new miller fortune.ed nights. [ peaches & herb singing "reunited"] ♪ reunited and it feels so good ♪ ♪ reunited 'cause we understood ♪ ♪ there's one perfect fit ♪ and, sugar, this one is it ♪ we both are so excited 'cause we're reunited, hey, hey ♪ [richard] get your billion back america! can i pet your cloud please? sure! [ rumbling ] woah! aah! he doesn't like to be touched there. mmm! [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow! taste the rainbow. >> stephen: back with (cheers and applause) >> it is 11:5 the and 59 minutes this happened on mashable. is he going to finally get his guest star on the walk of fame, is he going on-- de page a paternity test to prove he's not luke and leia's father? none of the above! darth vader announced his candidacy for president of the ukraine as a member of the ukrainian internet party. (applause)

new miller fortune. with a smooth finish for spirited nights. ♪ hard work, work there you go. ♪ hard work, work ♪ everybody's doin' it right ♪ hard work, work ♪ hard work, that's what we say ♪ ♪ hard work, work ahhhhhh! ♪ hard work, i earn my pay ♪ hard work, work ♪ hard work, do it every day ♪ hard work, work ♪ get up 'bout a quarter to three ♪ ♪ hard work, work ♪ got to go and earn my pay ♪ hard work, work ♪ hard work, that's what we say ♪ ♪ hard work, work [cheers and applause] >> jon: quoal back -- welcome back my guest tonight an actor. stars in hbo's game of thrones about. to premiere its fourth season. >> do you know what they did to my brother? how they sued his head to his body and my mother. they say they cut they are throat to the bone and threw her body in. >> jon: what happened to your family was a terrible crime. i didn't know your brother. he seemed like a good man, but i didn't know him. your mother, on the other hand, i admired her. she wanted to have me executed but i admired her. [laug

new miller fortune.lled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. to dinner.t impossible to get them to sit down that's why we have... kfc dip'ems! a kfc dip'ems bucket, 20 extra crispy tenders. 6 awesome sauces. i mean he's sitting still, this is kind of miraculous. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: quoal back -- welcome back my guest tonight an actor. stars in hbo's game of thrones about. to premiere its fourth season. >> do you know what they did to my brother? how they sued his head to his body and my mother. they say they cut they are throat to the bone and threw her body in. >> jon: what happened to your family was a terrible crime. i didn't know your brother. he seemed like a good man, but i didn't know him. your mother, on the other hand, i admired her. she wanted to have me executed but i admired her. [laughter] >> jon: please welcome back to the program peter dinklage. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> jon: young man. >> shall we continue the scene? [laughter] >> jon: i admired her v

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights.and applause] >> jon: welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight legendary footballer won three world cups during his professional career is the all-time leading goal scorer in soccer history. his new book is called why soccer matters. here is a little taste, just a small taste, of what made him the greatest of all time. ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: wow. please welcome pele. so good to see you. [cheers and applause] it's such an honor for me to have you here not just because of how great you were as a player but how you played the game with such tenacity, such skill but always with such heart. i admire that greatly. >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> you know, jon, sometimes it's hard to understand why because just god know why you do some things. you know? >> jon: yeah. >> my father was a soccer player. played professional. >> jon: oh, he did play professional? >> yeah, my father was a professional in state where i born and then they went to state of sao paolo and

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights.ce to watch full seasons of tv's hottest shows for free with xfinity on demand. there's romance, face slaps, whatever that is, pirates, helicopters, pirate-copters... argh! hmm. it's so huge, it's being broadcast on mars. heroes...bad guys... asteroids. available only on mars. there's watching. then there's watchathoning. ♪ >> jon: that's our show. here it is your moment of zen. >> especially today on a day when we deal with the supernatural. when we good to church the supernatural power of god. you deal with. that people are saying why not you deal with. that people are saying why not talk about the possibility, i'm captioning sponsored by mtv television networks ( clearing throat ): for my next trick notice i have nothing up my sleeves and nothing in my head. so, if my lovely assistant will kindly supply me with an ordinary, non-fake pitcher of milk... behold-- the milk has vanished. exiled, perhaps, to another dimension. amazing. that's why they call you bender the magnificent. no,

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. back -- welcome back my guest tonight an actor. stars in hbo's game of thrones about. to premiere its fourth season. >> do you know what they did to my brother? how they sued his head to his body and my mother. they say they cut they are throat to the bone and threw her body in. >> jon: what happened to your family was a terrible crime. i didn't know your brother. he seemed like a good man, but i didn't know him. your mother, on the other hand, i admired her. she wanted to have me executed but i admired her. [laughter] >> jon: please welcome back to the program peter dinklage. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> jon: young man. >> shall we continue the scene? [laughter] >> jon: i admired her very much. please. >> pass the raisins. [laughter] >> jon: i really. when she was saying my brother's head was boiled -- i was like that's why we watch game of thrones. it's a nice day for a red wedding. >> jon: that was the crazy -- >> billy idol, people. >> jon: did you see the videos

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new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. it's an invitation to stop and savor the unmistakable taste that reminds us that life is delicious. boring! yeah! ♪ if you want to see old faithful ♪ ♪ don't be such a couch potato ♪ ♪ yeah just go check out the thing for yourself ♪ highlander! ♪ we ain't got no room for boring ♪ ♪ ferdy gerdy ferdy ger boom! [ cluck, cluck ] ♪ no, we ain't got no room ♪ for boring ♪ for boring, we ain't got no room ♪ ahh! [ male announcer ] the all-new highlander. toyota. [ animal ] let's go places. [ male announcer ] the all-new highlander. [ peaches & herb singing "reunited"] ♪ reunited and it feels so good ♪ ♪ reunited 'cause we understood ♪ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! folks, if you're just joining our program already in progress, before the halftime break, i was taking it hot and hard to the national labor relations board for allowing northwestern university football players to form a union. if one of those thugs were here, i would give him a piece of my mind. here

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights.weather report. go & smell the roses! [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. we're here with michael lewis. we're talking about this group of exbanger and hedge fund guy and wall street guys that formed their own stock exchange because of the high frequency traders were rigging the market. what is the bank's role in this high frequency scam? >> you back away and there's an ecosystem that built itself around high frequency traders skimming profits. they pay the exchanges for special access, special information that ordinary investors don't have. they pay the brokers, the people who handle stock market orders for your order. when you place an order you pay a commission to trade the stock. but the information about what you want to do gets sold to a high frequency trader and the right to trade against you gets sold. that in itself. why would someone pay to execute your stock market order? you would think someone would ask that question. >> jon: they do because this trader gets a volu

new miller fortune.spirited nights. >> that's it the for the report, everybody, good night. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> it's 112:59 and 59 seconds this happened on vine, for reasons unwe nose to many the #lady dippers is now trending. just take a second and try to figure out what you think that might mean. well, they feature women sent to us packing a lip full of tobacco and user-- you have even seen it yet. (laughter) user has cornered the market. here is what this looks like.

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. giant el camino on monster tires. and bolder than taking that behemoth and breaking the world bus-jumping record by 2 1/2 buses. [ screaming ] [ screaming ] [ male announcer ] and they're crunchy. [ engine revs ] crunchier than driving through a fine china shop that sells professional-grade fireworks out of the back. ♪ doritos jacked. bigger. bolder. thicker. [ engine turns over ] [ male announcer ] the 2014 nissan altima. with 270 horses... ♪ ...blind spot warning... ♪ ...and advanced drive assist. ♪ nothing beats an altima. except another altima. ♪ nissan. innovation that excites. ♪ wanted to go and see a lion up close. this zoom lens is amazing. go and smell the roses! >> jon: that's our show. your moment of zen. >> how dangerous earthquakes can be. part of that is this earthquake simulator which attempts to replicate a -- captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. >> stephen: welcome back. abc journalist who has a new book about taming the voice in the head. let's see if he can tame the voice in my mouth. please welcome dan harris. [applause] sit down, there you go. all right. there's a few people out there who may not know that you're the emmy and award winning journalist, the co-host of "nightline", and the weekend anchor of good morning america. you reported on combat from afghanistan and made six trips to iraq. your new book is called 10% happier. how i tamed the voice in my head. how it actually works, a true story. zyme afraid that's all we have time for. thanks for coming. [ applause ] >> stephen: now wha, is 10% happier mean? >> well, i said a lot of times in the reform of this book hanging around with self-help gurus solve your problems through the power of thinking -- >> stephen: why can't you? >> it's impossible. >> stephen: yes, i can. i used to not be happy all the time, and then i grew a pair and manned up. [ >> that's awesome. >> stephen: boom. >> you jus

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights.le, you get back up. up isn't easy, and we ought to know. we're in the business of up. everyday delta flies a quarter of million people while investing billions improving everything from booking to baggage claim. we're raising the bar on flying and tomorrow we will up it yet again. >> stephen: that's it for the report, everybody captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> from comedy central's world husband nrkz in new york, this is dale "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we have a beautiful show tonight. we've a beautiful show tonight. tonight's guest matt taibbi, a journalist, author of "the divide: american injustice in the age of the wealth gap." it's a lf story. it's lovely. i added that last part. our top story tonight begins in congress. last week the senate intelligence committee voted to declassify a comprehensive

new miller fortune. undistilled with a smooth finish for spirited nights. i pet your cloud please? sure! [ rumbling ] woah! aah! he doesn't like to be touched there. mmm! [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow! taste the rainbow. [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow! i'll have the deconstructed marvelous choice. how exactly does one deconstruct a martini? it's not so much deconstruction of a martini as it is a steampunk reboot of a martini. first we start with the essentials, of course smirnoff and ice. you know we're muddling some cardamom. this is actually tap water from the library of congress. we're just gonna spritz that in there. i like to really curate my herbs. no. you actually have to have a permit to operate one of these but i don't. freshly slapped sage and then like the barest suggestion of mint. you can't really shake it like this if your chakras aren't as well balanced as mine are. i do not like the way those leaves are resting. and, voila! i went to seven years of school for that in stockholm. smirnoff. for the perfect martini, vodka tonic and what

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new miller fortune. just unbelievable. i can't thank you enough. i can't thank you enough for coming here our first week. you know how much of a big deal it is for me, and so i really appreciate you being here for me. i love it. thank you. >> i love you, man. >> jimmy: i gotta say, we do "history of rap." when we're done, you don't show this on tv but i'm -- i'm always passed out sweating. i'm a big doughy sweat ball. and i'm like -- [ exaggerated breath ] and you're just like -- "take care, jimmy. see ya later." [ laughter ] >> no, no. >> jimmy: getting on the treadmill and running. >> not this time. >> jimmy: yeah. no -- >> i think, since you started the show, i was, like, 13. the last "late night." >> jimmy: yeah "late night." you were -- >> i'm 33 now. >> jimmy: dude, you're always in such good shape. but every time you're on, we're always sick. >> we're always sick. >> jimmy: both of us are always sick. >> i'm like -- >> jimmy: are you on the mucinex thing right now? >> i did the mucinex. now i'm on

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new miller fortune. welcome back, everybody. you know my next guest from his popular roles in shows like "sex and the city," "desperate housewives" and "twin peaks." now you can see him starring in the new nbc drama, "believe" airing sunday nights at 9:00pm on nbc. please welcome, kyle maclachlan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> what's fred doing here? >> seth: i know. it's very strange. it's very strange because you're known for so many iconic, dramatic roles but of course -- >> i want to talk about fred -- >> seth: no, no. he's -- no, no. >> i was looking at fred. i was thinking -- >> seth: we can always look at fred. but you, of course, play the mayor on portlandia. [ cheers ] >> yeah. >> seth: and it's plainly different than anything you've done before. >> lightly different. it's all improv-based. >> seth: yeah. so you only improvise on the show. >> only improvise on that show. >> seth: that's so strange because everything fred and i do on this show is so tightly scripted. [ laug

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miller fortune. your fortune awaits. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight best selling author his newof silence. the duke lacrosse scandal the power of elite and the corruption of our brought universities. william cohan, please come on out here. [cheers and applause] all right. okay. >> jon: we don't have a ton of time so we're going to get right to it. what do you want deal with first is in the duke lacrosse scandal, the power of the elite or the corruption of our great universities? >> well, i mean they all go together. that's the point of the book is that they do all go together in ways that, you know, we may not have anticipated when we send our kids off to college thinking they are going to get a great education. >> jon: is that though just reflective after this divide in society as a whole. this idea duke is an enclave of more wealth and more privilege than it's surroundinging town. is it nt a microcosm of a larger issue in the country? >> there's no question that ncaa division i athletes are put on a pedestal in this country. and there's no question we're dealing in realtime. w

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