myhurt, but it led me to faith, it didn't always hold me. it handled.e it was a big blow to my identity and what i cared about. television magnifies us in the a way where the level of recognition. to lose that identity i thought that maybe no one will care about me. if i'm not that guy on tv. working through that and realizing that setbacks happen. rose: you want to get back in there? you are much more connected to you really are. perhaps this is about, as was churchill's wife said, it's a blessing in disguise. and he said it's a hell of a disguise. gregory: i wouldn't mind a little less disguise. [laughter] can i just speak about another kind of gift. my father was not a person of faith. culturally and ethnically jewish. the, he becamed more vulnerable. he became enthralled by the search. he didn't know where it came from. he was uncomfortable with some of the things i write about my childhood and about him. my mother's alcoholism. he all of a sudden as he gets closer to death is enthralled in the search. as he felt more vulnerable i would