i feel that m noal, and that's the first timei've fl and that i wasn'azy and i wasn't insane in 28 ars, and it's aood feelin i've been give good coping sklsfreed. and undersnd the dynams of what's going on undernth the surface, and we've learned a lot of lower-lel information about our childhood. in particular, i've gotten in touch wi some things in my past that expin this. it's not a mystery anymore. i thk understand, to a large degree, what's happening, and that's 4 of the battle, is knowing what's ppening, being able to derstandt. didn't know as much about it that i do now, and now i know i'm not goincrazy. i know i'm not gng to and i can. i told somebody that i was trying cat-- trying to go-- catch up on a lifetime in two weeks. it sort of seems that way. it's just weird. cit's lika trsactionme from child to ult. before, it seemed like it was-- i was depending on others, and now i'm depending on myself. m not one. i'm with me. i don't know how to explain that. the fure? it looks goo it's going to be good. it can't get any worse. i know that because those days were the darkest days