mr. darling. how are you? hey, there, charlene. a lot of pollywogs is frogs since last we laid eyes on you. well, it's nice to see you, too. hey, boys. easy, boys. you know, every time we come to town they just get all het up. yeah, they're a wild bunch. boy, you're here early. now you made us put lights on the truck. it sure beats having doug out there on the hood holding out a lantern. he's always complaining about bugs hitting him. then he'd get acting cute and fall off about every other chuckhole. yeah, that doug's a caution. what brings you to town this time? well, sheriff, we... what i got to tell you is private. uh, goob... don't you have something to do? no, not a thing, andy. you got big ears, ain't you? rs. boy, like the sheriff said, you got things to do. well, yeah. i have. i'll, i'll see you, goob. well? now, this is just 'twixt us. oh, i wouldn't say anything. cross your heart, hope to jump a stump? yes, i do. well, sheriff... land to the mayberry county government for $300. ( whistles ) american. just come to town to

mr. addams... hush, my darling. ivy-covered cottage beside a lovely swamp. but, mr. addams... hush, my darling. we can find our own little secluded hideaway, far from everyone, where the magic stillness of the night is broken only by the merry buzzing of the tsetse fly. but, mr. addams... yes, my darling. what is it? you're breaking my back. gomez. excuse me. ink? i think it's dreadful. well, i was doing a lot better until her back gave out. i'll show you what i mean. gomez, what's gotten into you? you're acting disgracefully. i am? yes, you are. it's as though you don't care at all. it's as bad as that? it most certainly is! if you'd only make some effort... just watch me. i'll show you what the man you married is really like. her, our magical moments, gone, (glass shattering) broken, smashed to bits. pardon me. good god, morticia, what a performance! worthy of a sarah bernhardt, a greta garbo, a mamie van doren. oh, gomez, why? why? why? why not? why not? why not? (whispering) how was that? my heart belongs to what's-her-name! please, gomez, please, dear, think of all of our happy moments toge

mr. coleman plays in the private casino tonight. hat he leaves the island tonight. do that for me, and i promise you, i'll... no deal, old darling. the game goes on as usual, arrgghh! mr. ambassador, where will the international security conference take place next month? do you want me to start the picture again? no, no, please! hotel de la ville la vie, switzerland. excellent, ieato, excellent. you've just guaranteed half my membership in central. do as thorough a job on kuryakin, and i promise you, it won't be forgotten. see, my darling? my plans are beginning to pay off. very soon, i'll be at the top of the ladder, and then we'll see just how deep your convictions are. oh, it's almost time for the private game. your precious playboy of the western world will be there, won't he? he'll be there. who knows, he may even win. mr. coleman, i'm delighted you accepted my invitation. thank you. my dear, good evening. old darling, tonight, gentlemen, mademoiselle, you're about to experience the unique pleasure, one which only a true gambler can appreciate. as you will see, tonight you are playing only with white and black chips. from now

mr. darling: nissan happens to be the first through the door number 10 downing street. to make a decision in relation to investments. already, other manufacturers are saying well, you know, what about us? the big thing here is even if the u.k. government believes is important to stay in this in the market and the customs union, which i agree with, you got to face the fact where it obligates 28 other member states and we don't know their position either. what i think is urgently required is a statement from the a government as to where it stands, which ought to be debated in the house of commons in parliament in the u.k. >> what do you say to shareholders who want less earnings volatility in your stock? >> the more we can accelerate the disposal of the legacy, the more we focus on customer business where we really are adding value to the customers through expertise as much as the balance sheets, the more we can stabilize earnings and attempt to control it. other areas of earnings volatility is on the investment side. we announced a year ago we would reduce our hedge fund

- of course darling, but the time you get home, mrs. blanchard will be buried for the last time. - ah, bye. - bye, bye. maybe the secret vice angle for mrs. blanchard is a good one. maybe she was an alcoholic or something. mr. blanchard's university career was being destroyed, so, he finally had to take steps. (typewriter clacking) (mysterious music) - where are you going? - no place, especially. just, get back to your room at once. - charles, charles, i promise to behave. oh charles, i can't stand it any longer. i can't stand it. if i don't get out of this house, i'll go mad! oh charles, i want to make friends, go shopping-- - shopping. - be like other women, don't you understand? - but you are not like other women. other women do not get themselves into a drunken stupor a spree and wind up almost running a child down. other women help their husband's careers, they do not destroy them. now, get back to your room. - no, no, no! i will not be kept a prisoner in this house any longer. i am going to tell the world what you have done to me.

mr. mayor. darling, show his honor that ridiculous tax bill on our house. here you are, sir. ridiculous. it is out. just a moment. you never even looked at it. well, i didn't have to. i've looked at your house. we'll cut it in half. the house? no, no, dear lady. the tax bill. a-a-as a matter of fact, we'll cancel it altogether. or, to be really fair, we'll send you a rebate. great scott, look at the time! i'm going to be late for that cornerstone ceremony. do forgive me, do forgive me. goodbye. clyde! incompetence in office. the bane of our existence. to think that in the last election i voted for that unmitigated scoundrel. not only that, darling, you voted for him twice. well, i cast my first vote so early it slipped my mind. somewhere, someplace there must be a politician but who? i don't know who. but if i find him, he's going to get some mighty strong support in this coming election. now, darling, put your hand up like this and repeat after me. if i'm elected, ladies and gentlemen... if i'm elected, ladies and gentlemen... let's face it. today you can't be elected withou

this, old darling, is phase two. phase two, mr. kuryakin, is the application of the individual's fear. you'd be amazed what some people are afraid of. t me out, please! stop... stop them! central was delighted when i informed them you were my guest. they were sure you'd be a veritable fountain of valuable information about u.n.c.l.e. well, you shouldn't promise what you can't deliver. oh, i shall deliver the ambassador, mr. kuryakin. kuryakin is undergoing preliminary tests now. that's right. of course i'll get the information. and the new code, yes, of course. and the plans for operation deathwatch. yes, of course central will have the information. of course, and in short order, you can take my word for that. fail? of course i won't fail. i can foresee nothing that could possibly stand in my way.

darling. arrivederci. ciao. mr. solo. yes, sir? mr. solo, about that photograph. we've tried to interpret the symbols result: scientifically, they're meaningless.. i see, sir, just something for the family album. i think not. so far, you've followed only one of the four winds. this may be the first piece of a jigsaw puzzle. in splendid array, the soldiers of the queen are marching proudly in london's oldest traditional pageant, the lord mayor's procession. i didn't get to see much of rome. you could at least show me carnaby. i'm sorry, sandy, not right now. i'm not gonna stay cooped up here. i'm gonna run away. this is london, this is where the action is. our orders are, where the action is, you ain't. what have we here? my...my goodness. hey, look! here? -right there! that wasn't me, it was a young gentleman in the crowd. oh, daughter number two. oh, good. of the situation. here's a counselor. i like that fringe. i was on duty in the strand. rocession, and when the coach stood level with me, it stopped, and out of it stepped the accused. she was wearing a black a

mrs. kravitz. mm-hmm. mmm. darling, it's delicious. oh, are you sure it isn't overcooked? the truth is, you usually undercook turkey. uh, this is just the way i like it. you mean, you've hated all the other turkeys i've ever cooked for you? no, they were all delicious. this one, naturally, is super-delicious. oh, thank you, sweetheart. oh, well, it's better than those tough wild turkeys we had in plymouth. aunt clara, will you please pass the cranberry sauce and, uh, talk about something else? now, christmas will be here soon. now, i have an idea, uh, where to spend it that would be very enjoyable and very educational for tabitha, too. now, look here. now, uh, how many children, uh, have the opportunity to meet, uh, santa claus? and after all, the, uh, north pole isn't so very far away. we could all go there the day before christmas. m ? boy, the way glenn miller played ? ? songs that made the hit parade ? ? guys like us, we had it made ? ? those were the days ? ? and you knew where you were then ? ? girls were girls and men were men ? ? mister, we could use a man ? ? like

mr. donfield, my dear. very well, darling. - who is the other one? - napoleon solo. agent with the u.n.c.l.e. u.n.c.l.e, ah? obviously, assigned to protect to mr. donfield. a little too obvious, i think. security organization be assigned to cover an american project? interesting question, excellency. yes, and you might trouble yourself to find out if our friend has returned from his exploration with an interesting answer. yes, sir. thank you. do not drink the champagne. merely dip your finger in and taste it. - sas-s. - cyanide. 'it will be the first of many attempts on your life.' i'm not naive, sir, it is possible that you might have put the poison into the drink? perhaps this will help convince you that i did not. colonel mikolavich donjev, eh? how long been assigned to supervising diplomatic personnel abroad? five years. state secret police much longer. that is not generally known. we're still indebted to you, your excellency for heading the department of deviationists. you may tell general kolodin, i don't require watching by the running dogs of his secret police

mr. sulu? sulu! ruth? jim, darling, it is me. captain's log. stardate 3025.8. investigation of this increasingly unusual planet continues, and we are seeing things that cannot possibly exist, yet they are undeniably r [beeps] mccoy, do you read me? , how can it be you? how could you... possibly be here? you haven't aged. it's been 15 years. it doesn't matter. none of that matters. [beeps] kirk here. what? did you find mr. sulu? no, but i'm sure he's all right. sir? are you all right? yes, i'm fine. [beeps] rodriguez to captain kirk. yes, mr. rodriguez. well, birds, a whole flock of them. don't you like birds, mr. rodriguez? owed-- then, offhand, i'saouinstruments are defective. there are indeed life forms on this planet. sir, uh... our surveys couldn't have been that wrong. mr. rodriguez, have the search parties rendezvous at the glade. i'd like some answers to all this. aye aye, sir. you have to go? i don't want to. you'll see me again if you want to. you haven't told me... you haven't told me... do what you have to do... [beeps] kirk here. spock: captain. yes

oh, uh...i forgot to tell you, darling, the, uh-- mr. salvatori just delivered the bottle. oh, i can't wait to see what it's like. uh-uh-uh. you can wait until tomorrow. we're late. come on-- oh, darling. the major was very awfully anxious about his bottle. i know. i bet it's like a blanket to him. you know? it gives him a sense of security? amanda, leave the psychoanalyzing to me. hm? we're late. give you the bottle in the morning. when they get back from the party, what's the first thing mrs. bellows is gonna do? take off her girdle. roger, she's going to open the bottle. and guess who's gonna come out? well, i have another uncle in the real estate business. we've got to get that bottle right away. you said it was in dr. bellows' house. yeah, that's right. well, what are we gonna do? how are we gonna get it? we're gonna break in. oh. no, we're not. no, no. give me that. wait. i'm not going to break in. you're going to break in. i'm not going to break in. get the flashlight. john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic! but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got ano

(orchestral music) - [mrs goodheart] your new home, darling. now come right in. - there, here we are, marvin. - oh, gee, this is a nice place. here! beautiful, daddy and mommy. - jonathan, call the governess. - oh, oh, yes. marvin, i have a surprise for you. - [marvin] really? - oh, miss thompson? - daddy? - that's not a toy. that's your governess. your governess. your governess! - i'm sorry daddy. i'm terribly sorry. - now, we'll go and get your room ready. - [mrs goodheart] come along, dear. (butler coughs) who are you? - i am the butler. - the butler, huh? well just don't stand there. go and make me a martini. (audience laughter) yeah, i said, "make me a martini," and put a cookie in it. i'm a child. don't stand there! - what happened? - oh, that son of yours kicked me. oh, sir, he's a very bad boy. - please. - if you say so, sir. ow. - all right, seven thirty. time for you to go to bed. - go to bed, daddy, go to bed. - no! she means you. - oh. - good night. - good night, daddy. i'll get my bag. good night. - [jonathan] good night. wait, mar

mrs. anthony nelson. darling, i would like you to meet mrs. nelson. this is mrs. anthony nelson. this is tony's wife. oh! i will make him so happy. jeannie! oh. good evening, master. he life of me, figure out what i did with them. i left them upstairs, i left them downstairs. uh, jeannie it was in a little envelope about this big with a red stripe on it. said "confidential." no. no. isn't that funny? i wonder what-- master? yeah? sit down, master. hm? you need a haircut. jeannie, i haven't got time for a haircut. oh, your hair is much too long. now, don't you put those things on my head. oh, neatness counts. i haven't-- i really haven't got time. i've gotta get back to the base. i just came back to-- to get a clean shirt and pick up some papers. i'm going night flying tonight. night flying? for night flying you need a haircut and a manicure. oh, uh, thank you, jeannie, but for night flying i have my own barber. i'll look downstairs. just a tiny haircut. oh. a trim? all right, i'll change my shirt first. ah! will you be out late, master? yes. you might say that. ah, yes, i'm going

mrs. stephens. hi, darling! hi, sweetheart. what are you doing home so early? i sneaked away to watch "hoho the clown" with you. well, isn't that nice? is he gonna reveal the publicity stunt? mm-hmm. and he's going to say, "in the interest of fair play, "every loyal viewer who called in or wrote in to complain will receive, absolutely free, a brand-new tabitha doll." oh, quick! come here. sit down. come on. sit, like i told you. if you're gonna watch it, you have to sit. ho, ho, ho! i'm hoho the clown! [ kids booing ] all you wonderful booers will be happy to know that each and every one of you will receive a new tabitha doll, absolutely free! [ kids cheering ] ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! that's rather a cute idea. whose was it? larry's. well, it persuaded mr. solow to keep his account with us. [ chuckles ] why is hoho's picture -- and mine is, uh -- darling -- oh. i don't know. i fixed it this morning. well, i'll just fix it again. [ ding! ] sam, about your mother -- well, d-darrin, i-i didn't know any, uh -- not in front of the baby. -- captions by vitac voil?! h

mr. solo, that i won't tolerate anything more. i'll get the light, dear. all right, darling. take the girl into the other room. she stays with me. you are in no position to give orders, mr. morton. keep her company. brian. now, look, krohler, taking me is part of the game, but laura has no relationship to u.n.c.l.e. you're engaged to be married. that has nothing to do with it. oh, but it has everything to do with it. you see, it cost me a lot of time to get those submarine plans. i was all set to deliver them i want those plans quickly and with the least amount of effort. you will get them for me. you're out of your mind. there's nothing you can do to me that'll make me sell out. to you, mr. morton, perhaps not. but there is your fiancee. but you knew that was coming all long, didn't you? well, the girl impressed me. strong will, good streak of independence, jives with her background information. although there's nothing much here. we didn't have much time, only got the basic facts. they don't appear compromising. what about the men in her life? a girl as good looking as all t

mrs. stephens. . hello, darling. throw in a million for me. i call. [ laughs ] i was bluffing. darrin, uh, would you please take these into the kitchen for me? sure. if you can't wait, deal me out. we'll wait. got nothing else to do. how about some sandwiches for us, honey? uh, hold it, smiley. yeah? all right, but would you mind telling me what's going on? what are larry and the milkman and the tv man doing here? well, you know how i decided not to go to work today? the idea kind of caught on. that's strange. not at all. i have a very important committee meeting this afternoon, so i'll need the living room. would you mind telling the fellas? i will right now. thank you. we'll move the game out to the patio. [ laughter ] [ doorbell rings ] [ doorbell rings ] hello, mrs. stephens. i'm sarah albright, and this is mary wheeler. oh, do come in, and, please, call me samantha. thank you. oh, what a lovely home you have. [ laughter continues ] oh, that -- that's my husband. he took the day off. oh, you have the table all set up for us. good. we can get right down to work. i can't tell

mrs. halliday? a 128 to hang over my mantle. [whistling] tell me darling, what is it? - well - no, let me guess. - uhh, no. - all right, i give up. mark, i don't care what it is. just as long as you picked it out. let's celebrate at home tonight, huh? champagne, and we'll hang 128 over mark! - i said 128. you made a mistake. - no, this is it, sir. - well, that's not the painting i saw this morning. - it's 128, see for yourself. - i don't see the joke, mark. - debbie, wait a minute. - no, let me - debbie, i never saw that painting before in my life. there must be some explanation. who put you up to that? - back there. - well, how did it get back there? - i don't know, sir, you'll have to ask mister harrison. would you like to leave it here, sir? i'll have mister harrison call you. - no. i'll take it with me. [music] - is it jocelyn? - i don't know, mark. - well, you ought to know your own sister. - you know her better than i do, you were ma jocelyn. - of course, she could have a double. well, let's see, when was it she disappeared? april, four years ago, wasn't it? - fi

mr. steve? steve: what do you do, darling?te: i'm a youth development specialist for at-risk youth and i've been watching "family feud" a long, long, long time.

mr. selsen, thank god, left me with a lot of money. but he brings other girls to the apartment when i'm not there. we need to know whether you're gonna press charges. darling? charge him... for his own good. dried-up hag! shall we, mr. mendez? neal, j.d. nothing on house-to-house on the killing, captain. we did help that old lady me get the kid to cooperate? he'll be wearing a wire, try to incriminate carl mann. you want us to stay on house-to-house? widen the perimeter. i'm shocked. i am something she keeps in a cage, like a chihuahua, like a goldfish. goldfish don't get charged with grand larceny. i'm choking. [ chokes ] she suffocated me. to me, i deserved anything i could lay my hands on. in other words, you did commit the crime. [ clclrs throat ] i probably can get reduction to misdemeanor in exchange for a plea. see, if ----f you could get me a sit-down with her. with mrs. selsen? uh-huh. can you get me a face-to-face? yes, there is a santa claus, ramon. she dropped? that's right. captain. howard. rank review panel's getting together materials for your appeal hearing. oh, i see. i'm submitting my files, but i thouout you might want to look them over

darling? without looking, no. mr. pennybaker, if you and your wife aren't busy, why don't you join us for dinner tonight? well, that would be fine. oh, good, good. samantha, we'll expect you and darrin, too. just a minute. i believe it's our turn. at all. you still have a rain check from that thursday a month before last when we invited you and you didn't show up. mr. pennybaker, in case you're wondering where you're going to have dinner tonight, it'll be at our house, all right, louise? anything, but let's go shopping. yes, well, i think i'd better go, too. i'll walk you ladies out. you know, not too long ago, a dispute like this could have ended on the dueling field. everything according to the code duello. ladies, you probably don't know this, esting history. now, you take the age of chivalry. a gentleman in those days... pleased with yourself? well, i'm sorry, larry. but you've been bugging me about my memory. i've been trying to improve it. i know ed pennybaker. he considers himself an authority on everything. he

darling. - oh, thank you. - uh, mr. kerr is here to direct a documentary. - oh, how exciting. oh, will you sit down, please? - thank you. - being a director must be very interesting. - it has its rewards. of getting a good performance from a clod. - a clod? - when i have an actor in front of my camera, i expect him to know his job. heaven help him if he doesn't. (laughing) i'll have my camera crew here first thing in the morning. i think we'll, um start in this corner. (upbeat music) - he sounds pretty tough. - don't worry, i'll pull you through. - it's gonna work. - oh? all right. we're gonna pick up major healey coming in the door in a, in a wide shot. and then go to a tight two. and then the next, uh w-where's my script girl? - what does he mean by a tight two? - why are the little people always frustrating me? - may i help you? - do you have a stopwatch? - a tch?stwachuckles) yes. (chuckles) - uh uh, shall we, um? shall we go over the scene once more? i know my lines. an old pro never forgets. (chuckles) - let's do it anyway. you've come over to have breakfast with tony, a

but darling, i was going to read one of your favorites, dear mr. poe's murder in the rue morgue. ah, poe does have a way with whimsy. we'd rather hear the rest of the story and father got married. oh, now, let's not go into that old chestnut. gomez, darling, what a terrible way to talk about our beautiful romance! darling, i'm not talking about our beautiful romance, it's what led up to it. nonsense. it's a true-to-life adventure and the children should know all about it. all right. now come along. let's sit right down here, and get comfortable. now, where were we? you just talked french, and father just kissed you. now then, plans for the wedding were in full swing. morticia: your aunt ophelia was still trying to amuse your father. i was just sitting there, cutting out paper dolls. (playing light music) (ophelia playing violin) ophelia: faster, lurch, faster. (lurch playing rock 'n' roll music) i told you, she's all talent. and beauty. (groaning) isn't it wonderful, son? (gasps) well, that's all settled. in ballroom of the ritz (ophelia singing) but i guess it'll do. my gomez an

darling! that's marvelous. [ chuckles ] oh. i don't even feel so bad about being such a fool with mr. grand. imagine, giving him ordinary house dust to analyze. ooh, i bet he thinks you're spooky. yeah. ordinary house dust and ordinary japanese tea. [ laughs ] um, darrin. darrin, it isn't ordinary japanese tea. hmm. what, um -- what is it? it's -- it's warlock tea. it's warlock tea. it's warlock tea! oh, sam! mr. grand is gonna analyze it, and he's going to think -- i don't know what he's gonna think. well, i don't think there's anything to worry about. and that'll be the end of that. yeah, yeah. i hope you're right. [ telephone ringing ] i don't think you're right. hello? mr. stephens, about that matter of national importance -- the stuff that looks like house dust, it is house dust. well, thank you for your trouble, mr. grand. but that other stuff -- the stuff that looks like tea. that was a mistake. that is tea. ah. that's where you're wrong. i put it through every test i've got. and there's something in it that is definitely not tea. i even showed it to my brother-in-law, the one from na

darling. (whispers) i'm not too sure, but i don't think mr. courtney is very happy in consolidated lint. well, we can certainly take care of that. i'll swing him into national dust. blooker, sell courtney's consolidated lint. and pick up 1,000 shares of national dust. please, you can thank me some other time. good show, blooker. hurry, darling. let's see what it's doing. did it go up? by george, it's up eight and a half points. national dust? consolidated lint. back to 70. what about national dust? down three. bad business, shifting horses in mid-stream. i'm sure dear abigail knows that as well as anyone. consolidated lint. up to 75. up to 80. and national dust? holding steadily at 54. if you make me stick to this deal, i'll be broke, bankrupt, penniless. nonsense, old man. if you're a bit short, i'll take the deal off your hands. oh, thank you. you're all even again. thank you. ever make a better deal than that? oh, no, never. never. thank you, mr. addams. easy come, easy go. and now if we could just meet old mrs. adams. as soon as she's finished wrestling the alligator. wrestling the a

mr. kingsley, they they be the first all right, general. get them ready for the test chamber now. and the rest of the world within hours. -hours, robert? -that's right, darling. as soon as erikson's preparations are completed. now, don't ask me any questions, please, just believe me. this change of plan is essential. all right, robert, whatever you say. -hurry, darling. -i will, robert. and, margitta, i think of you every minute. me too, darling. i haven't left the apartment in days, waiting for your call. i love you. attack time? -it makes no difference. -no difference? we'll never get the members of thrush central to the installation on time. they'll be... gassed, like everyone else. we go ahead exactly as planned, only we do it sooner, and without thrush central. just...you and i.

darling? are you expecting anyone? no. why? it's mrs. kravitz. there's a woman at her house, apparently a very, very old woman, old. some women never give up hope. what's her name? what's her name? do you know your name? of course. terry warbell! terry warbell! i knew it. i knew there was something wrong with that woman. what is it, mother? what's going on? i'll explain later. right now you'd better pop in next door, get that woman over here, [ ding! ] hello, are you there, mrs. stephens? no, i'm here. [ gasps ] i-i -- how could you -- i... abner! abner! abner, this you got to see! i was talking to her on the telephone, and she pops in here! who? who else? mrs. stephens. look! you'll say anything to get me up, won't you? now, just calm yourself and try to recall what happened. it was this morning. i was driving along in my car. i saw this old woman. she waved at me and i stopped. and then -- i don't know how it happened -- but i was the old woman, and she was driving off in my car! oh, there's no doubt about it. there's no doubt about it. she's t

mr. easter, why don't you read that real loud so the whole town can hear. "wanted for murder. "$1,000 reward for the capture, dead or alive, "of steve pax, ned! darling, it's marvelous. you ought to hear the people talking. you showed them how to call barney's bluff, ned. they're not afraid of him anymore. that was josh's doing, not mine. thanks to you, mr. randall, i may soon be hanging new drapes in the mayor's office. or a wreath on josh's grave. ned. i want you to leave town, josh. now, look, ned, we've been all through this. now, you're practically in city hall, you hear? sure, because you exposed the mayor's brother as a killer, but you forget that steve pax is our sheriff. he could put a bullet in your back and call it legal. now, look, i'm not gonna get myself into any kind of trouble i don't figure i can get out of. during the war. he went out of his way to get me out of trouble a couple of times. is that why you came here, to get me out of trouble? - no, that's not why. - ( knock on door ) come in. barney pax wants to see you, randall. what's he want? business, i guess. coming? - i'm going with you. - ned. now, look, it's all right, ned. do

mr. silver, please stay. i'll only be a minute. darling, i was feeling a little blue so i thought i might buy myself something nice. something extra special. - like what? - promise not to scold me? - buy what? - you know that little red sports car, the one we saw? - i remember. - well i know it's awfully expensive but - it's too expensive. buying a new hat. - i'm sorry. - that's all right. just don't buy it. i got you a new car only a few months ago. - sure. he's really the most generous husband in the world. you're right. it was just an idea. goodbye honey. - bye. - goodbye mr. silver. - oh, goodbye. - no wonder you're crazy about her, she's beautiful. the world. harry? - yeah? - i can't let you kill her. - you've gotten chicken. - i'm crazy about her. - can't blame ya. - i couldn't live without her, don't care if i change my mind, do you? - nope. i'd hate to take something as warm as that and turn her into something cold and dead. - she's all i have. - what about the guy? - let him have it. - where will i find him? - i'll know by tonight

darling. - careful, dear.r. i'v. and how are you this morning, mr. paladin? - that's a very attractive dress. - do you like it? i fofod it downstairs in that quaint little shop. oh, i charged it to my bill here. is that all right, dear? - oh, sure... sure. you have to have clothes. - would you like to sit down, mrs. hollister? - thank you. - you had breakfast? may i call downstairs for... - no, i never eat a thing before noon. just some lemon juice. my voice, you know. well, my voice teacher arranged an audition have a very good friend, signor vittorio bartellini. formerly of la scala and now the foremost opera impresario in the united states. i'm certaiaii could arrange a private audition. - oh, mr. paladin. - would three o'clock be convenient? - oh, but i don't have my music. i'll need an accompanist. - i'd be honored to accompany you. - yoyo well, all right. do you know "la sonnambula?" - "la sonnambula?" you're not going to sing that, are you? a piece of sticky, sentimental drivel. the sleepwalker. - but i've studied it so hard! - mrs. hollister, you're not a sleepwalker. you're a warm, vibrant, full-bodie

mrs. jerome had forbidden jennie to correspond with him. but randolph wrote passionately from blenheim. my own darling jeanette, i cannot let another day pass without writing to you. i do not think i've ever had such a day as yesterday, such a melancholy journey away from you, then to have the listen to the toddling gossip of my mother and sisters when my hearts and thoughts were elsewhere. it's so curious that my rooms and my things and occupation here which i used to take an interest in are quite hateful now and all i can do is keep re-reading your her and looking at your photographs until i get quite stupid. i do not think, dearest, you have any idea of how much i love you or what sacrifices i would not make to call you my own. my whole life and energies should be devoted to making you happy and protecting you from harm or wrong. life should be to you like one long summer day. then randolph wrote to his father. i do not think that if i were to write pages i could gibb you any idea of the strength of feeling of my affections and love for her. all i can say is that i love her better than life itself

mrs. naugatuck and me to take care of you. and philip'll be here to keep you from being lonesome. - you see, darling? nothing's going to change. - [nell] (singing) oh, singing in the rain. singing in the rain. - i think she's been nipping at the milk again. - well, this calls for a celebration. i'll go and warm up some of those veal kidneys you love. - that's a good idea, and i'll open the cold duck. - [maude] mrs. naugatuck, somebody else here is having a big night. - [nell] who? - mr. findlay, of course, man of the year. how do you like his trophy? - another thing to polish. his pussycat theater wouldn't give me my senior citizen's discount. (audience laughs) - walter. walter. honey, is something wrong? - oh, for crying out loud, maude. can't you run for some office that's local, where at least you'd be at home? come on, viv. - no, i want to stay and watch the fight. (audience laughs) - walter, how can you not want this for me? this is my chance to do something that matters. - look, i know it's important to you, maude. but i don't want a weekend wife. i'm too old to change my lifestyle. maude, i am

mr. penguin, sir. then the next, fate pulls the rug out from under us. ahh! pengy! good day, miss. oh, pengy! pengy, my poor darling! who cares about him. are you all right? vengeance. [ squawks ] failure, sir. failure. that's not true, alfred. of course not. the important thing was to get this picture of sophia's jewels. you got it. sure you did. f fake copies. thanks to you, we may be able to avert a gigantic robbery. robin, grab those fake jewels. we must strike before the penguin does. let's go! [ jet engine turns over ] we're sure taking a chance, batman. are the soles of your boots slippery? heck no. i mean, when we put the fake jewels in miss starr's safe and take the real ones out, to take, robin. in our well-ordered society, protection of private property is essential. yes, you're right, batman. that's the keystone of all law and order. let's go, chum. the safe should be behind that picture. get out the electric-eye looping unit. neutralize t t alarm. i'll listen for the tumblers. roger. perfect. tumblers are falling into place. penguin: caught you, you thieves! one move and you're a dead duo! holy bat-tra

your very own words. ( sobs ) now, l lk, darling, i really do have some good news for you. this is mr. josh randall, and he's gonna help us find baa-baa. mr. randall is a famous hunter, and i've hired him to just forget everything else and concentrate on baa-baa. she's so helpless, and she needs me. you won't mistake her. she's soft and white and furrrrand... dear. here she is. oh, my poor lost baby.y. honey, don't you think you ought to give the picture to mr. randall so he could recogngne baa-baa? listen, ma'am, an awful lot of sheep out here in this part of the country. it'll be awful hard-- there's half the bounty money inindvance. you talk about my little girl as though she were a criminal. the way you say things always frighten her. i love her, mr. randall. is that wrong? no, ma'am, it's just that there's an awful-- there's something else that might help you. she has a little gold bell around her neck. sent all the way to san francisco for it. and please be very gentle with her. i already told mr. randall that, honey. then why don't you practice what you preach? now, honey, don'

darling. still here, huh? oh! i certainly wouldn't leave without waiting for mr. charm to come home. oh, now, now, mother. sweetheart, you look tired. why don't you sit down and unwind? dinner will be ready in a little while. honey, hold it! hold it! what in the world? larry's idea. i've got the key here somewhere. this ridiculous cloak-and-dagger business too far? ridiculous? two of my best ideas stolen, and she calls it ridiculous. we checked the office, everything. of course. there's a bug in this house. i beg your pardon! mother, darrin wasn't referring to you, were you? were you? no, honey, a bug, a microphone, a hidden microphone. it could be hidden anywhere -- in a lamp, under the table. wright campaign with anyone? no. only mother. i wouldn't repeat that drivel. and louise on the phone. the phone. that's it. they've tapped the phone. from now on, you're to stay away from that phone. you're not to talk to anybody, not to anybody! wait just a minute. because i casually mention your campaign to my mother and your boss's wife, are you trying to blame me for your troubles? confiding in a woman is like

mr. hopkins. polygram. i believe her, stone cold. that old bastard. danny said we couldn't tell. he didn't want me to be ashamed. oh, darling, it's okay, it's all l ght. ready? uh, look, you sure you're up for this? detective, i was shaken up today, but i had a good talk with myself and i am not going to let one mistake be meeting another couple, okay? yeah, sure, fine. disgusting. what's that, detective? our new pd almost gets davenport iced, but does t tt interrupt her social schedule, no. have a nice time. that should do it. come on, more new regs? change forced on us by circumstance. henceforth, all attorneys are subject to discretionary frisks, samemes other visitors. hmm, i don't think i'm dressed for this place. you look fine. mom -- hello, dear. dad, this is detective neal washington. how do you do? i told you we'd be meeting another couple. detective. hohodo you do? sharon, is your cheek bruised? mother, i told you, i'm fine. were you part of today's excitement? uh, no, sir. i just can't believe our daughter getting mixed up in something like that. ier, please. uh, scotch rocks, double. so... are you a basketball f

darling... ? ? the lion sleeps tonight. ? [snoring.] which means in the time it takes mr. wagner to pour a 20 oz. cup of coffee, tommy can download 30 songs, and jan can upload 120 photos. 12 seconds. that's the power of fiber optics. this is your last chance to get super fast 100meg internet, tv and phone for just $69.99 per month online. this is your final week to get this great deal. ? >>> it is tuesday, november 1st, went 16. welcome back to "cbs this morning." more real news ahead, including the fbi e-mail probe, in the final week of the campaign. we look at the long-term impact of atlantic magazine contributor alex wagner. but first here is today's "eye opener" at 8:00. >> this will take time. what investigators are looking for is classified material. and anything tied to hillary clinton. >> we have thwoe t major candidates now accusing each other of being in more trouble with the fbi than they are. >> donald trump wants to keep th focus on hillary clinton's e-mail saga. while clinton wants to keep the attacking the integrity of the fbi director. >> it's a clinton cl

darling, we have no children. (audience laughs) - then who is it that brings in my slippers every night? - that's rover, our cockerspaniel. (audience laughs) (audience laughs) - the reason mr. park is named griffith is because his head is like a golf course. it has 18 holes in it. (audience laughs) in fact, when he walks down the street on a windy day without his hat on, he sounds like a calliope. (audience laughs) - griffith, i have a surprise for you. - yeah? erful! (audience laughs) - he may be happy now, but it won't be long! (laughs) i'll fix that! for i am the fiddler! (violin music) (audience laughs) - dear, what happened? this milk just turned sour! ? - oh, no, no, that's alright, dear. tell me, when is your dear mother coming? - tomorrow. - oh, i'm glad you told me. now, i can buy her a present! i wonder what i could give her? - why don't you give her a kick in the teeth? - no, gwendelyn, your father gave her that last year. - what did you say, dear? - i just answered your question. - but i didn't say anything. - you didn't? - no. - i thought you did. you see, i have them confused already! (laughing menacingly) - i hate to leave you alone at night, gwendelyn, but

mr. lawman! don't you know who i am?! i'm mork's producer. i'm the man that got arthur miller to write that episode on "chips." there he is -- the new media's darling of the day and his little pooter! hi, billy. let's talk tv, kids. i think mork's had enough for today. i was so looking forward to talking concept and sipping white wine. you know what? they're hilarious, and you know why? because not one of them had a date in high school. [ laughter ] are you the guys who wrote "but, seriously"? i love that one, and also "hey, where are you from?" [ telephone rings ] what? who? mommy, daddy, do we know a ron and nancy? no. sweetheart, just take a message. we'll call you back. i don't care what color your house is. ept -- you are going to be starring in "those amazing aliens." now, on the first episode, we're gonna strap you to the nose of a concord. when you land in paris, we're gonna set you on fire and make you eat mud. mind, isn't that wonderful? i get to go to paris. no! absolutely not! well, very well, miss red blazer. he can read a poem at the end of the show. mork! the t-shirts were just the tip of the merchandising iceberg. [ shutter clicks ]

darling, the psychiatrist insists that we not call him doctor for fear of upsetting uncle fester. good idea. we'll tell fester he's the plumber. sir. i'm gomez addams, fester's nephew. well, i'm mr. logan. thaddeus logan. logan, huh? well, that's as good a name as any. querida, this is mr. logan. mr. logan, this is my lovely wife, morticia. oh, mr. logan. how do you do? (stammering) fester lives here? oh, yes. won't you please sit down? there are a few things we think you ought to know about uncle fester. oh? well, i know all i need to know. by thunder, i admire your confidence. lightning quick. yes, it eases my mind to know that you'll be with him in his time of trouble. oh, well, i don't anticipate any trouble. no, i got all the papers right here, ready to sign. oh, we'll have those institutions eating out of our hand. institution? oh, no, we couldn't send him to an institution. no need, sir, he's an addams, and we look after our own. besides, the poor dear isn't violent. fester? crack up? completely off his trolley. keeps talking about big business deals and mergers and that once fine mind has been reduced to a shambles. (chuckling) oh, well, i know what you mean. yeah, i oft

darling. andot a little political controversial as well. gigi hadid and mr. jay farrell e from saturday night live opened up the show and said theyd t weren't going to get political gigi hadid did awkwardwkward impersonation -- awkward of melania trump.mp. >> watch this.. sasha and malia. >> spot on. that was spot on.t o >> that didn't play well. for me listen i think -- ink -- thought it was awkward.wk i didn't think it made sense. s i don't know for me the joke was too easy. ey >> i didn't like it when the --e jokes were the other way. >> right. >> i don't like this. it's uncomfortable.fortle >> i completely agree. >> completely agree. >> the best thing she said all night the tribe hill quest hasi the number one album that albumm is amazing if you haven't heardh it yet.et phenomenal. opening monologue started awkward.d. bruno mars opened the show wayey mazing performance.zing per >> he mixed with knee deep. bringing back fundal lick. >> he kill it with 24/k magic.a. here's some of that video rightt here.he alenomenal job. i thought he's one of the bestes su

darling! six months is too long to wait for someone you love. oh, bert, if you only knew. vivian: oh, flint? may i introduce you? this is flint mccullough. this is bert johnson. hi. mr. johnson. flint is the scout on the wagon train and a wonderful friend. you're a very lucky man, mr. johnson. i know that. i know that. if you'll excuse me, i'm sure you have a great deal to talk about. i'd be honored to have you join us for dinner, mccullough. thanks very much, but, uh, three's a crowd. my wagon's out in front with everything i treasure on it, including my white wedding dress. your, uh... your wedding dress? i know it's silly, but i've always dreamed of a white gown. well, it is ridiculous for a woman my age. well, i guess i'd better go out and see that it-- well, of course you'll wear white. that's what all new brides wear, isn't it? and don't speak about age, darling. we'll unload your wagon later. right now you're going to have dinner and tell me about boston and all you've done since i last saw you. miss carter wants your finest room, and have somebody watch the wagon till we get back. this way, darling. - [narratod a medical emergy away from home? - my chest hurt

mrs. stephens. well, i'll be there. sam, this is ridiculous! shh. it's been a nightmare ever since your parents arrived. well, we'll be out of it soon, darling. you just pop me outside, and i'll make an entrance that'll make romeo and juliet look like cool acquaintances. ooh, you really are drenched. you better let me zap you into some dry clothes. oh, never mind! there's been enough zapping going on around here today. i'll change myself. as soon as you're ready, i'll have to pop you outside. no! yeah, i guess you better. okay, hurry up. [ chuckles ] must be like kissing a minnow. [ doorbell rings ] maybe that's darrin. does he usually ring the bell at his own door? oh, mother, go away! i finished early, dear, so i thought i'd drop by to see how things were going. oh! oh, you're still here, i see. you came back, too, endora, because i have something to say to samantha that i want you to hear. by all means. i wouldn't miss this for the world. frank and i think that samantha and darrin are having difficulties because you've been intruding too much on their lives. oh? you think so too, frank? [ chuckles ] it doesn't matter what he thinks. i'm sp

darling. josh! oh, so brave, so fearless. yeah, well, lots of luck. wait. i'm not married yet. yeah, well... lots of luck anyway.y. but you've gotta see this thing through. mr. fairweather knows very well that the preacher's in littlefield, and he just might try to stop us. in littlefield. well, i hesitate to mention money at a time like this. yeah, i know what you mean, brother, but you don't have to be hesitant. excuse me, ma'am. we'd better hurry, darling. so strong, so fearless. now, prince, you're gonna earn your keep, blast you. the preacher's at a christening. oh, the patter of little feet. he's at the house next to the school. - we'll find it. - i'll get h h. reverend, sir, could you please hurry-- young man, you must not be in such haste. marriage must only be entered into after due deliberation. besides i need my book. - book? - yes, my book. - where is the book, sir? - on the table, young man. , will you take her right hand in your right hand, ananthis side. and your hat, please? hat? now then, we are gathered together "to take three eggs beaten to a stiff peak--" oh, why, no. no, this is my wife's cookbook. there you are, reverend. hurry, please

mr. cunningham's perfume. he sent some to louise and me. $50 an ounce. hmm. ooh, mother, look at me. i'm so nervous, it's like stage fright. don't worry, darling. i'll be with you in spirit. wish me luck. it's been wished. what does that mean? it's getting so you question everything i say. sorry. bye-bye. man: on the local side of the news, art critic arthur bryan has completed his judging in the annual charity art show on view at the university tonight. the winner of the first prize is samantha stephens. larry! in making the decision, mr. bryan said that mrs. stephens showed an amazing color sense and style for an amateur painter. samantha won first prize! well, hurry up. we must go to that exhibit. now for a rundown in the world of sports. what is it? she won! samantha won! ...stunned a capacity crowd, setting a new world's record for the high jump. and so, you say, "what is art?" some say look in the dictionary, but i say what does a man who writes a dictionary know about art? if he knew anything about art, would he be writing a dictionary in the first place? no, i say. i say go to a man who has created something himself... even if that man

darling. whoop-de-do. hey. hey. i never would have believed i left that kind of dough in that coat. and you wouldn't have known it if mr. jefferson hadn't found it. he could have kept the money, but he's an honest man. hey, jefferson. nice to see you. see you round. archie, can i see you? you're looking at me. archie! since you got back $20 you didn't know you had and since mr. jefferson had a loss because of the bad bill, i think you should share this with him. oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. i think you should give him at least half of it. you'd still be ahead $10. oh, please, archie. be fair. what to do. get out of the way. jefferson, i'm going to be fair. seeing as there was a loss here and you and me was both involved in the loss, well, maybe we ought to share this. so here's $10. thanks. all right. fair enough? that's nice, archie. wait a second, arch. i'm holding $10 in my hand. show me where i'm way more ahead than that. look, arch, you gave mr. jefferson a phony $20 bill. i didn't know nothing about that. it doesn't make any difference! the point is he gave you $18 of real money in change plus $2 worth of cleaning se

mrs. jerome had forbidden jennie to correspond with him. but randolph wrote passionately from blenheim. my own darling jeanette, i cannot let another day pass without writing to you. i do not think i've ever had such a day as yesterday, such a melancholy journey away from you, then to have the listen to the toddling gossip of my mother and sisters when my hearts and thoughts were elsewhere. it's so curious that my rooms and my things and occupation here which i used to take an interest in are quite hateful now and all i can do is keep re-reading your her and looking at your photographs until i get quite stupid. i do not think, dearest, you have any idea of how much i love you or what sacrifices i would not make to call you my own. my whole life and energies should be devoted to making you happy and protecting you from harm or wrong. life should be to you like one long summer day. then randolph wrote to his father. i do not think that if i were to write pages i could gibb you any idea of the strength of feeling of my affections and love for her. all i can say is that i love her better than life itself

mrs. jerome had forbidden jennie to correspond with him. but randolph wrote passionately from blenheim. my own darling jeanette, i cannot let another day pass without writing to you. i do not think i've ever had such a day as yesterday, such a melancholy journey away from you, then to have the listen to the toddling gossip of my mother and sisters when my hearts and thoughts were elsewhere. it's so curious that my rooms and my things and occupation here which i used to take an interest in are quite hateful now and all i can do is keep re-reading your her and looking at your photographs until i get quite stupid. i do not think, dearest, you have any idea of how much i love you or what sacrifices i would not make to call you my own. my whole life and energies should be devoted to making you happy and protecting you from harm or wrong. life should be to you like one long summer day. then randolph wrote to his father. i do not think that if i were to write pages i could gibb you any idea of the strength of feeling of my affections and love for her. all i can say is that i love her better than life itself