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i'm alan kalter. >> and now, the missing sock from the wash, david letterman

. >> he went to the david letterman taping and dave and i shoot it out to get reaction.tor continues all across the usa and all over the world. >> it was earlier this week and supported the kennedy's last days and i visited david letterman. the infamous leaker snowden came up. >> he's in china. china is not the place you run when you want freedom. >> right. i might go ton gilla or someplace like that. >> and so after the taping, we is not waters out to talk to some in the letterman ♪ >> they both handled themselves well. i was expecting hot la va. >> you had a lot of good information. and he combined serious and funny part of the time. >> they are addicted to the internet. >> and he was funny. it was funnier than we expected. (laughter) bill was the teacher and dave was the student. >> it did come out that way. njust being a traitor he would be abetting the economy. >> you can make a case releasing all of this stuff make its harder for the nsa to track terrorist. >> i thought someone was trying to restrain you. nprobably someone else in the audience. >> bang, zoom. >> i

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. >>> dade letterman is next with john travolta. >> have a great evening.omorrow morning at 4:30 right here. ( band playing "late show" th >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs and now, forever in seersucker, david letterman! (cheers and applause)

president. >> letterman wants the tat tater tots.his week president obama was addressing remarks when he heard a buzz from the crowd. >> no other country can match that history. and what was true years ago is still true today. who's beeping over there? you're feeling kind of self-conscious, aren't you? it's okay. >> not want to be that person. glad to see the president laughed it off. there's no word on the owner of that cell phone in question. >>> now moving on to some feline news. the family in oregon are parents to a two-headed kitten. it has four eyes, two noses, two mouths and is healthy. it was rejected by its mother. the kit ten's name, of course, is deucy. >>> finally, we bring a new meaning to the term real estate boom. the listing price is $750,000. the square footage, 52 feet wide by 185 feet deep selling a decommissioned cold war missile silo as a home. there's actually a launch control desk, there's a big red button. according to the broker they're spacious living set. >> your property taxes should be pressie low. the ac

david letterman! (cheers and applause) ( band playing "late show" theme )

it's perfect. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and how about letterman?ah, yeah, that's good. >> and i brought the promo of the letterman show if you want to see it. >> jimmy: i would love to see that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here we go. [ cheers and applause ] jerry seinfeld and david letterman. "comedians in cars getting coffee." take a look at this. >> oh, that's nice. that's so nice, isn't it? >> this is a treat for me. you're driving the paul newman volvo. >> yes! >> could have killed me, i guess. anybody know what a puffer is? has the board of health signed off on that? >> may i have two men, please? gay marriage legal in connecticut? >> how did you know i like kettle corn? >> i had a feeling. >> he has a little toy whip, and he's whipping the baby. it's monkey! >> hey, bill. hey, randy. >> bill, randy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys got to check it out. jerry seinfeld. check out new episodes of "comedians in cars getting coffee," thursdays at noon on crackle.com. we'll have the demo of the ps4 when we come back. come on back, everybody. [ ch

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. >>> in a moment, the tip of the day about me and david letterman., moment as way. we've been bringing people together. today, we'd like people to come together on something that concerns all of us. obesity. and as the nation's leading beverage company, we can play an important role. that includes continually providing more options. giving people easy ways to help make informed choices. and offering portion controlled versions of our most popular drinks. it also means working with our industry to voluntarily change what's offered in schools. but beating obesity will take continued action by all of us, based on one simple common sense fact... all calories count. and if you eat and drink more calories than you burn off, you'll gain weight. that goes for coca-cola, and everything else with calories. finding a solution will take all of us. but at coca-cola, we know when people come together, good things happen. to learn more, visit coke.com/comingtogether >>> time for the tip of the day about me and david letterman. kennedy's lasts days is now the number

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. >>> letterman is next with dana harvey. >> that'll do it. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. >> and now the dancing cavalier, david letterman captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs

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. >>> time for the tip of the day about me and david letterman.ennedy's lasts days is now the number one nonfiction children's book in the country. it's a beautiful book, and it's important that american kids learn about their country. kenne kennedy's last days teaches about the civil rights, the russian nuclear threat, the kennedy family and the assassination itself. it makes a great summer reading tome for them. also my three adult bestselles s killing kennedy, killing linton and keep it pithy. >>> o'reilly your talking points may be angry. our government seems to be out of control. from escondido, california. i totally disagree with you about james clapper. the congress people knew clapper could not answer their questions, because it would arm national security. and what's the big deal about compiling phone calls? anyone can read an address on the outside of an envelope. if you look inside that envelope that's a federal crime. that's what we're talking about here, the national security excuse cannot be used by law breaking. charlene from rock s

letterman is next. have a great night! >> bye bye. [ male announcer ] you know what's so awesome about the internet? it gets more and more entertaining every day. and once you've got verizon fios, that's when you get it -- america's fastest, most reliable internet takes your entertainment to ridiculous levels. i was streaming videos, movies, music. once i realized how fast it was, that's when i got it. [ male announcer ] it's your last chance to get fios for just $89.99 a month guaranteed for 2 years with $200 back, and a multi-room dvr free for 12 months with a two-year agreement. technology that makes life more entertaining, call the verizon center for customers with disabilities that's powerful. at 800-974-6006 tty/v. from the united states postal service a small design firm can ship like a big business. just go online to pay, print and have your packages picked up for free. we'll do the rest. ♪ ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's th

. >>> letterman is next with neil >>> letterman is next with neil patrick mçó

david letterman is up next with stephen king. >> have a great night. our next news cast tomorrow morning at 4:30. i expect all of you. exercise, have a good breakfast then join us at 4:30. go take a nap right now. >> good night. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs

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. >> and you were there for letterman. >> jimmy: for david letterman. >> you did the greatest dustini haven't heard a dustin hoffman -- >> there aren't many, no. sxwrrpt but you we >> jimmy: but you were just dead on with dustin hoffman. and your wife naomi watts or your lover, whatever you want to call it. >> yes, my lover. >> jimmy: she was on the show. she said you do a lot of different characters. >> no, i don't. i don't do impressions. it's one of those things people say on talk shows, that my husband does impressions. i don't, actually. i have a whiny baritone. dustin is a whiny baritone. i sound like dustin. i think that's probably why they asked me to dot kennedy center honors. >> jimmy: really? >> because i sound like him. >> jimmy: somebody was that intuitive that they examined your voices and said this is why we're going to get him? >> well, you know, dustin's probably had a string of bad luck in the past couple of years, and they couldn't get whoever they probably wanted to get. and they said how about that guy? he sounds a little like him. >> jimmy: you do sound like him

i'm not here to judge david letterman. get help. and the third best thing on the internet today. a vine is a six second looping video like the one shown here. unofficially a vine is kind of terrifying. it did strike some as a bit odd when the white house chose to commemorate a visit from cookie monster with a vine. want to have nightmares for the rest of your life? look, it's cookie monster working yards away from where the president lives. c is for creepy, the reason why cookie monster was at the white house to begin with is amazing. he was there to publicize a sesame workshop program that helps children whose parents are in jail. but the way to turn noble things into creepy things is with vine. while it's slightly terrifying to see a white house cookie monster popping up from behind the lamppost. it's nowhere as creepy as seeing a times square elmo popping up from behind a liquor store. we'll be right back. >>> when the government wanted my mantra? always go the extra mile. to treat my low testosterone, i did my research. my doctor and i went with axiron, the only underarm low

. >> david letterman takes on vladimir putin for possibly pocking a super bowl ring back in 2005. >>you aware of the fact that vladimir putin stole a super bowl ring from the owner of the boston patriots. here's what else he's been up to. take a look at this? violence. we are continuing to strengthen our cooperation on this issue include ing including we welcome the winter olympics. >> well actually i really do think that vladimir putin clipped robert kraft's super bowl ring. i really do think he grabbed it. next the godfather meets reality. remember robert duval's character? he played tom hagen, a lawyer for the corleone crime family. the trial of james "whitey" bulger is going on in boston and guess who showed up at the courthouse to see what was happening. there's robert duval leaving the courthouse. he sat in the back of the courtroom with other spectators. he's in the area shooting a movie with other big name actors like billy bob thornten and robert downey jr. >>> joe biden brings up his signature word to talk about immigration reform. >> all this stuff you heard the last six m

last night, david letterman fared well by the top ten calls received.ake a look. >> does the lick yield or subtract calories? no. 7. when will licked shells be in my area? >> no. 3, he is the same guy that stood in the lettuce? remember that guy? >> probably the same guy. >> probably. of course, it's the same guy. >> how many guys are going to -- >> no. 2, can i have the shell lick bid a rabbi? and the no. 1 call received at taco bell headquarters, hi, michael douglas here. >> oh. that's just wrong. >> i'm not touching the one. >> you remember r & b singer miguel, right, he made that genius decision to jump into a crowd, land. >> right, landed on a girl's head. >> take a look. go ahead. ♪ ♪ [ music playing ] >> that was the most unsmooth thing i have ever seen. >> it wasn't even singing. >> i know. when miguel came down, he landed on two fans heads. one says she is experiencing head trauma and may have caused brain damage. we are learning miguel posed the idea of jumping into the audience and was told not to do it with the risk. he did what every on-air

. >>> david letterman is next with jamie jamie foxx. >> it is going to get hot tomorrow. >> giants willin? >> they will not play and they hey, look! a shooting star! make a wish! i wish we could lie here forever. i wish this test drive was over, so we could head back to the dealership. [ male announcer ] it's practically yours. test drive! [ male announcer ] but we still need your signature. volkswagen sign then drive is back. and it's never been easier to get a jetta. that's the power of german engineering. get $0 down, $0 due at signing, $0 deposit, and $0 first month's payment on any new volkswagen. visit vwdealer.com today. on any new volkswagen. having necessary school supplies can mean the difference between success and failure. the day i start, i'm already behind. i never know what i'm gonna need. new school, new classes, new kids. it's hard starting over. to help, sleep train is collecting school supplies for local foster children. bring your gift to any sleep train, and help a foster child start the school year right.

you got to steal guests from letterman.my: yeah. >> i can't come on here every night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! >> i can't. >> jimmy: come on, you live in new york! you have to! >> i'm not. >> jimmy: come on! >> listen, i got a real problem with you moving to 11:30. i am very close to jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: i know. >> and i like you, but i think i like jimmy better as a friend. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know. >> and you haven't been a good friend to me. >> jimmy: i know, i know. he's your friend. >> he's actually my friend. i invited this guy over to my house. he hasn't invited -- he hasn't reciprocated one bit. >> jimmy: what're you talking about? i went over your house. >> you're going to have to -- >> jimmy: in fact, i went over to your house for party for jimmy kimmel. >> that's right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how rude is that? why don't you throw me a party? that's why i went over to your house for barbecue for jimmy kimmel. >> but you haven't reciprocated yet. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> you don't invite me to

i'm not here to judge david letterman. get help. the third awesomest thing on the internet today, a beloved children's icon meets a new medium. officially, a vine is a six-second looping video like the one shown here. unofficially, a vine is kind of terrifying. want to immortalize your kids' piano recital as six seekds of sheer horror? just create a vine out of it. it did strike some as a bit odd when the white house chose to commemorate a visit from cookie monster as a vine. brace yourself as i unleash the horror. hey, kids, want to have nightmares for the rest of your life? look, it's cookie monster lurking just yards away from where the president lives. new york magazine with the headline "c is for creepy." the reason why cookie monster was at the white house to begin with is amazing. he was there to publicize a sesame workshop program that helps children whose parents are in jail. a really noble and important cause. but the way to turn noble things into creepy things is with vine. although while it is slightly terrifying to see

. >> reporter: it won't make letterman's top 10 list. >> what is a taper?> reporter: it's not a zoo animal or a cnn anchor or a way to wear your jeans. it's fed chair ben bernanke's toughest job yet. how does he taper down from historical stimulus? it likely the greatest challenge for this chief. >> he's already stayed longer than he wanted or is supposed to. >> reporter: he's done what no fed chief has done before. basically he's holding a fire hose, spraying $85 billion a month straight into the economy. it can't go on forever. and the obsession on wall street as to when it will end is probably the most important driver of your 401(k) right now. taper joins a list that includes quantitative easing, fiscal cliff, sequester. remember t.a.r.p.? sometimes the jargon sounds greek to the rest of us. speaking of greece, austerity is the word there, opposite of b r bernanke's actions. the message from the fed, take away the training wheels too soon and the economy could crash. but fail to taper, and this economy may not take flight on its own. to be clear, the ta

. >> letterman is next with johnny depp. captain jack. >> going to be hot tomorrow.hose hot wings from hooters. >> not much is. >> have a great evening. time is running out to get the hottest deal on a new mattress. sleep train's 4th of july sale is ending soon. right now, save on sleep train's

of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight...

. >>> david letterman is next. >> have a great evening see you tomorrow

. >>> dade letterman is next with john travolta. >> have a great evening. >> have a great evening.omorrow morning they are. they don't think like you and i. you know it. they just, they ignore us. totally. it's like we're only here to serve them. yeah, that's what i been saying. but then they turn around and fill you up with chevron with techron. i guess we're doing something right. yeah but, come on, humans? humans are weird. [ male announcer ] your car takes care of you, care for it. chevron with techron. care for your car. and what's up with the cat? [ laughter ] [ laughter ] got my eye on him. >> announcer: the following is a