get in the car, mammy. faster, ambrose. faster. they're headed for town. the brats. oh, if only i had a big stick. [ siren wailing ] [ horn honking ] dammit! excuse me, mammy. no, stay in the car. right. oh, no. [ belching ] once more into the breach. are you sure you don't want another one? no. for christmas? thanks, siobhan. i wouldn't want to be caught drunk in charge of a nativity play. can i have you out of the car, mr. fahey? mmm? come along. get your hands off me. there's children watching. it's all right, children. santa's just tired. i am not. lay off. i'm arresting you under section 49 of the road traffic act. [ students chanting ] ambrose is arresting santa. it can't be helped, i suppose. they have the flu. oh, i'll have plenty of company for the dinner. don't worry. have you changed your mind? i think i'd better have a black coffee. i'm in worse shape than i imagined. yeah, you too. bye-bye. assumpta? assumpta? can i have a coffee? have you got presents? yeah. have you got one for your dad? my dad's in prison. you have to put one under the tree to show hi

mammy. when i was breast feeding him, if i so much as looked at a cabbage, he had the most terrible wind. mammy. no, i think you should bring her a nice piece of poached fish. haddock if you have it. another mega night, donal, huh? donal? ambrose, where are you? ah, it's freezing. it's 2 a.m. nobody's gonna come here tonight. [ thumping ] put out the light, father, someone's coming. got him. torch. let's have a look at you. oh, no. oh, god. i might have guessed. holmes and watson. or is it laurel and hardy? i'm so sorry, father macanally. we were looking for the hoaxer. lying in wait. lying in wait were you? well, i've had three separate phone calls. that there was lights flashing, that there were people walking around, that there was a son et lumiere going on in the chapel at ballykissangel. and no sign of a curate or a gard to investigate. so... it wasn't going to be a very successful ambush, was it? no, possibly not. we were flashing the lights as a signal. it gets surprisingly lonely in