. >> and i've lived in the city now naturefor 25 years. i realized that a lot of my sadness as a kid certainly had a lot to do with poverty and alcohol addiction and my mental illnesses and all the brain surgeries i had. i think a lot of it had to do with the fact that i was born to live in the city. we often think of native americans as being born to live, you know -- in the wilderness. in the forests and the deserts, closely connected to nature. i think i was born to live in crowds. i'm happiest in crowds. >> can you leave your people without leaving your people? and when you leave can they accept that you're not leaving your people? >> when you come from a very specific like it we do, i think you do leave your people. then i think you spend the rest of your life reclaiming pieces of what you left behind. i think every one of my books is a way to reclaim something i left behind. i think this book is a way to reclaim my mother. >> as you reclaim your mother, what do you intend to do with her? >> i'm just starting that ceremony. i realized