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maxx life. t.j.maxx. try to read me like a book. but i leave em all shook.learning who they are as a person first. tyson any'tizers and crispy strips. [ sound of sports game ] you help fuel greatness. you'll just have to make the ultimate game day sacrifice... and be eaten. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is the author of "how to weep in public," which is available now on amazon. making her "tonight show" debut, please welcome jacqueline novak. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> "the tonight show!" "the tonight show!" this is no joke, guys, i did it. [ cheers and applause ] hi. okay, guys, are you ready? i only have a few minutes and it's very important what i have to say, to me. um -- i want to feel you though. you know what i mean? i want to feel you. [ cheers ] yes, okay. okay, but -- yes, thank you. so i want to talk to you guys about french fries for a few minutes. [ light laughter ] and i humbly request that you sort of settle into the topic, because it will be filling the rest of my time here. [ light laughter ] so, i love fries. okay? [ c

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maxx life. t.j.maxx.highest rated bourbon. their words, not ours. make history. ( ♪ ) ♪ >>> what happened to the rest. >> funny story, our insurance doesn't cover what it used to so i got half the drugs for twice the price. >> what are we supposed to do? >> tradesies, i will trade you five of my statins for five of your n at eye inflammatory and i'll sweeten the pot by throwing in a couple blood pressures. >> did you get the pain pill for my bad knee. >> couldn't be the candy man without the sunshine, babe. >> there it is. [ cheers and applause ] it's the real house. still there. when you walk on to the set, was that an emotional experience, seeing that set for the first time? in so long? >> well i've looked for the words and can't find it. it's weirder than deja vu' like we took a two week break and came back but now so much older. >> it was like no time like a worm hole. >> jimmy: been 20 years, right. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: you ran for president during that time. >> yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:

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maxx life. t.j.maxx. "when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them."♪ ever amazing prices. homegoods. go finding. even if no one in your home smokes, secondhand smoke can be closer than you think. secondhand smoke from a neighbor's apartment can enter your home through air vents, through light fixtures and even through cracks in the walls and the floors. secondhand smoke is toxic. especially to children. protect your family. visit tobaccofreeca.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a talented actress who you know from films like "why him," and "everybody wants some." now you can see her in the new movie, "flower" which is playing in select cities nationwide this friday. everyone, please welcome zoey deutch! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. welcome! >> oh, my gosh! >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. >> i am so excited to be here. and i know everybody says that to you, but i'm more excited. >> jimmy: no, i'm excited. i'm a giant fan of you. actually, i'm also a very big fan of your parents. your

maxx life. t.j.maxx. take a deeeep breath in... and... exhale... aflac!. liberate your spine... aflac! and reach, toes blossoming... not that great at yoga ya but when i slipped a disc, he paid my claim in just one day. so he had your back? yup in just one day, we process, approve and pay. one day pay. only from aflac ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: lionel richie is here. he's one of the judges on "american idol" which airs sunday and monday nights here on abc. it was a big hit last night. >> it's a big hit last night. i loved it. >> jimmy: we're all very excited, actually. we really wanted a big hit and now we have a big hit. so this is great. >> well, the part that made me so happy is i heard my kids downstairs screaming. they were interacting with oh, my god, you didn't get rid of that. yes, you did. >> jimmy: if your kids watch you this know you've got something special. >> because they -- it takes everything to get them interested in something. >> jimmy: so let's look at a clip from last night. because i have some questions about this. katy perry got out there a

maxx life. t.j.maxx. ♪ we get so busy, day to day. we don't get the chance to connect. would just be the biggest gift that i could give her. director: lets make that happen. she's gonna be so excited. ♪ introducing the suv equipped to make your first-ever happen. the first-ever ford ecosport is here. back in a lineiup...for a little while. k-d was ejected in the 2ndq.. it went downhill after that, the warriors lose at home -- to the milwaukee bucks. also late thursday night -- a car was fished out of a pond behind rancho arroyo park in fremont. a witness says she saw the car crash... and someone swim away. at this point... police do not believe there )s anyone in the ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. i am very excited about this. it is time once again for "popsicle schtick." ♪ >> seth: for those of you who don't know, this is a bit where my writers, what they do is they come up with terrible jokes and then they try to save those terrible jokes with what they call kick-ass graphics. let's see if they succeeded. all right. first joke,

maxx life.but playing for team usa has been a second chance to represent my country. i get to show my children and the world that, yeah, i might have been knocked down, but i'm up, and i'm honored to be able to represent the flag. comcast is grateful to all who have served our country, and we're proud to bring the 2018 olympic and paralympic winter games home to everyone. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest stars in "pacific rim uprising" which hits theaters and imax this friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome scott eastwood! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ scott eastwood! nice to see you again, buddy! welcome back to the show! >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: this is a very, very, very manly show. we have you and blake. look, you're on the cover of "men's journal," and look at this -- yeah. [ cheers and applause ] again, i got the back cover, and dude, i read this article, and i go, "oh, i'm not a man at all." i'm not a man. dude, you things that i'd never heard

maxx life. t.j.maxx. you'll always save on something for every you.ng at her man. you can't judge a daughter by looking at the mother. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover. taking one look. try to read me like a book but i leave 'em all shook 'cuz you can't judge a book by its cover. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover [x2] what does life look like during your period? it's up to you, with tampax pearl. you get ultimate protection on your heaviest days and smooth removal for your lightest. tampax pearl and pearl active. for up-to 100% leak-free work outs. cut! yeah, that was the one, right? hey jon, did you eat half of my bagel? speaking of half, if you switch to h&r block this year, you'll pay half what you paid the other guy last year. so, you did. switch to h&r block and pay half of what you paid your other guy. h&r block. ...looking at getting an amazing iphone 8?i was just... they have an all glass design, advanced cameras, a11 bionic chip. uh.. i'm going to... yeah, now you're going to give your second phone to your new frien

maxx life.( marty ) here's a live look at the embarcadero this morning. toss to weather. (dave)widely scattered showers are forecast today, mainly during the morning, along with continued cool temperatures. dry weather is expected to return on monday and continue through the end of the week. a warming trend is forecast through thursday as high pressure builds near the west coast. ( marty ) ( marty ) ( marty ) ( marty ) ( marty ) in the east bay, the alameda county sheriff's office is asking for the public's help to identify suspects in a laptop robbery that was caught on camera. kron 4's gabe slate shows us the footage . this woman is this woman is running with a laptop she just stole from a someone sitting in a starbucks cafe a snatch and grab caught on camera. these type of robberies have been increasing in the bay area and typically the robber gets away with the laptop or phone they grabbed but not this time.sound from - sergeant ray kelly - alameda county sheriff's office"good for her gettin

maxx life. t.j.maxx. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hash tags hash tags [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we do this thing every week where i send out a a hash tag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so since st. patrick's day is this weekend, i sent out a hash tag called "my drunk story." [ light laughter ] and i ask you guys to send us your funny or embarrassing stories about overdoing it. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so thank you for playing. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for playing our game. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite "my drunk story" tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @ellenmlaurie. she says, "one night i got so drunk at the bar that i stole a a girl's birthday crown off her head, went to another bar and made everyone there buy me birthday drinks." [ cheers and applause ] "it's my ssshpecial day." >> steve: it's my birthday. >> jimmy: this one is from a.h. skidmore. he says, "one morning my roommate found me passe

maxx life. t.j.maxx. >>> welcome back. march madness is coming facebook san jose next year.come to sap center instead of seattle because the arena there will undergo a two year renovation project starting later this year. sap center was scheduled to host the ncaa tournament in 2021. but san jose will now swap with seattle. the south bay hosted the west regional games last march. >>> in sports, the injury ridden warriors are back in action tonight in phoenix. golden state faces the suns at talking stick resort arena. tip off is at 7:00. >> last night march madness reached a new level and a lot of brackets were broken, too. mike shumann has the details in this modern's sports. >>> good morning. the men's ncaa tournament has never had a 16th seed beat a number one seed, especially the top seed. 0 for 135 in this matchup until last night. umbc or university of maryland daumt county, the 16th seed, upset the top seed, virginia. a wild made to for the umbc bench. tied at the half, the retrievers just ran away with it in the second half. lyles, 23 of his 28 in the final 20 minutes.

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maxx life.n finale of the show just aired tonight. everyone please welcome chris sullivan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: chris sullivan! looking good! looking good! >> thanks, man. thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: looking good, my friend. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. >> thanks so much. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. i appreciate this. before we start the interview, i want to talk about a little controversy here. >> yeah, yeah, let's get it out. >> jimmy: this is involving first of all, this is not too shabby. i love this. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: but this is involving "people's" sexiest man alive. >> yeah, going strong 2017. these are the men of "this is us." [ audience ohs ] now don't get me wrong, those are three sexy men. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and on top of that, incredible actors, and on top of that, incredible guys. but -- 2018 is going to be my year. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers ] this is going to be your

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maxx life. t.j.maxx. "when better chickens are hatched, we will hatch them."eep it real. keep it tyson. feel the power of thenew power...smax. ...to fight back theraflu's powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms... fast. so you can play on. theraflu expressmax. new power. (cat 2) hey, what's that? (cat 1) whoa, gravy! (cat 2) you mean extra gravy! (cat 1) what?! (cat 2) that's friskies extra gravy-chunky! (cat 1) chunky gravy purr-adise! (cat 2) purr-adise? really? (vo) feed their fantasy. friskies. coming at you with my brand-new vlog. just making some ice in my freezer here. so check back for that follow-up vid. this is my cashew guy bruno. holler at 'em, brun. kicking it live and direct here at the fountain. should i go habanero or maui onion? should i buy a chinchilla? comment below. did i mention i save people $620 for switching? chinchilla update -- got that chinchilla after all. say what up, rocco. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an internationally renowned stand-up comic, as well as the host of "the jim jefferies s

maxx life. t.j.maxx. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> seth: welcome back.ody. [ cheers and applause ] this week's drummer is a founding member of a new york city post-hardcode legends "quicksand," whose new album "interiors" is available everywhere now. alan cage, everybody! thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an emmy award-winning actor, you know, from hit tv series such as "boston legal" and "the practice." he is currently starring on nbc's "the blacklist," now in its fifth season. let's take a look. >> oh, for god's sake. your package was stolen, willy. but not by momo marinello. i'm afraid your first instinct was correct. anthony took it in an extremely misguided effort to finance personal procedure. he'd rather not discuss except amongst friends. what matters is, now that you know the truth, you can call off whatever search you're conducting. anthony will pay you back in full with interest. no harm, no foul. >> no harm. [ door creaks ] >> oh, willy. you certainly work fast. >> seth: please welcome back t

maxx life. t.j.maxx. man:the world made war,rry. my parents made love. did mom give me too much freedom? did dad make me lust for too great an adventure? my scars and bruises tell their own story. so here's to you, mom and dad. freedom and adventure. depend silhouette active fit briefs, feature a thin design for complete comfort. they say "move it or lose it" and at my age, i'm moving more than ever. because getting older is inevitable. but feeling older? that's something i control. get a coupon at depend.com if your moderate to severe ulor crohn's symptoms are holding you back, and your current treatment hasn't worked well enough, it may be time for a change. ask your doctor about entyvio, the only biologic developed and approved just for uc and crohn's. entyvio works at the site of inflammation in the gi tract and is clinically proven to help many patients achieve both symptom relief and remission. infusion and serious allergic reactions can happen during or after treatment. entyvio may increase risk of infection, which can be serious. pml, a rare, ser

maxx life. t.j.maxx. ♪ ♪ (vo) you can pass down a subaru forester., a subaru. (avo) get 0% apr financing on all new 2018 subaru forester models. now through april 2nd. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian you can see regularly at the comedy cellar here in new york. please welcome to the show joyelle nicole johnson, everyone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! hi, guys. how are you doing? [ cheers and applause ] oh, my -- clap it up for me. i'm in love -- [ cheers ] with myself. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] oh my god, i'm so happy. i -- like, i love all my shortcomings and everything like that. like, i'm petty as hell. [ laughter ] this how petty i am. me and my roommate are fighting right now. and when i left the house i took the amazon firestick remote with me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm rude. she's on the last episode of "the handmaid's tale." she is pissed. [ laughter ] you will not know offred's fate until this fight is over. [ light laughter ] i'm also angry, that's fine. i'm a black female in america ove

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maxx life.io, junto a su hija luce, tuvo otros tres hijos y seis nietos. se esforzÓ por popular zar la ciencia. en 2014 su vida llevada al cine en la cinta "la teorÍa de todo" el propio stephen hawking participÓ en la pelÍcula. constantemente stephen hawking expresaba el peligro por la humanidad. stephen hawking dijo que los conflictos aumentarÁn en el futuro y los paises deben tener cuidados y buscar salidas pacÍficas, naciÓ el 8 de enero de 1942, en el 300 aniversario de galileo galoley. satcha: una gran perdida para la humanidad. vamos con carolina sarasa. carolina: hola cÓmo estÁn, aquÍ en la "ediciÓn digital" mucha muchÍsima informaciÓn, imÁgenes de seis jovencitos que le estaban dando una gran pelea. hacen un llamado a los padres que estÉn pendientes de sus hijos. las respuestas han provocado angustia. hoy con javier olivares a las 11:00- 12:00 centro. satcha: ¿cÓmo encontrar un balance? sobre todo para los adolescentes. estaremos pendientes para apoyarlos, gracias carolina sarasa. vamos a