lupercalia!--the mid-february roman fertility feast that st.valentine's day is based on. [laughter] as i'm sure you know, lupercalia is named for lupa, the she-wolf who suckled rome's twin founders romulus and remus. [laughter] folks, i say that's what's wrong with kids today: not enough wolf-teat. [cheers and applause] [laughter] so to the guys watching the show, a little hint, after the show tonight, i want you to celebrate a traditional valentine's day -- by guzzling a couple of skins full of wine, sacrificing a goat to venus, wearing its skin, and racing through your town, whipping any women you pass with a short leather thong to promote fertility. [laughter] you know, romance! [laughter] [cheers and applause]

[laughter] no, the true meaning of valentine's day is all about the l-word: lupercalia!mid-february roman fertility feast that st.valentine's day is based on. [laughter] as i'm sure you know, lupercalia is named for lupa, the she-wolf who suckled rome's twin founders romulus and remus. [laughter] folks, i say that's what's wrong with kids today: not enough wolf-teat. [cheers and applause] [laughter] so to the guys watching the show, a little hint, after the show tonight, i want you to celebrate a traditional valentine's day -- by guzzling a couple of skins full of wine, sacrificing a goat to venus, wearing its skin, and racing through your town, whipping any women you pass with a short leather thong to promote fertility. [laughter] you know, romance! [laughter] [cheers and applause] either that, or you know pick up some roses at the deli. girls like that stuff. [laughter] nation, it's been five years since the economic meltdown. and while even i used to be mad at wall street-- at this point, who can even remember who wired the global financial system to a roulette wheel