mr. twump, please don't throw me in jail! please, mr. twump! ? ? please, please don't tap my phone, pretty please, mr. twump! ( laughter ) this system has been in place for a while, but, so far, no president has used it. in his eight years in office, president barack obama has never ordered text sent via the wireless emergency alert system. which, now that i know he could have, kind of hurts. ( laughter ) at least on election day, he could have sent a quick, "u up?" i was. i have not slept since election >> jon: yeah, they're knowledgeable. >> stephen: hey, i'm going to miss them, and the studies they do. ( laughter ) one recent study found that owning a cat could make you more into bondage, whereas owning a dog could make you more into "doing it" while a stranger sits in the corner and occasionally barks when he thinks you're hurting each other. ( laughter ) i do feel sorry for dogs. be understood. "stop, stop. i know what you're doing. i'm right here." ( laughter ) the study found that toxoplasmosis, which is a parasitic disease you can catch fro