fifty's latha sally field at the beginning of my transition i was totally convinced that i wanted to start with the major procedures at the you know to crack the cheney left so an. economic genitals breasts i wanted the gender reassignment surgery badly. i wanted the beard quickly i would shave a lot to get my ear to graduate and i was really stressed out and not in a healthy place mentally. i was trying to achieve a type of masculinity that i didn't even believe him and that i don't believe outward appearance makes you a man but i still felt i had to establish myself as a man. shaped almighty all of a sudden i looked like a man almost a man but i didn't feel like being a man i really enjoyed being a woman and i didn't feel like giving up being over my body you know and the other thing. is that it was a gift to myself when i said i won't give it up. was . and it will go i'm in my place this is to our i'm trans that's my gender so when people ask if i'm a man or a woman i say i'm trans i was a woman for 20 years and now i have a man's appearance but i'm somewhere in between that. the