dear mom, you're my mom. pretty cool mom. uh, chick stuff here-- feelings, whatever. love, axl. so, mom, what do you want to do today? (giggles) (chuckles) (clatter) (gasps) my frame! oh! (sighs) oh, it's fine. it'll be fine. great. now it looks all thrown together. i'm trying to get some sleep here! have some respect for other people, people! all right, i'm gonna go watch "sportscenter" and let you hang out with your kids. it's your day. see, that's where mother's day and father's day are different. on father's day, it really is his day. (birds chirping) (knock on door) (sue whispering indistinctly) (sue and brick, singsongy) happy father's day! i held 'em off as long as i could to let you sleep. (sue) we made all your favorites-- eggs, sausage, waffles... and a mini-doughnut dad with bacon arms. well, i'll eat him first. thanks. this looks great. you kids really know how to cook. yo, pops! h.f.d.! how about a game of hoops later? you got it. bring your "a" game. it's gonna be epic! (clicks tongue) i made you a remote control caddy. mom got all the supplies from the store and t

if your mom was a real mom. mom, she would clean your diaper and your bottom with her tongue. [ audience groans ] that's a real mom. >> jimmy: mom, change the channel if you're watching. [ laughter ] >> sticks her head in there. cleans it all out and then swallow it so predators don't pick up the scent of a baby. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, it's amazing. i don't want to do that. so we give him elmo diapies. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: aww. that's pretty cute. >> isn't that cool? you have a baby now, you can probably change a kangaroo's diaper. >> jimmy: absolutely yeah. i think i probably could. >> now kind of scoot down like that. stand back there by your desk. get down kind of on your knees. perfect. and hold that pouch open. i'll see if tucker here will come over and say hello. come here, tucker. this way, come here. [ audience aws ] now mom would move over towards the baby, so move over. come on, you're slacking. [ laughter ] and then she'd move over like this and then she'd go like this and whoop. ther

. >> it's hot mom backlash. with kim bragging her post baby bod, is it any wonder regular moms have had enough? >> we are going just a little bit. >> what were they thinking. this national monument had only been there 170 million years. >>> good evening. thank you for joining us. at most restaurants, having three customers suffer heart attacks after eating at the establishment would be a source of great concern and shame, something minimized and explained away. not at one spot where they actually promote how unhealthy it is, offering free meals to its most obese patrons. and even celebrating a death on the premesis. it is aptly named the heart attack grill. we sent abc's ryan owens to check out their new digs in none other than sin city. ♪ >> reporter: in a country where calories are posted like warnings on restaurant menus, where unhealthy school lunches are under fire, and where our first lady has a vegetable garden, there is an alternative reality. and it looks like this. this monument to greasy gluttony. >>

so mom did with a lot of moms do. they put them in the crib so they can soothe themselves. she's like i am not taking the nap lying down. >> she looks like she's seriously snoozing. >> she is standing up like as soon as i wake up, we're going to discuss this. then she straightens them without her eyes ever opening. >> it's crazy. >> it is. >> and that mom is having a baby, one word at a time he writes out a sentence. and the kids, they don't get it. you can see the daughter saying this is weird. and the little boy, he's only concerned about that dollar. if mom had a baby dollar, he'd be happy with that. >> he eventually writes the whole thing out. >> no reaction. >> well, their attention span is very short at this time. >> at one point mommy's like let me break it down. >> mommy's having a baby. >> really? you're having a baby? really? you're having a baby? >> aw! >> i think baby mom's method was the most special. >> that motion on that little girl's face is priceless. she's so excited for her mom. >> the future of teeth brushing is here. >> ooh. >> welcome blizadent. >> it

mom! mom, stop! stop! please, stop. i know how to dance. i just don't want to be part of that freak show. sweetheart, you're a beautiful girl. someone will ask you to dance. i know that. it's just stupid. somebody will ask you. why do you keep saying that? somebody will ask you. but what if they don't? honey, if they don't, then you do the exact same thing i told your sister, okay? take three deep breaths and relax. even the advice i get is a hand-me-down. mom, i did it! i passed! aah! oh, my god! i got my license! congratulations. i have my license! i got my license! haley, car's not in park. oh, oops. [ emergency brake engages ] you better run to that counter. go. run! run! right now! i still can't believe you lost my truck. it's gone, buddy. let it go. you know, maybe it's better we don't solve this little mystery. sometimes treasure's more sparkly in your imagination, where it could be gold or baseball cards or pirate maps. do you really think there could be pirate maps under there? i'm 100% sure it's possible. all right. i'm going in.

i don't know what you're talking about, mom." my mom was right.i went to hug my friend tracey wigfield that we won the emmy with, i guess there was a little momentary situation. i don't think it's that bad. i brought a picture. we can evaluate as a group. >> jimmy: can we show it on our show? >> yeah, it's safe for work. >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know. >> it's not that bad. >> jimmy: it's not that bad. [ laughter and applause ] it's pretty bad. kind of all showing there, yes. not even an intentional slip. >> you know paula pell's dog? our friend paula pell. >> jimmy: is that her dog? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, she just adopted. >> lucy, yes. >> jimmy: ah, we love paula pell. thank you for bringing the picture of the nip slip. >> sure. >> jimmy: i'm always asking you for advice. because now i have a daughter. i know you have two beautiful girls. i have little winnie. i took her to see the doctor today. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she did great. >> okay, good. checkup? >> jimmy: checkup, three shots. >> what kind of shots do you get that little? >> jimmy:

mm-hmm. ...before you saw your mom.rtainly seem to be reaching that place. [ sighs ] for your six-month weigh in, i have one round-trip ticket for you to go to chile, and you can see your birth mom. are you serious? yes. [ breathes deeply ] i think you're pretty amazeballs right now. [ laughing ] all right. chris powell. chris: i'm -- i'm feelg really good about -- about the place where jami is right now. i mean, yeah, there's part of me that's concerned about her getting overzealous and -- and reaching for that number again. see ya. bye. but, at the same time, i just -- i'm feeling good that -- that she's gonna do well in phase 2. this is my countdown to chile. "days... "to... chile!" 35 more days. ♪ this many days. family! 32 days left to...chile! ♪ i-i wish that every adopted child were given the opportunity to say thank you to the people that brought them into this world, because it really is a tremendous gift. 20. 23 days. 23 days. mwah! [ crying ] so, i finished the workout, and i hurt my hip really bad tonight. o

next, how it could be addicting to moms.and helping teachers get the basics in their classrooms, without them spending their hard-earned money. the new website that's allowing strangers to chip in. ((break 2)) any mom will tell you how much they love the smell of their newborn baby... but, could they really be addicted to it? science says "yes." melody mendez tells us how that "newborn smell" can be like a drug to new moms. pordy says: " they absolutely have a sweet, soft little scent that just makes you light up." while the adjectives may vary... any mom will tell you all about the smell of her newborn. terra pordy has a 3-year-old son, and another on the way... she still vividly remembers the smell. pordy says: "i lost sleep cause i would just hold this precious baby and you just, you smell them." now, a study published in the journal "frontiers in psychology" finds newborns do have a smell, that activates certain pathways in a mom's brain, making it hard to resist her baby. felle says: "women will often talk about the sme

>> my mom is.tress and a musician. >> you wrote something called "cry me a river" but not like justin bieber and a long time before that, julie london. i'm kidding. don't get mad at me if you like julie london. you're going to play "cry me a river?" >> and i'm doing a little matchup. >> okay. ♪ i get to figure out what you're losing ♪ ♪ i've never had a doubt trusting you somehow no confusion ♪ ♪ you would say i'm wrong but you proved me right ♪ ♪ and the tricks you love won't work this time ♪ ♪ so cry me a river but that won't help ♪ ♪ cry me a river cry for someone else ♪ ♪ because i won't sit around i'll settle i'll make you say nothing says that these games that you play will never, ever, ever never, ever, ever break me ♪ ♪ da-da da-da o, o, o ♪ i've got the eye of the tiger dancing through the fire because i'm a champion and you're going to hear me roar ♪ >> oh that's so nice. >> like a norah jones. >> that's so awesome. are you on itunes? >> no. i'm on sound cloud. >> sound cloud? >> yes. on

i gave him nutella, mom."n. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: fixes anything. >> steve: nutella's the best. >> jimmy: your buddy's here, he's drunk. >> steve: here, have some nutella. >> jimmy: this one's from @heidi ho neighbor. she says, " i received 12 consecutive completely empty text bubbles from my mom the other day." apparently she was trying to unlock her phone. can't open this darn phone. >> steve: what the heck am i supposed to do? >> jimmy: this one from @jessementz. he says, "my mom couldn't figure out punctuation, so she would type it out, how are you, question mark?" i'm good, exclamation point. >> steve: at least she didn't ask about his colon. >> jimmy: at least she didn't ask him about his colon, yeah. thank you. you didn't want to, you just had to do it. this one is from @the real kahg. he says, "my mom texed me, hello, son. this message took me ten minutes to type. just so you know how much i love you." this ones from @holly lou harris. she says, "on valentine's day last year, my mom texted me, enjo

>> i'm a mom. >> ellen: you're a mom? >> yeah. i'm a great mom. >> ellen: you're a great mom. do you do? >> i'm from san dimas, and i'm an i.t. analyst. >> ellen: these are questions all about columbus day. something like that. i think. they may not be. i don't know what they are. columbus set sail on the nina -- this is for you, jessica. set sail on the nina, the pinta and the santa maria. what does miley cyrus ride? >> "wrecking ball." >> ellen: you remain up there. tina, here we go. the academy awards is one of the most watched television events in america. which beautiful talented celebrity is hosting the oscars this year? >> ellen degeneres. >> ellen: that is right. [applause] >> ellen: vicky, america's national symbol is the bald eagle. name another famous bald american. a bald american. >> oh, my god. the guy who is in the fast cars. the one that just -- the movies with the fast cars. somebody else. yul brynner. >> ellen: i will accept yule brinner. that was wonderful to come up with -- i will accept yul brynner. what's the san francisco treat? >> i don't know. >> ellen

that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! girl ] make dinner pop! >>> like us on facebook.com/rightthisminute. now back to the show. >> this is the brand new 2014 corvette stingray. it's one of the sexiest new cars out there. it's hard to get, it's expensive. they just started shipping these cars. >> i ordered a new 2014 chevrolet corvette stingray. >> this guy, chris carol, is the lucky recipient. it's not for him. >> this is my girl friend's car. >> she built it herselfline. she has no idea. >> he told her to come to his work so she could meet his mom for the first time. >> you're too sneaky. >> car just rolled up. >> oh, yeah? how cool is that? oh, yeah. that's awesome. >> she's too composed. i feel like i would have been jumping. >> this video got a ton ofrs more than 700 thumbs down on the video. only 500 thumbs up. people couldn't stand patty's reaction. they're like why aren't you more excited? so to ask her ourselves where was the excitement, we have patty and chris joining us via skype. explain your reaction to all t

how's mom? speaking of big feet, eh? she is on a cruise with her girlfriends, some of which are not totally unattractive. mm. uh, that reminds me -- she sent some gifts for the kids. um, i will be right back. you three get better acquainted. will do. fun. will do. i cannot believe you got a dog without consulting me. this was a major family decision. it was wrong. yeah. and i'm sorry. mm. but we have talked about getting a dog for years, and you're the only one who wasn't into it. because i knew that i would be the one taking care of it. that's not true. oh. no, we will all help. mm-hmm. this is a great chance to teach the kids responsibility. that is exactly what you said about luke's paper route. [ newspapers thudding ] hello? is anyone in there? [ gasps ] [ sighs ] [ gasps ] [ gasping ] red's a good color on you. aah! [ gasps ] it's just a movie. haley: oh, he's so cute! look at his little face. i always wanted a dog. thanks, grandpa. okay, but remember, having a dog is a major responsibility. everyone in the family h

plus, hot mom backlash all because she challenged moms to look like her. >> it's kind of crazy. >> and, exclusive. beyonce's ex-boyfriend. can you imagine cheating on beyonce? he did. plus, forget the oscars, forget the emmys, here comes the friskies. now "inside edition" with deborah norville. >>> deborah: hello, everybody, and thank you for joining us. as we broadcast today from our bureau in los angeles. >>> deborah: security has been beefed up in l.a. after four dry ice bombs were found at the airport. two of the bombs exploded. what exactly are dry ice bombs and why are people playing around with them in videos that you will find all over the internet? jim moret explains. >> a frightening scene at one of the nation's busiest airports. four dry ice bombs were found at los angeles international airport. two exploded. what is more troubling, they were planted in secure areas, accessible only to airport employees. it's a disturbing and potentially dangerous explosive device. the dry ice bomb. at lax, bomb squad cops swarm to the scene. officers with bomb-sniffing dogs were on patrol a

mom never questioned bobby again.o can play at this game. [ female announcer ] swap one snack a week for a yoplait. and everybody wins. yoplait. it is so good. in dye troit. detroit. possible fan interference and a lost opportunity in the alds. lowry is going deep. a two-run bomb and the a's off to a 3-0 lead. and the way he was pitching at that point appeared to be plenty. in the fifth peralta muscles up a three-run homer. to the seventh and the controversy. a blast to right off sean doolittle. the fans reach out and touch the ball. reddick says he would have caught it. it looks like the ball was too high for him. the umps review and say no fan interference. they call it a homerun and it is 4-4. down 5-4 and a's load the bases. they can't score in the eighth. he strikes out reddick and then gets alberto ciaspo. tigers add in the 8th. tigers build an 8-4 cushion and the a's come back to score twice in the 9th. but the final score is 8-6 tigers. verlander against colon or gray. >> we have bases loaded and nobody out an

mom: yeah. brandon: what do you think brooks would do? mom: oh, he'd be very excited.o you think he would say yes? dad: oh, yeah. mom: oh, yeah, he'd definitely say yes. dad: he'd be very happy, i think. announcer: during the visit, brandon noticed a few things that might be stressful to vinny. brandon: obviously, brooks and his family are great. there's no issues there. [car horn honking] but like many families, they live in a lively neighborhood, so the noise and distractions could be a little too much for vinny, and there's a lot of activity in the home, as well. so, i need to get vinny to the point where he's not spooked by everything. announcer: with his work cut out for him, brandon immediately returns to the ranch to start training vinny to be comfortable around loud noises and moving objects. brandon: what's this? announcer: he only has a couple of days left to reach his goal. brandon: see this? look at it. it's just a rocking chair. it's just a rocking chair. to get through there, you've got to have faith, my friend. you've got to have trust. look at that. goo

mom? >> she's up on the catwalk, and i'm down on the bottom, so i can look out my window and wave at her. >> the reason i'm here is because i tried to kill my husband or tried to have him killed. it was me and my mother and she had originally told one of my friends that she would give him $1,000 if he killed my husband. >> felecia art and her mother, darlene moses, each received ten years for solicitation of first-degree murder, but the two years they've spent here so far have not been all bad. >> i work in the kitchen and i'm a cook. you know, when i was still out on the streets i really didn't know how to cook. i've learnt how to cook since i've been here. >> she's just a high-spirited girl. i mean, she's just happy go lucky all the time. she loves to work in the kitchen, she loves getting out and doing stuff. and i used to go set -- when i first got here, i used to sit and watch her play volleyball down at the gym and i'd just sit and watch her and think, she's not a little girl anymore

amy holmes' mom.much. >> thank you. >>> another talker this morning, actress melissa mccarthy keeping us laughing in the hit movie "bridesmaids." remember this? >> this is some classy -- geez, megan. >> i'm not even confident which end this came out of. >> now, the comedian is trading in the tomboy look for something more chic. up next, we'll tell you why this magazine cover is stirring up so much controversy. >>> also, we have a treat for you. legendary comedian carol burnett joins us. she'll tell us about the special honor she's receiving tomorrow. we're back in a moment. how much protein does your dog food have? 18 percent? 20? new purina one true instinct has 30. active dogs crave nutrient-dense food. so we made purina one true instinct. learn more at purinaone.com humans. we are beautifully imperfect creatures living in an imperfect world. that's why liberty mutual insurance has your back, offering exclusive products like optional better car replacement, where if your car is totaled, we give you

mom. but he is embracing this at this time in our lives and is -- i couldn't ask for more support from brian. >> how did you meet him? >> i met him at a canteen barbecue right at -- it was the summer after i was elected to congress. his sister had worked on my campaign. and she invited him to this campaign barbecue to introduce me to another volunteer's daughter. and at the end of the evening, he said, maureen, i think i would like to meet kathy. so that is how we met. then we started corresponding. the first date was up at the naval academy. he's a naval academy grad. and he invited me to tour with the naval academy. i was on the armed services committee. he thought i should see the naval academy go to a football game. it's been just a great special blessing that whole relationship. but it's -- it's having the support of my family and our extended family. my mom and brian's family, his parents and sisters and brother all in spokane. and a great team, a great staff, and the thousands of su

plus dude play as prank on mom. >> in a way that no child should. >> what he tells mom next that hasn a tizzy. >>> dash cam time. when you spend the extra money on the high performance porsche, this may be the time you're glad to have it. a deft driver weaved his way through. >> i don't know where that car is coming from. >> he t-bones the bushes. >> i know. hits the barrier. he goes on the embankment and weaves his way through. >> was he more afraid for himself or his car? >> yes. >> both. >> coming out of downmark, windy conditions, creating a havoc out ahead. and over it goes. >> must be empty. if it was carrying a big load of stuff, you don't know. >> hard to say. that truck goes right over on its side. doesn't look like any serious impact. >> this goes to show you anything can happen at any moment on the roadway. that's why you have to stay alert. if you are an alert driver, you get out of it unscathed. >> it's world series time. >> how about we celebrate with a little music. that's mike thompson. he has a popular youtube page. now he's teamed up with pepsi to celebrate america'

what do you think about what mom said?> i think i'm going to look better than everybody here. >> what does your baby sister think? you said they need to look like you. >> they do. they just need a new look. they're getting old. >> all right, mom. are we ready for all this? >> i'm ready for all this. i want a new look for this family. >> i love this. mom is so awesome! they're awesome. all righty. let's take one last look at beverly. and bring out the brand-new beverly! >> all right. okay. all right. ladies, take off the blindfold. and turn around. >> oh, my goodness! >> beautiful, bev. >> your turn to turn around and look. >> oh, wow. oh, my goodness. i guess. >> you look beautiful. >> right there. camera 12. >> yes, number one, i lightened her hair. just erased years. arson softened the frame around the face. again, erasing years. of course, the beautiful makeup. >> so soft and pretty. >> it is so soft and pretty. i mean, it's amazing. isn't it? you look like a movie star. >> the dress? >> the dress, our little black dres

rodnea: and before we left, my mom's mom told us he didn't want us till he found out he was gonna be getting $900 a month. (audience gasps) that is not true. not true. rodnea: my grandma ida, she was saying that he was not hollerin' about taking you all to columbus until he found out money was involved. judge lake: so he packed you off and moved you to columbus. rodney: that is not true. she said, "be aware." that is not true. that is not true. we have no reason to lie. we don't want none of this. judge lake: okay. and so he takes you, and you move to columbus. rodnea: we go to columbus. and how was your childhood there? tell me about that. me and him never got along. like, me and him fought all the time. 'cause we kids, what we say don't matter. how we felt don't matter, but it do. i have something first to tell you that it's things i should have did different. judge lake: mr. eggleston, it has been determined by this court that you... you say that you know you not the father and you know that a white man is their father. her sugar daddy. he talking about a white man say he was like

hi, mom. alan wants to talk to you. hi, mom. how was dubai? oh, good, i-i'm glad you met somebody.re a hairy people. uh, yeah, i-i don't need to know any more details, as long as he makes you happy. that's a detail, mom. oh, no, d-don't worry about your house. i, uh, i check on it every day on my way home from work. yeah, now, that's why i'm the good son. (chuckles) well, uh... have fun with hamid. that's another detail, mom. yeah, i'll, uh, i'll see you tomorrow. okay, bye-bye. you haven't been to her house once, have you? i checked on it with google earth. it's still there. at least the roof is anyway. i'll just run over today and pick up the newspapers and the mail, and, uh, replace the dead plants. you don't think she'll notice new plants? nah, she doesn't pay that much attention to living things. remember when she had the cockatoo? oh, yeah. polly really wanted a cracker. you can drop my mercedes off at the dealership for service. happy to do it. hey, i don't want to hear it. you and your kid live here rent-free. i don't ask for much in return, so the least you could do for me

i told her to call her mom. she came over to the house and asked me to do this and i said you should call your mom >> and then you text her telling her you wanted to... >> yes, i was intrigued by it. >> kirk: you were intrigued? >> what? >> no, i it was not the whole thing >> it was my baby. i'm going to sit down. >> this is crazy for me. >> kirk: so listen, are you having an affair with her daughter? >> no, i'm not >> kirk: are you attracted to her? >> no, i'm not >> kirk: are you intrigued by her? >> at the moment i was but i avoid the situation of being in the same room with her daughter >> kirk: you admit you are a pathological liar >> i am a compulsive liar yes >> kirk: how can i believe anything you say >> i came here seeking help and i took a lie detector test and i'm here to clear my name. i did not sleep with her daughter. i didn't do anything with her daughter. i never touched her or kissed her nothing >> kirk: you had sex with a welfare lady >> yes. >> it was a welfare -- >> kirk: that is not funny. w

except brenia jennings is a work-at-home mom. now, hers -- i think hers is the best i'm going to say. her captions here are hilarious about her family, they trash her house, she says her bed's never made, her kids' room is a hell hole. this part freaks me out, her bathroom is a petri dish. it's very similar. she's dancing around in difference spaces all over her home, which is her working location. she has the dance break just like in the other two videos. now she starts sticking it to all the things in the home here, the trash, this pile of fresh pink hell, she's like out of here, quitting my job, i'm gone just like marinia was. >> some guys stumble upon a hornets nets -- >> and they decide we're going to throw a piece of wood at this thing. why? >> watch what h >>> tampa police are looking for this guy. i think what might tip them off is he's got a lot of handbags with him. this is in mahall's in tampa. >> you think was he look for a bag for his mom or girl friend? >> nope. he was going to lift these bags. police say he lifted

and then it's candy's mom who thisks and then peter who has money problems. remember how he'll have a hair-brained scheme, they'll have to pool their money and open a business, the business will end and there she goes. cindy will have to deal with a man who's angry over having lost a business. then what's going on with pora? >> hey, there, portia. what's pora doing? enjoying the single life. i can't wait. "the real hoewives of atlanta" returns sunday, november 3rd. you guys, things are really looking up for lamar odom. i know. well, according to "e! news" after the alleged drug allegation, i'm proud to say, lamar has beensober for a week. last time we talked about him, he was sober for two days. sobriety is one day at a time. he's focusing on getting healthy. i hear he's hoping to get his old life back. i hear a couple of nba teams are calling him. he still has a viable life in the nba. i heard they were talking that oprah wants him to do something on her show. i don't like that. i mean dr. drew was qualified and he could barely contain the celebrities which

mom usually tells me what to do. join the club. i'm kidding. i love your mom. we are going to try a new approach this time. now, your goal is to create a display about the life and art of van gogh, right? yeah. okay. i got your poster board right here, so pretend you're telling the story of his life to someone who has never heard of him. what do you put on that board? i see the wheels spinning, the spark of creat-- how do they get the lead in pencils? okay, let's try to stay on topic. hey, jay, look who thinks mercury is the densest planet in the solar system. i take it from your mocking tone that i am incorrect. the densest planet is earth. which makes you the densest guy on the densest planet. zing! [ chuckles ] fun. you sure mitchell won't mind me tagging along? are you kidding? he loves you. what are you worried about? i've never had a brother before. we never really hung out that much. kiddo, you are overthinking this. i just don't want to say the wrong thing. you can't. that's the beauty of having a brother. me and my brother were zinging each other all t

i can't believe your mom has a mom cave!oday i have new campbell's chunky spicy chicken quesadilla soup. she gives me chunky before every game. i'm very souperstitious. haha, that's a good one! haha! [ male announcer ] campbell's chunky soup. it fills you up right. >>> a methamphetamine epidemic has not only ravaged many of the small towns in america's heartland it has changed the face of inmate populations. at prisons like wabash valley correctional facility in indiana. but wabash houses men doing time for more serious crimes. men like jeremy blanchard. >> i have never been a drug abuser or a drunk. i knew what i done when i done it. i knew the heinous nature of what i done. i can still to this day remember nearly every blood spot that was in that house. i can remember the wallpaper, the way the bodies were laid. i can remember nearly everything that happened that night. >> blanchard has served a little more than one year of a 195-year sentence. but his facial tattoos will forever commemorate both his crime, the triple murd

we don't want you to trick any moms out there. we want the moms to know what they're doing.apping. we actually, had one of our writers, zog, try it with his mom. take a look at this. >> hey, i'm seth herzog, and this is my mom. >> keira green, and i'm about to freestyle rap. ♪ i love trains they're better than planes ♪ ♪ i stay on the ground where it's nice and sound ♪ ♪ i don't know what i'd do in a plane have to do it all over again ♪ ♪ so trains what can i say about trains ♪ ♪ they're nice and smooth nice and cushy then i sit ♪ ♪ ♪ but i don't care 'cause i'm a pound what can i say ♪ ♪ what can i do maybe i'll dance and kick off my shoe ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was actually really good. that's actually a good rap. she's got skills. that's what we're looking for. so, once you've shot your video, upload it to youtube with the title "freestyling with my mom." all right, to get more details, go to latenightjimmyfallon.com/ freestylingwithmymom. this will be fun. thank you, guys, for considering it. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be fun. it's a start o

mom is making us wear clothes from goodwill. ( bart groans ) hmm. ha-ha!died in those shirts. ( shivering ) hey, hey, hey. no outside suds! i'm sorry, moe. marge won't let me spend any money-- even counterfeit money! ( homer chuckling ) it's my money. i'm the one who earns it. drinking beer out of a thermos like an animal. ( door opens ) can you help me unload this soup from the car? there was a sale, so i bought 400 cans. marge, your penny-pinching rampage has gone too far. oh, honey, i know it's not easy, but we've got to put money away. you can't enjoy money when you're dead, so why not have fun now? don't you think you've had enough "fun"? last year, you spent $5,000 on donuts, $2,000 on scalp massages, $500 on body glitter... hey, i earn that money. while you lounge around here, doing laundry and putting up drywall, i'm at work busting my hump. oh, please. from what i hear, you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around googling your own name until lunch. ( gasps ) who told you that? you shouted it while we were making love. no

until two nights later, when she cries out for help. >> "mom, mom, my head. it's hurting."as holding it. saying "my head's hurting. my head's hurting. >> the mccrackens rush morgan to the emergency room. >> we couldn't get to the hospital fast enough. >> i carried her in. she was too lethargic to walk. >> a doctor says don't worry. >> i'm sure it's late, she's tired, she probably has a touch of the flu. >> a gut feeling tells these parents the doctor has morgan's diagnosis wrong. >> this wasn't our morgan. she's had the flu before. this wasn't how she acted. >> they ask for a ct scan of her head, but the doctor won't listen. >> what is the consequence of a doctor not listening to you? >> they're failing to hear the first manifestation of a life-threatening illness, and they're failing to register and therefore look on your body for the first clues of that and begin to order the right tests. >> after hours of begging the doctor finally does listen and orders the ct scan. here's what he missed. a blood clot inside morgan's skull. a surgery saves her life. 1 out of every 10 di

hi, mom. (keith's mom) hello-- hi, keith! what's up?s mom) nothin' much-- i was just thinkin' about you. what's the name of the song that you were saying that we should walk out to, as far as, when we exit? (keith's mom) da-da-da-dun-dun-dun-dun-- you know, that thing. do you know the name of that song? mom, you see, i wanted her-- (keith's mom) the wedding song. i wanted her to come in to it. i wanted her to come in to it, (keith's mom) huh? but she doesn't want to. that's too traditional, (keith's mom) why? 'cause she doesn't like me or my ideas. (keith's mom) well, that's supposed to be your song, not hers. you hear that? you hear that? don't talk to me. you know i hate when you do that kind of stuff in front of your mom. what, baby? don't, "what, baby," me. (keith) what? that was stupid. (keith) what-what-- i was just messin' around. that's not funny, though. i keep tellin' you, that's not funny. first of all, you know it's a huge disagreement about the music, and then you gonna be like, "mama, that's the song i want." listen, liste

mom said i had to baby-sit you.ome more pretend tea? um, it's all gone, arthur. there's only one thing to do. you must find out more about those things in omble's bag! but how? how?! ( groaning ) my brain is melting with boredom. ( gasps ) arthur, that's it! brain: hmm... yes, fascinating! it appears to be an earthy substance composed primarily of decomposed igneous and metamorphic rock. it's clay. what would omble want with a boring lump of clay? it's been molded into something. it kind of looks like the eiffel tower. the eiffel tower? that's in france, isn't it? so that's where omble's hiding. we better start biking now, arthur. i want to get there before dinner. you can't bike to france. the atlantic ocean is between here and there. and i forgot to bring the water wings! but you could talk to buster. he's actually been to france. buster: yep, it's a perfect match. ah, paris... the crepes, the croissants, the french fries. what's a croissant? a french roll, shaped like a moon. you want one? i saved it from my trip

(phone rings) hey, mom. no, mom, you're staying in the nursing home. i... i don't care. sleep. 'cause you're gross. and even if they are, so what, who are you saving yourself for? hey, look, i-i got to go. i don't know if we're coming to thanksgiving. because i don't know! she's staying in there. i know.

i'm just an everyday mom. i have had an amazing career, amazing blessings, but i am an everyday person. i have lived in everyday life and i drive an everyday car. i take my kids to school. tavis: my mom is thinking, what is tavis holding in his hand? she won't get any of it, she is in indiana. i will tell the story of what this is. speaking of moms, you took me back to my mom. i grew up in a family of nine kids. we were so poor that we picked our own apples and the like, and my mother and my grandmother, d rest her soul, my mama and big mama would be in the kitchen with these old mason jars and we made our own apple preserves. we did this as a kid. every time i see a mason jar like this, i get giddy, because it takes me back to my childhood. >> this is fig jam. i have a fig tree outside my back door and i picked some fixed this morning and i made it this morning. x i know appreciate it. you have a sweet tooth because i was 500 pounds and pregnant the last time i was on your show. tavis: in fairness to you, you

do you live with mom and dad ? no, i just live with my mom.how does she feel about the whole thing, seeing you come and go come and go to all these different schools ? well, she gets mad at me. she tells me, "why do you do that ?" and this and that. or someone looks at you or says something, just ignore them. the fact of the matter is, you need to be in school. so what i'm going to do is i'll talk to mom also. we'll go through the different options that you have, and maybe she can help you make a choice. maybe you together. i do this program because... it's my way of giving back to the community that gave so much to me. it's sort of like... i was one of them. and maybe one day they can be one of me. who in this classroom is not going to join a gang ? is not ? is not going to join a gang ? is that a promise ? yes. okay. think you've got it now ? yes, i think so. good. did you call him yet ? yes. i'm meeting him at 8:00 tomorrow night. - i still don't know how to get him to the restaurant. - you'll think of something. yes. all right. i'll show y

so you and your mom do different things. my mom and i go to marie callender's.on't know about these people. what about samantha kirsch. do you post pictures on facebook? >> yeah. >> ellen: what kind of things do you post? >> everything. concerts. bars. >> ellen: all right. what's going on here in this photo? [laughter] >> i have no explanation. [laughter] >> ellen: who is she? >> that's my best friend, rachel. >> ellen: sure, she's your best friend. we know that. what possessed her? was she looking for the -- what is she doing? >> i really don't know. >> ellen: you don't know? >> she just went in. [laughter] [cheering] [applause] >> ellen: that can happen. where is jennifer payne? where are you, jennifer payne? jennifer. how are you? good. are you nervous about the picture i'm going to show? really? i think we're not finding the best pictures, then, because you shouldn't be that nervous. this is a nice picture of you. it's not so nice of the horse. [laughter] >> ellen: so i was looking for a picture with a big ending, and i found it, so what -- do you ride a lot

you're not your mom. wow, that's your mom. oh, i just got chills. so, first off, i'm a fan.i saw you in court once. [ chuckles ] seriously? yeah. mayhew vs. propyltech. you are a good lawyer. if you'd have handled my divorce, this house would be twice as big. oh, he's better than good. try winning an argument with him. last night, i wanted to have indian for dinner -- and we're talking again. top of your class at cornell and columbia law. had your pick of jobs but instead chose to work in environmental law until last month. and he used to be a really great figure skater. why'd you quit? his sister lost interest, and then there was -- he means my job. you can tell me about figure skating, too. um, well, it was -- she did lose interest. that's enough. okay. oh, my gosh! i didn't know you guys were gonna be here. hola, claire. mwah! hi, lily. mwah, mwah! i had enough basketball for one day. oh, i know. come here, sweetie. oh, sweet thing, you love me, and you want me to buy you a dress. ay, but i'm gonna buy her some shoes first. what's that, lily? do you want me to buy you a d

mom never questioned bobby again.two can play at this game. [ female announcer ] swap one snack a week for a yoplait. and everybody wins. yoplait. it is so good. of the woman killed during a car chase in the nation's capital want to know why she had to die. mirium carey was shot and killed after she rammed a barrier at the white house. her sisters said she showed no unstable andg and didn't deserve to die. >> deadly physical force was not the ultimate rerecourse and it didn't have to be. you have to ask yourselves as americans is it okay for that to happen? it can happen to you. if we are okay with that, then i feel sorry for all of us. >> her mother told abc news that mirium suffered from postpartum depression last summer. abc news learned mirium was hospitalized three times for mental issues since last december. >>> and there was a road rage attack on a family. one of the bikers' helmet cameras captured this video of sunday's violent chain of events. it included an off duty narcotics detective. the under cuff office