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that's what this myth where matterhorn was a manuscript was just me about a year after i got back. i was at oxford and it was 84 pages which was smaller so it was only 1700 american pages. you finished that and i came back and i looked at it, oh, dear, this is awful and you got to get serious. it isn't something you just do and you got to learn craft, how to develop plot and characters and went at it again and then finally got a first draft in matterhorn and finished in 1977. and i tried to sell it then and no one would read it. i couldn't get anybody to read it. it was never rejected. they just rejected my query letter so i guess i can't write query letters but i can write novels. no one is interested in this war, and look, literature -- all art has a very difficult marriage with commerce. we don't pay the rent unless some publisher makes the decision that he can sell the book and make a profit out of it. that's just a fact. i don't have a problem with that. but it's a difficult issue. i mean, you can write all the literature you want but you're not going to ever be able to get pa

the bronze star, two navy commendation medals for valor, ten purple hearts and he's an author of "matterhornont to talk about "what it's like to go to war" and given to every member of congress and his idea to help soldiers overcome what he calls the crack cocaine of all excitement highs, and the crack cocaine lows that come later. >> everybody knows that war is hell and so that's what we talk about that. that's okay. no one wants to cop to the fact there's a part of it that's terribly exciting. look at movies we look at. nothing but filled with violence. it appeals to us. and in some ways, it is like why are we the top animal on the planet? not because we're nice. there's a fierce part of it. one of the things i wanted to do in the book is say recognize this. you can't control it unless you see it. war, part of war is extremely exciting. i mean, it's life and death. it's on the edge. you can't find anything higher than that. but like crack cocaine, the costs are enormous. and i would never want to pay the costs again. if i don't have to. but to deny, tell a kid drugs aren't fun, he knows yo