mrs. lorenzo would fix our phone. oh, yeah, you wanted to fool around with the phone before. yeah, go ahead, go ahead. try and fix it. she can fix nothing. she can fix the phone. huh? she can fix anything. huh. where did you get this lovely toolkit? it was a door prize at one of frank's sales conventions, a toolkit and a set of cookware. she kept the tools and you kept the cookware? frank is one of the best cooks you'll ever run into. oh, i get it. you work in a restaurant, huh? no. i'm just mad about cooking. oh. yeah. i think i've seen guys like you. hey, bunker, i got the news you wanted to hear. braddock just told me, your new neighbors, they're white. that seems to impress everyone around here. yeah, white, white, white. look at them, white. well, mr. braddock's waiting for you next door. oh, thank you. thank you very much. well, bunker, you got what you wanted. correction, you both got what you wanted, but now the estradas are out in the cold. no, they got what they wanted too. braddock sold them a house over on the next block. hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. you mea

mrs. lorenzo. hi, dear. gloria, look. what is that? it's a statue. a statue of what? a lady playing a ukulele. why does she have a fish on her head? that's a carp. and this here is a clock to take your mind off other things. what's it doing here? gloria, before you say any more, i think your father has something to say to you. no, no, meathead, i got nothing to say. come on, archie. don't be shy. lay off, will you, irene. gloria, your father has a little gift for you. irene, will you lay off, huh? give her the gift, archie. huh? give her the present you bought. oh, yeah. um, it's a... a present for you, gloria. thank you. well, open it up and let's see what it is. oh, daddy, it's beautiful! daddy...you got this for me? it's so sheer. i mean, you can see right through it. yeah, well, i guess it should have been a thicker color, you know? daddy...you didn't buy this nightgown for me. you bought that statue for me, didn't you? yeah, because, uh, i think a girl ought to be talking to her father. daddy, i can't tell you how much that means to me that you would buy that sta

mr. lorenzo. that was real nice of you. oh, non fa niente, lionel. i'm only sorry that i won't be there to see the ecstasy on your face when you bite into it. oh, why? can't you make the party? no, i'm afraid not, lionel. irene and i have to rush down to miami. our oldest boy, tony, broke his leg at a football game. oh, that's too bad. i didn't know your son played football. he don't. he was just running to get a good seat. did i have him fooled? ha, ha, ha! don't poke me, huh? no. don't worry. tony's fine. i was just kidding. oh, that's good. but we have to get away for the weekend. a sales convention i promised to attend. sorry, lionel. no, it's okay. which reminds me. did you hear about the salesman no. what happened? it was the first time a bull ever threw the salesman. ain't that awful? ha, ha, ha, ha! stop poking me, huh? that joke is exactly 100 years old today. so, everybody, all together. happy birthday to it happy birthday to it happy birthday, old joke happy birthday to it oh! oh, my! ain't he clever? lionel, here are the plates your mothe

mr. lorenzo. hey, frank. how you doing? good morning, everybody. good morning. oh, jeez. here he is. the duke of lasagna. what do you want? well, it's such a nice day, i thought we'd all take a nice walk down to kelsey's and watch you and irene shoot a little pool. how am i gonna shoot pool? i'm in pain here. my back don't work. yeah, but the hands look like they're doing a good job there. dry up there, will you? what i mean is, how am i gonna shoot pool maybe they could raise the table. don't help me, will you? just look at me here, frank, in pain. my back is on your head. what? that's right, because you put the whammy on the back. look at me. i can hardly move. i can't sit in my own soft chair. i gotta sit in edith's lousy chair. [groans] arch, maybe if you're real nice to frank, he'll take the evil eye off you. i can't do that. i never learnt that part. i only know how to give it. but i do know someone who can take the curse off. well, it don't make no difference, frank. the pool match is off, and that's that. hello, operator. long-distance, please. who you calling long-distance?

mrs. irene lorenzo... who killed me... to mrs. irene lorenzo-- [blows raspberry] that was a hell of a sleep. another day gone by. maybe it's tuesday, if it ain't wednesday. ohh... last will and tail. meathead, you take care of my little girl. don't you ever go on the welfare. support her. don't worry, arch, i'll take care of her. she's my responsibility now and i'll provide for her. daddy, don't worry about us. what about mom? oh, god takes care of dingbats, little girl. where is your mother? right here, archie. oh, yeah, there you are, edith. how are you managing without me? oh, we're fine. i don't wanna hear that. how are you gonna be fine? how youse all gonna live without me around? oh, daddy, we'll be all right. why, ma just won $2 from the daily news for writing her most embarrassing moment. yeah. i'll read it to you. i went down the cellar and found archie dead." bye, arch. bye, daddy. bye, archie. no! edith, come back here. come back here. oh, archie, i'm glad you called me back. i've got something to tell you. i know you'll