when i was his age, i was off on me own, cycling to margate. he's only 7. donkeys on the beach, girls in their summer frocks. and there was this pickpocket on the pier, and they caught him and beat him to a pulp. anyway, he's not 7, he's 12, isn't he? no, that's jake. you see, as kids grow up, they just want to bugger off. you love them just the same, but they don't-- they don't really love you back. the older they get, the more it turns into one-way traffic. just the way it is. blimey. where'd that come from? mum, you know your bottles of perfume? yes, i know my bottles of perfume. well, there might have been an accident involving them. oh. that's all right. you'll be growing up soon, only want to do this with girls. girls? that's disgusting! yeah. that's my boy. off you go. don't go near the mess. i'll clear it up later. what are you doing? it's an international. oh, no. no tv. it's family sunday. for the kids, yeah, but it doesn't apply to the adults, does it? well, yes it does, because if you watch that, it undermines our whole ban. but england are play