. -- linguini. (applause) i sound delicious. i hope i die in time for me to eat myself. finally, folks, i love happy endings. i also enjoy stories that feel good at the conclusion. well here's one that is sure to warm the koch els of your heart. you all remember two years ago when the students at uc davis holding a sit-in terrorized the campus sidewalk with their butts and had to have their eyes pepper boarded. it was a dark story that gripped a nation. but will you be happy to know the victim has finally been compensated. >> john pike, the campus police officer at uc davis who pepper sprayed those protestors will receive $38,000 in workers comp for the depression and anxiety he suffered in the aftermath. >> stephen: folks-- i know, i'm happy too. it is the biggest payout for assaulting people's eyes since transformers 3. (laughter) so i want to give a tip of the hat to john pike for finally getting compensation for the brutality of john pike. this man cannot walk down the street without being called a pepper spray guy. and that stings. not as bad as pepper spray but sti