joining us live now to answer that question and more is nick layton, etiquette expert and host of the hit podcast were you raised by wolves? hey, nick. >> hello. great to be here. and i think this bride may have been raised by wolves a little bit. i was just going to ask you, you know, is it the bride or the bridesmaid? >> because, you know, the bridesmaid shared the story on reddit and she's kind of thinking about maybe lying to get out of it. oh my gosh, what do you think here? >> it's a bonkers story, and i think there's plenty of blame to go around for sure. but i think the big theme here is let's not lie. let's not lie to people about backing out. so i think as a baseline, i think we do need to be a little honest. but i do think it's important if you're having a wedding to have a wedding, that is the type of wedding that the people you want there can actually attend. and i think so often we work backwards. we start with the destination some far north boreal circle, scandinavian destination that we forget, oh, who can we cram in there rather than who are my friends, who i really w

on getting answers today, we asked etiquette expert nick layton for his assessment. >> and i think sockwards. we start with the destination some far north boreal circle scandinavian destination that we forget. oh, who can we cram in there rather then? who are my friends, who i really want there on that special day? and what kind of event can they actually afford to attend? >> see, that is such a good idea. and nick added, the planning process should start with the guest list and then go from there. it's like if you know the people you all love and want to be there, can't afford this stuff. why are you like saying hey? oh, by the way, $8,000. >> yeah, that's a little bit of a bait and switch. you know? hey, i'm a romantic, but i'm not a big fan of the destination wedding, you know, save that for your honeymoon. go the destination. it's a lot to ask people. not only the expense, but traveling to parts unknown, taking the time off and getting there. it's a little inconvenient. i think for a lot of people, it gets really expensive. >> also, to celebrate somebody else's wedding. i mean, un