you have mommy and daddy. not just mommy and daddy -- it's mommy and daddy and... [ with high-pitched voice ] se?or good news! [ singing in spanish ] beso, beso, beso, beso. se?or good news has something he wants to tell you, mearth. what about that, se?or good news? why should i tell him? he's your child. take responsibility. are you chickening out? you got it, sweet shorts. mearth, sweetheart... have you ever noticed that you aren't exactly like all the other kids? of course. for instance, the other day in the market, i was the only kid that couldn't get in the wire basket. the reason is, you see -- min -- the reason is, son -- me. i'm not exactly a hometown boy. i'm not even in the ballpark, as they say. i'm from another planet. no!! s?. stop that, daddy. stop it. you mustn't. you mustn't kid around like that with me. sweetheart, daddy isn't kidding. maybe mommy can explain it better. look over here, mearth. mork: see, mommy's using visual aides. this is the planet earth. you were born here, and so was i. a

if mearth would call me "mommy." mearth? [ giggles ] "mommy," mearth. mommy. mommy! mm-hmm. daddy! mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, your grandioseness! hello, mork. you seem to be in an unusually good mood. hitting the ginger ale again? oh, no, sir. i'm high on life. just hold on to your fish sticks -- i had a baby boy! a baby?! what a completely outdated concept. i know you're gonna love him, because, judging by his size, he could be yours. ee-eee! here he is at two hours old. he seems very alert for a child his age. oh, yes, sir. ee-eee! here is his first piggyback ride. and here's a family portrait. ee-eee! this one was snapped just before we were airborne. well, mork, i must admit, he is rather exceptional. oh, sir, i'm glad you think so, because mindy and i want you to be the godfather. me?! absolutely not! i am not getting involved er. oh, i see. he does look a little like me, doesn't he? well, sir, especially around the equator. oh, a check! oh, thank you, godfather! mmm! mmm! mmm! lululululu! oh, sir, this

mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. hi, sweetie. i'm so glad we're going. it's getting late. let's go, let's go. come on. oh, my gosh, let's go! thought kids hate to go clothes-shopping. i thought we were going to drag him out of here. that's why i told him we were going to the circus. [ groans ] mearth: this is a joke, and i'm the butt of it. don't be like that. i think you look very handsome. doesn't he, daddy? yes. [ mockingly ] yes. what does he know? he promised to take me to the circus. that's what your mommy told me. oh, uh, sir? we're ready to be altered. altered? like mrs. simmons' cat? so, what do you think? that fits like a glove! you've gotta be -- you could wear that home! you've gotta be putting me on. look at this. the shoulders need to be taken in. sure. yeah. okay. the sleeves could go up. okay, sleeves are up. here. here. the buttons could be moved over. when you're done. she acts like she's your mother. she does, doesn't she? i can't believe it. look at all these scribbly marks he put all over me. i feel like some kind of rotten subway. you know something?

mommy! mommy. momm [ car engine starts ] goodbye, mommy. goodbye, mommy! [ machine blips ] [ normal voice ] goodbye, mindy. well, good night, mindy. well, bye, dan. [ music playing on television ] oh, goodbye. well, if i was asleep, then the tv was watching me. how was your movie? we didn't go to the movies. we just talked. actually, dan talked, i listened. i told him i'm not going to marry him, mork. bummer. n. no, that was just the point. all night long, dan just kept talking about babies, and then i realized that he never talked about us. he wasn't into having a wife as much as he wanted a family, and i want to be a couple before i'm a group. i'm sorry you lost your husband. did my becoming a child affect your decision? well, i have to admit, it opened my eyes. yeah, it's pretty tough being a kid, too, but you made it easy. you know something? what? you're going to make a terrific mother. oh, mork. a toast... to motherhood? maybe. mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. mork calling orson. come in, orson. what did you learn about earth t

- mommy! mommy! mommy! come here quick! hurry! run! - where did it come from? - there's the answer. - it's my pony. look! just what i wished for. the pony belongs to this man, angel. - it happens every day, ma'am. he's a pony a thousand kids have wished for. you can't blame them. what's her name? - kathy. - kathy, honey, would you take to have your picture taken on this little fellow? - go ahead, kathy. it'll give you a chance to sit on it anyway. - three for a dollar, ma'am. i make them up real nice. nice little frame and all. - i guess so. - you've got to have a cowboy hat on now, come on. swing right on there. up you go. yay. - [mother] oh, that's - hey, you look pretty good upregun tessie. - push your hat back so we can see your face. - can you turn your head l? - e. - [mother] that's wonderful, kathy. you look like a real horseman. - this is the last one. now, everybody smile. there, that was a good one. nice family picture. - thrfulas - no, ma'am, you can pay me when the pictures is delivered. he's a lover boy, that little fellow. - i hate to break this u

okay, mearth, hand mommy your coat. [ gasps ] oh, mommy! the tooth fairy has been keeping up with inflation. gee, i wonder who could be behind all this? surprise! no, not really. oh, son, look! all this is for you. no, never. even that big tv? yes. you'll finally see all the lines in dick clark's face. mork, why does our place look like bob barker's den? i don't know, min. maybe bob has the same couch. ride on this great, big, green grasshopper. isn't it marvelous, min? i feel just like unicef. i'm sorry, mork, but this stuff goes back. not the harp, though, min. not the harp! you don't understand. mearth is a musical prodigy. we were going past the music store -- wait. mearth? mearth, son? will you play that concerto you wrote for mommy? surely. okay. this is for you and mommy. ? ? there's snow on the windowsill ? ? winter's coming there's uncle bill ? ? listen to the leaves they're all gone ? ? as i sing this autumn song ? ? there's winter snowballs, snowbells ? ? everybody dancing in the snow ? ? and i see you ? wasn't that beautiful? he

mommy! mommy, mommy, mommy, have i missed you! i missed you, too, sweetheart. that's nice of you to say that. your room is a mess! you want to tell me why you were bowling in the house? yes. it happened to be league night and all the lanes were spoken for. mr. smarty-pants, you have an answer for everything, don't you? ha ha! how about this one? is 186,000 miles per second, and the speed of a slug is one inch an hour, how long has robert conrad had that battery on his shoulder? what are you talking about? this is no time for brain teasers. go reason with your son. right, mind. consistency. i remember that. don't worry. i've seen "ordinary people" twice. son? yeah...dad? how would you feel if you had your little friends over here and they saw this pigsty? you said something about having some friends over? didn't he? sure. how about even a sleepover? if you could prove to us that you're a responsible young man who takes a little pride in his possessions, then maybe we'll see. me too? no! mearth, you think about what we said. bye-bye, son. bye, dad. mork, you hand

mommy, mommy, mommy! i'm getting carsick. i am, i am, i am. you know, sweetheart, so am i. i have come to the realization that i don't have the ability to teach you how to drive. in fact, i know for sure i don't have the patience. i think you should go to a driving school. the lesson's over, mind? yes. you know what that means? back to the grand prix! [ makes engine noises ] oh, what a day -- that you say -- when you drive -- in your way -- you can say -- [ knock on door ] hey, hey! as i live and breathe -- todd norman taylor. tnt -- that's my initials and my lifestyle -- a megaton of fun and a pretty fair limbo dancer. hey, where's my hug? we're a couple of today guys -- no macho hang-ups. how i missed you! well, i wish we could share something shallow right but my driving instructor is on the way over. oh, yeah? well, time's up. [ imitating tires screeching ] oh, huzzah! huzzah boom ba! [ as surfer dude ] well, fer sure. totally gnarly. [ normal voice ] wait a minute. i got to show you something. i've already picked out my bumper sticker. "aliens make better lovers." and

mearth: mommy! mommy! mommy! mindy: mearth! [ gasps ] i'm sorry, sweetheart. my tiny heart left my body. [ laughs ] i'm sorry. i didn't meant to frighten you. i've been waiting downstairs. i thought you had stepped out for a moment. i was irrigating my ant farm. [ laughs ] good. before the winos wake up? here's your jacket. oh, you're gonna love flying your kite in the park, mearth. i don't wanna run, just walk briskly. oh, hi. what's wrong? nothing. good. we're going. don't go out there! there's someone following me! mork, you have been doing this for three days. that doesn't mean he's going to do anything. look at reagan. oh, min, you don't know neptunians. they end their national anthem with a human sacrifice. mork, you can stay in here and be afraid of your shadow, or you can come with us. bye. okay. come on, mearth. bye. see ya, dad. there's no wind out there, anyway. it's tracy. please open the door. [ imitating child ] i can't. my mommy and daddy are sleeping. please, i have to talk to you. let me in. i'm alone. oh, sure, and tip o'neill wears tapered s

- aren't you going to kiss mommy goodnight? (marvin laughs) - sure. - you'll have to admit, our dog never did that. - good night. (audience laughter) - jonathan. i know how fond you are of marvin, but there's something that i think you ought to know. - what's that, dear? and that's not all. i also found a gun, a blackjack, and brass knuckles. - very upsetting to me. imagine having a wife who goes through someone else's pockets. - darling. you're missing the whole point. how about all those terrible things that he has? there's no such thing as a bad boy. (harp plays) now, let's go to bed. - all right, darling. oh, no, no, wait a minute. you'd better put my jewelry in the safe. - okay, darling. - here. - this. - the ring. - mm-hmm. - and the earrings. - hello daddy, hello mommy. where's the chicken leg? - the chicken leg? - this is the refrigerator, isn't it? (audience laughter) - the refrigerator? - well, you see, at the orphanage, they always used to lock up the food. - you see, darling? - no, daddy? - this is a safe, where mom

kathy: i'm kinda nervous too, aren't you mommy? (laughter) margaret: no, i- (laughter) margaret: if your through eating, you can run next door for me to myrtle davis, ask if i can borrow some sugar. kathy: sugar? margaret: and some turpentine. (laughter) bud: well, didn't your swap shop have any binoculars at all? kippy: just some expensive ones, 25 bucks on up! but mad charlie finally agreed to buy the skates. here, seven bucks isn't much, but if you've got 95 cents to go with it, it'll do the job. bud: well how do you mean? kippy: they got some binoculars exactly like your dad's on sale at the surplus store for $7.95. that's probably where he got his. bud: well why didn't you buy some? kippy: well, they weren't open tonight! invite him in? bud: oh he was in a big hurry, had to rush. jim: what is all this rush and hurry, is it something catching? i've never seen you and betty so- (doorbell) (laughter) betty: i'll get it! (laughter) betty: hello ralph! jim: the intercontinental missile project could use her! (laughter) betty: forgi

yes, mommy. but what difference make now? i'm truly sorry i wasn't the mommy you needed to help you through your fir i ask you to forgive me. oh, mommy, i love you so much. do you love fitz? that is his name, isn't it? james fitzpatrick. mrs. lindstrom, i'm afraid i broke my promise to you. i had to young fitzpatrick. he was so lovesick, he'd have left this train. we'd never seen hide nor hair of him again. i didn't want him to leaea inga until he knew exactly why you had treated him as you had. he didn't go away? no. no, he hasn't gone away. as a matter of fact, i think he's probably if she'll please become my wife." and he wanted you to bring with you a dowry, at dowry is to be... little bo, oh, mommy! oh, mommy, what should i do? yes. ig? yes! lennart? yes! britt? yes! margit? yes! margaretha? nt to get married too! margaretha: mommy, when can i get married? life is re life is , and the grave is not thy goal. "dust thou art; to d dt returneth" ? roll along, w won train ? ? rollin' over prairie where there ain't no grass ?

private drama ♪ ♪ hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ♪ ♪ the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy'sar oh, baby baby, this is viva vendetta ♪ ♪ for this is love or it's world war zero ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ah, ah, ah ah, ah, ah ♪ ♪ i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in my own private drama ♪ ♪ hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ♪ ♪ the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ♪ ♪ i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in my own private drama ♪ ♪ hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ♪ ♪ the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> this is "nightline." >> tonight, kate speaking out. those adorable toddlers now relentless teens and tweens. >> no i'm not doing this! >> kate gosselin addressing reports of alleged child abuse. the family's strained relationship with her ex-husband jon. and trying to date as a single mother of eight. plus watch and learn. it's sex ed for the internet. >> masturbation. sexual orientation and gender identity. >> a youtube sensation teaching kids about the birds and the bee

a designer mommy dress. - designer mommy dress, come here to papa. (lips smacking and moaning) (knocking) - [katherine] come in. - oh, there you are, are you all right, katherine? - [katherine] mm-hmm. - [george] yes. - [george] we're gonna have our baby. - oh, congratulations. - [cassie] how wonderful. - [katherine] oh, thank you. - why's everyone so surprised? we've been having this baby forever. - the first little papadapolis is on its way. (all laughing) - ooh, ooh. - it's saturday morning and it's time for you to relax a little bit. webster will be up with your little brekkie-wekkie, sweetheart, and i'm on my way down to the station to do just one little sports story, and then i'm coming back to play saturday afternoon matinee. - (gasping) you mean-- - yes, beauty and the beast. - hey! boy, just in time. - i beg your pardon? - well, you said babies come when two people love each other, and the way you two guys were kissing, we could have triplets. - he's right, you know. - [katherine] george? - [george] what? - [katherine] relax. - yeah, george,

mommy was really moved... to tears. i think this has given your mother a new appreciation of our culture. welcome back, sir, to our continuing study of what makes mork and mindy's marriage the greatest success story since ethel merman's disco album. your promotion is riding on this report? i'd rather you didn't, sir. you see, the next ingredient is often the primary motivation for marriage in the first place. her family has money? no, i'm talking about romance. in too many marriages, the flame of romance flickers and dies, but ours burns hotter than an aluminum bench in cairo. [ fanfare ] [ music plays softly ] orson: cut! mork, you're lying. sir, what gives you the absurd idea that i'd have to exaggerate about my love life? in black and white. there are certain things that should remain private, unless, of course, you're mr. and mrs. erik estrada. this has been very educational. i'll get back to you on your promotion. you can't walk out now before the grand finale -- compatibility. "a noun -- state of existing together

. >> she says, mommy, they're lying to you. he was choking me while he was pulling my teeth. >> reporter: you said the doctor was choking you? >> two hands? one hand? >> one hand. >> i said i want my mommy. >> reporter: what did he say? >> he said no. >> reporter: it's hard for you to hear that? >> yeah. i trusted hip. and to know that i put her through that by trusting him, it hurts. >> on the way home, brandy takes a closer look inside her mouth, and she says she makes a grim discovery. >> all four on the bottom and all four on the top >> reporter: she was scheduled to go in for one tooth extraction? >> one bottom right tooth. and come out missing all of then. >> reporter: brandy wanted to see the dentist, but the attorney she calls won't touch the case. >> what you have in his case is five-year-old, six-year-old, seven-year-olds who must confront a dentist that's been a dentist in this town for 50 years. it's the worst he said she said to be a part of. determined to raise hell and turns her mini van into a rolling billboard.

mommy, you did it. is adele about to become a mommy again? >> did you catch that? last night at the last north american stop on the adele live tour she dropped what sounds like a baby bombshell. a rep for adele told us, quote, no comment and not sure if adele is serious, although -- she did sip celebratory wine during the simon caneccy and her son will have time together while she's on break. adele goes back on tour late february. here is mommy in the making again, mila. her husband were spotted withha lunch bag in l.a. and a source tells "e.t.," the birth is & imminent and could come as early as next week. the new baby will be their first 2-year-old daughter wyatt who turned ashton into a doting dad. >> you sing lullabies? >> finally, corden gets a new baby. not a child, but another hosting gig. >> you are hosting an awards show. >> james will host the grammys airing on cbs february 12th and let's face it, ll cool j needed a little break after hosting for five consecutive years. corden is in good with music's biggest names thanks to his cal genuinely loves musicia

. >> why mommy better watch out. channel to have a meal. >>> it's one thing i know for sure, my little sister has my bad, or different. i think it's something that little sisters learn early on. >> you're going to get in trouble, emma! >> yep, it starts early. >> it sure does. mom is getting emma in trouble. little sister is like, no! back it up. >> no! >> that's so sweet. >> it is really cute. then you see little sister going in to comfort she's hugging emma and still lets mom know. no, mama, do not mess with emma. >> is big sister playing along? >> yes, they have the camera set up. they know little sister is going to stand up for big sister, so big sister is playing right into mom's hand and little sister reaches her hand over and pops mama. i think that's how we know this >> mommy, no. >> okay, fine. >> finally mama backs off and lets her know it's all good. this video is cute. people are amused by it. it was posted to facebook and so far it's been viewed millions and millions of times. >> no, mommy! no! no! >> th

it was posted to facebook and so far it's been viewed millions and millions of times. >> no, mommy! no! no! >> thanks for watching "right this minute." kendis. improving conditions across the northeast, good news for travellers here, and lake effect snow as well as breezy conditions tapering off, but a developing storm system brings breezy conditions as well as wintery precipitation in the lakes region and heavier rain in the central plains, and that system brings stormy conditions in the lonestar state, as for the busiest travel day of the year, we are looking at

the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? ? ? ? i want to be like the soldiers on the screen ? ? it's my private ho, ho-ly war baby, this is viva vendetta ? ? for this is love or it's world war zero ? ? ? ? ? ? ah, ah, ah ah, ah, ah ? ? i want to be a celebrity martyr my own private drama ? ? hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ? ? the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in my own private drama ? ? hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ? ? the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? >>> this is "nightline." >> tonight, kate speaking out. those adorable toddlers now relentless teens and tweens. >> no i'm not doing this! >> kate gosselin addressing reports of alleged child abuse. the family's strained relationship with her ex-husband jon. and try mother of eight. plus watch and learn. it's sex ed for the internet. >> masturbation. sexual orientation and gender identity. >> a youtube sensation teaching kids about the birds a

the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? >>> this is "nightline." >> tonight, kate speaking out. those adorable toddlers now relentless teens and tweens. >> no i'm not doing this! >> kate gosselin addressing reports of alleged child abuse. the family's strained relationship with her ex-husband jon. and trying to date as a mother of eight. plus watch and learn. it's sex ed for the internet. >> masturbation. sexual orientation and gender identity. >> a youtube sensation teaching kids about the birds and the bees. >> i'm trying to cover all the things i wish that i had known what i was about 12 or 13. >> now an advocate against sexual assault and harassment. >>> take it yeezy.

or give me -- daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? ? i testify like a lullaby of memories broadcasting live and it's on my radio ? ? i got my photo bomb i got my vietnam i love a lie just like anybody else ? give me fame shoot me up to entertain ? ? i am a semi-automatic lonely boy you're dead i'm well fed ? ? give me death or give me -- daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? broadcasting from my room and playing with my toys i want to be a celebrity martyr ? ? t my own private drama ? ? hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ? ? the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? ? ? ? i want to be like the soldiers on the screen ? ? it's my private ho, ho-ly war oh, baby ? for this is love or it's world war zero ? ? ? ? ? ? ah, ah, ah ah, ah, ah ? ? i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in ? hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang ? ? the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ? i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man in my own private drama ? ? hurrah bang bang h

tell her mommy's fine. don't scare her. miles... give me a kiss. i'm counting on you. she'll be back on her feet soon, i promise. clock activated. chief. i heard about keiko's accident. how is she? julian said she'll be home soon. that is good. if there is anything i can do... i wish there was. i really do. i'd better get going. i'm falling behind schedule. computer, time remaining? eight hours, 22 minutes and three seconds remain. chief! sorry. i didn't mean to startle you. rom, what are you doing here? reporting for my next assignment. i've completed calibration tests on the inertial coupling ports on all three upper pylons. how did you finish so quickly? i just did the work. i didn't allow myself to get caught up in any of the distracting discussions the other workers engage in. ferengi can be very focused, especially when no one bothers to talk to them. i see. not that i mind. i'm used to being ignored. is something wrong, chief? i can work slower if you want me to. rom... i need your help and i need you to keep your mouth shut. can i count on you? is that a trick

kathy: oh mommy! come here mommy, i want to show you something. i've got a puppet stage, want to see a show? margaret: oh not right now dear, i want to talk to your father. james: what do you want to see that old [ripperday] for? ow, ow, ow, ow! and now tell me woman, where have you been when you should be home cooking your husband a fine chicken dinner? margaret: well i was -- oh, come on up out of there. james: yes, woman? margaret: there's the silliest looking puppet i've seen yet. kathy: do it again, daddy. margaret: oh, speaking of silly things, guess what glenn phillips signed up for today. james: the navy. kathy: school? why, mrs. phillips is an old lady. margaret: she's not older than i am. kathy: well gosh, what i mean is, well she couldn't fit into those little chairs. margaret: she's not starting in kindergarten, she's just going to take a class in junior college, world history. she'll just be there an hour each morning. she kept suggesting that i take a class too. james: well why don't you do it? margaret: oh, no. i wouldn't have time.

you're going to pick mommy up? you're going to pick mommy up? you know, i just hurt for that >> the investigation now is focusing on the 67-year-old driver of the school bus. police want to know if he had some kind of medical emergency while driving the bus. >>> an 11-year-old girl who set off pepper spray inside a school bus will not be charged. 30 children were taken to the hospital as a precaution. montgomery county police say the spray accidently went off in the parking lot of watkins mills elementary school. >>> all right. the curse is over! the chicago cubs are world series champions. they defeated the cleveland indians in a do or die game seven that ended early this morning. look at the fans outside of wrigley field. they went wild! look at that. no surprise there. jay gray is live in chicago where it was pretty much a huge party. i'm sure it is still going on right now, jay. the party may last forever here. there are still people in the streets here in wrigleyville celebrating a cubs world championship and they've been out here since the

"go, mommy go." whispering in your ear to do that's. >> all the time. >> reporter: talk about terrible twos. >> demanding and won't take no for an answer. that's my boy. >> reporter: since we first told this story, workers have completed the park and most of the homework house. ellen donated a whole building that the serve as village headquarters. and mama shu won an award for humanitarian of the year. >> the avalon village is for the people. >> reporter: she has much to be thankful for this weekend. and even more to look forward >> i want it to be something infectious. i want other people ton what they can do to their neighborhoods. you can do it. >> reporter: take it from a bubbling fountain. >> i know. >> reporter: of living proof. steve hartman, "on the road" in highland park, michigan. >> quijano: inspiring. that's the cbs evening news. for scott pelley, i'm elaine quijano. thanks for watching. this is "jeopardy!" today's contestants are -- a technical engineer from boulder, colorado... a regist