why a gunman walked into a medical buildi captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access groupgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪ bender: "free beer"?! (panting) free beer. free beer. free beer. free beer. free beer-beer-beer-beer-beer- beer-beer-beer-beer-beer! free...! (birds squawk) (grunts) (people scream) (grunts) hello. i'm here for the free beer. you got it. right after these 800 people get it. beer, beer-beer, beer-beer. ("stars and stripes forever" plays) beer? ah... yeah! (cheers, applause) thank you, headless clone of agnew. my fellow earthicans, i'm proud to announce i'm running for reelection as president of earth, the greatest planet in the world. (cheering) is everyone enjoying their free beer? (cheering)

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioned by mediaccess group at wgbh access.wgbh.org building what's being called weapons of mass destruction. a warning for students at s jose state after a man comms what police call -- sexual battery on two women. the singers and musicians he walked the red carpet. we'lo live to los angeles with a at what's going on right not the super bowl of music --- grammys. kpix 5 news is next. --- charged with building weapons of mass destruction. >>> an explosive discovery during a search for marijuana. a college kid from the bay area, charged with building weapon of mass destruction. good evening. a collegud

merry christmas captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orge, dude, just let me finish my story. describing an episode of "law & order" in full detail is not a story. no, it's so good, all right, okay. first of all, i think i could be a really good lawyer. i'm, like, better than sam waterston, i'll tell you that much. oh, you want to be a lawyer? don't you think you should know how to read or write? objection, hearsay. that's lawyer talk. that's the kind of stuff you have to do. that serial killer killed another woman last night. yeah, it says here he's targeting young, attractive blondes. okay, that's it. i'm not closing the bar by myself anymore. why? i don't really think you have anything to worry about. yeah. i fit the description. no, no, young, attractive-- first of all, you're too big, dee, you're like a--

, watch is stupid movies and play video captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org - [screaming] and that is what we call the hammer tire! the sledgehammer does not come with your demamp camp: working out with tires dvd purchase. blake, you get that? - god damn it, adam. yes. we got it. - hey, blake, don't talk to me like that. - ders, did we get that? that argument for the behind-the-scenes camera? - oh, no, no, no, this camera's not behind-the-scenes footage, okay? this is my mtv true life: i'm in a menage a braj. - heh, heh, menage a braj. let's focus, all right? - all right, yep. - we're missing some exercises here. - let me check the list. - pffft. - we got the tire hammer. we got tire jump. - tire wiggle. - yep. - tire waggle. - got it. - the tire flip lift! - yes. - that's right. - good call, good call. - blake, you getting this? - oh, i'm getting it, baby. we got it. - this next exercise, your bis might turn into tris, while your tris might turn into god knows what. are you ready? yeah. [screaming] [snap] all: oh! - my shoulders! [scr

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. awnlor marilynne roach. she has a new book on the salem witch trials and her search forel real killer. [laughter] billion we get started, if your -- before we get started, if your school is currently looking for a chemistry teacher, i want to you call us. [laughter] i got a guy here. boston university. he seems smart begun could have shaved. [laughter] chemistry major looking for a job teaching chemistry. i'm like how can you not get a job teaching chemistry. if you need a chemistry teacher contact us and i will finally get this (bleep) kid out of his parents' house. that's what i'm going to do. leave your name. that's what we're doing. [cheers and applause] yes, healing america! [laughter] nothing, huh? of course, even now in this country while we've mostly ruled out burning people like

get reading, nation captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedy central's world news headquarters in new new york, ts is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight author steve brill, the follow-up to the smash hit article tonight we discuss it more. the top stories goes out to all the fellows in the house. [ laughter ] have you gentlemen, for the past 50-75 years or so felt something breathing down your neck? a presence waiting to pounce on what was once yours. you ain't dreaming, buddy, they are called women. [laughter] and they are braking down barriers left and right. they are the subject of tonight's segment jon steu -- [cheers and applause] if i may -- the placement of the comma is actually -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] there's no question the past few months there's been a series of wonderful firsts for women. >> historic confirmation. janet yellin will become the first female chair of federal reser

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> chrisnds. the results are in so everyone can relax. juicy j has finally announced the winner of the $50,000 juicy j twerk scholarship on world star hip-hop. >> read the rules! after shaking your ass, you're gonna get some money. always about shaking your ass. >> chris: the ironic thing is she that she didn't actually twerk, he just

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org mac: howback our energy costs when you're filling this generator with gasoline? dennis: yeah, gross. since when did you start running the bar on a gas generator? about a week ago. i've been doing it for about a week. why would you do that? well, because, you know, electricity's so expensive, man. so i figured let's get a generator and, you know, run the bar on it. are you kidding me? gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity. and you know what, charlie? you shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay? you're not the decision-making type. as the brains of this organization, i should've made this decision. wait, wait, i'm sorry. since when did you become the brains? uh, i'm sorry. i've always been the brains. what, what are you talking about? i thought i was the brains.

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephenthat's it for the report, everybod >> from day -- comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a program tonight! tonight on the program richard cordray he is the head of brand new u.s. consumer finance protection bureau. he is on the program tonight. [cheers and applause] only a "the daily show" crowd cheers equally as vociferously and enthusiastically for legalized marijuana and -- and -- the head of u.s. consumer finance protection bureau. only here do you get that. [cheers and applause] as we do

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybod from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: hi, welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] what a program we have for you in this 2014. my name is stewart. my guest tonight from "inside llewyn davis" oscar isaac is here. he plays llewyn davis. a talented man. we're back. recovering from the holidays tsms a new start for us. no more animosity, no more war on christmas. we'll ease into the new year and talk about things innocuous. we're not going to talk about politics or religion because these are hot button topics so -- [laughter] [laughter] hey, some weather, huh snrks. >> i have never experienced cold like this in my life. >> jon: i'll say. it is cold outside. i'll tell you this morning his to put my hand on a witch's teat to keep them warm. that's actually the witch's teat was warmer than -- whi

we'll be right back. fÑ,x,pnpnp captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. we have a show -- tonight my guest roger ross williams. he's got his documentary "god loves uganda." he will be on the program tonight. i apologized i'm a little parched. i apologize i just have my water flown in every morning because i'm very particular about my water. [ laughter ] i have it flown in every -- ahhhh. every morning they fly it in from west virginia, my water and i -- [laughter] , filtered down from the mountains

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> chriss 11:59. this happened on gawker today. this is an actual graphic shown during eve's golden globe's red carpet broadcast. it says "fun fact: michael j. fox was diagnosed with parkinson's in 1991." (audience reacts) (laughter) i feel like michael j. fox might disagree that definition of fun. e had been throwing out fun facts throughout the entire show. probably the definition of fun is "amy adams has been on the red carpet 57 times. does her red carpet match the drapes?" stuff like that. i don't know.

(2(áááááááá captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgave a good reason for getting us out of bed this early, jerk. i got a great reason for getting you out of bed. this bar is hemorrhaging money. you gotta spend money to make money: economics 101, dude. you're bleeding us to death, especially with that company credit card you got. that is for business expenses, frank. everything on there is a business expense. who spent $500 for laser hair removal? right over here, slick. don't want to have hair down there.

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> fromnews headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to "the daily show" my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] >> jon: we have made a show for you tonight by hand. our guest tonight from the lifetime show "under the gunn" one of our favorites, mr. tim gunn will be joining us a little bit later. [cheers and applause] first like a car unable to move forward on its way to fort lee, new jersey, we -- [laughter] -- as a nation remain stuck in the news traffic jam that

get reading, nation captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org chris: it's 11:59 and 59 seconds, and this huge breaking news happening but we can't stop talking about the razzies. the world has reacted and only what can be described as whelmed. [laughter] of course i'm referring to the "razzie" nominees which were announced today on the razzie website.

. "$ 7 rjrj,x captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybod

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-xr'x8 captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> chris: it's 11:59. this happened on gawker today. this is an actual graphic shown during eve's golden globe's red carpet broadcast. it says "fun fact: michael j. fox was diagnosed with parkinson's in 1991." (audience reacts)

get reading, nation captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgm comedy central's world news headquarters in new new york, ts is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause]

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org dennis: what do i think my greatest strength as a server is? what the hell is this, frank? employee evaluation. this bar is a business, and we're going to start acting like one. i do not want to start acting like a business because that sounds boring as (bleep). yeah, that sounds terrible. plus, this thing's ten pages long. you know what? i'm not going to fill it out. well, that's going to affect your rank. - what rank? - i put us all on a ranking system so you kids would care about your jobs. are we ranked now? - yes, we are. - what's my rank? second, after me. - okay. - wait. what's my rank? you're third. what?! why am i third?! too volatile. that is bull(bleep), frank! okay, okay. yeah, yeah. what am i? - you're fifth. - fifth? that's last. why in the hell would i be last? too much lip and very sassy. sassy? that doesn't make sense.

get reading, nation captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgbrave - jason, i really like your look. you had it poppin' tonight. - i totally disagree. because i love your look. you're a star. [applause] believe in your dreams. thank you. - jason, have you ever put out a cigar on gilbert gottfried's neck? because i have, and his screams were the worst thing i'd ever heard. until tonight. congratulations, you're a disgrace. [crowd boos] - ♪ shoo-bee-doo-bee, shoo-bee-doo-bee-doobee ♪

you, good anton onaardvark lopez garci captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight the great scarlett johansson is going to join us a little bit later. [cheers and applause] but first, as you know, there's a bit of divide in this country. income inequality. the left thinks it's unfair because of disadvantages built in for the less after few lent. the right thinks it's unfair because those differences are big enough. >> the makers make it. the government takes it from them and this give it to the takers. >> a nation of takers. >> well-fair cheats. >> freeloaders. the moocher class out there. >> sub sid sized freeloaders who would rather watch jerry springer on a couch. >> 97% of them own a refrigerator. >> there's a lot of them that want to suck on the teat of the state? you know that moocher class that comes

you, good anton onaardvark lopez garci captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> from comedy

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ,,,,,,,,,, this mayun, you will learn to walk. again. you'll curse the fact that something you mastered as a 1-year old is now so difficult. but you will take that first step. and you will never stop moving forward. at citi, we believe in everyone's potential, which is why citi and rico are giving back to paralympic sports programs hales corners, wisconsin. nice pass by alyson dudek. can she hang on to that spot? and she does! [ male announcer ] with the u-verse wireless receiver, your tv goes where you take it, allowing inspiration to follow. ♪ [ dad ] looks pretty good, right? [ girl ] yeah. [ male announcer ] add a u-verse wireless receiver today. ♪ the >>> will you please exchange rings. >> there is eloping and then what happened at the grammys. a behind-the-scenes look at what it took to pull off tonight's big surprise. >> first, it is all about the after parties. betty is at the grammy parties, betty? >> reporter: right now, the celebration is going on let's listen at tonight's first performers. th

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org from comedydquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've a show for you tonight that we baked from scratch. former secretary of defense robert gates is joining us. he has a new book out called "duty. ". [laughter] it's actually the title "duty." [laughter] actually a misnomer it's quite

you, good anton onaardvark lopez garcici captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ tomorrow you shuck the cane ♪ ♪ your little fingers bloody ♪ prepare to be whipped - [whispering] she's asleep. [laptop rings] [baby fusses] - [loudly] hey, it's mommy! i'm in beijing! - shh. liddy just went to sleep. - well, wake here up, jack. she needs to hear her mommy's voice.

good nigh captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgst. >> this clip from south beach blew up on world star hip-hop amassing a 1 million views in 24 hours, in the clip our hero bernice trying to repossess a car but having a little bit of trouble. let's tak

see you on captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org this happened on animal planet.com today, are you ready for some fuzzballs! (laughter) that's right, guys, there sunday is upcoming puppy bowl 10 marks the biggest spectacle, the puppies those are penguin cheer lead ares. what are those? i

"american mirror" ññññ'ñpr >> stephen: captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access groupgbh access.wgbh.org charlie: would you describe this piece as more savory or succulent? it's definitely way too overcooked to be succulent. but it's still pretty delicious. - it's still savory, right? - mm-hmm. now, what if we soaked it in beer? do you think that would help it, like, regain its succulence? - like a beer rub? - mm-hmm. that's actually really smart. mac, grab us some beers. bite my bird. what are you eating? oh, dude, dee and i cooked up a great steak. frank's got, like, this whole fridge full of these delicious meats that i've been stealing, and... do you guys want to try some of this? someone who sweats as much as you should not work with food. charlie, you son of a bitch. i told you to stay away from my meat. spit it out. come on, man. spit it, spit it now, now! you too, spit. - come on. - right there.

see you on captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org hey, liz, package for you. - my trio of popcorns! ha-ha! ah-- simon? - sorry, liz. i had no other way into the building, and i lost all my contacts after i dropped my cell phone into the penguin exhibit.

the book is "american mirror" >> stephen: captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> chris: it's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this happened on instagram today! >> just when you thought "gangnam style" was dead, buried, gone and happily forgotten, the hippest man on the planet brought it back to life. that's right. that's dancing mitt romney spasmodically skipping his way through our generation's macarena. clearly this is not gangnam style. i'm not sure what it was. there was a little sideways -- it was like he came out of a possession or something. >> comedians, se

captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> the images of the vice duesident trending> it's snowing again. anyone ready for spring? we'll tell you what the next few hours will look like and what you can expect out of your morning commute. we're tracking more winter weather. yello alert for snow. >> president obama said he's going to put his powers to work for the american people whether the congress likes it or not. >> it is the best part of any deployment, the reunion, a mother who had to serve in afghanistan surprises her daughter in alexandria. i'm dave owens and i'll have that heart-warming story. >> and a favorite '80s band is finally calling it quits. >>> good evening, derek mcginty is at the capitol tonight joining us with a breakdown of the president's state of the union address in a few minutes. first, the southeast and mid- atlantic are in the grips of another major storm. we're getting some snow here but that's nothing compared to the beating the south are getting right now. a 20-minute trip to atlanta took three hours, and in some cases, longer. the roads a

good nigh captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. pbs anchor hari sreenivasen is join us. i want to thank the audience for coming out on what say truly a god forsaken evening with this global warming hoax proving weather. every nation has leaders that fail to live up to the integrity of their office. whether it's greed, incompetence or an insatiable need to smoke crack. to be fair this is before mayor rob ford sought help. this is from two nights ago in toronto. >> [speaking

good nigh captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.orgom comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. awnlor marilynne roach. she has a new book on the salem witch trials and her search forel real killer. [laughter] billion we get started, if your -- before we get started, if your school is currently looking for a chemistry teacher, i want to you call us.

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org dee: well, what's wrong with sleeves? mac: nothing's wrong with sleeves. i cut them off sometimes because it looks tough. - dennis: doesn't look tough. - dee: no, it doesn't. whoa, whoa. what's that bum doing? i hope he's peeing. i don't think that's what he's doing, dude. why is he smiling at me? oh... my... god.

hqrrrdx captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybod mac: 6:58, 6:59, seven minutes. keep going, buddy. i'm working on the chicken parts situation here. forget the chicken parts. charlie is about to shatter the world record for holding his breath. we are going to be world famous after this. - charlie, how you doing? - i got to breathe. no, charlie, don't breathe. the buns are going to burn. mac: come on!

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org e keeputting more on, and it's not showing up at all. well, then i guess cocaine is weightless, all right. i'm gonna file that up here, actually. what-- what are you doing? cleaning my hands off. what are you? a cat? - use a towel. - my mouth's right here.

good nigh captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org even doing in that crawl space, charlie? well, for starters, i was minding my own business. i was also trying to do a little light reading, and then i was putting some cheese in the rat traps. you were putting the cheese in the rat traps? - yes. why? - can i smell your mouth? you were eating the cheese, weren't you, out of the rat traps? no! well, yes. i mean, i was eating the old cheese to test it, see why the rats weren't eating it. why are you always doing such weird things, charlie? i do weird things? name another thing that you think is weird. well, i caught you stealing a bunch of coins out of the fountain at logan circle. i was acquiring a little bit of cash to pay my spy, dee.

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> the trend goingt now, especially providing a lot of beautiful commentary. >> he's on everything. i needed to look at my wallet to make sure he wasn't on that. finally the guys from my center. get ready to rock. wusa9 news starts right now. is >>> and good evening i'm jan jeffcoat, thanks for joining us tonight. all night we've been tweeting the the -- about the grammies with 94.7's kelly collice as you can join in on the conversations. of course we'll be following some of your tweets as well, running them on the bottom of our screen. let's turn it over to you. >> a lot of big stories out there. the number one thing on their mind is the outburst of the mall at the mall in columbia killing three people on saturday. tonight we know the 21-year-old who is a young mother and her co-worker 25-year-old tyler johnson were killed inside a zoomies store, a skate board outlet. tonight this is the man who did it, the 19-year-old derek aguilar of college park. andrea mccarren joins us from columbia with more on w

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k h captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >>> wishing youear. >> from the wusa9 family to yours. >>> tonight a last second reprieve, new year's changes and high expectations. your only local news at 7:00 begins with a look at the most

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org z [boy] mom!om] yes? [boy] whoa,whoa,whoa... [mom and dad] [laughing] [boy] whoa,whoa,whoa... [mom] you've got two left feet,boo. right now in their quest for six. good evening... i'm brian hackney. and i >>> excitement early on for 49er fans, the team looking good, so far, right now, in their quest for 6. good evening, i'm brian hackmy. >> it looks and sounds electric. >> reporter: you bet. every once this in awhile we will hear a roar here. the third quarter just began. the crowd very much into this thing, one false start against the 49ers probably due to the 12th man. a lot of people have been anticipating this for awhile. a lot of people saying this is the sur

captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org good evening, i'me goodrich in for elizabeth c i'm >>> familiar complaints, frustrated drivers. tonight a pay area city makes new policies with parking. good evening. >>> tonight word of a small break. san francisco talking about dropping metered parking on sundays. phil mctier is live. >> reporter: fating a lot of criticism about the cost in san francisco, and tonight he said he would do something about it close to the people's hearts. anyone who has tried to park, knows how hard it is. it's the biggest tickets in the nation. you can imagine the mayor's call to end metered parking on sunday. >> it's beautiful. >> every day would be better. >> i'm all for it. >> i was never a big fan of metering people on sundays. i watched it out of respect we really needed funds for muni. >> reporter: in the first year muni took in $6 million on sundays, but half of that was tickets ticking off tourists, residents, and businesses alike. were you hearing complaints?? it has not ended since the day the city and muni im