all of a sudden, a leprechaun jumped up. we're back to the leprechaun theme. he said, top of the morning to you, lad. he says, you're a leprechaun. he says, yes, i am, and you have 3 wishes. three wishes? he says, yes. you have 3 wishes. i want to be a par golfer.. he says, no problem. from now on, par and under. he says, i want a porsche. he says, when you go home tonight, there will be a porsche in your garage. and he says, i want a million dollars. he says, done. when you go to the bank on monday, there will be a million dollars in your account. thank you very much, i have to find my ball. so he goes looking -- hold on a minute, lad. please hold on. i see you are golfing with your wife. do you mind if i go into the shrubbery with her for an hour or so? he says, let me ask her. it's a million dollars. so he goes up and asks the wife and she says, what? you don't mind if i go in the bushes with the leprechaun? he says, no, no, go ahead. it's a million dollars. she says, i don't care about the car but a million dollars that could help us a lot. so she goes int

one of a very large number of characters, is a jazz pianist and before he begins playing a black leprechaun appears to him, mr. mcginniss so you can assume it's the ghost of mr. mcginniss. as margaret said, in 1949 we came to the south bronx, which was an irish neighborhood, mostly. i was sort of a spaced-out kid, destined obviously to be

yesterday you may not have heard about it we were attacked by feral leprechauns.o, every august? what are you going to do? i spent the whole vacation just kind of huddled in a celt we are condensed milk and a bowl of fruity pebbles and just... (cheers and applause) because when you're done with the fruity pebbles you can just use them... (laughter). ... to fill sandbags. because that (bleep), to be honest with you. impervious to moisture. (laughter) made of real colored styrofoam. (laughter) but we are back. (cheers and applause) where did we... let me e ask you a question. where did we leave off? where did we... >> the american people are asking the question whereby the jobs? >> we should be focused on jobs. >> where is the most important issue we face, expanding the economy and creating jobs. >> where ijobs. >> jon: i am so concerned about jobs that i left my job to run for office to create jobs for other... (laughter). i don't know why i did that! now, someone else can take my old job, i'm going to take some other guy's job and that guy can go (bleep) himself.

loggerheads, battles, conflict, government shutdown, escalation of rhetoric, race war, ferrell leprechauns roaming the streets. we're doomed! >> wednesday seemed to be the best option, when that wasn't available... when that seemed to be a problem, thursday was fine with us. (laughter) >> jon: well, there you have it. the president offered a date, the republicans said "could you move that a day?" and the president said "all right." (laughter) noncrisis averted. it's the first installment of what i hope will be many in our new segment "tales of reasonable accommodation." i tell you, it's nice to see that every now and again. people in washington work together to solve a minor... >> the one day controversy known as speech-gate. >> where is speech-gate. >> where is debate-gate. >> where is how can our political leaders do big things like reduce the debt or fix the economy if they butt heads over a scheduling speech. >> jon: are you (bleep)ing insane? (laughter) "how can americans trust their political leaders not to sneak into their houses and kill them in their sleep when it took them 24 who

. >> has anyone ever told you kind of sound like a leprechaun a little bit. >> reporter: and some tearsan alleged wardrobe malfunction during the quick-step. grace took to twitter, denying the charge. saying she wears, quote, an industrial-strength bra. and going on "access hollywood" to set the record straight. >> when i did that backwards thing, i think there was a seismic shift. but i do not think there was a wardrobe malfunction. >> reporter: but no matter what she is or is not wearing -- ♪ >> dancing the cha cha cha. >> reporter: nancy grace is proving she can bring it in the courtroom and the ballroom. >> i'm not the youngest or the prettiest or the skinniest in this bunch. but i would say i have the most heart. >>> let's bring in twinkle toes herself. our good friend, nancy grace, and her dancing partner, tristan macmanus. it has been so much fun, these past two weeks, watching you both on the dance floor. let's get something out of the way so we can talk about your dancing. i'm going to use some legal jargon. we heard you say to "access hollywood" you didn't believe it was a war