grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts!. [ eves ] years ago, i hurt my shoulder drag racing. that's when i decided to take it easy, so i took up hang gliding. [ female announcer ] a grandpa who refuses to grow up. [ eves ] the pain was bad, but the thought of not being a hang glider pilot was worse. [ female announcer ] that's when eves turned to sutter health's palo alto medical foundation. [ eves ] the doctors that i dealt with, they got it, that this old guy wanted to return as a hang glider pilot. they got me flying again.

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts!wesome. >> jon: welcome back. you know, with all this hullabaloo of what's going on, i have neglected to mention last week's women's world cup. our u.s. team unbelievable. up believable. ultimately they lost in the final to japan, but their play throughout the tournament was outstanding, and as a former player and sometimes lady, the goal that they scored in injury time against brazil to tie one of the greatest goals i've ever seen in world cup history. take a look. >> a pinot gets across towards wambach. can you believe it? abby wambach has saved the u.s.a.'s life in this world cup. >> jon: wambach, goooooalllllll. you know what, though, i got to tell you, it's not the same when you see it in the highlight as seeing it live. to see it... excuse me for a minute. i'm just going to... to my changing closet. [laughter] hey, hey, everyone. hey, ladies. >> just ignore him. >> oh, is he coming this way? >> ladies, here's what i want. i want brazil injury time magic. give me a little of that.

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome.pplause] >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybody. good night. [cheers and applause] (bleep). [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause]

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome. report," evecaptioning sponsorey comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ two... two, three... ♪ ♪

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome. everybody. thank you. my guest tonight is a harvard professor of philosophy. i'll ask him, what is the sound of one audience clapping? please welcome michael sandell. [cheering and applause] thank you. professor, please, sit down. all right. sir, let's get the crm v. out here. it's kind of impressive for those who like things. you're a professor at harvard, so you're smarty pants. you have thought political philosophy since 1980. you teach a special undergraduate court called "justice." 15,000 students have taken it so far. you can watch this on youtube. you can buy the whole thing on d.v.d. "justice: what is the right thing to do." i'll bite. what's the right thing to do? [laughter] i got my own answer, but what's your answer, smarty pants. yeah. come on, you're the teacher. >> well, especially i teach by asking students questions. >> stephen: fire away. >> all right. shall we try one? >> stephen: yeah. >> okay. alex rodriguez of the yankees... >> stephen: sucks. did i get that right? did i get

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome. everybody. my guest tonight is a particle physicist here to talk about his new tv series "wonders of the universe." i already know three wonders, stevie, bread and woman. please welcome brian cox. [cheering and applause] hey, nice to see you again brian. all right. you are a smarty pants. >> thank you. >> stephen: tell the people out there just how smart your pants are. you're a particle physicist, royal society research fellow at the university of manchester where you hold a chair in particle physics. you're about to present the second installment of your peabody award-winning series "wonders of the universe" july 27th, 9:00 p.m. on the science channel. it has a companion book called "wonders of the universe." >> yes. i'll settle for that introduction. thank you. >> stephen: what kind of wonders of the universe are you talking about? is this like the sequence describing the shape of a sunflower and the shape of a galaxy or like ufos painted the mona lisa? what kind? >> neither of those. >> step

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome.

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome. (cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, he is the former president of pakistan. please welcome back to the program pervez musharraf. sir. (cheers and applause) nice to see you, sir. thank you for joining us. (applause) have a seat. (cheers and applause) nice to see you again. thank you for joining us again. we appreciate it. >> thank you. nice seeing you. >> jon: the last time we... i prepared some refreshments for us. i prepared tea and a twinkie. (laughter) that was our... we have to take it up a notch because of the deterioration of our two country's relationship. (laughter) power aid and balance bars. (laughter) i don't know if you've ever had this. you can have a... would you care for s'mores? >> i'm okay with that. >> jon: (laughs) you're okay with just this? i don't blame you, sir. that's probably wise. to your health. >> cheers. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: a taste sensation. last time you were here, i asked you where osama bin laden was. lau

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts!00. so there you have it. finally. stop with the letters and the cards and the e-mails. we had the mckinley guy on. done. [cheering and applause] here it is, your moment of zen. >> honest to god, my favorite no peanut butter. stracaptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight, should students be taught gay history? only if they're teaching that gay is history. [laughter] then a controversy at the "today show." the cooking segment got out of control and they ate matt lauer. and my guest will discuss his book "incognito: the secret lives of the brain." if i find out my brain has been seeing another skull, i will be pissed. you say potato, i say who are you and why are you saying "potato" to me? this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] [awed -- audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: welcome to "the report." thank you. thank you. welcome to "the report." lad

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome. (cheers and applause) welcome back. every so often a news anchor end up becoming the story. dan rather being roughed up on the floor of the '68 democrat quick convention. marv albert having a sex scandal. barbara walters causing the destruction of the hindenburg. (laughter) why? why barbara? why do you kill? lately watching cnn i've noticed something newsworthy may be brewing there as well. >> one group calculated how much it would cost to go to hog warts school of witchcraft and wizardry. >> more than $43,000 and that's for only one year. tuition is actually the biggest chunk. just to send your kid off to become a wizard, it's going to price it right out of the ballpark i say. >> i'd say it costs zero because it doesn't exist. >> there you go. (laughter) >> victim done the calculations for you. right at the top. it is interesting, though. >> jon: did you see that? his half-hearted last minute effort to feign that he cares at all about what that woman was talking about. that's not jus

grab a miller lite vortex bottle. taste greatness. hey, look. i made t-shirts! awesome.eers and applause). >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight is a political analyst for the fox news network. his new book is called "muzzled. the assault on honest debate." please welcome to the program juan williams. sir? (cheers and applause) nice to see you, thanks for joining us. (applause) so thank you for joining us. >> my pleasure. great to be here. >> jon: thank you for being here. "muzzled: the assault on honest debate." so tell us. i guess the impetus of this book for the most part the incident that you had with comments that you had made during a segment on o'reilly's show, npr fires you. walk us through that very briefly. >> well, as you know, o'reilly was on the view and said that muslims attacked us on 9/11. after he says that whoop i goldberg and joy behar walks off the set and then o'reilly says "i meant radical extremist muslims." they come back. so the next o'reilly show, he has me on and he says kel me where i went wrong. so i said let's talk about this. the fact a th