a couple of things i might mention, two things that write about marriage, one is manning gottman. >> i think i have a book. >> he did a lot of research at the university of washington, where i am from in seattle. he talks about, they said , they can predict with 92% accuracy which couples will stay together or not, observing for >> after all the work they have done in their lab, after five or 10 minutes. he talks about the four horsemen of marriage, criticism , contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling . he says, any of those will kill a marriage and talks about how to overcome them. >> gutman started this professionally, but you and i have seen, we may also be able to guess just from the way-- sometimes we do that. was the other person wanted to mention? >> gary smalley, a christian author. he has been doing this stuff for years and years. the ready to wed book is a book i often give couples, i gave it to my nephew when he got married two weeks ago. he has been doing christian marriage for years. he also does ongoing formation. both john gottman and gary smalley have websites, one i