tuck this in ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, the new movie, "the lincoln layer" starring matthew mcconaugheying me think of a bailiff saying -- [ impersonates mcconaughey ] "all rise, all rise, all rise." [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, guy at the office who says "have fun in there" whenever i enter the bathroom, for making me wonder what exactly you do when you go to the bathroom. "have fun in there, guy." [ as donald trump ] "beautiful marble urinals, gorgeous flushers." [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, passive aggression -- i guess. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] whatever. ♪ thank you, the consumer product safety commission, for recalling 169,000 pogo sticks due to a potential risk of injury. [ light laughter ] i don't know if you know this, but the only thing that makes pogo sticks fun is the potential risk of injury. [ laughter ] [ as donald trump ] "beautiful brass pogo sticks, match with any marble columns in your house." ♪ thank you, person who takes forever at the starbucks sugar station. hey, madame curie, this ain't some chemistry lab. i've got a life to live. so, stir in the sugar and l