objective. >> well, it is pretty self-explanatory, rich white people come to us and we offer them ideas for how to spend their time and money in ways that don't ruin the world for everyone else. and the best part of this is that all the donations will come from rich white people. >> larry: w

>> larry: i know, all right. >> where you at? >> larry: another santana, i know. what about the statistic, a 2013 study found 1780 fires occurred at a variety of churches in only four years, and only 16% involved arson. some of these buildings are expoald full of bad wiring. >> larry, again you're being naive upon you don't think there's a white man devious enough of joining the traditions union and filling black churches with faulty wiring. come on, man! come on! >> larry: it sound-- >> larry, white people have been fooling with electricity since benjamin franklin. >> that's true. that part of it is true. i can't make blanket statements. fistart making racial accusing as that aren't true, people might lose faith in me. what if my show got canceled? >> and you don't think there's something suspicious about that, larry? >> suspicious about what? >> you don't think there's a white man out there devious enough to work his way up to a television station in order to give you-- in order to give a brother a late night show so he can cancel it? ( cheers and applause ) wha

♪ >> larry: yes! give it up for the new york city gaymen's chorus! (cheers and applause) this is big gay monday to celebrate what happened friday. reporters were on the supreme court's steps waiting for their producers to bring them the gay marriage ruling. ah, but what network would have the story first? would it be america's news room, fox news? let's see. >> we have an opinion coming! we have the decision. we have the decision coming. it's coming! (cheers and applause) >> jason! jason! >> larry: jason! jason! where the (bleep) is jason! sorry fox news, maybe jason ran off to marry his longtime partner. (laughter) or maybe he's seeking asylum from fox news? who knows! all i know is that jason's not here! jason! jason! (laughter) anyway, the supreme court ruled 5-4 in favor of gay marriage. obama immediately got on the phone to congratulate the lead plaintiff in the decision, jim obergefell. >> all right. take care. >> thanks for the call mr. president. >> bye-bye. >> bye. the president says bye-bye.

it's like, "larry larry, larry." (laughter) man, i missed it. i had to go into starbucks and beg for that every day. (laughter) it was horrible. it was horrible. so many things happened over the break. there was the deal with the -- with the other thing and -- (laughter) right, right, right? and then the blah blah with the -- (laughter) yeah, right, with the you know, [ bleep ] that [ bleep ]. i haven't forgotten about you [ bleep ]. (laughter) i have not forgotten about you. (cheers and applause) i've been thinking about you the whole time! -of- let's get right to it. over the weekend, "the new york times" got ahold of the full 2005 cosby deposition from a case involving a few of the at least 48 women who have accused cosby. (imitating cosby) and it is full of things about the inappropriate, the blah blah, the bizzah bazzahs, the raping and the touching and the drinking, the baahhh! (laughter) >> why didn't you take the quaaludes, the lawyer asked him. he says i used them. he said, for what? cosby said, the same as you would, say, have a drink.

(laughter) >> larry: okay.onald trump calling mexicans rapists has really heated things up out west and near the border states. and the whole south is basically a giant racial cyclone. i know lots of people had been hoping that winds of change would sweep through that region and clear things up, but that just hasn't happened. >> larry: okay. gusty -- wait. is there something going on up in maine? >> maine is pretty stable, but that's only because there are no black people in maine at the moment. (laughter) >> larry: that makes sense. that makes sense. (laughter) >> you can see -- larry: uh-huh. clear skies at the moment. we've heard rumors that the wu-tang clan is performing in portland next month. (laughter) at which point a pressurized front could come from the south and blow and up cause trouble. (laughter) >> larry: absolutely. sounds right. i see right behind your butt -- yep, texas is on fire. what's going on there? >> well, larry, there's a fecal front swirling right outside of houston. (laughter) >> lar

larry: okay.pen up your eyes. larry: let me ask you this, mike. does that mean you think trump can beat hillary? >> you mean suge knight? (laughter) larry, are you asking me if macklemore can beat suge knight? (laughter) larry, answer that yourself. >> larry: it's not really what i said. but i think the answer's no. >> there you go. larry: mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) dave's been working on his game, and starting each day with a delicious bowl of heart healthy kellogg's raisin bran. how's your cereal? sweet! tastes like winning. how would you know what winning tastes like? invest in your heart health, with kellogg's raisin bran. no crying today... ♪ if you can't stand the heat, get off the test track. get the mercedes-benz you've been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedes-benz dealer. hurry, before this opportunity cools off. share your summer moments in your mercedes-benz with us. this is the story of a family who was constan

thank you. >> larry, larry larry! larry, larry larry! >> larry: welcome to the nightly show please please be seated. that's a great crowd. everybody tonight has a superhero. i am i meant a superpower that's right. we do our little inside jokes at the beginningment but i am larry-- we have a great show ed helms and rabber big k.r.i.t. join me on the panel tonight. (cheers and applause) but we've got a lot of important stuff to talk about. by now you have probably heard about yesterday's big news out of cincinnati. >> this white police officer has now been indicted for the murder of an unarmed black man. ray tensing the now fired university of cincinnati police officer has been indicted by an ohio grand jury on murder charges. >> larry: hold on one second. can you show me the way cnn introduced us to that murder victim. is that his mug shot? this guy was just killed by the other guy and you put their two mug shotsing to like they're a bank robbing team? i mean i get t he may have had a record but you know what victim means right cnn? well

(laughter). >> you said it, larry. put together that many minorities, cowboys, and permissive gun laws, and you can guarantee some atmospheric trouble. >> larry: got it. okay. okay. thanks gusty. (cheers and applause) now, look this is going to be tough, but we really do want to focus on texas -- specifically what's going on with the sandra bland incident. it's gotten so many people talking because so much of it really doesn't make sense. a woman was pulled over for a traffic stop, and a few days apparently commits suicide in a jail cell. there's still a lot to unpack in this story. i'll tell you what. let's just look at the dashcam video that was released. >> you okay? i'm waiting on you. this is your job. what you want me to do? >> i don't know. you seem very irritated. >> i am. i really am, because i feel like this is crap for what i'm getting a ticket for. i was getting out of your way. you were speeding and tailing me. so i move over. and you stop me. so, yeah, i am irritated, but that doesn't stop you from giving

and which one is larry? >> this would be me. >> gary and larry.re recorded interview obtained by cnn, larry hall recounts a tough start. >> i know when i was born, my mother told me that i was blue. that i hadn't got enough oxygen to me or something. >> identical twin sons growing up hard. in the hall home, there was little money and lots of problems. author hillel levin interviewed larry hall. >> it was a very cluttered household. they were raised with dysfunction. >> the neighbors say their mother was domineering. the father drank and sometimes turned violent. he worked at the local cemetery. what was it like growing up next to a cemetery? was it creepy? >> no, not at all, not for me. at 12 years of age, larry and i started working at the cemetery. >> as he grew older, larry had problems fitting in at school. >> he was always the backward twin. i was the more dominant outgoing twin. he hung out with what my wife and i and a lot of fellow classmates called "the misfits" or the "stinky" crowd. >> still, the boys were best friends and as young men,

larry's wife, shelly, worked with brad.helly coached the girls' high school basketball team and brad coached the boys'. investigators heard rumors that brad and shelly were having an affair. >> i don't believe so. we talked to reene and she didn't think there was an affair. we talked to shelly and she denied one. the only other person that could really say was missing. >> coincidentally, shelly and brad disappeared two days before brad disappeared. shelly said her alleged affair with brad was a figment of larry's imagination. >> i truly believed he thought we were having an affair. >> she actually pointed to larry as having done something to brad because of some of the domestic violence against her and the fact that he had accused her of having an affair with brad. >> a few weeks after brad's disappearance, a letter from brad arrived at police headquarters. he said he was alive and well and living in washington state. but after seeing the letter, police weren't too sure. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ it's time to bid farewell... to this booking