>> that's right, , marty is mary ginsburg of course, yeah. so when i first came to harvard and i decided to teach a different course than i had thought before, i began a course on women work and family. and i went around the room. it was a very, very small class, and i asked my students what they wanted, and one of the students in the class, you know, this is why i love my students so much is, she came out with a statement that i think that if i fought hard and hard i probably would not of even able to sas beautifully. she said i want a spouse who wants what i want. and in some sense what she was saying was you can learn to negotiate with your boss, with your manager, with your supervisor, you could learn to walk into h.r. and say this is what i deserve, but dammit, do it first with the person you're going to share a family with, just to make clear that that person wants what you want. i somehow get a sense, a sense, that, and maybe a sense that because i live as many of us do in her own little bubble, and that college-educated men, and i wou