it's sort sublinal language that we all understand. >> pelley: mary shea learned the language of loss when her son was killed. it's a language that cannot be translated, and so she and her husband, bill, felt they could no longer be understood. >> bill shea: you're kind of cast adrift and you're sort of floating nowhere. and you don't know where to go or what to do. and there they were. understanding better than we understood, the support that we needed. shea's attend every year ise of the east bay area-- "blue stars," with sons and daughters who served iliry. l nation prays for your peace. >> pelley: later, gold star parents and counselors lead conversations for smaller groups, like single parents and siblings. it's all invitation only, no and i was in the bedroom and then i heard mary's voice. "bill, come here, right now. come here, come here. come here." and i went out there and, and soon as we saw them, we knew what was-- what we were facing. >> pelley: saw who? th the, there's a chaplainiers. others. was it two other soldiers who were there to tell us? >> pelley: tim grew up in n

it's sort of a subliminal language that we all understand. >> pelley: mary shea learned the language of loss when her son was killed. it's a language that cannot be translated, and so she and her husband, bill, felt they could no longer be understood. >> bill shea: you're kind of cast adrift and you're sort of floating nowhere. or what to do. and there they were. understanding better than we understood, the support that we needed. >> pelley: the gathering the shea's attend every year is organized by women who call themselves the "blue star" moms of the east bay area-- "blue stars," with sons and daughters who served in the military. about 200 of california's gold stars attend this honor and remembrance event, which bs with a reception. the next morning, each of the fallen receives a prayer. >> a grateful nation acknowledges your sacrifice and prays for your peace. >> pelley: later, gold star parents and counselors lead conversations for smaller groups, like single parents and siblings. it's all invitation only, no press. the only pictures we have are from the marines' memorial part of