these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy! (crowd gasps) woman: and this weekend you get five dollars off just for trying them on! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.d everybody knows that. well, did you know pinocchio was a bad motivational speaker? i look around this room and i see nothing but untapped potential. you have potential. you have...oh boy. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. with new febreze allergen reducer. [ man ] wanna see some allergens? [ together ] ew! what is that thing? they could be all around you right now. [ gasps ] ♪ how would you deal with them? um... ninjas. [ male announcer ] no need for ninjas. reduce up to 95% of inanimate allergens becoming airborne from fabrics with new, dermatologist tested febreze allergen reducer. get fresher air and breathe happy. febreze allergen reduc... ...er. to "you are here."man, allergen reduc... "that life exists and identity." "that the powerful play goes on, and you may

these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy! larry: those jeans are only 19 dollars?! woman: and kids jeans are twelve dollars! connie: woaaaw! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! >> here to perform a song off her new album "st. vincent," later, st. vipsent. ( cheers and applause ). ♪ get back, to your seat get back, mashing teeth ♪ i won't bother your mind people turn the tv on, it looks ♪ just like a window people turn the tv on, it looks ♪ just like a window digital witnesses ♪ what's the point of even sleeping? ♪ if i can't show it, you can't see me ♪ what's the point of doing anything? ♪ this is no time for confessing i won't bother your mind ♪ people turn the tv on, it looks just like a window ♪ people turn the tv on, it looks just like a window ♪ people turn the tv on, it looks just like a window ♪ digital witnesses what's the point of even ♪ sleeping if i can't show it, you can't ♪ see me watch me jump right off the ♪ london bridge this is no time for confessing ♪ ♪ people turn the tv on and throw it out the window ♪ get

these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy!sps) larry: those jeans are only 19 dollars?! woman: and kids jeans are twelve dollars! connie: woaaaw! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! [cheers and applause] jorchg ladies and. >> jon: ladies and gentlemen, i'm so excited. it's time once again to check in on our neighbors to the south. no not -- [laughter] we're not doing a story on the 51st food market, not our literal neighbors to the south. they do have a terrific turkey sandwich. my point is this, thank you. mexico. [ laughter ] after more than a decade a brutal war with massive drug cartels has been a defining fact of life and last weekend a break. >> the capture of one of most wanted criminals on the planet who headed the most powerful drug operation in the world. mexican drug lord joaquin guzman known as el chapo has been captured ending a 13-year long manhunt. >> jon: el chapo got el popped-o. it translated to either a short stout person or corn porridge. [laughter] which kind of a weird name for a tough game. let me introd

these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy!: those jeans are only 19 dollars?! woman: and kids jeans are twelve dollars! connie: woaaaw! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! >> that's it for the report, everybody. good night! ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ [ humming ] here you go, kyle. and here's yours, stan. what is this, cartman? they're invitations to my birthday party this weekend.

these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy!d gasps) woman: and this weekend you get five dollars off just for trying them on! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! it's an invitation to stop and savor the unmistakable taste that reminds us that life is delicious. to help pay for her kids' ice time, -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -everywhere, every time... -close the front door! and 2% back at the grocery store, even before she got 3% back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you. ( cheers and applause ) welcome back, everybody. my guest tonight is a retired four-star general who served in operations desert storm, desert shield, enduring freedom, and iraqi freedom. if you have a problem with deserts or freedom, he's your man. please welcome general stanley mcchrystal. ( cheers and applause ) thanks for coming on. all right, sir,

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these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy! (crowd gasps) larry: those jeans are only 19 dollars?! woman: and kids jeans are twelve dollars! connie: woaaaw! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.d everybody knows that. well, did you know pinocchio was a bad motivational speaker? i look around this room and i see nothing but untapped potential. you have potential. you have...oh boy. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. all the natural energy found in peanuts? fifteen minutes could save you caramel works. payday. crunchy, roasted peanuts and soft, delicious caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. fill up and go. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org [charlie] i just... i can't believe you just bought, like, another ridiculous ugly car. you are lucky i am letting you into my [bleep] damn... oh, [bleep], okay, okay, here she comes, here she comes.

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these jeans are only nineteen bucks at old navy!e jeans are only 19 dollars?! woman: and kids jeans are twelve dollars! connie: woaaaw! (music starts) larry: connie wait!! one of the best things is that millions of peopleia will qualify for financial assistance. it's important to remember that the lower your annual income, the greater financial assistance you will receive. enroll now at coveredca.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a golden globe and academy award-winning actress who you know from such films as "legally blonde" and "walk the line." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to our show, reese witherspoon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: reese witherspoon! [ cheers and applause ] so happy you're here. we love you, we love you! >> woo! >> jimmy: first time on our show, but i saw you a couple of weeks ago. >> yes. we were at an event here in new york city. we were -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> -- at the american songbook gala at the lincoln center. >> jimmy: yeah, it was very nice. >> and we sat next to

fired into an egg in the nice people nice people who give them money from alana money from the nineteen bucks for my liking but tonight from the cops and they can become cheap and it's full of the fight for and not its not to demean and there i become a sinhalese to engage could be seen from rocks and i'm going to talk about the person who acts out the tv and then make a lot of time and talent of attention on their eyes. i remind you that you have always finding new base in ukraine. i mean on the ladder on some ability and a maniac and thundery ten days so if there is the thing in the dumps and unions can tell this country. nice and he carried on to our non human was in and out. so let's ask i need though but i'm i'm i'm in need of a decent amount. and as the other neighbors. outside of just a just russia but none the less known seen yet chic the up. in the past we've seen that to the russian government upped the ante at times the cutting for instance of natural gas up what you see is the next step the next reaction of moscow. but admit that in a house to the same questions we might call it i