"mad money" starts now. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica people want to make you friends, i'm trying to make you money my job is not just educate you but to teach you so call me and tweet me @jimcramer. tonight i'm letting you in on something real big. the method of my madness. come on i know this is the craziest most random and bringly bizarre thing on not just business tv but television in general. i mean think about it, a one-man show about business but i also know that you won't find investing advise this good anywhere else, you know that too, or else you wouldn't be watching. i'm not sure you're one of those people who tune in to see if the night is the tonight i actually do go off the rails which after multiple years of airing is always a possibility on any given night. sorry, guys there's a tape delay. keep wishing. bound to happen though i do my best so it doesn't this. show is all about the method or methods to break from strictly quoting the bard to my madness. how do i pick stocks? what gets on this show? you

"mad money" starts now. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i'm just trying to save you money. my job isn't just to entertain but to teach and educate you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. tweet me @jim cramer. there goes another week where we spent too much time focusing on the fed. and not enough time on the actual companies that are impacting their open own stocks with takeovers and breakups. i'm hoping next week that it might produce some more logical action. but before we get to the schedule you need know there are three prisms. three prisms thousand which we'll be viewing each quarter. first, if the company has an international aspect, we have to look at the strong dollar decimation where they get walloped from weak currencies and what's known as constant currency. where we figure out what a company would have earned if the dollar is unchanged. i'm concerned about the dollar conundrum because most analysts have yet to slash their estimates to account for it. so we're likely to see blood letting no matter what

welcome to "mad money." >> thank you.e here. >> you're doing something so profound that you're giving transparency, you're also making it so that it's easier better for the consumer. there's a device that you have that i think is the good metaphor to start with. >> so this is what we call the nanotainer, a very small tube that's designed to replace the big vials that you take out of your arm. with a tiey drop that can come from a finger. >> what did this mine how would it upend the paradigm? i know you don't want to think small. >> the goal is to empower the individual. we believe strongly that the future of health care is in enabling the individual to have the information that they need to take ownership of their health and making lab information that drives 80% of clinical decisions more accessible but making it as painless as possible making it incredibly inexpensive appeared providing transparency around pricing, so people know before they buy a health care service, how much it will cost them. >> now, this is not some

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want the to make friends. i just want to make you money. my job is to educate and teach you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc or tweet me @jimcramer. tonight i want to take a step back. and talk about the big picture. my ultimate goal on the show is as always is to teach you how to be better at managing your money, not just investing. every aspect of oh your financial life. sometimes that means we need to take a deep breath step back from the nitty-gritty of the market and focus on the educational side of oh things. what i call investing 101. honestly if any university was crazy enough to give me tenure i could teach an entire semester's worth of classics on the basics. that presupposes that any institution of higher education in america would be interested in teaching you how to manage your money. a topic that's a little too quotidian for the ivory tower type that is run clengs. most colleges are more interested in taking your money than making you money. that's why you can tak

"mad money" starts now! hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica.ther people want to make friends. i'm trying to save money. my job is not just to entertain but to teach and coach. call me or tweet me @jim cramer. at last, some things are making sense to me. at last

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there's the end of march madness and the beginning of the end for mad men. rma.king your credit score is for chumps. i have great credit. how do you know? duh. you know those change, right? tattoos don't change. try credit karma. it's free and you can see what your score is right now. aren't you a little bit curious? i just got my free credit score! credit karma. really free credit scores. really free. i have got to update my ink. ♪ [upbeat music] ♪ defiance is in our bones. defiance never grows old. citracal maximum. easily absorbed calcium plus d. now in a new look. the garden is the story of our lives... told and retold. it's as old as our time on earth. and as new as tomorrow. you can have a yard. or slightly less. gardening isn't about where we choose to live. it's about how we choose to live. miracle-gro. life starts here. sometimes the present looked bright. sometimes romantic. there were tears in my eyes. and tears in my eyes. and so many little things that we learned were really the biggest things. through it all, we saved and had a retirement plan. and

"mad money" starts now. >> hey i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money" welcome to cramerica. this time from our san francisco home one market. other people want to make friends. i'm trying to make you a little money. my job is to educate you and put this crazy market in perspective. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc or tweet me at jim cramer. does the market know what it's doing? does it really punish apple stock for, let's call it as it is, the best quarter ever. does it really reward murick for not screwing up? should twitter have been crushed on an estimate cut or ibm rally on a dividend hike? one is still growing like a weed and the other is not growing at all. these are all part of the mosaic today. s&p gained .28% but the nasdaq fell .10%. it's not that the market is stupid or even that it's unreasonable. it's just that it's prone periodically to brain freezes and snap judgments. we saw a huge number of snap judgments today and they may not hold up under close scrutiny. even as they seem dramatic and final in their severity. first there's apple. what happened? how could this st

"mad money" starts now. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i'm trying to make you a little money. my job is not just to entertain but to teach you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. or tweet me @jim cramer. sometimes the correlations go out the window. dow gained 56 points nasdaq 4.8%. we saw the dollar soar today, something that should have and has put pressure on the averages. no, no, didn't impact them. the market went higher. how about the fact when you have a strong dollar that usually means oil goes lower, right? no. not today. oil went higher. even as everyone has been brainwashed into thinking a stronger dollar means weaker oil. we had a universal judgment every oil company is loyal to the buyout. royal dutch was down again today. and for the record alcoa kicked off earnings season last night with a strong quarter that supported an excellent 7% revenue growth and gave a robust forecast for every single aspect of the economy. autos, nonresidential and construction. the reaction? got hammered. no one seems to

. >> march madness is a productivity killer for companies.s distracted workers could cost at least $1.9 billion in wages as people fill out their brackets in the office and many games will be on during the day. but experts say employers shouldn't ban office pools because it could hurt morale. >> larry: yeah, that sounds like fun! i would love to have an office pool! >> did somebody say office pool?! sweet! cannonball! >> larry: no, no, no cannonball! that's not the type of pool i was talking about. shoo! go on! get! damn neighbors' kids. but back to basketball. nothing soothes my nerves like amateur athletics, where it's all about the molding of young minds, far from the corrupting influence of money. >> ncaa basketball which generates about a billion dollars a year for march madness -- >> college athletes are generating billions of dollars of money -- >> this new playoff structure has generated millions, maybe even billions in extra revenue for schools. >> larry: okay, so there's a little bit of money changing hands. a few billion here or th

heather's still mad about it. and you? more sad than mad by now. i only moved up here because i couldn't stand living in the same city and never hearing from him. all he ever talks about is the two of you getting back together. then why not pick up the damn phone? he's a proud man. thank you. i'll get right on it. woman: i'll pick you up tonight, trevor. i love you. trevor: bye, honey. gail! what are you doing here? i gave trevor a ride in. well, it's been ages. how are you doing? okay under the circums. i-i thought if he'd tell anyone, it would be you. tell me whatstance a couple months ago, trevor had to go to the e.r. in the middle of the night. what? we thought it was food poisonin? but it wasn't. trevor's sick? very. g. oh, gail. hey. got your message. what's up? can you close the door? okay. i don't know how to say this. wey don't you just say it? 'cause you're kind of freaking me out a little bit here. the guy you're looking for, i... i think it could be trevor holt. you're joking, right? i wish i were ll, wh and i would like you to talk me

from "mad men" kiernan shipka is here and we will be right back with tim allen.ound. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portion of jimmy kimmer live are brought to you by the new autotrader where you can find the perfect car for you. . house! car! oh, raise the roof! no one? remember when we used to raise the roof, diane? oh, quiet, richard, i'm trying to make sense of flo's terrible drawing. i'll draw the pants off that thing. oh, oh, hats on hamburgers! dancing! drive-in movie theater! home and auto. lamp! squares. stupid, dumb. lines. [ alarm rings ] no! home and auto bundle from progressive. saves you money. yay, game night, so much fun. i've been claritin clear for ten incdays.le! when your allergy symptoms start, doctors recommend taking one claritin every day of your allergy season for continuous relief. with powerful 24-hour, non-drowsy claritin live claritin clear. every day. (female announcer) ...when you play the new cash4life, from the pennsylvania lottery. (husband) let me get this. (female announcer) that means you too could experience the joy

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." people are trying to make friends, i'm just trying to make you money. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc eor tweet me @jimcramer. garden variety days in this market we must always guard against our own human emotions. which often get the better of us when everything is going well in the stock market and when things are going badly they seem to grip us totally. when things are too good we tend to take too much risk and when things are going terribly we despair and leave the stock market entirely. it's a fact of life and even over the years even as stocks have climbed and climbed there have been swoons, real swoons that drove people out. they simply went to securities to give you little or no return. then they watched the big gains from the sidelines. i totally understand the version of stocks that people had these days. many reasons to be disenchantened. there is stocks when they were cut in half from 2007 to 2009. there's debacles like flash crash or the facebook ipo. and then there's the insi

guys, march madness. you guys got march madness? [ cheers and applause ] got march madness. are you guys picking? everyone's picking kentucky, is that it? blue ace. yeah. blue ace. i never heard of -- i'm sorry there's too many -- there's too many -- there's too many colleges. sorry. [ laughter ] i don't even know what i'm doing. i fill it out, i just hand it in. everyone's filling out their brackets. jeb bush filled one out. you can tell he's running for president because his picks for the final four are iowa, iowa, iowa, and iowa. and come on, that's -- [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: clearly running for president. i saw president obama. he did the bracket too. he sat down with espn. and he said that he thinks the ncaa should reduce the shot clock for basketball games. yeah. then he said, and while they're at it, any way they can reduce the being president clock? [ laughter and applause ] take it down a year and a half? i'm ready to go! and get this. according to a professor at depaul university, if a person randomly fills out their march madness bra

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey, i'm cramer! welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica.nt to make friends, i'm just trying to make you a little money. my job is not just to entertain you, but to coach and teach you. so call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. i'm talking about events that seem so out of control, it's a wonder the stock market does anything, let alone rally, but

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey, i'm cramer! welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends, i'm just trying to make you a little money. my job is not just to entertain you, but to coach and teach you. so call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. i'm talking about events that seem so out of control, it's a wonder the stock market does anything, let alone rally, but the dow closing 65 points the nasdaq advancing 0.14%. the first wild card the uranium nuclear deal. i've rarely seen an international agreement that's this bewildering to investors. is it good for the economy? is it bad for the economy. are they about to flood the world with oil now that sanctions are going to be removed or will it be a slow build. will iran play ball and sponsor fewer terrorists groups or does this deal mean nothing at all? i always say, well, the conclusion, even a bad conclusion, is good because it eliminates the day-to-day uncertainty that the market was suffering under this iranian negotiation. if iran and the u.s. agree to the deal then investors might believe, rightly or

welcome to "mad money." >> good to see you. >> you made this aquaition last year. easton. i know you had to take down debt it was the home run. >> no question about it t. easton is a fact company. great people there, great invasion. really bringing compelling products to the sport. we're excited to have it as part of the team. >> we are big technology in sports believers. we knew he was merging technology and sports. nike did that. how much technology and invasion are you allowed to bring to softball and baseball? >> the latest bat easton brought is the mako torque. it has a rotating handle. for traditional players to think that the handle moves, it allows youz to be in the position longer in the sweet spot. it is approved for all levels of play. >> it did seem to me that the more than 100% of the companies have come from baseball. >> well q 3 is a low quarter for hockey business. so this canwas a perfect company to bring in. >> when i look at the chart of how you're going to make your money from now on it l

"mad money" starts now. >> hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." other people want to make friends, i'm trying to save you money. my job is not to just entertain you but et ok'd andducate and teach you. call me or tweet me. de deluge. demand for stocks is waning which is why on this first dave a new quarter, the dow fell 78 points. s&p 500 declined .had%4%. and believe me at some point it was real ugly. i often talk about what actually moves stocks and how they can react to a whole series of inputs earnings forecasts, employment gains federal reserve policy changes. these are all substantive game changers. they can impact your portfolio. however, there is a whole series of issues having to do with the mechanics of money management. while the issues are rarely talked about except perhaps on this show they can have every bit as much of an impact on your stocks as those heavyweight fundmmentfund funneled. al inputs i mentioned. that's why i focus on the secretive workings of money management, the busy used to be because these forces are extremely powe

our cameras among the last ever on the set of "mad men." "nightly news" begins right now. >>> from nbc news world headquarters in new york, this is "nbc nightly news." reporting tonight, lester holt. >>> good evening. few things have rattled the world quite like the prospect of iran developing a nuclear weapon, which is why all eyes this week have been glued on a small city in switzerland where today nearly round-the-clock negotiations with iran and how to curb its nuclear program finally produced the framework of a deal. one that president obama quickly proclaimed would ensure iran will never be able to develop the bomb. but then there's the issue of what iran gets in return and whether any deal will hold. our team has it covered. we begin with andrea mitchell in lausanne. andrea. >> reporter: good evening, lester. it's been 18 months of tough negotiations ending with an all-nighter that still left several key issues unresolved. but tonight the united states could be entering a new era in its relationship with iran. and president obama is

"mad money" starts now. hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i'm just trying to save you money. my job isn't just to entertain but to teach you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc. or tweet me nicely please, @jimcramer. all right. we can talk about the feds role in this quick sand we're swimming in. we can draw connections to the dollar and bonds and soft macro data. whatever you want to explain today's decline. dow sinking 195 points, s&p down 1.01%. nasdaq plunging 1.64. i know i have heard all those consents bandied as the scourge of stock owners who got laid to waste today, pulverized. but i think this market is all about eve. yeah. the original eve. who was tricked by the serpent into eating the forbidden apple from the trees. and the whole investor class has been paying the price. the serpent in this case is that apple quarter. the one that seems so tempting to eager investors that they couldn't resist buying the stock ahead of, during and right after earnings. reaching to the skies for it. even as i begged you n

"mad money" starts now. >> hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money" welcome to crameria. i'm just trying to make a little money. my job is not just to entertain you but to educate and teach you. so call 1-800-743-cnbc. you've heard a ton about this earnings season. i say don't tell that to anyone that owns amazon, google microsoft or starbucks because these stocks exploded higher today on better than expected earnings and last i looked those are pretty darn important big stocks and they propel the averages with the dow gaining 23 points and nasdaq falling. .71%. why don't we do this? let's stop it with the woeful earnings and start taking advantage of the opportunities where ever we can find them. we kick things off in the most important earnings report of all. that's apple which announces it's quarter after the close next monday. we'll be out in san francisco. we'll be like apple central. just in case you're watching the show for the first time let me say i believe in owning apple not trading it. owning not trading. as long as am remains cheaper than the average stock an

"mad money" starts now! hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends. i'm trying to save money. my job is not just to entertain but to teach and coach. call me or tweet me @jim cramer. at last some things are making sense to me. at last ceos in this country are realizing just how lucky they might be thanks, to the strong dollar and they're taking action on that. it's one of the chief reasons they have rallied most of the day. a late afternoon decline, the dow is dipping, nasdaq sliding .14%. yes, today, we got a graphic example of what can happen when the u.s. executive decides to think big! and that's exactly what fred smith the ceo of fedex did this morning when he announced this company's $4.8 billion acquisition of tnt express. a company that has huge market share in europe. this fuel i heard say it wasn't that transformative. will you stop? this encaps lates all the good things celebrated or talked about on most tv shows and written about in the papers or the web. no one is talking about this. first, fedex is gett

the newshour's jeffrey brown sits down with elisabeth moss to talk about her portrayal of peggy on mad men and her latest role in the heidi chronicles on broadway. luckily right now there seems to be a little bit of a resurgence of feminism. next on pbs newshour weekend. >> pbs newshour weekend is made possible by: corporate funding is provided by mutual of america-- designing customized individual and group retirement products. that's why we are your retirement company. additional support is provided by: and by the corporation for public broadcasting and by contributions to your pbs station from viewers like you. thank you. from the tisch wnet studios in lincoln center in new york hari sreenivasan. >> sreenivasan: good evening. thanks for joining us. it was a day of celebration reflection and remembrance in kenya today as millions of christians there observed easter just days after al shabab islamic extremists targeted christian students at a university and killed more than 140 of them. the newshour's william brangham has more. >> this was the scene outside churches in the capital cit

"mad money" starts now. >> hey i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to cramerica. i'm just trying to make you a little money. my job is not just to entertain you but to educate and teach you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc or tweet me @jimcramer. turn arounds are like fairy tales. they barely come true but yesterday they looked like they could become reality. nasdaq advancing .42%. yet today the market embraced the quarterly reports from coca-cola, mcdonald's and yum as legitimate turn arounds. two others are being reevaluated on the fly and could be considered works in progress despite what some might view as dismal disappointing numbers. emphasis on some because many believe there's a pulse in both where they would have been down substantially. all five are tales of hope that could lead to big gains if there's real follow through. let's start with the concept of the turn around and why they're so difficult and so monumental if they work. the pay off could be huge and failure rates extraordinary as very few are able to pull them off. wall street is littered with sales

. >> hyundai may not be mad about this car giveaway at this point. >> of course not.f the end of "mad men." in honor the premier of the final seven episodes, amc have a mad men by the numbers including how many women don draper has slept with. i know you want to know. >> it is a lot to count. >>> first the dramatic tale of a man lost at sea for two months. how he survived and his first words to his father after his rescue straight ahead. >> announcer: "world news now" weather brought to you by dawn platinum power clean. leftovers. the unsung hero of meals. they get re-heated. re-nuked. and re-baked. and when leftovers are done... there's always stuff left over. new dawn platinum power clean calls dibs on those. it powers through tough, dried-on messes in seconds. even 48 hour stuck-on food. so go ahead, triple that recipe! a drop of dawn and grease is gone. [ male announcer ] you wouldn't leave your car unprotected. but a lot of us leave our identities unprotected. nearly half a million cars were stolen in 2012. but for every car stolen 34 people had their identities

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey, i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." i'm just trying to make you a little money. my job is not to just entertain buttent educate you. call or tweet me. >>> we live in a confusing moment for the stock market where there's always someone on tv or internet telling you to do the exact opposite of what you should be doing. they tell you to do the wrong thing with incredible conviction. sometimes they sound super intelligent, much smarter than i sound, for example. but here at "mad money" we're not about sounding smart, we are about getting it right, what to buy, sell what direction the market is heading, how it works, you get these things right and it is heck of easier to make money. work hard. no trick. no five simple rules to make you a multi millionaire overnight but if you do the work you might learn something that might make you a better investor which is simply one who makes more money, because that is the goal. not ideology not politics not view point -- making money. for the better part of a decade i have been running

mad at the bus driver, mad at me for refusing to give up my seat. >> as a result of the bus boycott, the parks moved north. ing throughout the following years, she kept much of her collection intact, intended to be in the rosa parks institute for young people, the one she and steel had creacted in created in detroit. >> and respect it. >> and help another generation learn. >> absolutely. her focus was on the youth. she felt if the youth knew, if the youth understood the youth would carry forth. >> thanks to an exhibit at the library of congress, rosa parks is finally able to speak to a new generation. >> she was not just a one act play. it was not just one protest on december 21st, 1955. >> it wasn't just the bus. >> it wasn't just the bus. she was a quiet seam stress that wrote at full volume . >> with a voice that rings across the ages. the rosa parks collection we know came to the library of congress after some legal wrangling among her friends and heirs, it took an unlikely foundation, the howard buffett, led by warren buffett, turned the entire collection over to the library of

you -- so, congratulations, last season of "mad men." it -- you've been in tv and film forever, but to be playing the same part since 2007, do you get recognized as roger sterling a good amount? >> yeah, you know, i do. and people are usually very nice. although the other day i was riding my bike, it was in long island with my wife, and we were riding around. and i see a sign that says summer -- it's a house -- with a sign in front that says "summer rental." and there was a woman standing in the driveway. so i have a friend looking for a summer rental. and i pull up in the driveway, and i said, "excuse me is this --" i was like, "is this for rent all summer?" she goes, "are you on that show?" and i said, "i guess so." and she goes, "boy you got so fat." i said, "what?" she goes, "you blew up on --" and i was like, "when?" you know we've been doing it almost ten years. maybe, you know, a few pounds here and there, but i don't really recall a time that i got super fat. and i go, "when?" she goes, "i don't know but you blew up. and that joh

"mad money" starts now. >>> hey i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money." welcome to criamerica. i'm trying to make you money. my job is not to entertain. call me at 1800707 cnbc. here we go again. we have a huge 6% break in the price of oil. just when i was beginning to fret. that perhaps gasoline could be jumping here. of course what happens? stock market turns south at least from its earlier heights. it gained 27 points after being higher. the s&p climbing. it's got me upset. i have said it once a thousand times. higher oil is bad. higher gasoline is terrible for the stock market. higher heating bills are horrendous for the stock market. there. there's nothing else to it. end of story. but, let me explain, in case anyone is unclear about this. obviously a market that could go into the red at one point today doesn't get it. my biggest worry for this market right now is the transports the index which has all the different levers of commerce in it. transports have been rolling over for days. we did a whole segment last night how transports could be in trouble. it's a serious thor

let's get to our stock picking march madness duke crowning the ncaa march madness championship.e to crown the top stock picker. on march 15th, 2 stock pickers to face off each other to give their stock brackets. the results are in. who is the winner. we bring back hank smith, chief investment officer, along with jeff. circle square alternative investment president and chief investment officer. we announce the winner. our university of wisconsin runner-up is hank smith. we can put up the stock picks you both had. let's go in order of the face off you did. hank, you picked walt disney. >> and jeff picked johnson & johnson. (?) both did not very well here. right? but hank, walt disney i would have thought would see new gains with the announcement of frozen 2 and star wars on the way. but you saw a bigger loss than jeff on his pick. >> it's still a great long-term holding. both are great blue chip -- hats off to, jeff. >> hank, jpmorgan for the second matchup. you picked lendingtree. big winner for lendingtree. >> yeah. i'm very into the alternative lending trend that's happening ri

the chickweed and the dandelions are reekin' mad havoc!he time to send in the scotts turf builder weed and feed, man! it kills weeds while it feeds and strengthens your grass. feed your lawn. feed it! >>> it takes a unique set of skills to work with the teen offenders inside pendleton juvenile. >> keys. >> "d" complex presents some of the prison's biggest challenges for program director mia black. >> is it frustrating? absolutely. is it rewarding? absolutely. i've had offenders that you want to shake and say snap out of it, grow up, you need to go home, and they just don't grasp it. i have had a lot of success stories. so although the rewards can be few and far between, when you see them, it gives you a purpose to be here. what's up you guys? >> it's up to mia to dissect the issues between edgar muniz's meltdown. he was transferred to d complex a month ago. he's had trouble passing the five levels for release. earlier in the day, he was told he was back to level one. >> i'm on level one. >> don't cry. don't cry. don't cry. why are you cryi

' me mad ♪ ♪ it's makin' me crazy, crazy ♪ ♪ jungle love ♪ ♪ it's drivin' me mad ♪ ♪ it's makin' me crazy♪ ♪ it's makin' me crazy ♪

mad money starts now! hey, i'm cramer. welcome to ""mad money."" welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends, i'm trying to save you money. my job is not to make you money, but to teach you and coach you. call me or tweet me@jimcramer. jokers, just a bunch of jokers. i'm talking about all those sellers and worry warts, you freaked out about friday's number. yeah, let's hope they missed out on every last bit of today's gains. where the dow folded 118 points the s&p jumped 6% in the nasdaq though the market was up higher at one point. these negative nancys might be totally clueless about how this stockmarket actually works. now, when i saw the weekend employment report friday i cheered. not because i didn't want people to get hired. okay, i do. because this accomplished three things. three megatrends. first it shouts out the crowd that didn't work on individual stocks and focuses on the big picture of what the federal reserve will do. i will tell you later how sick i am of these people. it almost had me cry out "mission accomplished." it shows how they are dat

and they are always when he's mad, when he's fed up and mad. right? >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. you're the actor in the family. >> yeah. my favorite one is he would always say, "hands off your penis, tom." [ laughter ] not a joke! not a joke! [ cheers and applause ] no, no, no. see, your, there -- >> jimmy: we didn't think it was a joke. hands off your -- >> hands off your penis because, and they are applauding because they are pro-masturbation and so am i but i wasn't doing the deed. [ laughter ] i wasn't walking around like this kid, i wasn't just him masturbating. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> what a little masturbator. i wasn't. i wasn't. >> jimmy: who would ever say that? >> i wasn't doing that. i was just -- have you seen sometimes little boys they just pinch it. they are just holding it. [ laughter ] i'm serious. i have seen it. i have seen it now as an adult. i've seen a little boy do that. and i'm like, "you and me, you and me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you can't do that though. >> no i don't do that. i do it silent i go,

mad money starts now! hey, i'm cramer. welcome to ""mad money."" welcome to cramerica. other people want to make friends, i'm trying to save you money. my job is not to make you money, but to teach you and coach you. call me or tweet me@jimcramer. jokers, just a bunch of jokers. i'm talking about all those sellers and worry warts, you freaked

like a pit bull with no leash. ( growling ) that's a mad dog!e right guy for the job. >> let me see it. >> okay. ha! >> that's terrible. no, that's horrible. anger. you gotta show me anger. why are you smiling? >> i'm not smiling. i'm tense and i'm agitated. >> come on, man! ( laughter ) >> jon: welcome back to the program will ferrell. ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) will ferrell. >> jon: so nice to see you again. always a pleasure. congratulations, again, on the "happy" song. such a good song. and-- ( laughter ) you're-- you're-- you're such a good artist. >> i appreciate it. >> jon: and a musician and all those things. >> you know what? aside from my musical career. >> jon: sure. ( laughter ) >> there's something important we need to address tonight. you made an announcement. that's right wait, when? >> february, a month ago. >> jon: that's right. >> that you're going to leave the show. >> that's right. ( audience booing ). >> jon: oh, my god! you guys didn't hear about it? they've been taken off guard. >> a little bit. but i

they're mad, they're angry. they believe they're being brutalized and murdered week by week by the cops. >> yes. and that is understandable. but to turn that into this? the row houses and resources. >> they want to be heard. they don't feel they're being heard. >> you can be heard. they can take action. they can do so many things >>> this is a fox news alert. i'm kelly wright. good morning. here is the latest from a city in chaos baltimore maryland. fires are burning and rioters and police are still on the streets. the city experiencing a day of burning, looting and violence. hundreds of city police are out in full riot gear. the rioting started after the funeral of freddie gray concluded earlier in the day. he's the 25-year-old who died last week while in police custody. maryland's governor placing the national guard on alert and declaring a state of emergency. school is canceled for today and a city-wide curfew will be in effect until next week running from 10:00 p.m. until 5:00 a.m. every morning. at least 15

do you have to be mad to be a campaigner. >> remember, why he was mad last time.r bill considered himself the first black president. or we didn't know at the time, then candidate obama campaigning and gaining real momentum. that is when bill clinton came unhinged in your home state, south carolina went off the rails. it was really all downhill from there. bill was angry. he thought his wife was the shoo-in. would be first man. very, very entitled, you're right arthur. i'm not buying this whole backstage bill thing. come on, he can't help himself. we know that. >> emac what do you think about this? does hillary need his charm as arthur was talking about? >> to draw money, right. a big money fund-raiser. whether or not he will rename himself the first husband, i feel that is unctuous and fake. >> unctuous. that was on the s.a.t. >> whatever. can he help himself? that i think is a great question for julie too. can he help himself right? he is already knocking the campaign off message saying the clinton foundation has been the most transparent ever when we have secret

"mad money" starts now. high i'm cramer. welcome to "mad money" and cray mayor ka. i am trying to make you money. my job is to teach and educate you. call me at 1-800-743-cnbc or tweet me jath jimcramer >>> are too many people betting against this market? it sure felt that way today. nasdaq, .68%. most nonprofessionals don't necessarily understand all the ways that stock can go higher. sure, sure, they understand when a company reports sales and urge that the analysts will raise their earnings and boost their ratings. incites more buying and less selling and a higher price. this he understand if the company gets broken up into little pieces like sarah lee, fortune brands, conico. they are much easier to understand than unfocused con glam mer ats. much easier to buy than for ceos to manage. they get when an activist comes calling with walgreen's or darden. board room shakeups that produce terrific results for everybody. pressure can be a good thing. do you know what can propel a stock higher than you haven't thought of? how about panicking short sellers who bet again

i was never mad over here.didn't feel that i was really ready to be over here. >> then why did you get taken off the unit? >> i battered somebody. >> why did you batter him? >> i heard some stuff that he did about me so i just took my anger out at that time. >> you got to earn it. you can't be out in gp acting a fool and expect to come over to our program because it's not going to happen. if we bring you back over here, are you going to batter somebody else on our unit? >> well, you might see me trying to make an excuse, but i don't have any problems with nobody over here. and that's my word. >> okay. >> it's a real good group of guys that we've got over there. working on team-building right now and it's coming along nice. >> it doesn't matter whether you get on this unit or not, eventually you'll have to learn how to handle your anger without fighting. whether it's here or in 14, go wherever. and once you do that, it's not going to matter what unit you're in and you'll be where you need to be. >> by midafterno

. >> cowan: mad about helen.vaginal cream can help it provides estrogens to help rebuild vaginal tissue and make intercourse more comfortable. premarin vaginal cream treats vaginal changes due to menopause and moderate-to-severe painful intercourse caused by these changes. don't use it if you've had unusual bleeding breast or uterine cancer blood clots, liver problems, stroke or heart attack, are allergic to any of its ingredients or think you're pregnant. side effects may include headache pelvic pain, breast pain vaginal bleeding and vaginitis. estrogens may increase your chances of getting cancer of the uterus, strokes, blood clots or dementia so use it for the shortest time based on goals and risks. estrogen should not be used to prevent heart disease heart attack, stroke or dementia. ask your doctor about premarin vaginal cream. >> good evening, in south vietnam today a ghastly chapter was added to the pathos of war that gripped that country the past 30 yearsa huge c5 air force cargo plane carrying 243 south