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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. it. [old spice whistle] we've been compromised!. don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guy's i'm back! new snack bites from... ♪hot pockets >> jon: hi, everybody! welcome back! we have been down this road a few times this year. each time it's not easy. tonight marks the end of an era, the longest serving member, samantha bee. it started in 2003. the bush presidency was entering terrible twos. we need a correspondent, we looked in your liquor stores, betting parlors, methadone clinics, google was in it's baby stages and we ended up in canada. (laughter) we found this delightful, incredibly funny, person. we put her in the trunk and raced back over the border. canada had no idea what it was losing. >> have you had a hot karl? no, i haven't gotten to do everything yet. >> it's a totally different group of people. >> what state could you beat up? ours. i don't think that counts. oh, so sorry. ther s
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. it. [old spice whistle] we've been compromised!. don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guy's i'm back! new snack bites from... ♪hot pockets >> jon: hi, everybody! welcome back! we have been down this road a few times this year. each time it's not easy. tonight marks the end of an era, the longest...
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Aug 18, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ve! stop it. [old spice whistle] ♪ digiorno? or delivery? taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, fresh-baked pizza, is your oven. thankfully, it's not delivery. it's digiorno. (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. when i think of amazon, i think of a magical website where i can buy toothbrush heads and "2 fast 2 furious" on dvd and a beatles-themed comforter and sheet set and have it all delivered right to my door. but for amazon employees, their work culture is not so convenient. >> a scathing piece about amazon and the twist reaction this morning from the company's ceo. over the weekend, "the times" exposed what it called a bruising workplace, one with a back-stabbing, sometimes abusive culture that left some employees in tears. [ audience boos ] >> larry: what the [ bleep ], amazon? (laughter) i expect to hear about this kind of behavior from bangladesh or shenzhen, but in seattle? (laughter) look, i'm a prime member. i love my free two-day
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ve! stop it. [old spice whistle] ♪ digiorno? or delivery? taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, fresh-baked pizza, is your oven. thankfully, it's not delivery. it's digiorno. (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. when i think of amazon, i think of a magical website where i can buy toothbrush heads and "2 fast 2 furious" on dvd and a...
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Aug 24, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. bear glove! stop it. [old spice whistle] to come out of its shell.. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. almond joy mounds. what every coconut wants. pwho thrives on the unexpected. andha-ha! box shall we dine? [ chuckle ] you wouldn't expect an insurance company to show you their rates and their competitors' rates, but that's precisely what we do. going up! nope, coming down. and if you switch to progressive today, you could save an average of over 500 bucks. stop it. so call me today at the number below. or is it above? dismount! oh, and he sticks the landing! but if you had to pick your favorite, -which would you say it was? -oh, i can't do that. -if i forced you to pick one. -but that's like asking a parent to pick between their favorite children. if you had to had to had to. had to had to absolutely had to pick? -i'm forcing you. -chicago dog. -okay. boom. there you go. -yeah? -see? -because it doesn't
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. bear glove! stop it. [old spice whistle] to come out of its shell.. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. almond joy mounds. what every coconut wants. pwho thrives on the unexpected. andha-ha! box shall we dine? [ chuckle ] you wouldn't expect an insurance company to show you their rates and their competitors' rates,...
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Aug 21, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. it. [old spice whistle] every coconut has a dream. to come out of its shell. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. almond joy mounds. what every coconut wants. [cheers and applause] >> "the new york times," called the gray lady, paper of record, gold standard of american print journalism. ol' timesy. as we head into the 2016 presidential election, no one is asking harder questions of the candidates. hillary clinton's email scandal. jeb bush's possible fundraising violations. and now they've set their sights on one of the hottest, fastest-rising politicians in the race. this is going to be devastating. >> "the new york times" ran a story about senator marco rubio and his traffic tickets. >> the couple has amassed 17 citations, 13 in all given to janet rubio. oh! >> marco rubio got four tickets in 17 years. i assume "the new york times" obtained this damning information from marco rubio's plaque in the hall o
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. it. [old spice whistle] every coconut has a dream. to come out of its shell. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. almond joy mounds. what every coconut wants. [cheers and applause] >> "the new york times," called the gray lady, paper of record, gold standard of american print journalism. ol' timesy. as...
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Aug 19, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. love! stop it. [old spice whistle] somei'm here to help 'embway dothink differently.flavor. you know that sandwich you always get? i can make it even better. you ever try this toasted with monterrey cheddar? you know what, why not. ok how about we spice this up a little bit? that sounds amazing. let's rock this sandwich together. subway. eat fresh. everyday, millions of amazing photos and videos are shot with iphone. ♪ that's because the iphone makes it easy for everyone to shoot amazing photos and video. ♪ if it's not an iphone, it's not an iphone. ♪ we've been compromised!. don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guy's i'm back! new snack bites from... ♪hot pockets ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] they'll see you before you see them. cops are cracking down on drinking and driving. drive sober, or get pulled over. (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. "nightly show" contrib
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. love! stop it. [old spice whistle] somei'm here to help 'embway dothink differently.flavor. you know that sandwich you always get? i can make it even better. you ever try this toasted with monterrey cheddar? you know what, why not. ok how about we spice this up a little bit? that sounds amazing. let's rock this sandwich together. subway. eat fresh. everyday, millions of amazing photos and videos...
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Aug 19, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ice whistle] (cheers and applause) welcome back! my guest tonight, a guy called "ant-man"! >> look, this is going to get weird. it's freaky but safe. no reason to be scared. >> oh, no, i don't get scared. really? good. that's witchcraft. >> that's amazing. that's david copperfield stuff. that's wizardly. >> how did you do that, bro! don't freak out. look at your shoulder. >> what! i thought you didn't get scared! >> jon: ladies and gentlemen, paul rudd! (cheers and applause) >> jon: we'll do this together. >> together. (laughter) >> jon: here's what i'm going to miss, so 12 shows, people say, what are you going to miss? one thing, paul rudd's effortless sensuality. (cheering) you are your own perfume. eau de rudd. >> oh, that is so nice. you know what i'm going to miss? >> jon: no. everything. >> jon: what! like, all of these people. >> jon: aw! it is everything. >> jon: everything. it is always a grind, you have to promote, you do all these shows, and they're fun by, every time, jon,
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ice whistle] (cheers and applause) welcome back! my guest tonight, a guy called "ant-man"! >> look, this is going to get weird. it's freaky but safe. no reason to be scared. >> oh, no, i don't get scared. really? good. that's witchcraft. >> that's amazing. that's david copperfield stuff. that's wizardly. >> how did you do that, bro! don't freak out. look at your...
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Aug 18, 2015
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. old spice whistle] peter hit me in the nose with a football. marcia, what happened? now sweetheart... shut up! marcia, eat a snickers®. why? you get a little hostile when you're hungry. better? better. marcia, marcia, marcia... ( cheers and applause ). >> jon: we're going to check in real quick with our good friend larry wilmore on the "the nightly show." last night, i'm sorry we didn't get to do it, i was announcing final date, august 6. >> yi am pumped, yes! >> jon: that i am leaving. >> no, jon, i was talking about the pretear of "top chefs duels." >> jon: can you tivo that, that night. because we're having a party. >> sorry, jon, i'm having a party that night, too, for the top chefs duel premiere. you're whole staff is coming. >> jon: i thought they were going to come to my party. >> i'm just messing with you, man! i'm messing with you. i'll be there. the food better not suck, all right. >> jon: no, it won't. thanks, larry. larry wilmore, everybody. that is our show. here it is you
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. old spice whistle] peter hit me in the nose with a football. marcia, what happened? now sweetheart... shut up! marcia, eat a snickers®. why? you get a little hostile when you're hungry. better? better. marcia, marcia, marcia... ( cheers and applause ). >> jon: we're going to check in real quick with our good friend larry wilmore on the "the nightly show." last night, i'm sorry we...
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ! stop it. [old spice whistle] pwho thrives on the unexpected. andha-ha! box shall we dine? [ chuckle ] you wouldn't expect an insurance company to show you their rates and their competitors' rates, but that's precisely what we do. going up! nope, coming down. and if you switch to progressive today, you could save an average of over 500 bucks. stop it. so call me today at the number below. or is it above? dismount! oh, and he sticks the landing! fantastic four-cheese omelette is packed with crispy bacon and fresh veggies. (explosion) check please! introducing the fantastic four-cheese omelette. denny's. welcome to amercia's diner. fantastic 4, only in theaters. we've been compromised!. don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guy's i'm back! new snack bites from... ♪hot pockets somesubway doesn'tink have enough flavor. i'm here to help 'em think differently. so what are you having today? you know th
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ! stop it. [old spice whistle] pwho thrives on the unexpected. andha-ha! box shall we dine? [ chuckle ] you wouldn't expect an insurance company to show you their rates and their competitors' rates, but that's precisely what we do. going up! nope, coming down. and if you switch to progressive today, you could save an average of over 500 bucks. stop it. so call me today at the number below. or is...
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ar glove! stop it. [old spice whistle] ♪ okayit's chewy.his? really icy. wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint! it's disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. ...is as easy as it gets. wouldn't it be great if hiring plumbers, carpenters and even piano tuners... were just as simple? thanks to angie's list, now it is. start shopping online... ...from a list of top rated providers. visit angieslist.com today. are=2 >> jon: welcome back. [crowd cheering] in the current version of our war in the middle east, there are a few things that we know. one, isis represents an existential threat to our nation. two, the massive threat requires no sacrifices on anybody's part because three we can take care of the problem with our strikes and trustee allies. one little snag. the iraqi army has collapsed. there is no real iraqi army. that's weird. i remember the united states spe
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. ar glove! stop it. [old spice whistle] ♪ okayit's chewy.his? really icy. wooh. that's intense! it just hits you. its gum. no. it's totally a mint! it's disappearing as i am chewing it. where did it go? it's not a gum. not a mint. it's a totally new cool. new ice breakers cool blasts. ...is as easy as it gets. wouldn't it be great if hiring plumbers, carpenters and even piano tuners... were just...
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then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. love! stop it. [old spice whistle] they put everything in here. so, what made you switch to taco bell's a.m. crunchwrap? there's like eggs, cheese, bacon. a hashbrown in the a.m. crunchwrap. that looks really good right now. i'm anita. i'm lonita. and i am a breakfast defector. [bong] to concerts of your choice! tickets every hour cool! alright! but only with pepsi. ♪ you still got the polar bear. pop open music every hour with pepsi! (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. "nightly show" contributor mike yard. (cheers and applause) you can catch him this weekend at the florida theater in jacksonville, comedian lil duval. (cheers and applause) and she's an assistant professor at fordham university, christina greer. (cheers and applause) we've been talking about hillary's meeting last week with black lives matter. so i want to ask you, as just the regular people out there in the world, do you think black lives matter is getting through? >> i think so. becau
then try old spice swagger. bear glove! [repeatedly] i apologize. he means bear glove! no i don't. love! stop it. [old spice whistle] they put everything in here. so, what made you switch to taco bell's a.m. crunchwrap? there's like eggs, cheese, bacon. a hashbrown in the a.m. crunchwrap. that looks really good right now. i'm anita. i'm lonita. and i am a breakfast defector. [bong] to concerts of your choice! tickets every hour cool! alright! but only with pepsi. ♪ you still got the polar...