can you tell me what ocd was like when it was at its worst?ight be worried that i'm going to do something really bad like i'm going to accidentally kill you. it's like, it starts to develop into oh, my gosh, i thought i was... i had the thought that i was worried i was going to kill you, so then surely that means i want to act upon that. and did you have that thought about me? yeah. i felt i was such a bad person for having that thought, that to punish myself i stayed in bed and wouldn't let myself move. just try one step this time. my wife and i were very worried about reuben. but we found it hard to show medical staffjust how bad things were, so we decided to video him in the midst of an episode. just try one step at a time, 0k? yeah. just try each step. on this occasion, he wouldn't allow himself to walk upstairs and was self—harming. come on, i'll walk up with you. let's walk up together. you're really hitting yourself aren't you? this happened every day. in this video, you can also see the cuts on the back of his neck where he was pinchin