thank you very much. >> larry! larry! >> larry: you're too kind. thank you so much, guys. that is what i call a tuesday push. first things first, guys. first thing's first. i want to talk about the house committee on benghazi. remember them? this is the republican-led panel which was going to tell us exactly how secretary clinton mishandled the benghazi attack and misled the american people. now, this report is over 800 pages, so please, if you could just sum it up and give me your conclusions. >> i actually trust you to read the report for yourself and draw your own conclusion. you draw your own conclusion. ( laughter ) >> larry: no, trey gowdy! you draw my conclusions. that's the whole point of having a committee. we didn't spend two years and $7 million dollars of taxpayer money for me to think. ( laughter ) right? and now you want us to draw up our own conclusions? okay, fine, we at "the nightly show," we're going to read this report. and we're going to draw this conclusion for everybody. all right. ( cheers and applause ) we're going to do it. we're going to do it. an

i am larry, larry, larry, larry. you know what time it is -- let's see what's happening wh the unblackening. oh, sorry. by the way... on saturday, the "new york times" published something that really disturbed me. >> the presumptive republican nominee coming under fire amid new allegations of inappropriate behavior with women, dozens of women revealing to the "new york times" accounts of "unwelcomed romantic advances, unending commentary on the female form and unsettling workplace conduct." >> larry: really? trump's commenting on women's physiques? ever see this guy? he's shaped like a dishwasher. he's got a lot of nerve! trump was quick to speak out against the paper. >> reporter: a defensive trump lashing out on twitter, slamming the report as a lame hit piece, dishonest and a witch hunt ." (laughter) >> larry: a "witch hunt"? well, to be fair, donald trump knows a lot about sexest, outdated searches for women wearing pointy headwear. and trump's not the only one going after the piece. one of the women quoted by th

>> yes, larry.in charge, we are going to conduct internal investigations to ensure this never happens again. >> larry: well, that's good, but 14 officers were allegedly involved, so what exactly are you doing to root out this culture of abuse? >> that's a good question, larry. that's why i've got my officers watching porn all day. that's what they do. >> larry: wait. watching porn all day? >> it's a little controversial, but it works. that way, when they're out in the field, their guns will be loaded but their tanks will be empty, if you know what i mean. i'm talking about ejaculating. >> larry: yeah, i know what you mean. i know. i know exactly what you meant. and i don't know why you had to say that. how did you even get this job? >> we were just asking the same thing, larry. >> larry: wait, who are you? >> i'm the new, new police chief, officer johnson! that's right right. officer miller was caught just now with a group of teenage prostitutes, so he had to go. >> larry: wait, just now? you mean i

>> oh, larry! >> larry: you're drenched! >> the only -- >> yes? the only thing official is my left arm has gone numb, okay. i think i'm having a goddamn heart attack. will someone open a ( bleep ) window. >> larry: okay, i think you answered all my questions. carlos jordanson, everybody. carlos jordanson, everybody. open a window! sorry, just getting a quote on motorcycle insurance from progressive. yeah? yeah, they have safe rider discounts, and with total loss coverage, i get a new bike if mine's totaled. but how's their customer service? great. 24/7. just like here. meat loaf! [dings bell] just like here. anybody got a pack... that needs leadin'? serving all your motorcycle insurance needs. now, that's progressive. well this is my equation for success. i developed the 4 p's. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! heeyaw! heeyaw! ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. "angry birds" is the number one movie in america right now. but-- and this is completely true-- some people have some weird racist conspiracy theories about the

(bleep) that guy, larry! >> larry: you're right.the way, great job at the correspondents dinner. i loved it. >> larry: thanks, i guess. arry, it ain't just my boy idi who's creeped out by this creep. break it down for him, adolph. get out here! >> my boy! hold for applause! george zimmerman is a fat tub of rancid goat (bleep). reasonable people like us can agree on this, nein? >> larry: uh, i would say i would rather not agree with you on anything. >> look, i've done some bad stuff, and even some stuff you don't know about -- i invented crocs. >> yes, he did! >> larry: you invented crocs? i told you -- i'm evil. but i will not have the hitler name associated with george zimmerman! by the way, loved the correspondents dinner. >> larry: thanks, i guess. it was good. it was good. >> look, larry, we gotta go, evil doesn't rest-we have to get to work on overturning that tom brady suspension. >> everyone: go patriots! hell's team! (cheers and applause) >> larry: we'll be right back. ♪ the candy man can ♪ 'cause he mixes it with love and m

captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: welcome to the nightly show, i'm larry wilmore. thanks so much, please have a seat. first off big -- i love you too, by. i have to say big props to king james and the cavaliers, you guys. they did it. wow, what a game last night. i was stuck on a plane and i missed it and what an epic, historic comeback. now, i have to admit, i was rooting for the splash brothers. you know i had no choice-- the light skin brothers. so in honor of their valiant run, i gotta pour one out for curry and thompson. here you go. [laughter] a little splash for the splash brothers. not regular chocolate milk, but light skin-ded. a delightful creamy colored drink. you may be thinking at home, how come he doesn't have a milk mustache? oh i do, it's just a perfect match. light skin-ded: the milk that matches. okay let's go from light skin-ded to orange-skin-ded and see what's happening with the unblackening. this weekend, trump did what trump does best: he spewed nonsense out of his gaping face-chasm. in the wake of last week's mass shooting in orlando, trump

>> larry, that's very simple. you just have to get on the "take me off the list" list. >> larry: how do they do that? >> well right, now you can't do it, because there's a bit of a waiting list. but you can -- >> is there anything someone can do? can they at least call? >> no, we're actually unlisted. >> larry, of course, you are. okay. ( laughter ) you don't think there's anything wrong with this? i mean, you're not even worried about people's civil liberties. as a black man, i'm sure i'm probably on, like, seven lists. >> 13 ( coughs ). >> larry: what? >> listen, i gotta run. i'm sorry, i'm working at buzzfeed at night. i'm working on lists for them. 29 reasons my cat can't eat. so cool. >> larry: dirk mcdermond, everybody. everybody. we'll be right back. with booking.com's range rebel and key can wing it all the way to jordan and chelsea's wedding. rumble! road trip. there she is. uh oh, oh, oh, oh, what? so here is our road trip itinerary. what's this? a bunch of different places... nah, bro. we gotta go off-s

[laughter] >> larry: all right. settle down. then candidate trump says i'm going to take that money and throw a big campaign event. how about that big tacky, gaudy gold leaf home and trump said good i own that [bleep] hole. and business man trump charges candidate trump full price. so both trumps profit while america takes the loss. that's called the mar-a-lago shuffle. it's classic grift. and mar-a-lago isn't the only place he runs the script when you search his financial record forwards the word trump you find over a dozen self-titled companies getting money from the campaign. this political show game is so transparent is why i don't name any of my companies for myself. i don't. that's so obvious. no, i give them weird names like bizzflash strategies and exocorp corpultions and quizno's. that's right. you didn't know i owned quizno's but i do. the sandwich change didn't accidentally hitch its wagon to a child molester for 15 year. ooh. we going to get in trouble for that one. we didn't do it, right? we did not. we did not. ok.

nothing like a good larry, larry. i love you too. you love me more? what? the guy they're talking about larry wilmore. oh, arsenio hall joins us on the panel tonight, guys. [cheers and applause] >> larry: that's right. all the dogs love arsenio. ok. ok. last night they forced a filibuster that forced a vote that forced, well nothing but that didn't stop it from moving to the floor of congress. >> a showdown over gun control playing out. >> they're demonstrating with a sit-in on the floor of the house of representatives. >> larry: a good old fashioned, sit-in. that's what i'm talking about. i call that a total throwback thursday power move. and it beats the photo of me with bleached tips. you win, democrats. now the sit-in ended earlier today but you may be asking yourself what is a sit-in here with the history of sit-in is our very own holly walker. [cheers and applause] >> thanks, larry. the history of sitting is a fascinating tale dating all the way back to neolithic period. according to went something like this? >> me want to get closer to fire. what if

i'm larry wilmore. >> i love you! >> larry: love you, too. thank you very much.f course, we have to deal with the tragic events that occurred over the weekend in orlando. we have been thinking about it all day here, trying to figure out what to do and what to say in response to something so evil. all i can say is this -- our hearts are broken for you, orlando, and for the victims and their families, but we are with you, and tonight we're going to talk about it, in the hopes that we provide some laughs and play some small part in healing. when the news broke, the people of this nation were unified in a selfless outpouring of support for the victims and their families... well, it was selfless except for one person. cue the tweet from future-impeached president trump. >> (anchor reading trump tweet) appreciate the congrats for being right on radical islamic terrorism. i don't want congrats. i want toughness and vigilance. we must be smart! >> larry: yes, donald, you were really ahead of the curve on the whole "terrorism is bad" thing. i mean, honestliy, who brags ab

>> larry: no, grace.this seems like an entertainment story, but we wanted an in-depth report on asian factory work. >> grace: that's what i'm here for! to talk about abuse at sri lanka's most a-list sweatshop! (laughter) >> larry: so wait -- you think that beyonce could actually be running a sweatshop? >> grace: indeed, larry. and just like every sri lankan factory boss, queen bee is saying, "ladies... get in formation!" >> "nightly!" >> larry: grace. focus here. tell us exactly how a sri lankan factory like ivy park's might abuse employees. >> grace: well, everything happening in these factories is legal. but with $6 daily wages and tightly camped boarding houses, these factories reportedly mistreat workers... almost as much as jay-z mistreated his marital vows. (gulp) yikes! hoo-ha! >> larry: that doesn't really seem related to this particular issue... >> grace: sure, these factory workers may not have the good jobs, i just hope none of these beckies have the good hair. >> "nightly!" >> larry: ricola? t

i'm larry wilmore. this crowd wants to be thoroughly entertained tonight, you guys, thoroughly entertained. and we're going to do it. my buddy anthony anderson from black-ish is on the panel love that guy. now listen, i'm as sick of this presidential election as anyone. well, almost anyone. this is mary anne noland. anthis is her obituary that ran yesterday in the "richmond times dispat." this is true, okay. "faced with the prospect of voting for either donald trump or hillary clinton, mary anne noland of richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of god on sunday, may 15, 2016, at the age of 68." ( cheers and applause ) now that's keeping it 100. right there. man! oh, man. this election crap will be over in six months, everyone. there's light at the end of the tunnel. just keep moving towards the light. no, not that light! not that light! except for you, mary anne! move towards that light! yes, yes. as for the rest of us, it's time to check in with the unblackening. while the democrats spli

i'm larry wilmore. thank you so much. >> larry! larry! >> larry: thank you very much, appreciate it. author and expert malcolm gladwell is here tonight. ( applause ) and this has never been done before-- i am going to talk to him for 10,000 hours. i'm a gladwell geek. i'm proud of that. by the way, today is our second day back after a two-week hiatus. and when we're woo, guys, believe i it or not, news still happens. i don't know how that works out. there were a few stories that occurred last week that i want to address tonight, in a new segment we're calling... no, no, no, no, no. ( cheers and applause ) guys. we can't call it "last week tonight!" and why did you put john oliver on there, too. i just want to talk about some i just want to talk about some stuff that happened last week. that's a horrible title. okay, mandatory graphics meeting tonight. forget it, forget it! ( applause ) so let's start with lebron getting whacked in the nuts. okay, i know it sounds weird, but this is what happened. last week, game four of the n.b.a. finals,

larry, you said you read it! >> larry: i did.s just the terms and conditions for itunes. >> rory: larry, you actually read that? >> larry: read what? >> mike: (bleep) all y'all. >> larry: this has been another pointless episode of "pardon the integration." mike yard and roy, everybody! mike yard and roy, everybody! we'll be right ♪ snack patrol, saving the snack world. ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa... ma'am, we can smell the bland snack all over you. but, it's just a... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...yeah. yeah. new hershey and reese's snack mix, with chocolate, nuts and pretzels. it's snack justice. with chocolate, nuts and pretzels. ♪she could be my little frec♪me but miniaturer♪ ♪sleeping on the sofa ♪'till she tackles and i tickle her♪ ♪the whisperer ♪i could be your listener telling me your stories♪ ♪while i'm showing her her signature, the scribbler♪ ♪ i would like three two is standard. i'm not standard. three weeks. ok. (cheers and applause) ♪ >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "the nightly show" contrib

larry, you said you read it! >> larry: i did.rms and conditions for itunes. >> rory: larry, you actually read that? >> larry: read what? >> mike: (bleep) all y'all. >> larry: this has been another pointless episode of "pardon the integration." mike yard and roy, everybody! mike yard and roy, everybody! we'll be right ♪ mike yard and roy, everybody! we'll be right only t-mobile lets your family stream all the video and music you want from your favorite services- free-without using one bit of your lte data. plus, you can roll your unused data forward. and right now, get a free line for your family. when you get 3 lines for $40 bucks each, the fourth line is free. switch today. who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut. you can get a lot more for your money with applebee's two-for-20 deal. choose two entrees and an appetizer, all for just twenty bucks. 2 for 20 all day, every day, o

larry! larry! >> larry: welcome to "the nightly show." thank you so much. what a great crowd tonight. energy. i like that energy in our crowd tonight. ( cheers and applause ) even if you come to "the nightly show" alone you are keeping it 100. timothy simons from "veep" joins us on the panel tonight, you guys. very funny. oh, oh, here's news. yesterday, donald trump turned 70. or as bernie sanders calls it, the good ol' days. ( laughter ) but entering his 70s also makes trump history's oldest baby-- that is, since brad pitt played that elderly toddler getting into mischief with i think it was cookie lyon. but on day one of this new trump decade, obama had some harsh words for the 840-month-old birthday boy. >> the president responding in the most forceful way yet to what he's heard from his critics, especially the presumptive republican presidential nominee, donald trump. i haven't heard the president get this passionate on an issue, jim, in a long time. >> larry: hold up a second. wait. did anyone else notice the woman in the top left of that screen? wait.

desperate times, larry.e need someone who is strong enough to defeat the clinton machine. >> larry: so what kind of candidate are you looking for? >> well, we're looking for someone who can electrify the youth. >> larry: that's a good strategy. hillary doesn't poll as well with young people. >> exactly. believe me, i know. and maybe he's worked in politics a long time, but still feels like an outsider. >> larry: uhh, wait a minute. this sounds oddly like bernie sanders. >> never heard of him. you know what else we need? a catchy campaign slogan. you know, something like "feel the bern." i don't know, i'm just spitballing. >> larry: uhh, that was a pretty accurate spitball. that's bernie's campaign slogan. >> it is? boy, that guy sounds great. look, the r.n.c. needs a candidate who can change course from trump's hate speech. now is a time for unity, not racism, homophobia and religion bashing. also, universal healthcare like denmark's. >> larry: wait hold on, universal healthcare? are you sure you're not bern

>> good one, larry. the pope'll join the mile high club before that happens. ♪ ♪ it's here, but it's going by fast. the opportunity of the year is back: the mercedes-benz summer event. get to your dealer today for incredible once-a-season offers, and start firing up those grilles. lease the e350 for $499 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. a superior hard apple cider inspired by the cider the pioneers drank. and they traveled this country... ...on foot. smith & forge. hard cider the way it's 'sposed to taste. well this is my equation for success. i developed the 4 p's. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! heeyaw! heeyaw! >> larry: welcome back. welcome back. in many ways, social media is a brutally honest reflection of today's culture, for better or for worse. here to examine what social media got right and wrong this week is nightly show contributor franchesca ramsey with her segment "hash it out." franchesca. >> thanks larry. this past weekend kan

>> good one, larry. the pope'll join the mile high club before that happens. ♪ applebee's two-for-20 deal has two entrées and an app for just $20 bucks. so it's more like the you-can-even-afford-to-celebrate that-haircut-your-daughter-gave herself two-for-20 deal. two entrées and an app for just $20 bucks, only at applebee's ♪ only t-mobile lets your family stream all the video and music you want from your favorite services- free-without using one bit of your lte data. plus, you can roll your unused data forward. and right now, get a free line for your family. when you get 3 lines for $40 bucks each, the fourth line is free. switch today. for every 10 nights i stay, i get one free.s rewards program is simple. this however, will not be simple. you gotta ride the belt, captain obvious. i have liquids in my body! ♪ ♪ >> larry: welcome back. welcome back. in many ways, social media is a brutally honest reflection of today's culture, for better or for worse. here to examine what social media got right and wro

larry, you said you read it! >> larry: i did.st the terms and conditions for itunes. >> rory: larry, you actually read that? >> larry: read what? >> mike: (bleep) all y'all. >> larry: this has been another pointless episode of "pardon the integration." mike yard and roy, everybody! we'll be right ♪ schick xtreme3. 3 flexible blades... ...that adapt to any contour... ...for extreme comfort. schick xtreme3. try xtreme3 ultimate. more glide, better comfort. free your skin. who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut. some ask, why would you do this? she asks, why wouldn't you? whatever your mountain, climb on. the verwin number one:n event you get america's largest,e. most reliable, most consistently fast 4g lte network. win number two? we'll pay up to $650 when you switch and trade in your phone. and the third win? when you buy a sixteen-gigabyte iphone 6s on the best network... ...y

>> good one, larry. the pope'll join the mile high the pope'll join the mile high club before that happens. when our troops don't come back, someone has to help their families move forward. my family lost so much. it was a shock. it was a void. special operations warrior foundation was there for me. without special operations warrior foundation, i don't know how we would all afford to go to college. now through july 31st, a portion of each sale of specially marked cherry extra strength 5-hour energy® shots benefits the special operations warrior foundation. we hope you will join the fight. ♪ ♪and i'm bout to blow ♪hey jit all on chocolate♪ ♪ya i'm bout to blow it all on chocolate♪ ♪sweet tooth baby make that dollar stretch♪ ♪yo yo yo chocolate yo yo yo chocolate♪ at our house, we're always down for more... case in point: our handcrafted skydiving chamber. be hungry for more. just never be hungry. with premium pepperoni and 100% real cheese... ♪ ding! hot pockets! >> larry: welcome back. welcome back. in

marc spears will tell us next. >>> and it is all about larry as in larry o'brien, the nba's championship trophy. we'll learn more about larry coming up next. >>> and abc 7 warriors pregame show is just getting started so stay with us. >>> steve, after winning 73 games, will it be a failure if you do not win this final series? >> you guys can't get to make up that story so whatever you want to write is fine. i'm not going into that. >> reporter: steve kerr not taking the bait as we welcome you back to oracle arena, getting set for the warriors watch party heading into game six in cleveland against the cavaliers. want to thank our good friends at espn for this lovely set. it feels like a four seasons up here actually. i feel like i'm in a hotel. adonal, when we talk about three point shooting, you live by the three, die by the three. and the numbers from game five were horrible. the warriors were 4 of 19 on wide-open threes, wide open, uncontested, and 3 of 21 from downtown in the second half. steph was missing. klay was missing. everybody was missing. how do you correct that? >> well, i t

larry: they being the fed? erik: yes. larry: i do not agree that they should of titans. tightened. i do not believe the data is there. we have modest inflation. we have a weakening economy. they revise the first quarter from one to one to one. we have weakening corporate profits. you add that up and i actually believe that it was appropriate for them to policy. pause. erik: what happens to the other banks? mario draghi, of course governments have been unwilling to act as far. as you pointed out, we have elections coming up. action is going to be months if not many quarters away. larry: there has been best criticism of ecb policies and i think that criticism is going to update. i think the brexit and all the uncertainty will allow the ecb and mario draghi more freedom and flexibility if they need to be providing more stimulus. erik: sure, but we know now that -- look what happened in japan. it is not always deliver the desired outcome. larry: i'm under the view that negative interest rates produced negative outcomes. that should not be a surprise, especially in places lik

abc 7 news sports director larry biel is inside oracle right now. larry? >> reporter: fans want to get here earlier. the warriors want fans here early. with that part of the story we go inside oracle. i'm at courtside. laura anthony is in one of the corridors there with the warriors' message for fans. hi, laura. >> reporter: hi, larry. well, i'm actually in a bar. this is the draft kings inside on the arena inside the arena. they are giving fans here two reasons to come early. this is the first one. happy hour, $5 drinks margarita and draft beer. the second reason, john legend is singing the national anthem. it's really not home court advantage if the home fans aren't in their seats ready to go at tip-off. thanks to the early starts to home games last series there were actually some empty seats at oracle arena well into the first quarter. >> it's a product of where we live, right? it's not that easy to get around the bay area in a quick manner so we really hope that we he can take full advantage of that home court by having people there early. certainly in

>> larry: simple question. >> she's running for president! >> larry: simple question. when you see them together, does this picture work for hillary? >> first of all, i think it was a big mistake, larry, inviting people-- first of all, they told me a night show, i was thinking

. >> and i'm larry biel. we are live at oracle arena getting set for the big warriors watch party that will be behind me tonight. they're expecting 12,000 people in here to watch game three of the nba finals. of course you know it's a packed house in cleveland at quicken loans arena. we've got a live shot from the arena. as cavs fans are anxious, oh, so anxious and hoping beyond hope that lebron james can lead the cavs to victory tonight. we will preview game three come up. >> thank you, larry. >>> we have breaking news in alameda county. sky7 hd is live over east oakland where the tadrug task force is serving warrants. >> you can see officers outside a house at 84th and holly street. we're told the task force hassor arrested at least 15 people in the past two days, many of the suspects have connections to the sinaloa dlug cartel. we'll have more information on this operation at abc 7 news ats 11:00 and our news app. >>> meantime, an outrageous kidnapping in north oakland today may have uncovered a human traf