paul dano, nick offerman and seth rogen.ck around. holy cannoli. look at this. it's like a science project. ordering lunch -- easy for you and me but can be so difficult for a young homeowner turning into their parents. are those all different lettuces? uh, yes, sir. brown rice, white rice, or quinoa? -[ groans ] -we're gonna need a minute. do you have any food allergies? -well, my teeth are sensitive to cold. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. that'll be $19.45. oh, i'm just paying for my own salad. when i was diagnosed with h-i-v, i didn't know who i would be. but here i am... being me. keep being you... and ask your healthcare provider about the number one prescribed h-i-v treatment, biktarvy. biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in many people whether you're 18 or 80. with one small pill, biktarvy fights h-i-v to help you get to undetectable—and stay there whether you're just starting or replacing your c

you can watch your fire and nick offerman at the same time. don't know who would want to do that, but probably, i. don't know. maybe a million people. hey, if that's what does it for you, america. god bless you. i'm old fashioned. i like my video fireplace. simple. it all started innocently enough. you know, just a few wides. very tasteful. reminds you of the season. my memories of my dad putting up lights in our house was miserable. you didn't want to be around him. this is what happens, michael. you have to wrap it around an old paper towel thing so that you don't. okay, so that's your job now. it's you have to use every part of your body when you're untangling christmas lights. you got to use your neck. you got to throw it over an arm. hang on. wait a minute. there was always that one house. on the neighborhood block that really did it up for christmas. and what started out as one. house starts to become. more houses and. more houses. i don't know where we made the turn to crazy town on christmas lights. it was somewhere around the time whe

they wanted me, nick offerman, and chris redd, who played all the figurines, to be there in person, improviseir ears and we thought they only heard us when they were rolling. but at the end of the day, tracee just goes, you know, we hear everything you are saying, right? we were having debates about drake albums. we were just, like, being so annoying while they were trying to work. they didn't tell us after the whole first day. >> charlamagne: the last season of "a black lady sketch show" aired this past spring. [cheers and applause] the fact that the show was even allowed to exist as a huge accomplishment. >> listen, you ain't lying. >> charlamagne: let alone the fact that you picked up a lot of awards for it. what sketch from the show are you most proud of? >> what am i most proud of? i think the court room kiki, the black lady court room! [laughter] yeah. i think that is one because it shows black sisterhood in a really fun way that i think we don't get to experience very often. people always tag me on social media when they have two black ladies at any one place and they are like, black l

tonight -- paul dano -- nick offerman -- and seth rogen. plus music from

and then for some reason you've got nick offerman as the president.s role from parks and recs. he was the libertarian character. i am super confused about the whole texas/california getting together. they have barbecue in common. it's like a civil war over taco trucks. i don't understand it. if it is a civil war over taco trucks i will take new york. new york will kick their ass. >> what do take? is this a reflection of the mental state of our country that we are all divided? >> of course. they want to suggest that by 2024 win hopefully we have a brand-new president in office, donald lump, david lump. this is the thing that will happen. but to your point i was imagining before i watch this trailer of them putting something together that seemed believable. but suddenly california and texas have teamed up together. that notion is completely out the window. but also california doesn't even want their residents to have guns. not the type of ally you want in a wartime scenario. i also thought to myself, and you may be saw something i didn't. i didn't see a

. >> there's one with nick offerman sitting by the fire. i don't know who would want to do that. can probably do that. probably a million people. >> if that is what does it for you, america, god bless you. i'm old fashioned. i like my video fireplace simple. >> it all started innocently enough. you know, just a few lights, very tasteful. reminds uthoff the season. >> my memories of my dad putting up lights in our house was miserable. you didn't want to be around him. >> this is what happens, michael. you have to wrap it around an old paper towel thing so that you don't -- that's your job now. >> you have to use every part of your body when you untangle christmas lights. you have to use a neck, throw it over an arm. >> wait a minute. >> there was always that one house on the neighborhood block that really did it up for christmas. what started out as one house starts to become more houses. more houses. >> i don't know where we made the turn to crazitown on christmas lights. >> it was somewhere around the time that they started having to inflatable san as the. >> frosty next to a ru

we just recorded ones with john mulaney and nick offerman this week. they'll be out soon. know, i've been saying every time i hold up this picture that i'm the cute one and my brother is the ugly one, and a lot of people don't like that joke. uh, but it's not a joke. he's the ugly one. [ laughter ] i have to say that, because i want you to know that there's a podcast where you can go for the truth. [ laughter ] well, you guys, yesterday the writers' guild voted to ratify a new contract with the studios, bringing an end to the five months long writers' strike. we've been back at work for a few days, but now it's official, and after a long summer of picketing and chanting, it makes sense that they're exhausted and writing jokes is hard work they have to write hundreds -- hundreds of jokes every day just to get the 10 or 12 we use in the monologue. and honestly, a lot of the jokes they write just aren't good. [ laughter ] sometimes i think they throw in a few stinkers on purpose just to fill the page and meet the assignment but just because we support labor movements, that do

rean and then for some reason, you've got nick offerman as then president, i think reprising his rolerom parks and rec. >> yeah. you knowk his rolem, he that lin character and then and then i'm super confusedtarian about e whole texas california gettingdv together because they have like barbecue in common. >> yeah that's really it's like it's like a civil war over taco trucks. trucks i don't understand it..i trd if idon't is a war over taco trucks, i'm going to take new york. new york's going to kickucew yor that ad through. >> what do you say, charlie? is this a reflection of oury tht our the mental state of our country that we're all blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? >> well, of course, they want to suggest that by 2024 when, you know, hopefully have a brand new president in office, donald trump, this is the kind of thing that's going to happen. you >> but i really you know, to your point, i was imagining before, i watc watchh this trailer of them putting something together that seemed very believable. but then someth you hearenly c that california and texas have teamed up together and

this week, just released today, the great nick offerman. [ cheers and applause so do check out "familyerever you get your podcasts moving on, we here at "late night" don't always have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with a recap is one of our writers, amber ruffin, in a segment we call "amber says what. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> hey you guys things have been crazy okay, first of all, i heard 80-year-old actor robert de niro just had a child and i was like, what then i heard 83-year-old al pacino also just had a child, and i was like, what?! what old man is going to have a toddler next seth [ laughter ] >> seth: i do have a toddler >> gross how? >> seth: the normal way. >> ewww! >> seth: why don't you have a child? >> because i am a child. a sexy little child. [ ding ] then i heard that they arrested tupac's killer and i was like, what -- is next on your to-do list, get a warrant for john wilkes booth? you're late! [ light laughter ] why not figure out who shot j.r. >> seth: oh, it was kristin shepard. >> you are so old. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i'm only five ye