[cheers and applause] >> ronny: thank you, michael kosta.ndy kim will be joining us on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] chipotle's braised beef barbacoa might be our best kept secret. slow cooked responsibly raised beef. seasoned with garlic and cumin.hand-shredded for fall off the fork tenderness. chipotle's braised beef barbacoa. if you know, you know. i love this place, but i need better credit. bad credit? you could just open a new card. but you kinda need... ugh. sfx: [phone buzz] wow, i could build my credit that fast? nice. everything you need to outsmart the system. intuit credit karma. introducing gatorade water. alkaline and electrolyte infused for great taste. gatorade water. always in motion. a mystery! jessie loves playing detective. but the real mystery was her irritated skin. so, we switched to tide pods free & gentle. it cleans better, and doesn't leave behind irritating residues. and it's gentle on her skin. tide free & gentle is epa safer choice certified. it's got to be tide. the future is threatened by en

[cheers and applause] >> ronny: thank you, michael kosta.kim will be joining us on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] you're really making all of this by hand. oh yeah. the avocados are hand mashed, the chips are hand tossed. and everything is made fresh you make it fresh every day. yes, every day. the chipotle way is: we make it fresh every day. sounds delicious. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ dsg family clothing and gear priced to win. only at dicks the future is threatened by enemies often unpredictable. when there are battles to win for america's future, there is one constant: marines. (♪♪) basketball's a very physical sport. i get a lot of marks throughout the season. it's a sign of hard work. you've got to push yourself to the limit. having marks on your body is not a sign of failure, it's a step towards improvement. movement leaves marks. your antiperspirant shouldn't. degree ultraclear. nonstop protection against white marks. i think we need a bigger yard, with our credit? ow, ow, ow, ow. credit karma can show us how to improve our

i am michael kosta.tes, they help track traffic violators, but what happens when shifty citizens purposely cover them up? >> sorry. >> tonight, on "thank me later," we will meet o one man who is dedicated his life to make sure new yorkers are held accountable for traffic violations. i want to bike along with this snitchilante to investigate and you can "thank me later." >> communities cheated out of improvements to roads, bridges, and other infrastructure because people covering up their license plates. speak up when i go through the camera system, we can't pick it up. >> officials say these flaws because the city more than $100 million every year. >> that's right. some new york drivers have started obscuring their plates by partially covering them. these are called ghost plates. and one man is taking it upon himself to bust these ghosts. plates. >> still on the criminal mischief beat. i will dedicate today to illegal cover license plates. we've got a guy with a plaque and i will show you that in a minut

this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! ♪ >> michael: love this energy! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we have so much to talk about tonight. a supreme court justice is in the hot seat. america wonders if its drinking water should have less poison? plus, a live performance by vampire weekend! [cheers and applause] oh, my god! holy shit! let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] i'd like to start tonight with a topic that's pretty important to me: water. yeah, i don't know about you guys, but i'm, like, 60% water. okay? it's kind of my thing. and if you'd like to put even more water in your body, well, here's some news worth celebrating. >> this morning, the biden administration is announcing the first-ever national standard for some harmful chemicals in drinking water. >> and a new u.s. rule will impose the first ever limits on pfas or so-called forever chemicals in drinking water. the epa is now requiring utilities to reduce the toxic chemicals to the lowest level they can be reliably measured. th

this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: yes! to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much news to cover tonight. americans google their symptoms, trump throws an abortion policy reveal party, and student debt must have some bad tweets, because it just got canceled! so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with yesterday's solar eclipse, when people across the continent came together to have their wallets stolen while they were distracted by space. hopefully everyone wore the correct safety glasses, so they didn't catch covid from the sun. but even if you did wear them, you still might have had a solar hangover. >> google trends report shows some of the eclipse watchers may not have been using proper eye protection. the company says it saw a spike in searches of "my eyes hurt" following the solar eclipse on monday. >> michael: "my eyes hurt?" that's not even a question. that just sounds like people were complaining to their computer. "my eyes hurt, google!" get some friends, lo

for more on this controversy, we go live to the white house with michael kosta. applause] michael, you were at the white house easter egg hunt on monday. what did you find? >> well, i'll tell you what i found, desi. a ton of easter eggs! okay? turns out, you don't even have to hunt for them, you just wait for the kids to find them, and take it out of their baskets. it's like taking candy from a baby. >> desi: congratulations. i mean more about easter being pitted against trans visibility day. it seems like all this controversy ruined the day for the trans community. >> are you kidding? this was the most successful trans visibility day in history. fox news raised trans awareness for 500 straight hours! [cheers and applause] yeah. and the best part is, we'll get another round in a few weeks, when greek orthodox easter goes up against greek orthodox trans visibility day. >> desi: okay, but i don't think the transgender community wanted this kind of attention. >> look, i can't speak on behalf of the trans community. they've specifically asked me to stop doing that. bu

this is "the daily show," with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: yes!! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm michael kosta, we have so much to talk about tonight. politicians are falling downstairs, joe biden almost remembered what time it is and when it comes to abortion, even republicans are mad at republicans. so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] let's talk about some big news on the abortion front. earlier this week, former president trump announced that after getting roe v. wade overturned, he's happy with how everything has worked out because from now on, each state will make its own rules. you know how sometimes the speed limit is 45 miles an hour and then down the road it's 35 miles an hour? well, that's how human rights are going to work now! what could go wrong? [laughter] but then arizona decided that its law would be a nearly-complete abortion ban that was first enacted during the civil war. and even pro-life republicans started freaking out. >> tonight, some republicans across the country are rhetorically trying to distance the

michael kosta, everyone!lause] when we come back, charlamagne tha god will be joining us! so stick around! [cheers and applause] new kinder chocolate. ♪♪ delicious little bars of smooth milk chocolate with a creamy, milky center. ♪♪ made for being a kid. let that kid flag fly. a national taste test determined america's favorite boneless wings, applebee's won. how about that? we don't even have wing in our name. get them now for just 50 cents. only at applebee's. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." you know, all this week, i've been sharing my opinions on the news. but i'm not the only one with opinions around here, so here with another installment of "in my opinion," is our good friend, charlamagne tha god. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> hey! y'all remember 2020, right? covid. social distancing. murder hornets! yeah, y'all forgot about murder hornets, huh? or maybe you remember our nationwide reckoning with racism. after the murder of george floyd, white people across america looked

donald trump stay in the courts and on the campaign trail we go down to the new york courthouse and michael kostaheers and applause] michael! michael, you were with trump this morning at his campaign stop, right? >> yep, and once again, trump proved that he is a man of the people. blue-collar workers, union guys, donald j. trump is one of them. clearly the j stands for "joe" as in "joe sixpack," "average joe," or "jolene" because of the adultery. >> ronny: right, right, he's an everyman, a regular person. and what the trumps lawyers argue with the supreme court today? >> their argument is quite simple, ronny. donald trump is not a regular person. he's not some blue-collar worker, or a union guy. donald j. trump is an untouchable godlike entity who lives above the law. right? clearly the j stands for "judicially immune from all prosecution forever and all time. amen." >> jordan: but michael, how does he square those two? that sounds totally contradictory. >> not at all. donnie trump is a guy you can imagine having a beer with. is also the guy who can murder the guy he's having a beer with because

before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, michael kosta! it's a big helmet. >> well, jon, i recently learned new york city is over several earthquake fault lines. so i'm not taking any chances. i'm prepared. 24/7. >> jon: you're gonna wear that all the time now? >> well, yeah. unless i'm riding my bike, because, you know, i don't wanna look like a pussy. >> jon: michael kosta, everyone! now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> welcome back to eclipse across america. we are watching what is an amazing interstellar phenomenon. we are not talking about happening in indianapolis, we are talking about the show we are about to watch across the sky. >> it's going to be amazing and this is either the best idea or the worst idea. >> set aside all journalistic credibility. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin