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Nov 15, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 97
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mr. sanford. have a good night's sleep, but just remember-- the japanese are gonna be here first thing in the morning. i know that. how? they always attack at dawn. ? i know i'll go from rags to riches ? [humming] ? i know i'll go-- ? hey, pop, did the japanese get here yet? look around. do you see any seaweed in the living room? hey, what you doing? see, when the japanese come, i'm gonna invite them . oh, that's genius, pop. it is. listen to this one here. "you'll meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. give him what he wants." hey, wait a minute. it's not gonna work, pop. it'll work. here's one i know will work. look. "the tea you just drank is poison. "so, for $50,000, you can have this house and an antidote." please, mr. sanford, don't do anything like that, huh? you're gonna ruin it for all of us, man. how can i ruin it for all of us? because the japanese put a stipulation on the contract that says that every property owner has to sell, or the deal is off. that's right, man. if we don't sell, n
mr. sanford. have a good night's sleep, but just remember-- the japanese are gonna be here first thing in the morning. i know that. how? they always attack at dawn. ? i know i'll go from rags to riches ? [humming] ? i know i'll go-- ? hey, pop, did the japanese get here yet? look around. do you see any seaweed in the living room? hey, what you doing? see, when the japanese come, i'm gonna invite them . oh, that's genius, pop. it is. listen to this one here. "you'll meet a tall, dark,...
280
280
Nov 29, 2016
11/16
by
WNCN
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eye 280
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mr. sanford, where is this empty feeling? in my wallet. ah... here you are, mr. sanford. well, the examination's all over, mr. sanford. that wasn't so bad, was it? no, not if you consider that i was mauled and pawed and plucked and stuck. heh. if you have, uh, any pain, yeah, well, if they boosted me any higher, i'd have to sit down on my lips. take a seat. i'll look over your records. yeah, i know you will. [groans] ooh... [grunts] well, mr. sanford, there are still some tests to come back, but barring anything unforeseen, i can give you a reasonably clean bill of health. uh, how much is my clean bill of health gonna cost me? the bill? oh, you mean my fee. well, as a favor to audrey, shall we say, um...$100? uh, as a favor to me... i'm sorry, mr. sanford. 100 is less than half of what i usually charge. i mean, you've had tests, x-rays, an e.k.g... it's the best i can do. and after dinner, we'll go dancing. oh, lamont... and then we'll go have a few drinks. oh, lamont... and then we'll go back to my place. no, lamont. your place? excuse me. pick a place. fred: 6 months? i
mr. sanford, where is this empty feeling? in my wallet. ah... here you are, mr. sanford. well, the examination's all over, mr. sanford. that wasn't so bad, was it? no, not if you consider that i was mauled and pawed and plucked and stuck. heh. if you have, uh, any pain, yeah, well, if they boosted me any higher, i'd have to sit down on my lips. take a seat. i'll look over your records. yeah, i know you will. [groans] ooh... [grunts] well, mr. sanford, there are still some tests to come back,...
102
102
Nov 3, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 102
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mr. sanford? [spanish accent] mr. sanford, you called for a surveyor? uh... uh, what's your name? manuelo eduardo esteban gonzales rodriguez. oh, hell, i'm dead. excuse me? nothing. sit down, let me ask you something. thank you. now, a survey is a survey, right? that is correct. that one of the guys involved in this survey-- his name was-- well, let's just pick a name at random. say his name was... fuentes. uh, that wouldn't make no difference in the survey, would it? why should a person's name make any difference? yeah, that's what i always say. why should a person's name make any difference? the legal boundary comes from the country recorder. it can not be changed. that's good, manny. hey, listen here. can i get you something? maybe a nice, cold glass of water? we got some good water here, and you can drink it and don't have to worry about montezuma's revenge. no, thank you. well, what do you say i send my son down to get you some tacos and burritos and some of them enchiladas? i hate the stuff. gives me heartburn. now, mr. sanford, if you will please sign the authorization pape
mr. sanford? [spanish accent] mr. sanford, you called for a surveyor? uh... uh, what's your name? manuelo eduardo esteban gonzales rodriguez. oh, hell, i'm dead. excuse me? nothing. sit down, let me ask you something. thank you. now, a survey is a survey, right? that is correct. that one of the guys involved in this survey-- his name was-- well, let's just pick a name at random. say his name was... fuentes. uh, that wouldn't make no difference in the survey, would it? why should a person's name...
160
160
Nov 16, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 160
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mr. sanford. mr. sanford, i want you to say hello to carlotta and her son roberto. hey, roberto, say hello to lamont and se?or sanford. hey, roberto. hi, lamont. hello, se?or sanford. buenos tacos. ha ha ha ha. [speaking spanish] well, you see, mr. sanford-- he'll love this one. adios, brat-os. hey, julio? yeah. tell your sister carlotta that i'm glad that she's here, and my home is her home. wow. that's nice, man. carlotta, dice que aqu? en esta casa, t? puedes estar como si t? eres en tu propia casa. ah, s?. muchas gracias. thank you very much. [speaking spanish] oh, no. no, no, no, no. no, no, look, no. you don't have to do that. this. this--this lady's a guest in our house. get them papers over there, honey. [speaking inaudibly] hey, julio, tell your sister carlotta that she doesn't have to do any cleaning or cooking because my pop--see, he does all the housework. tell her that. julio: right. great. [speaking spanish] ah, s?. ay, pero eso no es trabajo del hombre. eso le toca la mujer. es el trabajo de las mujeres. hey, hey, hey, lamont. what'd she say? how would
mr. sanford. mr. sanford, i want you to say hello to carlotta and her son roberto. hey, roberto, say hello to lamont and se?or sanford. hey, roberto. hi, lamont. hello, se?or sanford. buenos tacos. ha ha ha ha. [speaking spanish] well, you see, mr. sanford-- he'll love this one. adios, brat-os. hey, julio? yeah. tell your sister carlotta that i'm glad that she's here, and my home is her home. wow. that's nice, man. carlotta, dice que aqu? en esta casa, t? puedes estar como si t? eres en tu...
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204
Nov 18, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 204
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mr. sanford. you know what i'm talking about, man. running a junkyard is a rough business, man. especially when it's a one-man operation like mine. hey, don't feel like the lone ranger, julio. ours is a one-man operation, too. [knocking on door] long day, brother. hey, come on in, fellas. [all talking at once] say, why don't you guys have a seat? no, we can't stay too long. we came by for some parts for our squad car. here? what's wrong with the police garage? yes, well, under the circumstances, we thought it best not to advise them of the circumstances surrounding the circumstances, if you know what i mean. no. what does he mean? somebody stole all our hubcaps. hey, did you get to see the guy who did it? we had the windows rolled up. you mean to tell me they ripped you off while you was in the car? that's right. [snickers] i'm gonna get you some hubcaps. uh, mr. sanford, uh, what will be the cost of those hubcaps? let's see. that's $2.00 each, so that'll be-- hey, $2.00 each? that's too much, man
mr. sanford. you know what i'm talking about, man. running a junkyard is a rough business, man. especially when it's a one-man operation like mine. hey, don't feel like the lone ranger, julio. ours is a one-man operation, too. [knocking on door] long day, brother. hey, come on in, fellas. [all talking at once] say, why don't you guys have a seat? no, we can't stay too long. we came by for some parts for our squad car. here? what's wrong with the police garage? yes, well, under the...
158
158
Nov 17, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 158
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mr. sanford, so nice to meet you. thank you. say listen, how much is this pile of art? $40,000. mr. sanford, art can't be measured in terms of dollars and cents. you see, art is a legacy. somethin' left behind by its creators. well, i got a legacy. what? mr. sanford. the artist's whole life is in this art. each piece here represents a part of him. what you see here before you is... well, what's inside of the artist. hmm. maybe he needed a physic. hey! pop. huh? don't tell me that that was you out here hammerin' and bangin' all last night. what? [louder] i said don't tell me that that was you out here hammerin' and bangin' all night long. speak right up, son. i can't hear. my--my ears are numb. see, i've been out here hammerin' and bangin' all night. hey, man. what are you doing? a legacy. when people see this, they'll remember me. that will make me immoral. that's immortal. have you forgotten, pop? we borrowed $400 from the bank, man. and the sale is only 2 days away. if it's not 100% successful, we're gonna be in hock up to our ears. we'll be ready. ok. i gotta go make some pick ups
mr. sanford, so nice to meet you. thank you. say listen, how much is this pile of art? $40,000. mr. sanford, art can't be measured in terms of dollars and cents. you see, art is a legacy. somethin' left behind by its creators. well, i got a legacy. what? mr. sanford. the artist's whole life is in this art. each piece here represents a part of him. what you see here before you is... well, what's inside of the artist. hmm. maybe he needed a physic. hey! pop. huh? don't tell me that that was you...
320
320
Nov 28, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 320
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mr. sanford, let's be realistic. you are totally lacking in the education and/or skills necessary to qualify for most of our placement opportunities. to say nothing of your age, which falls well outside the optimum actuarial median. well, thank you very much. now, look here, sister. give it to me straight. i have one job open for you as a hydro automotive maintenance technician. well, that sounds good. where is it? the jiffy car wash. happy wiping. heh heh heh heh. happy wiping. say, listen, why don't you come on down here where could he be, julio? it's almost 5:00. relax, man. you said yourself he was gonna be late. now, i know, man, but i could tell by looking at him that he was worried. i'll tell you, man, he's gonna have reason to worry if arms crowder comes in and wants his money back. [sloshing] pop? where have you been? i was just out-- out strolling. [sloshing] why do i keep hearing water? maybe they got high tide in tijuana. hey, lamont, look at the back of your father's shirt. wait a minute. what is this? j
mr. sanford, let's be realistic. you are totally lacking in the education and/or skills necessary to qualify for most of our placement opportunities. to say nothing of your age, which falls well outside the optimum actuarial median. well, thank you very much. now, look here, sister. give it to me straight. i have one job open for you as a hydro automotive maintenance technician. well, that sounds good. where is it? the jiffy car wash. happy wiping. heh heh heh heh. happy wiping. say, listen,...
203
203
Nov 14, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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mr. sanford, now you know that that's not the truth. i mean, way down deep inside we're both exactly the same. yeah. deep down. but as you get closer to the surface, i turn black and you turn yellow. what is the matter with you, man? ah chew is our neighbor, and you know what it says in the bible. "love thy neighbor." well, the guy who wrote the bible didn't live in this neighborhood. if he had, he'd have said, "love thy neighbor, but locketh thy windows." ah chew! gesundheit. listen, i know that's not your true feelings, mr. sanford. i mean i know that way down deep inside you really love me. don't you touch me, egg roll! i really close your eyes up for you. mr. sanford... you're a hopeless case. i'll check you later, lamont. ciao, chew. are hopeless, man. now when the group gets here next week-- wait a minute! hold it, hold it! stop right there. would you instant replay that for me? when what group gets here? the group. every week they have it at a different person's house. next week it's gonna be here. not here. i don't want them gro
mr. sanford, now you know that that's not the truth. i mean, way down deep inside we're both exactly the same. yeah. deep down. but as you get closer to the surface, i turn black and you turn yellow. what is the matter with you, man? ah chew is our neighbor, and you know what it says in the bible. "love thy neighbor." well, the guy who wrote the bible didn't live in this neighborhood. if he had, he'd have said, "love thy neighbor, but locketh thy windows." ah chew!...
281
281
Nov 15, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 281
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mr. sanford? gelding? a gelding? i--i didn't know this was a gelding horse. i thought it was a racehorse. hey, come on, pop. the race is over. mr. sanford, just--just how much did you think you could get for this horse? oh, $100,000. $50,000. i'd ever sell him for $30,000. would you take 25? $25,000? uh, no. $25. $25? that's right. you see, mr. sanford, and i would rather spend $25 to keep him in a pasture then to see him pulling a junk wagon. well, i'm a sentimentalist, too, and i wouldn't part with him for less than 50. well, in that case-- wait a minute. how 'bout 30, and i'll throw in the pants? that's a deal. well, at least you got something out of it. yeah. i didn't do too bad. there's one thing i can't understand, pop. why would they geld a horse in the first place? well, maybe it'll make him run faster. but how could that be? well, i know if they was gonna do that to me, your insurance company won't replace the full value of your totaled new car. the guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. no, i picked the wrong insurance company. with liberty m
mr. sanford? gelding? a gelding? i--i didn't know this was a gelding horse. i thought it was a racehorse. hey, come on, pop. the race is over. mr. sanford, just--just how much did you think you could get for this horse? oh, $100,000. $50,000. i'd ever sell him for $30,000. would you take 25? $25,000? uh, no. $25. $25? that's right. you see, mr. sanford, and i would rather spend $25 to keep him in a pasture then to see him pulling a junk wagon. well, i'm a sentimentalist, too, and i wouldn't...
125
125
Nov 4, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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mr. sanford? are you awake? your son is here to see you. how you feeling, pop? oh, i feel pretty bad, son. you know, you did the right thing when you brought me here. oh, yeah? uh-huh. yeah, i bet you they found a whole lot of stuff wrong with me. and then again, they might not. but just in case they don't, i've made up a little list of things for you to do around the house when you get back home. huh? like washing the windows and cleaning the truck and washing the floors and-- well, i don't wanna bore you with that now. i'll show it to you when you get home. yeah, son. you know, if i ever get back home, i'll do all the stuff you want me to do right now, but just in case i don't get back, you'll understand why i didn't do it. oh, yeah. if they find something seriously wrong with you. you, know, once you're out of here, say, i thought it was the one next to the wall, didn't you? no, it's this one. it is? yes, sir. you're going for a little ride. not until you tell me where... and give me a round-trip ticket. that's what happened on television the other night in p
mr. sanford? are you awake? your son is here to see you. how you feeling, pop? oh, i feel pretty bad, son. you know, you did the right thing when you brought me here. oh, yeah? uh-huh. yeah, i bet you they found a whole lot of stuff wrong with me. and then again, they might not. but just in case they don't, i've made up a little list of things for you to do around the house when you get back home. huh? like washing the windows and cleaning the truck and washing the floors and-- well, i don't...
269
269
Nov 11, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 269
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mr. sanford. this is a very important day for you, huh? hey, pop, rollo's my friend. why don't you try and make him feel at home? i'm sorry, son. rollo, feel at home. i do. well, would you do me a favor? certainly. would you take the garbage out? of course. where is it? in your shoes. behave yourself, man. hey, man, that's all right. i was leaving anyway. hey, later. how about never? one dummy ain't enough in this house, home super dummy. well, super dummy chipped in with regular dummy and some of your other friends and we got you a little present. happy anniversary, pop. uh, where the present? did you drop it? i wanted to shake your hand. well, thanks. where's the present? hey, don't worry about the present, pop. you'll get that tonight. oh, i know. you're giving me a surprise party. but i don't like surprise parties. i just like the presents. just a few of your friends are coming over her tonight for a little get-together. now, why'd you have to tell me that for? because you just said you don't like surprises. no, but you're supposed to trick me. see, you're suppose
mr. sanford. this is a very important day for you, huh? hey, pop, rollo's my friend. why don't you try and make him feel at home? i'm sorry, son. rollo, feel at home. i do. well, would you do me a favor? certainly. would you take the garbage out? of course. where is it? in your shoes. behave yourself, man. hey, man, that's all right. i was leaving anyway. hey, later. how about never? one dummy ain't enough in this house, home super dummy. well, super dummy chipped in with regular dummy and some...
211
211
Nov 22, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 211
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mr. sanford. mmm... e is up. would you dig yourself, pop? listen, as confucius once said, "if you don't want an order of knuckles in your face, then get your pork and noodles out my place." hey, man, ignore him. ignore who? ha ha! listen, man, i got to tell you... i listened to you last night, and it sounded fantastic. hat girl out of here. huh? that's not what he's talking about, pop. see, i called up the talkback show, and i said a few things, that's all. that's all? oh, listen, i'm telling you, it was terrific, man. the whole neighborhood is talking about it. what'd you say? well, i just, you know-- oh, he was, like, angry. he talked about old people and unemployment and ugly buildings. ish everybody would leave me alone, man. i got some work to do around here. i'll get this, son. don't worry about it. i'll make them leave you alone. don't you worry about a thing. you're lamont sanford. yes, sir, i am. who are you? and you're perfect-- absolutely perfect. [snaps fingers] hey, wait a minute. i know you. i saw you on television at the last
mr. sanford. mmm... e is up. would you dig yourself, pop? listen, as confucius once said, "if you don't want an order of knuckles in your face, then get your pork and noodles out my place." hey, man, ignore him. ignore who? ha ha! listen, man, i got to tell you... i listened to you last night, and it sounded fantastic. hat girl out of here. huh? that's not what he's talking about, pop. see, i called up the talkback show, and i said a few things, that's all. that's all? oh, listen, i'm...
111
111
Nov 16, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 111
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mr. sanford, i'm surprised at you. maybe my father will feel better if he understood the relationship the 3 of y'all. i know i would. uncle fred, uncle fred, look. delores and lewis and i are equal friends. now, what does that mean? that means i wouldn't do nothing with lewis that i couldn't do with delores. i mean, we'll be-- we'll be taking our meals together and we'll be studying together. that's right, and lewis is very handy. he can fix things around the apartment and stuff. but when it comes to anything else, he's got his dates and i got mine. yeah, and i got mine, heh. yeah, right. [knocking on door] who is it? esther: it's esther. we moved. open up. open up? we living in detroit now. catch the bus and join us. say, look, um, if i were you, i wouldn't tell aunt esther that the 3 of y'all are living together, ok? [knocking on door] oh, hey, i'll get it. aunt esther. hi, honey. hello, lamont. how was mexico? it--it was fine, aunt esther, but i had to cut my--my visit short. yeah, esther. why don't you do the same
mr. sanford, i'm surprised at you. maybe my father will feel better if he understood the relationship the 3 of y'all. i know i would. uncle fred, uncle fred, look. delores and lewis and i are equal friends. now, what does that mean? that means i wouldn't do nothing with lewis that i couldn't do with delores. i mean, we'll be-- we'll be taking our meals together and we'll be studying together. that's right, and lewis is very handy. he can fix things around the apartment and stuff. but when it...
708
708
Nov 30, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 708
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mr. sanford. he's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance, precipitated by acute anti-gravitational pull in the lower abdominal cavity. i gotta throw up! gonna be all right. i'm just a little seasick from the earthquake. i take it you and lamont have read this morning's paper, the article about the 2 russian seismologists. oh, yeah, i saw it. say, lamont, what's he talking about? what 2 russians? well, these 2 russian seismologists said they've discovered a new fault. well, what was wrong with the old one? and they're predicting a massive earthquake on november 6. november 6? that's only 5 days away! don't worry about a thing, pop. with you, lamont. today is november 1, and it's extremely possible that november 6 is only 5 days away. excuse me, mr. wilson, i think what lamont meant was that the massive earthquake is unlikely to happen. oh, that's good! wow, thank you, lamont! you know, none of the american experts agree with the russian experts, either. what do they say? well, here's
mr. sanford. he's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance, precipitated by acute anti-gravitational pull in the lower abdominal cavity. i gotta throw up! gonna be all right. i'm just a little seasick from the earthquake. i take it you and lamont have read this morning's paper, the article about the 2 russian seismologists. oh, yeah, i saw it. say, lamont, what's he talking about? what 2 russians? well, these 2 russian seismologists said they've discovered a new fault. well, what...
363
363
Nov 28, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 363
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mr. sanford, just--just lie down on the couch. now see, i help people by getting them to relax and say exactly what's on their mind. now go ahead. lie down on the couch. ok. now i know this might seem a little bit strange to you. relax. [clears throat] but, uh, we have a way of getting people to relax by playing a word game. oh, you're gonna play a game? yeah. i love games. did you ever play pin the mule's tail on esther's face? i'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes into your mind, all right? ok, doc. are you relaxed? yeah. doc, listen. let me tell you, what is causing all my son's headaches? well, first of all, your son does not want to admit the first thing that's causing the headaches. well, what is it? he hates you. my-- son-- hates-- you. hey, let's go back to that word game again. all right. all right... fist. [speaking inaudibly] mind yourself. cool it. [both speaking inaudibly] he hates me. my own son hates me. after i gave him the best years of my life. i ain't got nobody that cares for me. you still got
mr. sanford, just--just lie down on the couch. now see, i help people by getting them to relax and say exactly what's on their mind. now go ahead. lie down on the couch. ok. now i know this might seem a little bit strange to you. relax. [clears throat] but, uh, we have a way of getting people to relax by playing a word game. oh, you're gonna play a game? yeah. i love games. did you ever play pin the mule's tail on esther's face? i'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes into your...
788
788
Nov 30, 2016
11/16
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mr. sanford. he's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance,
mr. sanford. he's merely experiencing a mild gastrointestinal imbalance,
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162
Nov 10, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 162
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mr. sanford? no, son, i got her here under false pretenses, and, you know, your happiness is more important to me than $7,000. i ain't gonna never butt into your business again. lamont: you're sure about that? positive. hi. i'm nora simpson. look. you get the door. i'll get some ice. hi. i-- shh! hmm? what's the matter? uh, nothing. everything's perfect, janet, except you're too late. ah, you said a quarter after 8:00. oh, no, you were here on time, showed up, and she did everything that you were supposed to do. oh. is she an actress, too? no, no. she's not an actress. nobody could act that good. but listen. everything worked out perfectly, and i appreciate you coming over here, janet. i'll call you up tomorrow and tell you all about it. all right. ok? good-bye. who was that? uh, nobody, pop. it was just somebody looking for an address, you know. what are you gonna do about lush-a-mate here? don't worry about her. i can just get home. i'm fine. i'm fine. i got my car out there parked... on the sid
mr. sanford? no, son, i got her here under false pretenses, and, you know, your happiness is more important to me than $7,000. i ain't gonna never butt into your business again. lamont: you're sure about that? positive. hi. i'm nora simpson. look. you get the door. i'll get some ice. hi. i-- shh! hmm? what's the matter? uh, nothing. everything's perfect, janet, except you're too late. ah, you said a quarter after 8:00. oh, no, you were here on time, showed up, and she did everything that you...
392
392
Nov 3, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 392
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mr. sanford. good. and that's um, uh, um... lamont. yeah, that's lamont. sit down, sonny, have a little sit down. yeah, sit down, sonny, have a little sit down, right here. that depends on who you ask. if you ask me, i'm a lawyer. well, who says you're not a lawyer? the state of california. but sonny knows more law than most judges. go ahead, ask him anything, fred. well, look here, sonny. now, lamont here got a traffic ticket, and he's innocent. now, what should he do about it? well, 2 viable options immediately suggest themselves. he can either pay the fine or fight it. oh, did you hear that, fred? man, that was real talk! look, look, look. i'm gonna pay the fine just like i did the last 2 and just skip all the hassle. you have 2 prior tickets? yeah. within the past year? yeah. if you have 2 prior tickets within the past year, do you know what this means? what? this means that this is your third ticket. i told you he was good! man, he's good! under california law, you're only allowed 4 tickets in one year. and if this one goes on your record as the third
mr. sanford. good. and that's um, uh, um... lamont. yeah, that's lamont. sit down, sonny, have a little sit down. yeah, sit down, sonny, have a little sit down, right here. that depends on who you ask. if you ask me, i'm a lawyer. well, who says you're not a lawyer? the state of california. but sonny knows more law than most judges. go ahead, ask him anything, fred. well, look here, sonny. now, lamont here got a traffic ticket, and he's innocent. now, what should he do about it? well, 2 viable...
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175
Nov 29, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 175
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mr. sanford. we're just dying to meet her. really? oh, well, i'll get her for you. i'll go and get her. hey, you know, i think he's beginning to like you, grace, 'cause if he didn't, he'd have done something dumb. hey, everybody, this is mabel. hey, pop, that's grady's cousin's grandmother! see, i first met her when i was 34 and she was 44, and it didn't make much difference then. pop. hold on, son, listen. we were like 2 chickens in the coop. the problem is, i'm still clucking, and i ain't heard a peep out of her in years. mabel, this is my son, lamont. mabel? how do you do? no, no, that's not him. this is his girlfriend here, grace. d to meet you, ace. no, dear, it's grace. g-r-a-c-e. grace. oh, grace. dear lord, we thank you for this food we're about to receive. uh, lamont, lamont. grace and mabel-- y'all sit down right here and i'll pour you some champagne well, aren't we cute? young me, and old her. see, when we were young, you know, i was 34 and she was 44, it didn't seem like we'd end up this ugly a couple, did it? we'll have a little toast anyway right here. little drink for you
mr. sanford. we're just dying to meet her. really? oh, well, i'll get her for you. i'll go and get her. hey, you know, i think he's beginning to like you, grace, 'cause if he didn't, he'd have done something dumb. hey, everybody, this is mabel. hey, pop, that's grady's cousin's grandmother! see, i first met her when i was 34 and she was 44, and it didn't make much difference then. pop. hold on, son, listen. we were like 2 chickens in the coop. the problem is, i'm still clucking, and i ain't...
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182
Nov 25, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 182
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mr. sanford here is your new part-owner, and i want you to do everything he tells you. this one! up! - look, i got a blank contract right here. - let me check this over first 'cause it's got to be right. that's right. there you go. my john hancock. - yeah, well now, good luck and train him hard now. - i will do that, yerby. hey now, where you going? - i got to go contact my parole officer. - i thought so... oh, no! you big dummy! t the hell out of, don't ever hit your manager. (audience applauding) here i am. i haven't been in "the wide world of sports" two minutes, - [fred] is that you, son? - of course it's me, who else would it be? - hey, what's the matter with you? what you cranky and grouchy about? - i'm cranky and grouchy 'cause i got a flat tire on the truck, and i changed it, and the spare was flat. i had to walk two and a half miles from al's garage, and that's also the reason ld push that truck in it. - forget the truck. i'm thinking seriously of getting you a half-ton pickup from rolls and royce. (audience laughs) - uh-oh. - what? - i recognize that familiar gleam in your
mr. sanford here is your new part-owner, and i want you to do everything he tells you. this one! up! - look, i got a blank contract right here. - let me check this over first 'cause it's got to be right. that's right. there you go. my john hancock. - yeah, well now, good luck and train him hard now. - i will do that, yerby. hey now, where you going? - i got to go contact my parole officer. - i thought so... oh, no! you big dummy! t the hell out of, don't ever hit your manager. (audience...
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216
Nov 11, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 216
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mr. sanford, grady is marrying me. what he does from now on really is just none of your business. well, that's true. i just want to wish you the best of success and happiness and everything. let's have a little drink and toast it. that would be nice. yeah. that'll be wonderful. i got some... i got some good sparkling burgundy here. you do? yeah. was that a good year? no. that's a good price. ah. dolly, we toast a little toast to you for your matrimony. watch it! watch it, you clumsy fool! look what you've done! forgive me. [stuttering] look at me! what--what is this? look! look at me! i apologize. well, just look at me. look at you? well, what am i gonna do now? well, look, dolly. here's what you do. you go upstairs and take your dress off and wash it out with some cold water. you throw it down, and i'll do it. go on upstairs and wash that out. wait a minute. here. take these with you to take the chill off. oh, you clumsy-- dolly, just take it off, and there's a robe in the bathroom on the nail. throw the dress down. fred: i'm coming. wait a minute. hey! i'm coming! come on, fred.
mr. sanford, grady is marrying me. what he does from now on really is just none of your business. well, that's true. i just want to wish you the best of success and happiness and everything. let's have a little drink and toast it. that would be nice. yeah. that'll be wonderful. i got some... i got some good sparkling burgundy here. you do? yeah. was that a good year? no. that's a good price. ah. dolly, we toast a little toast to you for your matrimony. watch it! watch it, you clumsy fool! look...
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297
Nov 14, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 297
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mr. sanford, you could have been on that truck to help him. listen, ping pong... when i want your advice, i'll give it to you. i've been busy all day getting my dip ready... dope. you want some? why don't you offer our guest some first? we have guests? and make him feel welcome? i will. ah chew, there's outside. you're welcome to it. what is that? what is it? yeah. this is pig feet, pig snoot-- see the one with the holes in it? that's snoot. and sardines and oysters and a quart and a half of mayonnaise and just a smidgen of garlic. what do you call it? the mayo clinic. [knock on door] come on in! come on in! good evening. say, listen, calvin, you got everything all right? i certainly did. i must... i see. listen, as long as this is personal business, i really should split. you should split whether it's personal, impersonal, or monkey. hey, man, why don't you dig yourself, pop? nah, it's cool, lamont. i can take a hint. lamont: hey, ciao, chew. all right, calvin. how we doing? well, according to my calculations, you owe the united states government 10 bucks with or
mr. sanford, you could have been on that truck to help him. listen, ping pong... when i want your advice, i'll give it to you. i've been busy all day getting my dip ready... dope. you want some? why don't you offer our guest some first? we have guests? and make him feel welcome? i will. ah chew, there's outside. you're welcome to it. what is that? what is it? yeah. this is pig feet, pig snoot-- see the one with the holes in it? that's snoot. and sardines and oysters and a quart and a half of...
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73
Nov 21, 2016
11/16
by
WRAL
tv
eye 73
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mr. sanford has bad rheumatism in his back, and he told me that he dihow he got along my helping him with the chores. he keeps wanting me to take money. nice foster parents for margit and me. i'll talk to the sanfords. m pleased you chose them. and so, arrangements have been made for inga, stig, margaretha, and now, if the sanfords adopt you and lennart, we'll all know where we're going. my precious bo. children, you must get ready for bed. inga. inga, what's happened? why are you treating me like i did something wrong? maybe i did. if i did, i don't know what it is. i'll apologize anyway. like me anymore, just tell me. eren't such a baby, you'd have enough decency to a aleast answer me. just like a baby with no tongue! oh, leave me alone! , would you do me a favor, please? will you tell your mother i'd like to talk tone? i'll wait for her out here. thank you, inga. hey, what's the matter with you, bub? you kind of look like a sick calf. well, i am sick, major. i'm sicked of the way in's been treating me. the whole lindstrom family's carrying on like the rest of the people in are feuding
mr. sanford has bad rheumatism in his back, and he told me that he dihow he got along my helping him with the chores. he keeps wanting me to take money. nice foster parents for margit and me. i'll talk to the sanfords. m pleased you chose them. and so, arrangements have been made for inga, stig, margaretha, and now, if the sanfords adopt you and lennart, we'll all know where we're going. my precious bo. children, you must get ready for bed. inga. inga, what's happened? why are you treating me...
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107
Nov 12, 2016
11/16
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MSNBCW
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eye 107
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mr. sanford told nbc news, after the session winds down, it's not uncommon for him to go out of pocket for a few days at a time to clear his head. >> released a statement a little later on that evening that said the governor is hiking the appalachian trail and that he'll be back in a couple of days. at the time, it's important to remember that everybody in the office thinks this is true. >> then comes the he's hiking the appalachian trail, which now becomes the way that you describe everything, oh, what happened with that marriage? oh, he was hiking the appalachian trail. >> my initial instincts were that story is dubious. if he'd been hiking the appalachian trail, it's pretty easy to go find where he is and get him to ashville or to some other town to wave in front of the camera and say this is a ridiculous story, and they didn't do that. my colleagues and i looked at each other in the newsroom and said what about those e-mails. >> those e-mails had been a batch of correspondence anonymously leaked six months earlier, reportedly written by sanford to his mistress in argentina. >> there we
mr. sanford told nbc news, after the session winds down, it's not uncommon for him to go out of pocket for a few days at a time to clear his head. >> released a statement a little later on that evening that said the governor is hiking the appalachian trail and that he'll be back in a couple of days. at the time, it's important to remember that everybody in the office thinks this is true. >> then comes the he's hiking the appalachian trail, which now becomes the way that you describe...
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171
Nov 9, 2016
11/16
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WNCN
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eye 171
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mrs. lamont sanford." uh, maybe i better stay here after all. oh, no, sugar. you just go on out and enjoy your bowlin' night. bye. it's not gonna work, judy. that's what you think. everything is fine out in the kitchen. good. are we gonna have our smoked pork butt now? oh, in a minute. but first, we gonna sit down here i want you to get nice and comfortable. you comfy now? yeah, i'm comfy. i'm hungry, too. say--say, that was really nice of you to take off in the evening to spend with an old man. you wanna know something? i like older men. you do? mm-hmm. they're so much more refined and experienced and wise. they are? mm-hmm. they really are, daddy. can i call you daddy, grady? if--yeah, you can call me granny or dadey or just anything. i want you to stop calling yourself a old man. you not such a old man. i'm not? mm-mmm, daddy. you still got it. now i'm gonna get your supper. oh, lord. maybe i still got it, ahh, she likes older men. [speaking spanish] yeah. i begin to understand. you do? yeah. you ask me if you got it. you got it. and she wants it. what? you
mrs. lamont sanford." uh, maybe i better stay here after all. oh, no, sugar. you just go on out and enjoy your bowlin' night. bye. it's not gonna work, judy. that's what you think. everything is fine out in the kitchen. good. are we gonna have our smoked pork butt now? oh, in a minute. but first, we gonna sit down here i want you to get nice and comfortable. you comfy now? yeah, i'm comfy. i'm hungry, too. say--say, that was really nice of you to take off in the evening to spend with an...
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151
Nov 18, 2016
11/16
by
WNCN
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eye 151
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i'm lamont sanford, and this is grady wilson. well, how do you do, mr. wilson? oh, y-yeah, gosh, gee whiz, i--i feel a touch of pneumonia coming on. i've been very susceptible to pneumonia ever since i had a tooth taken out, see? and the cold air keeps rushin' up to my lungs. oh, i'm sorry. well, that's all right, mr. haystack. hastings. oh, that's all right. well, as i'm sure you have already discovered, a mistake regarding your social security check. huh? uh, wait a minute. i can't hear you. i'm sorry, but, you see, uh... the water in my lungs keeps rushing up to my ears. and it makes everybody sound like they're gargling. i'm so sorry. oh, well, that's all right, mr. haystack. hastings! oh, leave him alone. can't you see the man is sick? for him seeing his friend die with water in the ears. i understand, and i'll try to be as brief as possible. now, as you are aware, our computer made a terrible mistake this month. hold it. there goes that gargling again. oh, it go hhrrrrrggh! like that. everything sounds like hhrrrrrggh! our computer made a mistake. it will
i'm lamont sanford, and this is grady wilson. well, how do you do, mr. wilson? oh, y-yeah, gosh, gee whiz, i--i feel a touch of pneumonia coming on. i've been very susceptible to pneumonia ever since i had a tooth taken out, see? and the cold air keeps rushin' up to my lungs. oh, i'm sorry. well, that's all right, mr. haystack. hastings. oh, that's all right. well, as i'm sure you have already discovered, a mistake regarding your social security check. huh? uh, wait a minute. i can't hear you....
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88
Nov 1, 2016
11/16
by
FOXNEWSW
tv
eye 88
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sanford last week, 15,000 people. the rally tomorrow in orlando for mr. trump is at a fairground with several thousand. i know in the younger carefree days you might have gone body sir muching, but you don't want to do that here. >> adam shapiro, thank you so much. >> donald trump making head way in the latest national poll as hillary clinton vote erings seem to lose interest. 538% of trump supporters say they're very enthusiastic about him. that is the same as lost week. only 45% of hillary clinton supporters expressing the same level of enthusiasm. sigh lon is president and founder of the new democratic network and a bill clinton campaign advisor. and editor at large for hotair.com. the numbers could seem positive for drumpgs, but ionald trump, people already in his camp and does he news more swing voters and independents. >>> simon has been lecturing us that trends are important and they're now in favor of the republican nominee. as we see the fallout from the renewed -- it will be hard to quantify one thing which is the democrats or the swing voters that said they will vote for her, but it is hard
sanford last week, 15,000 people. the rally tomorrow in orlando for mr. trump is at a fairground with several thousand. i know in the younger carefree days you might have gone body sir muching, but you don't want to do that here. >> adam shapiro, thank you so much. >> donald trump making head way in the latest national poll as hillary clinton vote erings seem to lose interest. 538% of trump supporters say they're very enthusiastic about him. that is the same as lost week. only 45%...
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Nov 16, 2016
11/16
by
KTVU
tv
eye 116
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. >> hundreds of sanford students walked out of class to protest the election of donald trump. faculty members took part. the walkout focused on mr. trump's vow to crack down on illegal demonstrations. the demonstration was a call for national unity after election that left the nation deeply divided. >> the twists and turns continue. mayor giuliani is the front- runner for secretary of state and former trump rival turned supporter dr. ben carson that says he has no interest in a cabinet position in donald trump's administration. you are watching ktvu fox news at 6:30. >>> the election has created a growing uncertainty for hundreds of thousands of undocumented immigrants working and living in the u.s. under a federal program known as daka. during the campaign president- elect donald trump vowed to end that program and cristina rendon tells us that as some people fearing for their future. >> speaking cantonese and spanish. is part of dianna's wong's job as outreach coordinator. and nonprofit fun helps immigrant and low-income families manage their finances. >> also because of my experience as a daka recipient. i try to focus on the
. >> hundreds of sanford students walked out of class to protest the election of donald trump. faculty members took part. the walkout focused on mr. trump's vow to crack down on illegal demonstrations. the demonstration was a call for national unity after election that left the nation deeply divided. >> the twists and turns continue. mayor giuliani is the front- runner for secretary of state and former trump rival turned supporter dr. ben carson that says he has no interest in a...
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83
Nov 25, 2016
11/16
by
CSPAN3
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eye 83
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mrs. emerson had remarried a man named calvin chafy back in massachusetts and had transferred ownership from the scotts from herself to her brother john sanforde was a resident of new york state. so the scotts were being held in bondage by a man who lived in another state, a free state to boot. so field thought that the strategy would be the scotts could sus sue sanford and take to their residence. they lost in the federal court. but they appealed that case directly to the u.s. supreme court. and that was the case that was heard by the supreme court in 1856, and again in 1857 when they actually rendered their decision. it is is interesting that sanford, his name is on the case. and he doesn't come into it until 1854 when they go to the federal court. and sandford is a key player in that we know the scotts were returned to slavery by the supreme court. yet they were set free in this room just a couple of months later. and the way that happened was that sandford died in new york state. and upon his death the ownership of the scotts reverted to his sister. and technically to her husband, dr. chafy who was from massachusetts. he was an abolitioni
mrs. emerson had remarried a man named calvin chafy back in massachusetts and had transferred ownership from the scotts from herself to her brother john sanforde was a resident of new york state. so the scotts were being held in bondage by a man who lived in another state, a free state to boot. so field thought that the strategy would be the scotts could sus sue sanford and take to their residence. they lost in the federal court. but they appealed that case directly to the u.s. supreme court....