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[ male announcer ] new lubriderm® men's 3-in-1. what makes a hershey's bar pure?t?elt with you" playing] pure fun. pure joy. pure delicious chocolate. pure hershey's. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, david arquette. comedian mike birbiglia. and music from asking alexandria. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome to the show. i'm the host of the program. thank you for watching. thank you for being here tonight. is everyone happy that the government is still running? [ laughter ] i am so, so glad. who would give me my parking tickets? just before midnight, the government and the president agreed on a program that keep the company from not moving forward. and obama postponed a weekend with his family to visit williamsburg. bad news, we're going have to cancel our visit to colonial williamsburg. sorry, sasha and malia. he said, if they didn't have an agreement, he was going to make them go on ainvestigation to colonial williamsburg. i'

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[ male announcer ] new lubriderm® men's 3-in-1. do something different? corner,better can a car simultaneously adjust the speed of each front wheel? this one... just did. the all-new ford focus with torque vectoring control. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome back. cleto in a very intense -- he doesn't just play the sax, he conducts the band, as well. thanks for watching. it's flu night here on the show. the whole staff has the flu. it's like the movie "outbreak," except it's me. she's now a star of the new comedy on abc called "happy endings." elisha cuthbert is here. and then, with music from this, their debut album. it came out this week. it's called "the golden age of knowhere." funeral party from the bud light stage. they brought a big fan contingent as well. tomorrow we'll be joined by vin diesel, neve campbell, and have music from ellie goulding. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally funny man. he's an actor, comedian and former news anchor for "saturday night live." next week, history will be made with the premiere of "s

[ male announcer ] new lubriderm® men's 3-in-1.er and associates ranks lexus the highest in customer satisfaction. no wonder more people have chosen lexus over any other luxury brand 11 years in a row. see your lexus dealer. it was in my sister's neighborhood. i told you it was perfect for you guys. literally across the street from her sister. [ banker ] but someone else bought it before they could get their offer together. we really missed a great opportunity -- dodged a bullet there. [ banker ] so we talked to them about the wells fargo priority buyer preapproval. it lets people know that you are a serious buyer because you've been credit-approved. we got everything in order so that we can move on the next place we found. which was clear on the other side of town. [ male announcer ] wells fargo. with you when you're ready to move. >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a bravo tv executive responsible for many of your favorite shows from "top chef" to all the "real housewives." he's awesome. [ cheers ] he also hosts