gifted to make captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by >> stephen: tonight, the obama adminstration launches a new science initative. we already have the potato clock, what more is there to know? [laughter] and my guest, nih director, dr. francis collins, is trying to map the human brain. thank god. i get lost up there all the time. [laughter] the queen of england got a $7.5 million raise. it was that or lose her to the miami heat. [laughter] this is "the colbert report!" ["the colbert report" theme music playing] [crowd chanting "stephen!"] [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. i appreciate it. [cheers and applause] thank you. [cheers and applause] thank you, ladies and gentlemen. ladies and gentlemen, i want to thank you. that say warm n welcome, the kind we would give any visitor from buffalo. [ laughter ] who wanted to come down here. we don't bite much. [ laughter ] nation, there are reasons for some people to be afraid and some people to if you arous and i'm on