letterman had me, i went on letterman's show and david letterman's show if you don't know who that isre is a guy explaining things you don't have to. sometimes that's okay. just not too much. here is the deal let's get back on track. i've been lost for a while. i know that story. i went on letterman and went on with my zipper down, he said, is your zipper down, here is a top ten things you shouldn't do on letterman, paul, awkward, dave. hey. hey. >> donald trump. >> the most luxurious, the incredible, in the history of the world. [applause] >> i actually talked to, talked to him on the phone. you can't spice trump. no surprising trump. he knows what's coming. >> i surprised him on a radio show so i thought and started doing this you're incredible human being, this is your conscience talking and even your conscience calls you mr. trump. that must be frank, frank, how you doing. >> mike: we talked about the sports figures moving into politics, what if a politician moved to sports, what would al gore say if he were the starting center of the new york knicks basketball? >> don't shot that

and looks like david letterman and looks like david letterman was short onnnnnnnn welcome to progressive. how may i help you? i'm looking for a deal on car insurance. i think i might have a coupon in here. there's an easier way. we've got the "name your price" option. you do? follow me. you tell us how much you want to pay, and we'll build you a policy that fits your budget. and i still get great coverage? uh-huh. go ahead. you're the boss. i'm the boss of savings. more like the c.e.o. oh, oh. no glass ceiling. the freedom to name your price. now, that's progressive. call or click today. sean: tonight on "hannity's america," after weeks of accusing town hall attendees of being an astroturf movement, democrats are now planning to do a little bit of organizing themselves. this week the democratic national committee is hosting 1,000 rallies in cities all across the country to promote government-run government and get this -- politico.com reports that a special interest group known as health care for america now will be helping to promote these phony town hall events. nancy pelosi, does that

i had done 25 or 30 letterman shows. these college kids were fans. i get on stage and i started the act. i hear these guys laughing. my mother turns red and goes shh. mom, you do not shh people attic comedy show. she had been singled out a car -- at a comedy show. she had been singled out at carnegie hall. let me stay home one day. she said okay. my mom was going out of town. whenever you do, and do not go near the high school. being an idiot, i had to go up to the high school -- high- school at lunchtime. by bernd robert just as the vice principal concept and he sees me. -- burned rubber just as the vice principal comes out and sees me. he called tom and she says that i'm sick. my mother is standing behind the door with a big pot. it she goes bong and knocks me out with this pot. ow i am out cold. we have to go to the high school and the principle is yelling at me. you are suspended for three days. you, a mother who would lie. my mother got -- never got out of the second grade. she had great respect for education. it was a funny place to grow up. >>

now and letterman have been great. went on letterman's show and the david letterman show if you don't know who that is, and here's a guy explaining things you don't have two, sometimes that's okay. just not too much. here's the deal lets get back on track. i've been lost for a while. i know that story. i went on letterman i went out of my super.he said are you -- is your zipper down? hee hee. but here's the ten top things you should do on letterman. >> mike: donald trump. >> the most luxurious human being in the history of the world. [ applause ] symantec documented bug. you can surprise top. he knows exactly what's coming. my surprise when radio show or so i thought and i started doing this genuine incredible human being, this is your conscience talking and even her conscience caused mr. top he said that must be frank. frank, how you doing. >> we talked about sports figures of into politics. with a politician of the sports what would al gore say if he was the starting center of the new york knicks? smack don't shoot t

sean: david letterman is at it again. >> and here's what's on the reading list. sean: is the president planning to actually read the health care bill? all that plus governor tim pawlenty, and more. hannity starts right here right now. the president may ab way but the health care debate. continues to rage in his absence. our -- we go live to reston, virginia, where congressman howard dean is holding a meeting. >> if 2001 was the summer of sharks, this one is the summer of town hall meetings and this one is no less contentious than any others. perhaps because howard dean turned out with congressman jim moran. there are about 3,000 people here and they're not standing altogether. here's a little bit of what happened outside this event. take a look. >> well, what we can have is a system that's not decided by the government but by the free market. >> work toward being part of the solution instead of just saying no to anything the >> how do you know -- of course that's what i'm working for. he asked me a question. can i fish it? >> hang on a second, fellow. you've talk

she just went on active a david letterman -- when on "david letterman -- went on "david letterman."nd reader, visionary ? no, i have them. huh. the new lightweight hp mini netbook with windows and america's largest and most-reliable 3g network built in. only 199.99 with mobile broadband plans from 39.99 i am-- speechless, envious. wanna be me right now. getting one. finally, good news for people with type 2 diabetes or at risk for diabetes. introducing new nutrisystem d, the clinically tested program for losing weight and reducing blood sugar. hi i'm mike, and i lost 100 pounds on nutrisystem d when i was first diagnosed with diabetes, that first step was more like a giant leap. till i discovered nutrisystem d. in a clinical study people on nutrisystem d lost 16 times more weight and reduced their blood sugar 5 times more than those on a hospital-directed plan. plus a1c was reduced .9%. choose from over 140 menu options, there is no counting carbs, calories or points. i lost 100 lbs. and lowered my blood sugar level. nutrisystem d changed my life. mike is one of many who have lost w

i went on the letterman show, david letterman, show. here is a guy explain things you don't have to. sometimes that's okay. >> too much. >> here is the deal. let's get back on track. i have been lost for awhile. i know that story. i went on letterman with my zipper down and he is like is your zipper down. i was like here is the top ten things you shouldn't do on letterman. awkward, dave. >> donald trump. >> the most luxurious, human being in the history of the world. >> i talked to him on the phone. you can't surprise trump. there is no surprising trump. he knows exactly what is coming. i would surprise him on a radio show or so i thought. this is an incredible human being, this is your conscious talking and even your conscience calls you mr. trump and he goes that must be frank, frank, how are you doing. >> what would al gore say if he were the starting center of the new york knicks? >> don't shoot that basketball too high, it might bring down acid rain. the environment must be saved. i understand the environmental argument and all tha

i went on the letterman show, david letterman, show.ay. >> too much. >> here is the deal. let's get back on track. i have been lost for awhile. i know that story. i went on letterman with my zipper down and he is like is your zipper down. i was like here is the top ten things you shouldn't do on letterman. awkward, dave. >> donald trump. >> the most luxurious, human being in the history of the world. >> i talked to him on the phone. you can't surprise trump. there is no surprising trump. he knows exactly what is coming. i would surprise him on a radio show or so i thought. this is an incredible human being, this is your conscious talking and even your conscience calls you mr. trump and he goes that must be frank, frank, how are you doing. >> what would al gore say if he were the starting center of the new york knicks? >> don't shoot that basketball too high, it might bring down acid rain. the environment must be saved. i understand the environmental argument and all that kind of stuff. sometimes he seems like a bad ball dracula. because

she just went on active a david letterman -- when on "david letterman -- when on "david fresh shieldk out air and lock in freshness. because when produce goes bad it's like throwing away money. save more food, save more money... with ziploc containers. s.c. johnson. a family company. that's a-- tiny netbook. yeah, it's-- good-looking, lightweight. generally awesome. and you could just-- go online, video-chat with my cousin. this is un-- under $200. are you some kind of-- mind reader, visionary ? no, i have them. huh. the new lightweight hp mini netbook with windows and america's largest and most-reliable 3g network built in. only 199.99 with mobile broadband plans from 39.99 i am-- speechless, envious. wanna be me right now. getting one. greta: well, wait until you hear this. it is on facebook. 18 people on facebook are calling for a boycott of the nationwide grocery store chain all foods. the ceo says we do need health care reform but is not as liberal as some of his clientele. the host of a show of the fox business network joins us. tell us what is going on with facebook. >> the ir

david letterman may have just met his match. a "vogue" editor went to his show, and meryl streep's character was based on her in a movie. >> i am and elian, fleeing from district 9. a dominatrix -- i am an alian. -- alien. >> that movie, "doevil wears prada." >> well, i remember that movie was fiction, and we really like fiction active a vote -- at "vogue." >> i tried to give very clear direction. unfortunately, they do not hear the answer that they would like to hear. >> have you ever put anybody in a headlock prov? [laughter] >> maybe you. >> i was impressed that before it went to press, it was still undecided, that there were still re-shoots going on. is that typical? >> absolutely, like a television show. you guys did not even call me until friday. [laughter] greta: did dave just get a smackdown? we report, you decide. we will see you tomorrow night. do not forget,

how is his good pal david letterman doing? is kelly ripa trying to drive rege off their show using a twitter? >> this is going to become a distraction to the show. i can't wait. >> larry: it's all next on "larry king live." good evening, michael vick is on probation after serving 18 months in jail. he pled guilty to being part of a dogfighting operation. vick and his partners executed dogs by various methods including electry cushion, hanging and drowning and slamming one dog's body to the ground. when police raided vick's property they found 66 dogs and exhumed the bodies of eight more. he's a member of the philadelphia eagles, conditional pending the decisions of the commissioner of football, commissioner roger good dell. he will be allowed to play in two exhibition games and could be activated by early as the fit or sixth game. our panel in washington, james brown. he interviewed michael yesterday on "60 minutes." host of cbs' the nfl today. his book comes out next month. also in washington, john goodwin, president of human

and he was taken to task by letterman for snarky attitude.umentary coming out called "the september issue," which is about the biggest issue in vogue's history. >> it's all about how it is put together? >> yes. >> i'm going to get that one. >> i think david letterman's hot. don't judge me. stop. >> i know you think jessica biel is hot. did you know she's also dangerous? >> i didn't. >> you know that security company macaffe? they do an annual list of who is the most dangerous celebrity online. she tops the list after her beyonce, jennifer aniston, tom brady and jessica simpson. so don't search for them. search for us. >> here are some stories to watch today on abc news: >> here are some stories to watch today on abc news: ben bernanke is nominated by president obama for another term as federal reserve chairman later today. he must win senate approval, which is not expected to be an issue. >> new federal deficit projections for the next decade are released by the white house and congress. a $2 trillion increase to $9 trillion is anticipated. >

david letterman offered his take on favre's return.etterman ofe on favre's return. >> going to be a pretty good deal for the vikings. he's getting $12 million for minnesota. my god, talk about cash for clunkers. >>> this is a cbs special report. brett favre has unretired to sign with the minnesota vikings. >> letterman has proved to me favre will break down this year. who knows, he could prove us wrong. >> all right. thanks. >>> people in india are getting the keys to the tata nano. it's the cheapest car in the industry. what's it mean for the industry? clark howard breaks it down. >> the nano car, the world's cheapest automobile, is now in people's driveways in india. this car that you can buy in india for $2500, that's right, a full four-door car seats four people you like, a fifth you don't, is now available and selling like crazy. and you may wonder, why am i telling you about a car that's only available in india? well, big news. this car just passed the european union's safety and crash test which are somewhat similar to ours, and

britney spears dlelivering letterman's top ten.althwatch" sponsored by walmart. save money, live better, walmart. (miley cyrus) miley cyrus & max azria ♪ now create your own look with my new line miley cyrus & max azria only at walmart. save money. live better. walmart. kids who don't eat breakfast aren't getting the nutrition they need to keep their bodies strong. ( bell rings ) a nutritious start to the day is essential. that's why carnation instant breakfast essentials supplies all the nutrients of a complete breakfast. so kids get the protein and calcium they need to help build strong muscles and healthy bones. carnation instant breakfast essentials. good nutrition from the start. and people love hanes socks. (laughing) oh yeah! crash keep your family comfortable with better fitting socks at an unbeatable price. save money. live better. walmart. ♪ >> good dancing. >> i have it on my ipod. >> pop princess britney spears is back and buff. she went on the letterman show last night clad in only a bikini and explained the top ten wa

. >>> letterman is next. thanks for watching the n

i'm sorry, squeaky. >> david letterman, everybody. and that is the mash-up. >>> tonight's big question, did members of the bush administration try to use the terror alert system to help win the election? former head of homeland security says that is one of the reasons says that is one of the reasons he quit his job. >>> stunning new revelations coming out tonight from the man chosen to help protect our country in the aftermath of september 11th. former homeland security secretary tom ridge now says he was pressured to raise the nation's terror alert level to orange on the eve of the 2004 presidential election. ridge claims he fought off the suggestion and wondered whether it was all about security or politics. that bombshell in ridge's new book, which hits book shelves in just a matter of days now. right now, cnn national security contributor fran townsend who was president bush's adviser. along with republican consultant alex constellos, cnn political contributor, james carville. and in new york, cnn political analyst roland martin.

>> maybe you -- >> david letterman and anna wintour, everybody. that is the mash-up. >>> tonight's big question, is the government really ready for a swine flu outbreak? you've heard the warnings now, 90,000 americans could be dead by the end of the season, that's what we're telling -- they're telling us. we're getting the facts to find out what you really need to know to protect your family. you're the colon lady! diarrhea, constipation, gas, bloating. that's me! can i tell you what a difference phillips' colon health has made? it's the probiotics. the good bacteria. that gets your colon back in balance. i'm good to go! phillips' colon health. maybe this is one of the most important. introducing new centrum ultra men's. a complete multivitamin for men. it has antioxidants and vitamin d... to support your prostate and colon. new centrum ultra men's. >>> tonight, first big question, is america ready for swine flu? a presidential panel reports that 90,000 people in this country could die of the flu, as many as 300,000 may end up sick enough to end u

. >> wonder if they're going to >>> letterman is next with mike meyers. >> thanks for watching eyewitness news on wjz 13, maryland's news station. we hope you have a good night.

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. >> you wonder how long that's >>> letterman is next with director quentin tarantino. i'm vic carter. >> i'm denise koch. thanks for watching wjz 13, maryland's news station. hope you have a good night.

. >>> letterman is next with paul mccartney. that's it. good night. we'll see you tomorrow.

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letterman up next. we will see you.ons by: caption colorado, llc 800-775-7838 email: comments@captioncolorado.com air life denver took to the air... their night-vision goggles keeping them safe on a perilous flight... and powering those precision goggles--- is the only battery air life trusts: duracell. trusted everywhere. look for new duracell ultra advanced now with even more power to protect. we're shopping for car insurance, and our friends said we should start here. good friends -- we compare our progressive direct rates, apples to apples, against other top companies, to help you get the best price. how do you do that? with a touch of this button. can i try that? [ chuckles ] wow! good luck getting your remote back. it's all right -- i love this channel. shopping less and saving more. now, that's progressive. thing's busted. downloads okay but the uploads take forever. uh, actually that's not your computer. that's cable. with fios uploading is as easy as downloading. it's fast both ways. (sighing) you can just leav

and letterman is up next. good night. captions by: caption colorado, llc 800-775-7838 email: comments@captioncolorado.com /p hey i'm worried about mrs. lowenberg next door. why? i don't know she's wandering around the lobby, yammering about fios tv, internet and phone all for $79.99 a month. she seems crazy. actually, fios customers get that price for six months. it's like getting three services for the price of two. so am i the one that's crazy? no? (announcer) get fios tv, internet and phone for just $79.99 a month, plus a free dvr for 3 months. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v with her son off to college, liz turned to target for great deals. like a twenty dollar comforter for his bed. a fridge for healthy snacks a reading lamp to study by and a cell phone to call home. so liz chose target showing off her college smarts about savings target. expect more. pay less. ( music throughout ) hey bets, can i borrow a quarter? sure, still not dry? i'm trying to shrink them. i lost we

letterman is up next with paula abdul.hey will be asking her all about the idol thing. >> that thing. good night. captions by: caption colorado, llc 800-775-7838 email: comments@captioncolorado.com oh, hi! welcome back to progressive.com! how's that car insurance? great! just bought a house... and you just heard progressive offers homeowner's insurance. yeah! i also heard i could save a bundle -- because progressive already insures your car. yeah, and i like -- one-stop shopping! right. i know! anything else i should know? yes -- make sure you stay away from shag carpeting. getting your auto and home insurance caic oclr k today. with her son off to college, liz turned to target for great deals. like a twenty dollar comforter for his bed. a fridge for healthy snacks a reading lamp to study by and a cell phone to call home. so liz chose target showing off her college smarts about savings target. expect more. pay less.

letterman is up next. paul mccart any is on the late know -- mccartney is on. have a good one.nnouncer) tired of nighttime breathing problems? (sniffy/congested noises) ("whish, whish") here's the solution. (applause) is it a bandage you ask? no! it's famous, drug free breathe right. (squeaky noise) ingenious flexible strips that fit your nose to gently open your nasal passages... (free air/deep breath) ...for up to 31% more airflow. (female) wow! (announcer) you'll breathe better so you'll sleep better!b@ small strip. big relief. bright idea! breathe better. sleep better. breathe right.

next time part two of jay including advertise parents and the stats of his relationship with david lettermananks for watching and as always keep the faith. >> when i was a kid, we were not allowed to have -- see my folks group during the depression so consequencely they make you feel very guilty about everything. even now i go home for the weekend, hey, dad, pass the assault. we didn't have salt. when i was a kid. we didn't have salt. your mom and i hunted wild dog for food. we had nothing when we were your age. >> for more information on today's show, visit tavis smiley on pbs.org. tavis: hi, i'm tavis smiley. join me tomorrow with part two of my conversation with jay leno. that's next time. we'll see you then. >> there are so many things wal-mart is looking toward to doing like helping people live better. but mostly we're looking forward to helping build stronger communities and relationships. because of your help, the best is yet to come. >> nationwide insurance proudly supports tavis smiley. tavis and nationwide insurance, working to improve financial literacy and the economic empowermen

letterman is next with john legend his guest. that's tonight right after 9news now.'t forget we are always on wusa9.com. good night, everybody. captions by: caption colorado, llc 800-775-7838 email: comments@captioncolorado.com ♪ find your way to a perfect destination at busch gardens... and water country usa... where family-fun surrounds you... and world-class rides astound. start at buschgardens.com. this is humiliating. stand still so we can get an accurate reading. okay...um...eighteen pounds and a smidge. a smidge? y'know, there's really no need to weigh packages under 70 pounds. with priority mail flat rate boxes from the postal service, if it fits, it ships anywhere in the country for a low flat rate. cool. you know this scale is off by a good 7, 8 pounds. maybe five. priority mail flat rate boxes only from the postal service. a simpler way to ship. towels, sheets and then there was the stuff he wanted... like a new microwave. and because of walmart's unbeatable prices, we were able to get it all. ...and then some. set them up for success-- for less. save mone

. >>> and finally tonight, if you think david letterman's recent run in with sarah palin meant no more, you have another thing coming. >> here is a sneak peek at tonight's monday log. >> everything is okay now. president obama has invited me and sarah palin down to the white house for a beer. no longer governor of alaska. so whenever she waves at russia, nobody waves back. >> sdav just ahead tonight -- dave is jus tonight. >> that's 9news now for tonight. thanks for staying up with us on a friday. so when you said you bring fiber optic all the way to the home, you meant... we bring fiber optic all the way to the home. um... which gives you more bandwidth than cable. so you can upload faster. so it's like comparing a horse and buggy to a sports car. am i the, uh, horse? (announcer) it's a whole new internet. only verizon's 100% fiber optic network makes uploading as easy as downloading. because your internet's not fast unless it's two-way fast.

. >> she was on late night with david letterman just hours ago. ten list. the subject was the way things would be different if she were president. >> number six. >> i'd lure selma out of hiding with the new scent of my latest fragrance, circus fantasy. >> number 5. >> every presidential news conference would feature costume changes. >> for the last couple of weeks, all the paparazzi have been catching her hanging out at the pool wearing bikinis. plus she's looks pretty good in a bikini so maybe it's for ratings for letterman. i thought number one was pretty fun pee. she said the number one reasons thins would be different if she was present was that finally the media would pay some attention to her. >> i'm more flabbergasted britney can read. i'm really happy. i'm just kidding, britney. i love you. >> her tour starts august 20th. that's tomorrow. >> she looks great. i'm glad she can poke fun at herself. i bet you never saw this coming. someone who is a reality star has written a book. yes, shocking. >> and a naughty one. >> it is a naughty book. i

don't forget letterman is up next. you have a great one. we'll see you.t as we promise 100% fresh produce... and rancher's reserve beef, guaranteed tender 100% of the time. at safeway, we now promise something new. something big. a commitment... to thousands of new everyday low prices. so you can get what you want. when you want it. at the price you need. today... and tomorrow. that's our promise. that's ingredients for life. safeway. thing's busted. downloads okay but the uploads take forever. uh, actually that's not your computer. that's cable. with fios uploading is as easy as downloading. it's fast both ways. (sighing) you can just leave that. really? yeah i'll take care of it. (announcer) is your internet two-way fast? only verizon fios has the fastest uploads period. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800.974.6006 tty/v we're shopping for car insurance, and our friends said we should start here. good friends -- we compare our progressive direct rates, apples to apples, against other top companies, to help you get the best pri

. >> letterman is up next. have a great night.julie loves target, it's got the supplies teacher told her to get and for a great deal. she also expects he'll love the sandwich. she expects he'll think of her when he sees the note. so she shops target. gotta have deals on the stuff she's gotta get. target. expect more. pay less. ( music throughout ) hey bets, can i borrow a quarter? sure, still not dry? i'm trying to shrink them. i lost weight and now some clothes are too big. how did you do it? simple stuff. eating right and i switched to whole grain. whole grain... studies show that people who eat more whole grain tend to have a healthier body weight. multigrain cheerios has five whole grains... and 110 calories per lightly sweetened serving. more grains. less you. multigrain cheerios.

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. >>> well, up next on letterman,r tiquenn tarti qu. then an amazing stunt. >> whoa. >> i can do that. that's next after the news. we will explain the naked truth about sell light and what you can do -- celluitelite and what you can do with it. >>> and topper do you have kick weather look here -- quick weather look here. >> tomorrow and wednesday 90. thunderstorms. bill will become category two to three and we'll worry about that saturday. >> and if you're concerned about the weather, you can check it on wusa9.com where we're always on. >> goodnight. . l-l-l- (announcer) if you think all batteries are the same, consider this: when a tornado tore through holly, colorado, air life denver took to the air... their night-vision goggles keeping them safe on a perilous flight... and powering those precision goggles--- is the only battery air life trusts: duracell. trusted everywhere. look for new duracell ultra advanced now with even more power to protect. for just nine dollars, you can get them shoes from names like danskin now and starter. ♪

what has happened to david letterman?would think that these people are the taliban. they killed six americans earlier this week. peter: a lot of americans have died as a result of this. this is just not funny. gretchen: and she would get away with it by saying it was a joke. let's see what chris wallace has to say about that. >> good morning. gretchen: the do you think that joke is over the line? >> i am not going toç get into it, i want to tell you about sunday. there has been a lot of talk about death panels, and some people say that that is overstated. we want to tell youç about this book that is currently being used by the veterans of administration for end of life counseling to veterans, often returning with a terrible injuries -- with terrible injuries. it is a book that is being used on end of life counseling. i think you will be shocked when it is that health care providers and the veterans administration right now are advising, asking of veterans. it certainly seems to need in the direction of pulling the plug,

what does david letterman say. he's just laughing. other words like michael vick was targeting an animal. >> and that he had a strong enough arm to do that. >>> there is more family drama for a nascar diver suspended for allegedly testing positive for meth. here's rafer with more on that. >> this has become a family affair. unfortunately for nascar, their star witness in their case against jeremy mayfield may have taken a bit of a credibility hit. after nascar suspended mayfield for that alleged positive test, his stepmother, lisa, told officials in an affidavit she saw him take the drug which jeremy mayfield disputed. lisa was arrested for trespassing at jeremy's north carolina home facing four misdemeanor assault charges and one trespassing and jeremy's wife said lisa was intoxicated and threatened to kill them. not good behavior if true. >>> this is not good behavior either. nba player stephon marbury caught on video spoking pot. it was on his own website. he shot it or had someone else shoot it and said he did nothing wrong and wa

she was on david letterman with a list of things that would be different if she were the president. i've got to warn you, though, we're pretty sure that this is a change you cannot believe in. >> number nine -- >> we would only invade fun places like cabo. >> that's right, okay. >> every presidential news conference would feature costume changes. >> mm-hmm, sure. >> challenge u.s. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade. >> exactly. the number one way the country would be different if britney spears were president -- >> finally, the media would pay some attention to me. >> there you go. >> that was brave, actually. >> irony that was. >> she was sitting down in a bikini. >> as opposed to standing? >> yeah, sitting down, you've got to suck it all in. >>> all right, can you believe that after all that retirement talk, brett favre is back again for another season? if he holds up, rafer. >> that's the question, robin. i don't think that he will hold up. and you know what? i'm not mad at brett favre for this. i'm not. i'm mad at myself because i believed him on july 29th whe

for the first time in years, david letterman is the king of late-night chat, beating the "tonight showr four straight weeks. >> it's interesting about that michael jackson, because you hear mixed thoughts. a lot of people say enough is enough, we've heard enough coverage about that story, but when you look at the ratings -- >>ou want more. you need more. >> yeah. >> like a drug. >> he was definitely an icon, for sure. and how about this from the small screen to the silver one? g.i. joe is the weekend box office champ. the action film based on the popular line of toys raked in more than $56 million in its debut. and meryl streep's "julie & julia" was second. but despite the big receipts, analysts say summer revenues are still down just about 1% compared to last year. >> i didn't even know g.i. joe the movie was coming out, so obviously the marketing is not doing so well, or maybe i'm living in a cave. >> knowing you're live in a cave. and you would have gone, wouldn't you? >> yeah, great american hero. >> all right. 5:52 is the time on this early mourning. it's my "save-so-much-on- his-

. >> larry: david letterman keeps calling you regis lee and kelly lee. as a throw back to kathie lee. are you a friend of her? >> i am a big fans of hers. i was a watcher. their chemistry. i absolutely adore her. >> we used to watch the show -- >> we did. >> in the hair and makeup room of "all my children." >> we'd get our makeup done and watch "regis and kathie lee." i said when she leaves, i feel sorry for whoever. there is just no way it would work. i had no idea it would be the person they would choose and select. i've been enormously blessed by that job. >> larry: they're not only married, mark also officiates at other weddings. he officiated at howard stern's wedding. we'll talk about that after the we'll talk about that after the break. >>> i'm erica hill in tonight for anderson cooper. ahead, an emotional reunion for journalists laura ling and euna lee. greeted by their families this morning in california, we'll let you see the moment in full for yourself. >>> plus, we take you inside the mind of a killer. chilling new details from the diary of a

she made it presentation on "the david letterman program." >> reasons to vote britney spears for presidenti would be the first president to wear eye shadow since nixon. >> number four. >> america might have a more coherent fiscal strategy. >> the number one way the country would be different if britney spears were president. >> finally, the media would pay some attention to me. bill: is she a pinhead? only you can decide. an embarrassing display on billoreilly.com. here i am modeling the american patriot hat. we also have "tf" hats standing for "the factor." check it out on billoreilly.com. the e-mail. bill: let's be fair. the pictures of that teenager were allegedly taken in a dressing room by a trespasser. bill: let me break this to you. it is impossible to watch too much "factor." bill: with me, not at me, i hope. we have a very interesting talking. memo to dick. if you missed it, you can pick it up online. e-mail us with pithy comments from anywhere in the world. oreilly@foxnews.com. oreilly@foxnews.com. name and town if you wish to opine. please, when writing to was, do not be a hotsp

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that brings us to the punch line courtesy of, drum roll, please, britney spears on letterman last nature. in a teeny-weeny bikini with her top ten list of ways the country would be different if she were president. here are our favorites. >> number ten. >> i think the first president to wear eye shadow since nixon. >> number nine. >> we would only invade fun places. every presidential news conference would feature costume changes. >> sure. number one way the country would be different if britney spears were president. >> finally, the media would pay attention to me. >> britney spears, everybody. two years ago, hedge-shaving drug-taking mess. now back in shape with one of the top tours of the year. way to make a comeback, lady. and that is tonight's "matchup." >>> hundreds of car dealers now furious over cash for clunkers. they say they are not getting paid and they are pulling out of the program. plus, voters versus terrorists in afghanistan tonight. the polls open in just a few hours there. the taliban out in full force. does democracy stand a chance? >> insurgency in afghanistan didn't

this is serious. >> yes, it is serious, but david letterman couldn't avoid some jokes.th a ben bernanke imposter. >> he's handsome, but he's not bernanke handsome, am i right, girls? all right. and number one sign you're dealing with a ben ber bernanke imposter, his plan to fix the economy? don't change a thing! >> bernanke was one of hundreds of victims who stole more than $200 million koirg to police, and they didn't use the internet, they did it the old fashioned way. a pick pocket stole his wife's purse from the back of a chair of a starbucks and used her checkbook. if something like this happens to you, your wallet is stolen, more trouble is in the works. so call your bank and credit card right away. kick their butt. no kidding. jen, thank you. >>> new evidence in the murder of jasmine fiori. there were signs of a struggle inside her car. the mercedes was found wednesday. you see it being towed. police also found blood stains on the patio of a hotel room that fiori shared with her former husband, ryan jenkins. and police in canada say they know who helped jenkins c