mr. buttermaker? yeah. where are we going? already told you, to the batting cages. you guys swing like helen keller at a piñata party.methin' about it. tell us about the majors, coach. ahmad: you were in the majors? yeah, for a little while. hey, lupus, don't lean against that door, bud, all right? yes, i was recently perusing baseballstats.org, and it said mr. buttermaker played pitcher for the seattle mariners for 2/3 of an inning in 1984. two-thirds? that's it? well, it was the end of the season. you know, september call-ups. yes, his lifetime era was 36. that's lame. yeah, well, i closed the inning out, okay? there's only a few thousand guys ever set foot on a major league mound. i'm one of 'em. what have you done with your life, smartass? why didn't you stay? well, i was gonna come back, but i...had a little incident. i punched an ump. really just a bitch-slap, but i dunno. how the hell was i supposed to know he was a bleeder? fourteen stitches. like that means something. they used to stitch everything up. it was like the dark ages. i got stitches on my foot. oh, yeah? well, i'm in a damn wheelchair. ♪ put me in