please welcome the very funny mike vecchione ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> new york city, baby [ cheersts or get drunk, my body feels about the same [ light laughter ] the next day i'm just achy and sore, questioning all of my life's choices [ light laughter ] my father gave me some very bad advice growing up. and it's going to sound like good advice when i say it. but now that i'm in my 40s, i know it's bad. this was the advice. he said, "michael, always give 100%." he said, "you can't go wrong if you always give 100%." that, my friends, is false [ laughter ] if you give 100% at all times, you will end up in a mental institution. [ laughter ] but you have to try sometimes. so what i do now is when i walk into a situation, i check my cell phone whatever percentage my battery is at -- [ laughter ] that's how much effort i give. [ cheers and applause tonight, they were like, "mike, this crowd deserves 100%." i said "37% is what they're gonna get. [ laughter and applause "unless somebody has a a charger. [ laughter ] i'm not married. there's a lot of lies floating around out there about ma

[ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: mike vecchione for more visit mikevecchione.com. bag? that's yes for less. ross has the brands you want for back to school. and it feels even better when you find them for less. at ross. yes for less. ? need help paying for c so does... everyone. strayer has graduation fund. finish your bachelors degree and save up to 25% with tuition-free classes in your last year. finiand realize you can gete youeverything you need...oss oh, yeah. yep. yes!e ...to feel likboss? th's yes for less. 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices for every room and every bget. at ross.yes for less. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to zachary quinto, betty gilpin, and the roots right thfromone, philadelphia [ cheers and applause stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow bye-bye, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza i new york, it's "late nig with seth meyers. tonight -- michael moore, host of "most expensivest,"