number one is she obsessed with nipples and like to tell everyone you have two nipples and then the otherwo nipples, she said no, he wlauchbt. like, okay. i don't know where she got that from. other day trying -- i have a yuck. and it's hard to explain. trying to take her nipple off? didn't want it. want to the lose hers. i don't know. they're 2. mazing what comes into their minds. >> jimmy: in. >> friend: -- if only dr. seuss had written a book about nipples. >> great to read to the school children. and you'll be there. >> jimmy: does your daughter know that mom and dad are fred and daphne from "scooby-doo." >> i don't think mom and dad have seen that movie. i don't think so. no, she's not. would only care about "sesame street." i got snubbed backstage by miss piggy. i've been snubbed by famous people but nobody as famous as her. >> jimmy: she's hostile toward attractive women in general. >> makes sense. i tried. i was going to try to get an autograph or picture, she wasn't having it. >> jimmy: that's too bad. pig can spread swine flu, so you have to -- >> true. >> jimmy: when we come ba

that nipple teeth thing is really in there. i don't know how the look at a woman. [laughter] >> is it crazy, your mother-in-law and you read that book and you go what? you show your wife and go this is your mother! [laughter] craig: it comes handy in arguments, though. you didn't clean up the bathroom. oh, yeah, sorry, i had my nipples in somebody's teeth. >> my favorite part is when she plugged her publicist. craig: like that! changed like that. it is awesome that you were here, man. >> i love being here. i would just like to get rid of that robot and i'll just stand there. [laughter] [applause] i really don't want you to get rid of the robot. because i don't want to stand. [laughter] craig: good night, everybody. ♪ okay, so who ordered the cereal that can help lower cholesterol and who ordered the yummy cereal? yummy. that's yours. lower cholesterol. lower cholesterol. i'm yummy. lower cholesterol. i got that wrong didn't i? [ male announcer ] want great taste? honey nut cheerios. want whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol? honey nut cheerios. it's a w

geoff: boner, nipple. craig: nipple is a new word? geoff: yes, i have none. lesbian. craig: well, there's lesbian row right there. that's where they sit when they come here. honored guests. [applause] geoff: is that near skin rash, oklahoma? craig: no, no, no, well, it depends on the individual lesbian involved. i think skin rash -- i'll bet you there's a town in the united states called skin rash. geoff: yes. yes. craig: and i'll bet you that town has got a mayor. geoff: mayor scratch it. craig: and i bet you mayor scratch it from skin rash, oklahoma is going to get in touch with us. and he'll say why don't you bring the show to skin rash, oklahoma. and we'll go in a way, we've always been there. you've done a fantastic job. geoff: thank you very much. may i call you craig? craig: yeah, all right. say good night to the folks.,,,, howdy folks! jack box here, with my new outlaw burger. other places have bbq burgers, but not with the kick this one has- outlaw means it's loaded with hickory-smoked bacon, onion rings and topped with my bourbon barbecue sauce. and i'll tel

that nipple teeth thing is really in there. i don't know how the look at a woman. [laughter] >> is it crazy, your mother-in-law and you read that book and you go what? you show your wife and go this is your mother! [laughter] craig: it comes handy in arguments, though. you didn't clean up the bathroom. oh, yeah, sorry, i had my nipples in somebody's teeth. >> my favorite part is when she plugged her publicist. craig: like that! changed like that. it is awesome that you were here, man. >> i love being here. i would just like to get rid of that robot and i'll just stand there. [laughter] [applause] i really don't want you to get rid of the robot. because i don't want to stand. [laughter] craig: good night, everybody. . >>> breaking news. kidnapped nationals catcher ray ramos has been found in venezuela. >>> plus topper is tracking the weather. see the impact. >>> plus more breaking news. shots fired by the white house. we are live. >>> and we have two big breaking stories. national's catcher william ramos found alive. more on that in a minute. >>> but first a wild sh

geoff: boner, nipple. craig: nipple is a new word? geoff: yes, i have none. lesbian. craig: well, there's lesbian row right there. that's where they sit when they come here. honored guests. [applause] geoff: is that near skin rash, oklahoma? craig: no, no, no, well, it depends on the individual lesbian involved. i think skin rash -- i'll bet you there's a town in the united states called skin rash. geoff: yes. yes. craig: and i'll bet you that town has got a mayor. geoff: mayor scratch it. craig: and i bet you mayor scratch it from skin rash, oklahoma is going to get in touch with us. and he'll say why don't you bring the show to skin rash, oklahoma. and we'll go in a way, we've always been there. you've done a fantastic job. geoff: thank you very much. may i call you craig? craig: yeah, all right. say good night to the folks. . >>> after a weekend of violence, the occupy dc people show us new video that refutes the claims of police. >>> plus topper is tracking how long this sunny fall weather will last. >>> and an expert in political campaigns tells us why a new accu

who won over nipple sensitivity?ing about nipples everybody wins. >> yeah, i think that the slogan for the show from now on. [ laughter ] >> everybody wins. >> dana -- i hear you've been doing some theatrical work at the new school. what did you found? >> you you just ruined the joke. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> andrew, tell me about your new song, go, go, go. >> the song, go, go, go, go is a new song that i've written with the members of

in fact, if i catch someone bullying, i twist their nipple until it's swollen and purple as a plum, yank their shirt up over their head then shove them into the girls bathroom. because it's gotta stop. [ laughter ] but sometimes, well-meaning people go too far. case in point: 47 states have passed restrictive anti-bullying legislation. and these laws just replace the schoolyard bully with the bully of big government. thankfully, one state has found a way to act as a big brother to our kids without becoming big brother and it brings us to tonight's word: [cheers and applause] bully pulpit. the michigan senate just passed "matt's safe school law," named for teenager matt eppling, who tragically committed suicide in 2002 after being tormented by classmates for being gay. it requires every public school adopt and implement a policy prohibiting bullying by pupils at school. now, this sounds like a just and fitting tribute to an innocent victim. but gary glenn, president of the american family association of michigan, told "time" magazine what it really is "a trojan horse for the homosexual ag

what would have been the thrill and mystery thrilled her nippled body leaving a mockary of a voice. she carried him back to her cavern, still, there lives together was wanting and not only because in their condition they had trouble conceiving children. they became astranged though she longed to give him everything and he was eager to take it all. each sought the other through a different mirror. >> called : what happened happened. and finally. [laughter] a story called terminals. in the last moment of his life, time slowed and slowed to a halt. no longer pressed as he has been in youth he strolled the youth on foot and thought over every thought. love and war and stars he grabbed the meaning of it all as a whole. he yearned to share what he knew. though that lived on and might have learned moved to a future where his still voice would not be heard. thank you. [applause] >> hello. i'm going to read a scene from draining the sea coming out in march. it takes place in guatemala during the 80's. this is a scene from the polytechnic the tick cal school where they would take the disappea

the nipple cannot show, the genital area cannot show. other than that, they can have on lingerie, as long as it's not see-through. they can have on a bathing suit, bra and panties, as long as it's not see-through. you can't see anything down here or here. >> what about your friend? can they send pictures of them drinking beer and stuff like that? >> no. >> no pictures of beer in the photo? >> no, sir. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. i have never seen him before in my life. >>> coming up, jamie bell like you've never seen him before. >> just trying to get ready to go home soon i hope. >>> as warden of holman, grantt culliver is always looking for ways to use the prison environment to his advantage. >> what do you do -- >> lettuce. >> there's no lettuce in alabama. what kind of lettuce? >> lettuce like that. >> japanese lettuce? never heard of it. can't grow no damn lettuce in alabama. i tried it. >> you can't grow lettuce? grow collard green. i don't see it, that's what i tell you. i ain't jesus christ. look what i told you. >> warden cu

. >> whose idea was it for nancy's nipple to come out. >> that didn't happen. >> that didn't happen? the beauty of the dance. i'll sackf i a lot for my art. >> a lot, indeed. as for the semifinal lineup, it is j.r. martinez who received perfect scores on monday night. also, reality star, rob kardashian. tv personality, ricki lake and soccer star, hope solo. congrats to the final four. >>> compelling details emerging over the hacking scandal that brought down the british tabloid, "news of the world." >> a private investigator who worked for the paper said prince william and his brother, harry, were among the targets. private eye derek webb said he spied on women five years ago when he was staying at prince charles' country home. >> the paper's parent company has not responded to the latest allegations. and there's no comment, either, from the royal family. i can imagine that would not sit too well with the british. not -- not very good at all. >>> we mentioned the occupy wall street protests earlier. here's proof, there's some fondness between protesters and police. >> check out frenc

her nipples were always pointed up. those thoughts to be anywhere in my mind when i'm in the middle of the scene. i don't want to be thinking point your nipples up. >> reporter: you just want to do that naturally. >> right. who doesn't? >> reporter: i hear you. completely. at 31 williams is the same age marilyn was in the movie. while marilyn was raised an orphan in california, williams grew up in montana. and started acting professionally at a child. >> oh, yeah, you're the boy that.... >> reporter: at 15 she legally emancipated herself from her parents so she could work full time. >> emancipation means you divorce your parents. you prove yourself emotionally and financially independent. you have to live on your own. >> reporter: why did you do that? >> because i didn't know anything about anything. just in the immediate sense it sounded like a great idea. but i think most 15-year-olds would relish the idea to live with no one looking over their shoulder. >> reporter: was there trouble at home? was that part of the rea

could lead to an early termination of the experiment we tried to consider all potential risks and to nipple tensions in the bad times not the scientists behind it wanted to see if the six man crew would be able to go all that time without severe psychological effects from the busy control room i was able to ask one of them for myself how are your relationships with the other crew members changed at the beginning i was. not hoping i was maybe waiting for something like that to happen you know like fight or something close clark or for such a long time it works you know it must not nothing in the world. would never happen we have been a very. quiet sixty from the beginning. the experiment was kept as real as possible with a twenty minute time delay in communications holmes the ship was on its way that meant the team was alone they could talk freely with loved ones but researchers decided to withhold bad news from the outside world but that was tricky. we had to keep in mind that some information could come in with private correspondence some relatives could break the news in this case any pro

usually a set of treatment options for breast cancer, but doctors say they are having success with a nipple-saving surgery. it is more like laparoscopic surgery. the fear for some doctors is that they are afraid of leaving some cancerous tissue behind, but new procedures are having good results. >> you can come out the other hand being okay physically. >> doctors looked at 162 such surgeries performed since 1989 and found no cancer recurrence in the left breast tissue in any of them. research has proven an artificial heart valve can be implanted without a invasive surgery. that is encouraging for patients who are too old or too sick to undergo a valve replacement procedure. it is threaded through the leg to the heart through a major artery and does not require open heart surgery. this will help thousands of people turned away each year because they are too frail for the operation. >> and now, your 11 insta- weather plus forecast with chief meteorologist tom tasselmyer. >> a lot of sunshine today, little cloud cover coming in. temperatures are not too bad for early november. change is coming our wa

i told him to show more nipple.be here tonight to apologize -- [ applause ] to me and hopefully to reimburse me. rob kardashian is still in the competition. as most everyone knows, sadly his sister kim yesterday announced that she was filing for divorce after 72 days of marriage. rob was asked about the divorce after the dancing last night and here's what he had to say. >> my sister and i and everybody are going through a lot right now and we are all is supportiv and we're just a close family and we keep everything private. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well -- everything? because it seems like not everything. maybe -- maybe a thing? but i think we've even seen the thing. [ laughter ] you know, we have a tradition here at the show. we do -- it's something we do every year involved my cousin sal. my cousin sal sets up a hidden camera at his house and he'll have trick or treaters come and then he'll kind of screw with them. again, we've done this year, we -- and it is always a big hit. we did it last night and, well, here's

. >> jimmy: whose idea was it for unanimous sip's nipple to come out -- >> that did not happen. >> jimmy> jimmy: that didn't happen? >> mystery of the dance, that one. >> beauty of the dance. i sacrificed a lot nor my art. >> jimmy: you knocked janet jackson right off the map. >> he was just saying that afternoon how are we going to stay in? how are we going to stay in? >> i'm on it. >> jimmy: how are the twins? and of course i'm referring to my children. >> now that you mention it. >> jimmy: well, there they are. we have video from last night. judge len was being a bit harsh. >> nancy, yours is the cinderella story. you've come to the ball and you've lasted for eight weeks which, i commend you for. however, for me, it's midnight and it's time to go home. >> thank you, john david. >> jimmy: the kids, of course, understand the cinderella reference so they know what's going on. were they upset? >> they don't understand. they don't know. they don't know about anything bad. >> jimmy: really? >> no. >> jimmy: nothing bad? >> they don't even watch my hln show. >> jimmy: they don't? >> i watch

and applause ] ♪ thank you, hanger bumps on my sweaters -- [ laughter ] -- for giving me shoulder nipples do it. ♪ thank you, the jolly green giant, for being the hulk's vegetarian cousin. [ laughter and applause ] ho, ho, ho. little green frog. [ light laughter ] he didn't really take off, that character. the little green frog? >> steve: no. that did not, no. >> jimmy: no. how much money of yours did you invest in that? >> steve: uh, i think it was only, like, $14 million. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so sorry -- so sorry to hear that. >> steve: everything i had. sold my houses. all 50 of them. >> jimmy: why did you, at one point, own 50 houses? >> steve: well, you know what? >> jimmy: these aren't real because it's a game of monopoly. >> steve: yeah, it was a game of monopoly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you had 50 houses. >> steve: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you sold them. >> steve: sold them. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: for a bunch of fake money. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: and then you invested that money. >> steve: i talked to the people at bbdo and said, "why don't you come up with a ch

you can see half a nipple in pg-13. all this stuff. very specific details.n, you -- they kept telling you not to move. almost like, they almost wanted to have a kind of leash on the back of you so you couldn't thrust. you could only -- just the tip or -- >> jimmy: what -- >> i mean -- >> jimmy: there's mom and dad. >> that doesn't mean anything. it's a figure of speech. >> jimmy: he meant a gratuity. and there's a lot of pressure on that because the fans of the books, especially, they -- this is a huge moment, the honeymoon and then the baby comes. >> they want to see thrusting. [ cheers and applause ] they want to see thrusting, not probing. >> jimmy: and the baby in the movie, the baby has already been named "people" magazine's sexiest baby alive. >> is that actually true? >> jimmy: no, give the baby three months. how old is the baby that -- this is a real baby, right? >> yeah, well, we had a bunch. >> jimmy: really? >> got them from everywhere. the main baby, when it first comes out, is like -- we had them, three, four weeks old. they were genuine babies.

[ laughter ] they're like earth's nipples." [ laughter ] listen to this.uys, a man in florida was busted for stealing a cardboard cutout of justin bieber from a record store. yup, and he's facing a pretty severe punishment. his friends finding that out. [ laughter ] he's worried. he's worried. [ scattered applause ] get this, several counties in oregon are letting people vote on ipads, to make it easier for the elderly. [ laughter ] which explains their new state motto -- oregon, "we know nothing about old people." [ laughter ] what the -- i just voted for an angry bird. i don't know what -- [ cheers and applause ] why would you do that? check this out, you guys. more than 43,000 people signed a petition to keep nickelback from performing at the detroit lions game on thanksgiving. [ cheers ] the worst part is three of those signatures are from actual members of nickelback. [ laughter ] they don't want to play. >> steve: they don't want to be there. >> jimmy: they've got better things to do. i like nickelback. [ light laughter ] what do they sing again? hey

i'm going to put on my tightest shorts, throw some vasoline on my nipples and go -- and go -- and go movie. [ laughter ] and just go -- and just go just check something out. i don't know what i'm going to do. >> steve: "puss in boots." you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: some tech news. there's a new iphone app that lets users pay for things by saying their own name out loud. finally answering the question, "how can buying condoms get even more uncomfortable?" uh -- [ laughter ] "steve higgins." [ laughter ] check this out, you guys. this week, cnn launched a spanish version of its website. it's called "yes nn." [ laughter ] si? >> steve: si. >> jimmy: si. >> steve: n-n. >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. aw, shucks. >> jimmy: this is interesting, you guys. china just launched a program to prevent divorce by having newlyweds write love letters to each other which get delivered seven years after their wedding day. yeah. cute. and just to make sure that it takes seven years to get there, they're using the u.s. postal service. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve

when the nipple comes out. it's the same thing with a sex scandal. scandals, sexual harassment, affairs, sex outside marriage, sending pictures of yourself on social media. the pure yens of it is a driver and having iconic detail that we had in clarence thomas case, we had in bill clinton. we had with anthony wiener that's absent now and is keeping a lid on it. i want to thank my guests today. michelle goldberg, author of reproduction, sex power and the future of the world. i commend to you. michael brendan doherty who is doing a top job at insider.com. thank you all. thank you at home for joining us. we'll be back next saturday at 7:00 a.m. eastern time. my guests include msnbc's own martin bashir. and new york attorney generic schneiderman. set your dvr's now. i mean it. in the meantime, you can find us on facebook. up next is alex witt. we'll see you next week here on "up." [ male announcer ] do you know how you will react when someone changes lanes without warning? or when you're distracted? when you're falling asleep at the wheel? do you know ho