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Aug 18, 2016
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another larry deadline problem. -larry. -larry: yeah?nis: how many hours you really think it would take to get this done? larry: 6:00. -lemonis: four hours? -larry: yeah. lemonis: you realize that people are coming at 7:00? i have tons of people coming. it literally is the grand opening tonight. now you can't spell nutriam i right?t nut, i mean whose to say it's pronounced nu-triton, anyway? my mixes contain delicious nuts, specially blended for your optimal nut-rition. that's right, i just changed a word in the english dictionary, forever. planters. nutrition starts with nut. the search for relief often leads here.s, introducing drug-free aleve direct therapy. a high intensity tens device that uses technology once only in doctors' offices. for deep penetrating relief at the source. new aleve direct therapy. is 22 pages long. did you read every word? no, only lawyers do that. so when you got rear-ended and needed a tow, your insurance company told you to look at page five on your policy. did it say "great news. you're covered!" on page f
another larry deadline problem. -larry. -larry: yeah?nis: how many hours you really think it would take to get this done? larry: 6:00. -lemonis: four hours? -larry: yeah. lemonis: you realize that people are coming at 7:00? i have tons of people coming. it literally is the grand opening tonight. now you can't spell nutriam i right?t nut, i mean whose to say it's pronounced nu-triton, anyway? my mixes contain delicious nuts, specially blended for your optimal nut-rition. that's right, i just...
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Aug 15, 2016
08/16
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yes, i'm larry wilmore. thanks, i appreciate that. "larry! nobody else is saying it." i'm pharrell williams. by the way, miss u.s.a. deshauna barber, joins us on the panel tonight. u.s.a.! okay, tonight i want to dedicate this first act to talking about a subject that i don't think we pay enough attention to because of the craziness of our world. i'm talking about wildlife. now, it's upon us to be stewards of these creatures who have no-- i'm just kidding. we're talking about trump! ( cheers and applause ) come on, guys! it's trump! all right! roll the unblackening! ( laughter ) okay, funny story. a couple weeks ago, we were all saying "man, trump just criticized the family of a fallen soldier? what? there's no way he could do anything worse than this." he did. >> hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish the second amendment. if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. although, the second amendment people, maybe there is. i don't know." >> larry: yup, that's right. donald trump not so subtly hinting that gun rights activists should do something abo
yes, i'm larry wilmore. thanks, i appreciate that. "larry! nobody else is saying it." i'm pharrell williams. by the way, miss u.s.a. deshauna barber, joins us on the panel tonight. u.s.a.! okay, tonight i want to dedicate this first act to talking about a subject that i don't think we pay enough attention to because of the craziness of our world. i'm talking about wildlife. now, it's upon us to be stewards of these creatures who have no-- i'm just kidding. we're talking about trump! (...
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Aug 17, 2016
08/16
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i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan. to learn more about food deserts and how you can help, check thanks, dad. i'll pick you up in two hours. keep 'em high. thanks, bro. later, mom. thank you. have fun. thanks, dad. thanks, mr. smith. hurry in for toyota's annual clearance event, where you can find 0% apr financing for 60 months on the 2016 rav4. offer ends september 6th. for more great deals, visit toyota.com toyota. let's go places. hi. hey. you're that guy from verizon who switched to sprint. i used to ask if you could hear me now, but it's 2016 ...and sprint's network reliability is now within 1% of verizon. and sprint saves you 50% on most verizon, at&t and t-mobile rates. that's why millions have switched. make that millions plus one. can you hear that? don't let a 1% difference cost you twice as much. switch to sprint today. y. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "nightly show" contributor franchesca ramsey. ( cheers and applause ) and "nightly show" contributor holly
i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan. to learn more about food deserts and how you can help, check thanks, dad. i'll pick you up in two hours. keep 'em high. thanks, bro. later, mom. thank you. have fun. thanks, dad. thanks, mr. smith. hurry in for toyota's annual clearance event, where you can find 0% apr financing for 60 months on the 2016 rav4. offer ends september 6th. for more great deals, visit toyota.com toyota. let's go...
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Aug 17, 2016
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i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan. to learn more about food deserts and how you can help, check welcome. it's me! the extra crispy colonel. my extra crispy, twenty dollar fill-up feeds a family of four. it's crunchy! juicy! and oh so tasty. kfc. it's extra crispy good. every night is opening night. when you run your own restaurant, coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on. people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. gentle, non-habit forming advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. fthen they're sweet.. sour patch kids. sour. sweet. gone. it's gum! y. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "nightly show" contributor franchesca ramsey. ( cheers and applause ) and "nightly show" contributor holly walker. ( cheers and applause ) and actress, comedian, and producer for buzzfeed, quinta brunson. ( cheers and applause ) and for everyone at home, join our c
i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan. to learn more about food deserts and how you can help, check welcome. it's me! the extra crispy colonel. my extra crispy, twenty dollar fill-up feeds a family of four. it's crunchy! juicy! and oh so tasty. kfc. it's extra crispy good. every night is opening night. when you run your own restaurant, coors light. whatever your mountain, climb on. people spend less time lying awake with aches and...
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Aug 19, 2016
08/16
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thank you very much. >> larry, larry, larry! >> larry: thank you, i appreciate it. please have a seat. >> larry, larry. >> larry: thank you, welcome to the nightly show. you're very kind, you're very t. >> i wu v you. >> larry: and i wu v yoú as well. i'm larry wilmore, your host for the next, well, 29 minutes and 341-- 31 seconds. now let me vus say it's never easy when your television show gets canceled. but have i to say for me, there has been a silver lining, you guys. all the free booze. really. no, really. oh my gosh! oh my gosh, samantha bee's show sent over some cases of wine, right. and then stephen colbert sent over an amazing assortment of liquor, right. okay, all right, so earlier today i could barely contain my excitement when i received a word that a package had arrived if our friends at the daily show and then i opened it up. (laughter) seriously? pastries, guys? how am i going to get wasted eating a stupid almond croissant. i pass out eating these but-- now let me just say john oliver sent over this. (cheers and applause) that's how you do it, daily
thank you very much. >> larry, larry, larry! >> larry: thank you, i appreciate it. please have a seat. >> larry, larry. >> larry: thank you, welcome to the nightly show. you're very kind, you're very t. >> i wu v you. >> larry: and i wu v yoú as well. i'm larry wilmore, your host for the next, well, 29 minutes and 341-- 31 seconds. now let me vus say it's never easy when your television show gets canceled. but have i to say for me, there has been a silver...
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(audience chanting larry) thank you very much! so kind. i appreciate it. i'm larry wilmore.ll right. it's time for the democrats to give us their reason why they think that nice black family should leave the white house. (laughter) i know it. yup, it's time to see what's happening with the unblackening. ♪ (screaming) >> larry: it always scares me. it always does. now, this country rarely agrees on anything, but i think we can all agree that last week's r.n.c. was a cluster (bleep). in fact, the convention was so bad that d.n.c. chairwoman debbie wasserman schultz tweeted to r.n.c. chair reince priebus during the convention, "hey, reince -- i'm in cleveland if you need another chair to help keep your convention in order." ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. well, that may have been a premature burn. >> d.n.c. chairwoman debbie wasserman schultz forced to step down after wikileaks released a trove of embarrassing private e-mails by d.n.c. executives. >> larry: looks like the burn-er has become the... one who got fired apparently. run out of that joke analogy already. (laughter) so this alre
(audience chanting larry) thank you very much! so kind. i appreciate it. i'm larry wilmore.ll right. it's time for the democrats to give us their reason why they think that nice black family should leave the white house. (laughter) i know it. yup, it's time to see what's happening with the unblackening. ♪ (screaming) >> larry: it always scares me. it always does. now, this country rarely agrees on anything, but i think we can all agree that last week's r.n.c. was a cluster (bleep). in...
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Aug 10, 2016
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have a seat. >> larry! larry! >> larry: i appreciate how long the one brother took to sit down.no, i'm finishing." thanks, brother, i appreciate it. okay, all right. welcome to "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. so i have to bring this up before we start. at a hillary rally last night-- this is amazing there was an interesting person in the crowd. >> what's the father of the man responsible for the orlando massacre doing at a hillary clinton rally? >> there he is tonight in kissimmee, just 30 minutes from the pulse nightclub. >> clinton is good for united state versus donald trump. >> larry: oh, my god! he's with her? ( laughter ) i mean, i know this election has been weird, but this is just horrible optics. i mean, even lenscrafters is like "ouch." ( laughter ) in fact, i haven't seen optics this bad since l.b.j.'s inauguration when lee's dad, greg harvey oswald was standing behind him. ( cheers and applause ) no, greg, you were not "number one dad"! all right, we made a promise on this show not to forget about the people in flint, michigan, and their ongoing water crisis.
have a seat. >> larry! larry! >> larry: i appreciate how long the one brother took to sit down.no, i'm finishing." thanks, brother, i appreciate it. okay, all right. welcome to "the nightly show." i'm larry wilmore. so i have to bring this up before we start. at a hillary rally last night-- this is amazing there was an interesting person in the crowd. >> what's the father of the man responsible for the orlando massacre doing at a hillary clinton rally? >>...
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welcome to the nightly show. >> audience: larry! larry: thank you. they're so excited it's friday.ou ain't on, on fridays. i'm glad you came here. [laughing] >> larry: they -- no it's friday, man. we have a special. we have a musical performance from y-g tonight. [cheers and applause] >> larry: he has -- he is giving donald trump some feedback. [laughing] >> larry: on how his convention went. first, let's bring you up on the rnc last night and check in with the unblack ening. (screams) [cheers and applause] >> larry: so last night marked the end of the republican national convention. it's been quite a convention, you guys. from michelle obama's beautiful speech. [laughing] >> larry: to -- [cheers and applause] >> larry: to ben carson playing six degrees of lucifer. >> larry: to grander ma munster sew yack killer getting booed off the stage. the children of the orange stealing the spot light. they were awesome. a hell of a week. i mean that, it has been the week from hell. donald trump, your big night to make a case to the american people. what did you have to say. >> the american p
welcome to the nightly show. >> audience: larry! larry: thank you. they're so excited it's friday.ou ain't on, on fridays. i'm glad you came here. [laughing] >> larry: they -- no it's friday, man. we have a special. we have a musical performance from y-g tonight. [cheers and applause] >> larry: he has -- he is giving donald trump some feedback. [laughing] >> larry: on how his convention went. first, let's bring you up on the rnc last night and check in with the unblack...
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>> larry: november? what? just ask, when will donald trump win this election in an historic landslide? >> larry: i didn't just ask that! that's not even close to what i said! >> robin: i completely agree, larry! we're on the same page! what happened in benghazi was a tragedy, and hillary clinton still has not answered for it. >> larry: this is so frustrating! i never said that! let me try this: your candidate is such an enormously undisciplined (bleep) show, that you can't even engage in simple human back-and-forth communication because to do so would probably lead you to having to admit that there is absolutely no reason anyone should vote for donald trump. >> robin: 100%. i'm glad we see eye to eye on this, larry. >> larry: wait, you actually agree with me? >> robin: yes, just like you said, donald trump is the only candidate in this race who will make america great again! >> larry: i never said that! >> robin: january! >> larry: stop it! stephanie spencer, everyone! we'll be right back. you can't answer a q
>> larry: november? what? just ask, when will donald trump win this election in an historic landslide? >> larry: i didn't just ask that! that's not even close to what i said! >> robin: i completely agree, larry! we're on the same page! what happened in benghazi was a tragedy, and hillary clinton still has not answered for it. >> larry: this is so frustrating! i never said that! let me try this: your candidate is such an enormously undisciplined (bleep) show, that you...
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Aug 24, 2016
08/16
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another larry deadline problem. -larry. -larry: yeah? lemonis: how many hours you really think it would take to get this done? larry: 6:00. -lemonis: four hours? -larry: yeah. lemonis: you realize that people are coming at 7:00? i have tons of people coming. it literally is the grand opening tonight. with this level of engineering... it's a performance machine. with this degree of intelligence... it's a supercomputer. with this grade of protection... it's a fortress. and with this standard of luxury... it's an oasis. introducing the completely redesigned e-class. it's everything you need it to be... and more. lease the e300 for $549 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. if legalzoom has your back.s, over the last 10 years we've helped one million business owners get started. visit legalzoom today for the legal help you need to start and run your business. legalzoom. legal help is here. is i have tons of people the ccoming at 7:00. have it literally is the grand opening tonight. larry: i got it. i
another larry deadline problem. -larry. -larry: yeah? lemonis: how many hours you really think it would take to get this done? larry: 6:00. -lemonis: four hours? -larry: yeah. lemonis: you realize that people are coming at 7:00? i have tons of people coming. it literally is the grand opening tonight. with this level of engineering... it's a performance machine. with this degree of intelligence... it's a supercomputer. with this grade of protection... it's a fortress. and with this standard of...
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>> no, i wouldn't be. >> larry: be honest. would thae if one day they're waiting for you in the rose garden and it's a half an hour late and they cut to you in the west wing and you're like, "sorry, dudes." >> never, never, larry. and, look, the job of president is 24/7. so i don't want to be on the job impaired. i've made that pledge. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> larry: good, good. go ahead. >> well, tell the truth and you don't have to remember anything. >> larry: correct. don't make up a lot of ( bleep ) and nobody can follow it and all of a sudden, you're at the head of the republican ticket. ( cheers and applause ) who do you think-- who do you think is driving the energy for a third party more, donald trump or hillary clinton? >> i think it's equal. and keep in mind -- >> really, you think it's equal? >> oh, definitely, confidential. >> larry: really? >> the two most polarizing figures ever -- >> the way you said that. you like that, too. >> no, it's gotten to that point. i don't like it. i don't think any of us like it.
>> no, i wouldn't be. >> larry: be honest. would thae if one day they're waiting for you in the rose garden and it's a half an hour late and they cut to you in the west wing and you're like, "sorry, dudes." >> never, never, larry. and, look, the job of president is 24/7. so i don't want to be on the job impaired. i've made that pledge. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> larry: good, good. go ahead. >> well, tell the truth and you don't have to remember...
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i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan.more about food deserts and how you can help, check ♪ just when you think you know what a computer is. you see a keyboard that can just, get out of the way. and a screen you can touch. and even write on. when you see a computer that can do all that, it might just make you wonder... hey, what else can it do? ♪ tens of thousands of miles, taken years of hard work, and more energy than i knew i had. but that's ok. i'm looking far down the road... where many more hours, and miles and long days lay ahead. 'cause where i am today is just a start... compared to where i'm going. ♪ ♪ i'm comin' over payday presents: salty covered sweetness how can i help you? finally! i've been waiting forever. i've been waiting forever. to meet you! you sweet baby angel! you sound like heaven on earth, on a phone. you sound like love feels. salty on the outside. sweet on the inside. payday. bites! y. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "nightly show" contributor fr
i'm just going to get the one. >> larry: thank you, jordan. >> larry: thank you, jordan.more about food deserts and how you can help, check ♪ just when you think you know what a computer is. you see a keyboard that can just, get out of the way. and a screen you can touch. and even write on. when you see a computer that can do all that, it might just make you wonder... hey, what else can it do? ♪ tens of thousands of miles, taken years of hard work, and more energy than i knew i...
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(chanting larry, larry, larry) thank you very much. welcome to "the nightly show." thank you.ou're too kind. >> i love you! >> larry: i love you, too! i love all you guys! (cheering) i am larry wilmore. so, how was your day? mine? well, as many of you probably heard, this is our final week of "the nightly show." (booing) i know. four shows left, and i just want to thank comedy central for this rare opportunity -- and it really is a rare opportunity. (applause) thank you so much. and also the staff of this show for giving it their all for the past 20 months, and most of you will i want to thank our fans. let me just say, you guys have been unbelievable. we have the best fans in late night, i'm saying it right now. okay? (cheers and applause) it really is true. people come up and they never say, hey, nice show! they always say, thank you! it's such a cool thing. and hearing from you guys has been incredible. even you @wilmore-blows 666. (laughter) you brought such a unique voice to the dialogue. i appreciate that. (laughter) when we started this show, we wanted to have a convers
(chanting larry, larry, larry) thank you very much. welcome to "the nightly show." thank you.ou're too kind. >> i love you! >> larry: i love you, too! i love all you guys! (cheering) i am larry wilmore. so, how was your day? mine? well, as many of you probably heard, this is our final week of "the nightly show." (booing) i know. four shows left, and i just want to thank comedy central for this rare opportunity -- and it really is a rare opportunity. (applause)...
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larry: hillary?re drugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) announcer: live from philadelphia, america's first -- cream cheese. let's not get crazy. goldman sachs presents the hillary acceptance speech. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: thank you, so much, everybody. thank you, so much. welcome to the "daily show" i'm trevor noah coming to live from philadelphia. this is it, ladies and gentlemen. moments ago hillary clinton officially accepted the nomination as president of the united states. this is it. exciting. she made history as the first zayn person nominated for president this year. now we will get into the highlights of hillary's speech in a moment. one of the moving moments came earlier from the parents of a muslim army captain who gave
larry: hillary?re drugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) announcer: live from philadelphia, america's first -- cream cheese. let's not get crazy. goldman sachs presents the hillary acceptance speech. [cheers and applause] >>...
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larry: hillary?one more drugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) centrald >> trevor: from philadelphia, democracy, we did it! it's the 2016 democratic national convention. let's not get crazy! night four! can we please just vote now? (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: thank you! thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! what an exciting week! we have been covering the democratic national convention here in philadelphia! so much fun. everyone, thank you so much for having us. this is officially our last show here and we're ending the week with a great guest, new jersey senator cory booker is joining us, everybody! (cheers and applause) let's get straight into it. last night was officially the end of the democratic national convention, and
larry: hillary?one more drugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) centrald >> trevor: from philadelphia, democracy, we did it! it's the 2016 democratic national convention. let's not get crazy! night four! can we please just...
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is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. what's that? well this is my equation for success. i developed the 4 p's. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! heeyaw! heeyaw! i kindamango? carrot pineapple? kiwi? free sample? we wanna see if you know what's in it! ooh i like it! ooh it's nice. maybe some lemon? taste test? sure! let me show you what you're drinking. that's really good! it's good! haha wow! that's awesome! awesome! there's no added sugar. oh! what if i told you there's four different vegetables in there too? it's still good! try all of tropicana farmstand's 100% fruit and vegetable juices, including our newest blend "carrot pineapple mango". obviously healthy. surprisingly good. my name is jamir dixon and i'm a locafor pg&e.rk fieldman most people in the community recognize
is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. what's that? well this is my equation for success. i developed the 4 p's. politeness, patience, practice and... promotion! heeyaw! heeyaw! i kindamango? carrot pineapple? kiwi? free...
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none. >> larry: okay, angry common, calm down. really. (laughter). >> larry: all right. a little bit, a little bit, right, a little bit. okay. all right. that was a month ago. well, guess what, black yosemite sam, we-- we got some data. we got some research and it proves that what you are saying is nonsense. >> in baltimore in this scathing report from the department of justice about the baltimore city police department. officers routinely violated people, particularly african-american's civil rights. >> larry: there you have it, first ferguson, now another d o.j. report confirms racial bias in policing. for more let's turn to mike yard with the [bleep] news. hey, mike. (cheers and applause) so mike, the d o.j. has reported that the baltimore pd is riddled with racism. >> yeah, no [bleep], larry. >> larry: thank you, mike, for that in depth analysis. that is mike yard and the no [bleep] news, everybody. thank you very much. (applause) very short yet efficient news program. (laughter) all right, let's dig into the stats in this report because the proof is in the imeolice
none. >> larry: okay, angry common, calm down. really. (laughter). >> larry: all right. a little bit, a little bit, right, a little bit. okay. all right. that was a month ago. well, guess what, black yosemite sam, we-- we got some data. we got some research and it proves that what you are saying is nonsense. >> in baltimore in this scathing report from the department of justice about the baltimore city police department. officers routinely violated people, particularly...
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thank you. >> larry! larry! >> larry: thank you very much. thank you. >> larry! larry: please, everybody. thank you very much. thank you very much. >> very kind. welcome to the "nightly show." >> we love you. >> larry: i love you, too. i'm larry wilmore. and i'll be your host for at least the next two days. by the way, you do not want to miss next week's shows. guaranteed to resonate. anyhow... okay, okay so here's the deal, last night, i gotta admit, i got a little boozy off some good cable wine ( cheers and applause ) it's true. that was from our pauls over at team bee. that was so nice of them. i mean, i was so hungover, so i was thinking, tonight, i'm doing the show sober. i can't do that to my audience. until stephen colber stephen cor this. ( cheers and applause ) so, yeah, apparently, he robbed an airline or something. ( laughter ) raided some kind of a mini-bar or something. so let's just see. uh-huh. uh-huh. ( cheers and applause ) i ain't mad at him. mmm! that's some good network booze there. i'm already slurring my words, guys. ( laughter ) ( applause
thank you. >> larry! larry! >> larry: thank you very much. thank you. >> larry! larry: please, everybody. thank you very much. thank you very much. >> very kind. welcome to the "nightly show." >> we love you. >> larry: i love you, too. i'm larry wilmore. and i'll be your host for at least the next two days. by the way, you do not want to miss next week's shows. guaranteed to resonate. anyhow... okay, okay so here's the deal, last night, i gotta...
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is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.t's actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. looking sharp, len. who's the lucky lady? i'm going to the bank, to discuss a mortgage. ugh, see, you need a loan, you put on a suit, you go crawling to the bank. this is how i dress to get a mortgage. i just go to lendingtree. i calculate how much home i can afford. i get multiple offers to compare side by side. and the best part is... the banks come crawling to me. everything you need to get a better mortgage. clothing optional. lendingtree. when banks compete, you win. okay! ...awkward. the family favorite. yoplait. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexp
is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.t's actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. looking sharp, len. who's the lucky lady? i'm going to the bank, to discuss a mortgage. ugh, see, you need a loan, you put on a suit, you go crawling to the bank. this is how i...
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>> larry: i have a feeling this is going to be horrible. >> look, larry.a certain someone you-a know! >> larry: "larry wilmore says: god hates figures." >> -- god hates figs. no, luigi! i never said that. >> what? figs are-a no good! you said so! >> larry: blank sign. just go with a blank sign. and make a pizza! >> make-a pizza, no war? >> larry: good! go with that one! >> god bless. >> larry: god mess you, too luigi. (cheers and applause) >> larry: all right. moving on to an outrageous story you probably saw trending on twitter today. this unarmed black man with his hands up is charles kinsey. now, before i go any further, i want you to know that he's olive -- i mean, alive. damn you, luigi albanese! (laughter) but charles is a mental health worker, and after one of the patients from his group home wandered away, the police were called, and this is what happened when they arrived on the scene. >> reporter: you can hear kinsey, a counselor, advising his patient. >> kinsey: lay down on your stomach! >> reporter: the young man in his 20s sat cross-legged whi
>> larry: i have a feeling this is going to be horrible. >> look, larry.a certain someone you-a know! >> larry: "larry wilmore says: god hates figures." >> -- god hates figs. no, luigi! i never said that. >> what? figs are-a no good! you said so! >> larry: blank sign. just go with a blank sign. and make a pizza! >> make-a pizza, no war? >> larry: good! go with that one! >> god bless. >> larry: god mess you, too luigi. (cheers...
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is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.t's actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. heineken light lets you control people's minds. it doesn't do that. award-winning heineken light is the best light beer you've ever tasted. that's true... i made you say that. no you didn't. yes i did. mmm mmm... yes i did... you didn't. fthen they're sweet.. sour patch kids. sour. sweet. gone. it's gum! fortified.tored. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday? emerge and see. brewmaster. risktaker.. i sold everything i had to own a brewery. you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy to actually operate my business from everest.de and the surface pro 4 allows me i help clients achieve their dreams. being able to go
is all of that true. >> yes, larry. >> larry: i'm sorry.t's actually the most plausible thing you've ever said. wow, the nga. >> uh-huh. and what kinda intel does the nga collect? n.i.g.g.a. whaaat. >> larry: see, mike? you had me. and now you lost me. mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. heineken light lets you control people's minds. it doesn't do that. award-winning heineken light is the best light beer you've ever tasted. that's true... i made you say that. no...
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larry: hillary?rugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) : it's 19 seconds. this happened on nytimes.com! one of the last great mysteries facing our species is the human brain. it's an amazing organ that we have yet to fully comprehend, due to our stupid human brains. but that may be about to change! researchers at washington university have published a revolutionary new map of our noodlelying everyone's [beep] noodles out of their heads. here it comes, so hold on to your hypothalamus! it's crazy like a weird weather map or stained glass portrait of a fraggle is actually a map of 100 previously unknown regions of brain. this is the part of the brain for have ing. we don't know what this is. this is nearly a hundred previously unknown regions of t
larry: hillary?rugs. but who needs to do drugs? trump. >> larry: trump needs to do drugs? that's pretty good. ( cheers and applause ) he answered it pretty straight forward. i have to give him 100 for that. thanks for being here. governor gary johnson. thanks for watching. thanks, governor. ( cheers and applause ) : it's 19 seconds. this happened on nytimes.com! one of the last great mysteries facing our species is the human brain. it's an amazing organ that we have yet to fully...
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Aug 23, 2016
08/16
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back to you, larry. larry: d.c. mayor miral goldber picking a chief to fill the top position. once kathy lanier retires. peter newsham spent 27 years, the last 14 years as assistant chief and will take over as interim chief on the 17th. chief lanier announced she'll step down next month to take a job with the nfl based in new york. mayor bowser the highest caliber and a search is to begin soon. the police have made an arrest in anti-semitic graffiti. someone has written the word "jew" inside the rat inside the metro situation. swastikas have been found, also. police have not released details on the arrest. an american soldier is killed and another hurt after their patrol was struck by a roadside bomb and happened in afghanistan. six afghan soldiers were also hurt in the attack and the bombing comes a day after u.s. officials said they sent 100 troops to the city to fight the table. the name of those soldiers have not been released. it's official, russia will not competing in next month's paralympics. the court of sports upholding the ban after russia's state-backed doping prog
back to you, larry. larry: d.c. mayor miral goldber picking a chief to fill the top position. once kathy lanier retires. peter newsham spent 27 years, the last 14 years as assistant chief and will take over as interim chief on the 17th. chief lanier announced she'll step down next month to take a job with the nfl based in new york. mayor bowser the highest caliber and a search is to begin soon. the police have made an arrest in anti-semitic graffiti. someone has written the word "jew"...
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Aug 31, 2016
08/16
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larry ? larry: kids in maryland are waking up for the start of the school year, but will we say the same one year from now? governor larry hogan once schools to start after labor day to give families one more full week of summer. larry: the governor is expected to make the big announcement just hours from now. we want to know what you think of the idea. just tell us at wjla.com/votenow . sam sweeney is live in largo with more on this. sam? sam: larry, good morning. if you look at the bottom of your screen, it is pretty evident that a lot of the abc 7 have already voted and one school to start after labor day. just like larry state comptroller, they have been lobbying for this on the boardwalk to make this a rule. a looks like it may become reality. while we have no official confirmation from the governor's office of what the big announcement will be, we have been told this will be an announcement to make a statewide rule to make school start after labor day. the two will be in ocean city at 1
larry ? larry: kids in maryland are waking up for the start of the school year, but will we say the same one year from now? governor larry hogan once schools to start after labor day to give families one more full week of summer. larry: the governor is expected to make the big announcement just hours from now. we want to know what you think of the idea. just tell us at wjla.com/votenow . sam sweeney is live in largo with more on this. sam? sam: larry, good morning. if you look at the bottom of...
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Aug 23, 2016
08/16
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larry: thanks so much. right now it's back to school in prince george's county, we are taking the bus ride with you to class. larry: john gonzalez is live ceo. you are already getting a meeting with the superintendent? it's your first day of class. john: i went to the schools when i was a kid and i told them that i need a second chance, a do over. i got my lunchbox, my backpack, engines are revving and look who is joining us, dr. kevin maxwell, the ceo of the system ingest school maryland. 129,000 students? how do you get the mall to class them to learn? >> we been working on our plans for the opening of school all summer long. we are almost completely staffed, which is really great for us. the teachers have been doing lesson plans. the new teachers came back a week before everybody else. the teachers are ready and wanting to see the kids today. i think the kids are ready. we have seen some really bus drivers this morning. john: and you brought doughnuts, that's always good. >> doughnuts and coffee on top o
larry: thanks so much. right now it's back to school in prince george's county, we are taking the bus ride with you to class. larry: john gonzalez is live ceo. you are already getting a meeting with the superintendent? it's your first day of class. john: i went to the schools when i was a kid and i told them that i need a second chance, a do over. i got my lunchbox, my backpack, engines are revving and look who is joining us, dr. kevin maxwell, the ceo of the system ingest school maryland....
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Aug 30, 2016
08/16
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larry: i'm larry smith. let's get to sam sweeney live in northeast with the latest. sam? we are talking about the eastbound lanes of rhode island, east of the rhode island metro station. you can still see police on the scene. we are waiting for homicide investigators to arrive and start combing for clues. a man was shot around midnight in the stomach, rushed to the hospital, where he later died. police do not have much of a suspect description, but they are looking for a blue ford with tinted windows that fled from the scene, around midnight. if you had been in the area or had heard something, police want to hear from you. willarea of rhode island remain closed through the rush-hour. trafficight has the around the rest of the area. julie: will be a tough commute through northeast washington because of the closure point and the ongoing investigation. the outbound lanes remain closed outbound on rhode island avenue between 10th street and 12th street northeast. inbound, the lanes are open. no problem out of cheverly in northeast. this is a crash before kenilworth avenue. as
larry: i'm larry smith. let's get to sam sweeney live in northeast with the latest. sam? we are talking about the eastbound lanes of rhode island, east of the rhode island metro station. you can still see police on the scene. we are waiting for homicide investigators to arrive and start combing for clues. a man was shot around midnight in the stomach, rushed to the hospital, where he later died. police do not have much of a suspect description, but they are looking for a blue ford with tinted...
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Aug 26, 2016
08/16
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larry: exactly. send us your pictures to burst.com ♪ sleep number beds with sleepiq technology give you the knowledge to adjust for the best sleep ever. the time is now for the biggest sale of the year, where all beds are on sale! save 50% on the labor day limited edition bed. only at a sleep number store. veronica: this morning, a familiar sight in florida, people rushing to stock up before a possible tropical storm that could hit florida and the gulf coast over the weekend. the system has a 6% chance of developing into a named storm within the next few days, which would be tropical storm hermine. we've got the tropics, waking up. gaston in the central atlantic. this disturbance moving through the turks, the cake goes, the to the, moving westward gulf coast. in fact, looking out a lot of the guidance in what we call our spaghetti ensemble in the gulf of mexico, sometime in the for the middle part of next week. they will get the worst part of it late sunday, early monday, where they will be getting a
larry: exactly. send us your pictures to burst.com ♪ sleep number beds with sleepiq technology give you the knowledge to adjust for the best sleep ever. the time is now for the biggest sale of the year, where all beds are on sale! save 50% on the labor day limited edition bed. only at a sleep number store. veronica: this morning, a familiar sight in florida, people rushing to stock up before a possible tropical storm that could hit florida and the gulf coast over the weekend. the system has a...
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Aug 25, 2016
08/16
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larry, how are you doing in there? larry: doing great.ghbors called police on tuesday when they saw something aravaious at a home on place right off of route won. inside the home, police found bottle bombs. all of the devices were clear without any injuries. no word on who could be facing charges. autria: this next story, move over, paparazzi. youle of what happens when have a strong neighborhood watch program. according to the "faulty are times," two men were driving a drone over the home of resident robert depaul. duvall. jennifer youngman's surname. the drone destructed cows over the pastor. she picked up her gun and put two shells into that drone. their suv and took off. quierman told "the faulty times" you have got to respect someone else's property. leader kimth korea's jong-il and is calling a successful test of the ballistics mitchell. he says the u.s. mainland and its operation theater in the pacific are now with the north korea's striking range. he said they need to prevent hurting the dignity of north korea if it wants to preve
larry, how are you doing in there? larry: doing great.ghbors called police on tuesday when they saw something aravaious at a home on place right off of route won. inside the home, police found bottle bombs. all of the devices were clear without any injuries. no word on who could be facing charges. autria: this next story, move over, paparazzi. youle of what happens when have a strong neighborhood watch program. according to the "faulty are times," two men were driving a drone over the...
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Aug 17, 2016
08/16
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[laughter] larry: has the forecast? veronica: storms will start firing after the kids get off the bus. as you mentioned, from washington county to fauquier hit the mid-80's. a sticky start again, but dry out there in terms of not seeing any storms yet. here's a look at what it will feel like. 89 to 93, another oppressive day for us. 101, by theat midday hours look at the afternoon. the afternoon temperatures will start dropping. that's because the storms will start rolling in. today will be a high-impact day. late.orms will come in scattered for the afternoon. more widespread by the time we get to the evening hours. a few storms, julie, south of d.c. much rainlk about how we will get out of this and when the worst storms will come to the area in just a few minutes. things are d traveling in virginia. we had to crash on eastbound seven, the right side of the road a block. eastbound on the freeway as you approach the third street tunnel we have accident activity to report. delays.ly seeing the the impact it has over 395.
[laughter] larry: has the forecast? veronica: storms will start firing after the kids get off the bus. as you mentioned, from washington county to fauquier hit the mid-80's. a sticky start again, but dry out there in terms of not seeing any storms yet. here's a look at what it will feel like. 89 to 93, another oppressive day for us. 101, by theat midday hours look at the afternoon. the afternoon temperatures will start dropping. that's because the storms will start rolling in. today will be a...
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Aug 30, 2016
08/16
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paying respect to him and what he does. >> larry is we're always there for larry. for all the guys. everybody's got a great event for a great cause. and the more causes we can help in our community the better we are as a community. >> now i didn't bring the steaks back but i understand, chef larry's working it. he's working it. >> how so? i hear mark's stomach grumbling. >> i didn't go to dinner >> chef larry is busy. >> we're hungry we haven't eaten. what a great event. >> i can't imagine a better ambassador for a sport's franchise than larry fitzgerald. >> a community guy always doing things for community that loves him so much. guys we've got not too much weather to talk about locally. but we could see the storms chances on the increase. let's talk about today and the so back in the 100s after some nice 90s at the end of last week and the weekend. continue to see 100s stick around. tonight we have quiet conditions all across the state. so definitely a little break there in our monsoon action. tomorrow, though, seeing things crank up again for the white mountains thunderstorms the
paying respect to him and what he does. >> larry is we're always there for larry. for all the guys. everybody's got a great event for a great cause. and the more causes we can help in our community the better we are as a community. >> now i didn't bring the steaks back but i understand, chef larry's working it. he's working it. >> how so? i hear mark's stomach grumbling. >> i didn't go to dinner >> chef larry is busy. >> we're hungry we haven't eaten. what a...
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Aug 18, 2016
08/16
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larry: thanks so much.ancial aid is hundreds who lost their homes or businesses last month in the devastating flood in ellicott city. marilyn's public board move -- maryland's public board has approved funds. residents and business owners will get more time to work toward recovery. for the next four days, people affected by the floods can work on their property from dawn until dusk. after that, the entire area will be shut down for three weeks to allow for repairs to the infrastructure. autria: day three today for a search who went -- for a search for a swimmer who went swimming near the old angler inn and vanished. healing process continues this morning for the loved ones of christopher barry. dozens gathered last night for a candlelight vigil at his alma mater, woodrow wilson high barry died of a drug overdose. k2 and pcp and moments later collapsed in an apartment in southeast. investigators are trying to piece together exactly what happened. family members are waiting for the results of an autopsy. love
larry: thanks so much.ancial aid is hundreds who lost their homes or businesses last month in the devastating flood in ellicott city. marilyn's public board move -- maryland's public board has approved funds. residents and business owners will get more time to work toward recovery. for the next four days, people affected by the floods can work on their property from dawn until dusk. after that, the entire area will be shut down for three weeks to allow for repairs to the infrastructure. autria:...