so he tried to buy nimbutol on the internet. people took thousands of dollars from him and people sold him poison that was supposedly peaceful poison. i mean, he really was so desperate to end the pain. that's the most important thing is matthew was in such excruciating emotional and physical pane. he wanted the pane to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember fen years ago when he was 17, he came to me sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, it's really clear, i'm not going to get any better. we had gone to the best doctors the best hospitals, the best treatments, therapists, everything, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, it's real clear, i'm not going to get any better. so why can't i just die? he says, i know i'm going to heaven. he was not afraid to die. >> what did you say to him? >> well, in that situation, i said, matthew the reason why is there is a purpose. even in our pain and i am not willing to just give up and say the solution isn't there. you might give up,

he tried to buy nimbutol on the internet.eople took thousands of dollars to him and never gave it to him. people sold him poison that was supposedly peaceful poison. he really -- he was so desperate to end the pain. that's the most important thing is that matthew was in such excruciating emotional and physical pain. he just wanted the pain to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember 10 years ago, when he was 17, he came to me, sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, it's really clear, i'm not growing to get any better. we'd gone to the best doctors, hospitals, best treatments, therapists, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, it's real clear i'm not going to get any better so why can't i just die? i know i'm going to heaven, so why can't i -- he was not afraid to die. >> what did you say to him, rick? >> in that situation, i said, matthew, the reason why, there is a purpose even in our pain. i am not willing to just give up and say the solution isn't there. you might giv

he tried to buy nimbutol on the internet.ple took thousands of dollars from him and never gave it to him. people sold him poison that was supposedly peaceful poison. he really -- he was so desperate to end the pain. that's the most important thing is that matthew was in such excruciating emotional and physical pain. he just wanted the pain to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember 10 years ago, when he was 17, he came to me sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, it's really clear, i'm not going to get any better. we'd gone to the best doctors, hospitals, best treatments, therapists, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, it's real clear i'm not going to get any better so why can't i just die? i know i'm going to heaven, so why can't i -- he was not afraid to die. >> what did you say to him, rick? >> in that situation, i said, matthew, the reason why, there is a purpose even in our pain. i am not willing to just give up and say the solution isn't there. you might give u

so he tried to buy nimbutol on the internet.ple took thousands of dollars from him and people sold him poison that was supposedly peaceful poison. i mean, he really was so desperate to end the pain. that's the most important thing is matthew was in such excruciating emotional and physical pain. he just wanted the pain to stop. >> matthew was not afraid to die. he was afraid of pain. i remember ten years ago when he was 17, he came to me sobbing and he said, daddy, he said, it's really clear, i'm not going to get any better. we had gone to the best doctors the best hospitals, the best treatments, therapists, everything, prayer, everything you could imagine, good support and he says, it's real clear, i'm not going to get any better. so why can't i just die? he says, i know i'm going to heaven. he was not afraid to die. >> what did you say to him? >> well, in that situation, i said, matthew the reason why is there is a purpose. even in our pain and i am not willing to just give up and say the solution isn't there. you might give up