for more on minnesota's uncommitted vote, let's go to michael kosta in duluth. el, what are you seeing on the ground there? >> what am i seeing? i'm seeing grace in an island paradise while michael kosta's stuck in a duluth parking lot! according to an exit poll i conducted with myself, these results [bleep] suck. why did grace get to go to american samoa? >> sorry, where's american samoa? i'm in american "sah-moa." >> ronny: yeah, michael, maybe if you had some cultural sensitivity, you could be there too. grace, what are the voters saying about what they want from the democratic party? >> a lot, ronny. i've talked to a bunch of voters. one of them is a very cute volleyball instructor. and later i'm going surfing with one of the rock's cousins! >> ronny: and michael, have you talked to any of the rock's cousins? >> they're not here! nobody cool is here! all right? it's just me in princess leia earmuffs trying not to freeze to death. meanwhile, grace is having the time of her life on a sunny beach? i hate democracy! this sucks! >> ouch, michael. i'll have you kno

and we sent michael kosta down to the border, and unfortunately, he came back.y friend awkwafina is joining me on the show! so let's get into headlines! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's begin with the covid pandemic. yes, remember that? next week will be four years since the day we started to take it seriously because tom hanks got it. "oh, no, not tom! take chet instead!" but everything's fine now. the cdc just issued new guidance saying that you don't even have to isolate if you get covid anymore. that's right. you can go ahead and keep coughing into people's faces, as long as you feel a little bad about it afterwards. it really feels like no one's trying to avoid covid anymore. well, almost no one. >> a german man has puzzled scientists after he deliberately got more than 200 covid-19 vaccinations. 217, to be exact, over two-and-a-half years. that's a shot every four days, roughly. >> of course, scientists are wondering what the effect was on him. first of all, he didn't report any vaccine-related side effects at all. secondly, his immune response did show an

this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ 's ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. we're going to talk about how kate middleton's picture is worth 1,000 news articles, and lara trump and jesus take the wheel at the rnc, and congress gets to the bottom of whether biden is old. but first, desi, i think we should take a moment to acknowledge equal pay day. because women don't earn enough, and personally, i'm sick of it. >> desi: oh, that's so nice, michael. >> michael: in fact, in the spirit of transparency, i'd like us to both say our salaries out loud, right now. >> desi: oh, uh... we really don't need to do that. >> michael: no, desi, i'm an ally. i want to bring light to an issue affecting all women. >> desi: well, i mean, there might not be a pay gap for every woman. some women might be making more than men, so i think we can just move on. >> michael: $65 a week! $65 a week! that's what i m

this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. the clock is ticking on tiktok, lewis black cancels ai, and rfk jr. has done the impossible: made his candidacy even weirder. but first, let's get into our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with the presidential race. yesterday, joe biden and donald trump both secured enough delegates to clinch their parties' nominations, making this officially a three-man race between trump, biden, and natural causes. although there is another candidate in the race who can play a big role: robert f. kennedy jr. he's polling as high as 22% so far, which means he could lose the election more successfully than any third party candidate in years. and soon we'll find out who he'll choose to lose alongside him. >> robert kennedy jr. says he has chosen his running mate and will announce his vp pick in the n

>> jon: michael kosta, everyone. applause] when we come back, melissa murray and kate shaw will be joining me. don't go away. [cheers and applause] the ball is out and there's a pile-up. -let's go! -get in the pile! ugh, i'll deal with this tomorrow. you won't. it's ripe in here. my eyes are watering. i'm a busy man. look how crusty this is. shameful. ugh, it's just too much. not with this. tide. tide can tackle any pile. that a tackle pun? just clean the pile, ron. okay. this too. that was easy. when stains and odors pile up, it's got to be tide. sometimes it takes a different approach to imagine your future differently. with capella university's game-changing flexpath format, you can earn your nursing degree without putting life on hold. [sfx: seagulls squawking] [sfx: fishline] back for another flounder fish sandwich? and a shrimp tackle box. let us do the fishing while y'all enjoy our seafood that you'll love. get them before they're gone. (coi leray & metro boomin, “enjoy yourself”) new axe black vanilla? yum! ♪

this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to the daily show, i'm michael kosta. >> desi: and i'm desi lydic! we've got a lot of news to get into. russia meddles in its own election. spring break might be broken. and when life gives elon musk lemons, he fires them. but first let's get into our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ donald trump has had a good week. he sealed the gop nomination. one of his 54 trials was postponed. he just figured out you can google "boobs." the man should be on top of the world! but some of his close friends in the right wing media are concerned. >> i know you have supporters, friends and families. they say it's lonely at the top, and i'm actually curious. is it ever lonely for you?" [laughter] >> desi: what a ridiculous question for a journalist to ask. of course he's not lonely. he saw his wife just six months ago! [bleep] walter cronkite over here. trump answered this question the way he answered every question: by saying

desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is. an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: welcome to "the daily show." i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. the supreme court [bleep]blocks democracy, republicans scramble over eggs, and dulce sloan creates a brand new holiday. let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with the debate over in vitro fertilization. last week, the alabama supreme court threw the future of ivf into doubt by ruling that frozen embryos, that are less than a tenth of a millimeter, by the way, are legally humans. and i'm sorry, but if you could pass through a spaghetti strainer, you're not human. and now republicans, who spent years and years insisting that every embryo is touched by god are suddenly saying, "we didn't mean that in a way that makes us unpopular!" >> a lot of the gop's top brass are now trying to scramble to get on the side of supporting ivf. >> the republican senate campaign arm jumped on the issue by sending out this memo on friday, urging that, "it is im

desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ - students, i would love to introduce you all to the future, mkay? starting today, our school will be operating entirely on intellilink. now whenever you need to see the school nurse or talk to me, your counselor, you can simply sign up using this simple integrated portal. [click] mkay. [click] [click click] you can use a commuter or any of the intellilink panels which are located throughout the school. let's say you're in the cafeteria, mkay, and you start coughing up blood and need to see the nurse. you just click on school cl

desi lydic and michael kosta, all week this week! here it is.ent employees, but he creates an account for his own campaign. y'all, you can't make this stuff up. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ kyle and stan: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ learng day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - [muffled singing] - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ when you smell the amazing scent of gain flings... time stops. (♪♪) and you realize you're in love... steve? with a laundry detergent. (♪♪) gain flings. seriously good scent. ♪ "bye bye macadam" by rone ♪ so, what is the next big thing? well, galaxy believes the next big thing is you. me? yes. look at you, you are open to experiment. you open your heart. i have a play this weekend. (she smiles) and with the power of galaxy ai, you'll open even more possibilities.

yesterday, we sent our own michael kosta to oakland to find out. >> i am here in oakland, california,l running mate. it is exciting. i am unvaxxed, unwaxed, and ready to go. it was just a few hours before the announcement and people were excited about the incredibly candidates. >> aaron rodgers. >> auntie rogers, he's also anti-mandatory vaccines. >> i like how aaron rodgers stood up against the covid tyranny. >> aaron rodgers is the only guy with experience, the joe grogan experience. >> tony robinson. >> tony robinson! >> i love him. >> could you imagine a cabinet meeting being like him if you can see it you, you can believe it? >> we need that kind of energy. >> i think it's easy for people in the mainstream media to discount rfk jr.'s candidacy but when you look around, there are some pretty serious event. so which property brother do you think he will pick for vice president? these were serious choices for a series porter's. >> i am a conspiracy theorist, or factual list. >> so which one of rfk jr.'s policies -- excuse me, conspiracy theories do you also track with? >> his work l

[cheers and applause] we'll start with our very own desi lydic and michael kosta! desi, welcome. lection season? >> jon, i'm going to be spending the next nine months here in a michigan diner, because diners are where real americans eat. the people are good to come of the menus are sticky, and the chickens have fingers. >> and i'll be in the same diner as desi, but the realer part of the diner. not the booth section, with all the coastal elite democrats and their fancy back support. i'll be spending the campaign at the counter with the trump voters, because realer americans want to sit at the bar stool on their coats. jon? >> jon: michael, what do trump voters think about this election? >> they're excited for president trump to win the presidency a third time and enact his agenda. >> jon: the border wall, tariffs, that's what they're excited for? >> no, i would say the vengeance. total and utter vengeance. one woman i met, irene, retired nurse, she said she hopes that trump will, quote, "split the skies and rain fire upon the states of blue, his terrible blade sundering his enemie