last weekend i flew out to napierville, illinois, the headquartering of the butterball. ( cheers and applause ) got some turkeys here. the butterball turkey talk line, and i sat in with all the good corn-fed information of butterball, and tonight, we want to give you the dramatic conclusion of me t turking. jim. ? ? ? >> "the late show"" presents stephen colbert's turkey tips. >> i visited the butterball call center in napierville, illinois, to talk turkey. hello, this is alan, can i help you? >> i have a question about stuffing. >> stephen: another what's your question about stuffing? >> can i make it wednesday morning and then take it to my and refrigerate it. >> stephen: how far away does she live? >> between niles and park ridge. where are you located? >> stephen: where am i located? right now, i'm in a federal max prison right now. ( laughter ) they're using inmates to answer the phone calls right now. >> truly, did you do something awful? >> stephen: well, i mean, you don't get on death row for parking tickets. >> oh, my goodness. >> stephen: but you know-- >> i have another ca