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Sep 19, 2024
09/24
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. ♪ lalalalala ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.se shave with a single edge stainless steel blade? [man sniffs] yup. we're still smoking that bacon. new mr. clean ultra foamy magic eraser? it's more magic than ever. with the scrubbing power of magic eraser and the cleaning power of dawn. watch it make soap scum here... disappear... and watch how sprays can leave grime like that with up to 10 times the cleaning power, foamy melts it on contact. magic. it makes this ring a thing of the past. it makes you forgetti about baked on spaghetti. new ultra foamy magic eraser. clean thank you.magic thank you for trusting us with your secret recipes and shared moments. thank you for bringing us into your homes and into your hearts for nearly 150 years. thank you for making quaker a part of your family. (♪♪) hey lexus, show alternate routes. technology that's ready for the road ahead. the lexus nx. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome back to "the daily show." my guess tonight is an actor who stars in new broadway play "yellow face." these we
. ♪ lalalalala ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.se shave with a single edge stainless steel blade? [man sniffs] yup. we're still smoking that bacon. new mr. clean ultra foamy magic eraser? it's more magic than ever. with the scrubbing power of magic eraser and the cleaning power of dawn. watch it make soap scum here... disappear... and watch how sprays can leave grime like that with up to 10 times the cleaning power, foamy melts it on contact. magic. it...
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Sep 19, 2024
09/24
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[cheers and applause] at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.ltra close shave with a single edge stainless steel blade? [man sniffs] yup. we're still smoking that bacon. pete g. writes, "my tween wants a new phone. how do i not break the bank?" we gotcha, pete. xfinity mobile was designed to save you money and gives you access to wifi speeds up to a gig. so you get high speeds for low prices. better than getting low speeds for high prices. right, bruce? -jealous? yeah, look at that. -honestly. someone get a helmet on this guy. xfinity internet customers, ask how to get a free 5g phone and a second unlimited line free for a year. switch today! —ooh, a timeout. —incoming dishes! —ahhh! —duck! with dawn powerwash, he can fly through 99% of grease and grime in half the time. oh, my-gration. look at him go! yeah, dawn powerwash is unique. it absorbs grease with three cleaning boosters, removing it five times faster. ooh, for beak's sake, that was fast. and powerwash can replace multiple cleaning products. —wooh, fumble recovery! —ooh, those suds got
[cheers and applause] at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.ltra close shave with a single edge stainless steel blade? [man sniffs] yup. we're still smoking that bacon. pete g. writes, "my tween wants a new phone. how do i not break the bank?" we gotcha, pete. xfinity mobile was designed to save you money and gives you access to wifi speeds up to a gig. so you get high speeds for low prices. better than getting low speeds for high prices. right, bruce?...
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Sep 20, 2024
09/24
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at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. introducing glimmiér gloss.t bacon. dove men gives you healthier smoother-feeling skin... to celebrate life's intense moments. use dove men bodywash with its 24-hour nourishing micromoisture enjoy healthier smoother-feeling skin all day with dove men body wash. >> ronny: that's our show for tonight! here it is, your moment of zen. >> cackling kamala? kamala, what are you going to do about inflation? i was born to a middle-class family and wheat -- and my mother used to go to the grocery store. ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ isn't it absolutely bonkers that you can walk into a store... ...hand someone a piece of plastic... ...and they will will
at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. introducing glimmiér gloss.t bacon. dove men gives you healthier smoother-feeling skin... to celebrate life's intense moments. use dove men bodywash with its 24-hour nourishing micromoisture enjoy healthier smoother-feeling skin all day with dove men body wash. >> ronny: that's our show for tonight! here it is, your moment of zen. >> cackling kamala? kamala, what are you going to do about inflation? i was born to...
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Sep 20, 2024
09/24
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(thinking) ♪♪ ♪♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. still smoking that bacon. we've never spoken. but you've told us many things. that you love stargazing, hate parallel parking, and occasionally, your right foot gets a little heavy. the lexus es didn't begin in a studio — it began with you. ♪♪ >> ronny: that's our show for tonight! here it is, your moment of zen. >> cackling kamala? kamala, what are you going to do about inflation? i was born to a middle-class family and wheat -- and my mother used to go to the grocery store. ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ where's dad? it's office birthdays today at the brewery. ever since your father was put in charge, he's been taking it very seriously. okay, brian, what do you got for me? okay, birthday jokes. "
(thinking) ♪♪ ♪♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. still smoking that bacon. we've never spoken. but you've told us many things. that you love stargazing, hate parallel parking, and occasionally, your right foot gets a little heavy. the lexus es didn't begin in a studio — it began with you. ♪♪ >> ronny: that's our show for tonight! here it is, your moment of zen. >> cackling kamala? kamala, what are you going to do about inflation? i...
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Sep 25, 2024
09/24
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COM
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. ♪ lalalalala ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.a perfect - yup. [camera clicks] we're still smoking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." one week from tonight will be the first vice presidential debate. so let's get to know one of the two men who'll be on that stage, in another installment of "the daily showography." ♪ ♪ >> boy, that tim walz fella sure seems nice. a little too nice. >> tim walz's job is to be the jack kevorkian for america. his job is to be the assistant suicide doctor period to lean over, charmingly, by the bedside of america, and to give it a fatal injection. >> close your eyes, america. it will all be over soon. this is the "daily showography" of tim walz. rabidly nice. sponsored by trump vance and project 2025. timothy james walz had a dangerously folksy upbringing. >> i counted 400 people, had 24 kids in my class, 12 were cousins -- >> he developed a taste for blood from his father and grandfather who owned a meat locker. [screaming] and was indoctrinated into communism
. ♪ lalalalala ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.a perfect - yup. [camera clicks] we're still smoking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." one week from tonight will be the first vice presidential debate. so let's get to know one of the two men who'll be on that stage, in another installment of "the daily showography." ♪ ♪ >> boy, that tim walz fella sure seems nice. a little too...
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Sep 18, 2024
09/24
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. ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.ct - yup. [camera clicks] we're still smoking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: hey, welcome back to "the daily show." my guess tonight is the former head of the secretive pentagon unit that studied ufos. he's written a best-selling book, "imminent: inside the pentagon's hunt for ufos." please welcome luis elizondo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay, so, you know, thanks for coming on the show. >> think of her having me, my honor and privilege. >> ronny: it's really nice to take a break talking about divisive american politics to talk about what is going on, there's aliens? >> first of all, we don't call them aliens anymore, that's kind of a politically incorrect term. a-determiner. >> ronny: fee aliens are woke. >> we now call them nonhuman intelligence. >> ronny: you are a military man, veteran, intelligence officer, counter intelligence officer a grown adult. by your own words you are also a fact-based person. you said that in interviews. to go but i'm also proof you don't ha
. ♪ at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar.ct - yup. [camera clicks] we're still smoking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: hey, welcome back to "the daily show." my guess tonight is the former head of the secretive pentagon unit that studied ufos. he's written a best-selling book, "imminent: inside the pentagon's hunt for ufos." please welcome luis elizondo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay, so, you know, thanks for coming on...
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Sep 4, 2024
09/24
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okay to change her mind later when the case comes up from the oscar mayer corporation?es yes and sometimes no. infuriating. >> justice brown jackson: a little complicated. >> stephen: it can be difficult to feel that the court is impartial at times, even given all your assurances. because of rulings like trump versus the u.s. which was the recent case they gave broad immunity to the president and all official acts and limited immunity in these marginal acts or however it's described in the legalese of court ruling. you wrote that majority's decision is "a five-alarm fire." from your position, what is on fire in that ruling? >> justice brown jackson: well, it's a little complicated. i dissented and i disagree with the majority's view because it was my position that we have a justice system, what i call the individual accountability model, that allows for all criminal defendants to be subject to the law and to raise defenses if they are necessary in a particular case. and i viewed the majority as creating a different model for presidents and i was concerning a justice sot
okay to change her mind later when the case comes up from the oscar mayer corporation?es yes and sometimes no. infuriating. >> justice brown jackson: a little complicated. >> stephen: it can be difficult to feel that the court is impartial at times, even given all your assurances. because of rulings like trump versus the u.s. which was the recent case they gave broad immunity to the president and all official acts and limited immunity in these marginal acts or however it's described...
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Sep 24, 2024
09/24
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at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. introducing glimmiér gloss.moking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show for tonight! before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, ms. desi lydic! desi! [cheers and applause] what are you going to bring to the people this week? >> so many scandals: there's rfk jr., matt gaetz, mark robinson. which reminds me, jon, i need to look through your phone. hand it over. yep. >> jon: why would you need to look? >> we've got to make sure there's no scandals brewing here. who knows which nude continent porn site you've been commenting on. phone, now! come on. >> jon: i don't have anything to hide. jesus, how big is your font, jon? my god. okay, selfie, selfie, selfie. oh, my god. jon stewart! is this real? you postmate an entire fudgie the whale cake every morning? ugh, disgusting. disgusting. >> jon: i was hacked. i was doing research. >> oh, by god? what is this! >> jon: desi lydic, everyone! now here it is, your "moment of zen." speak with a problem with another debate is that
at oscar mayer, we smoke our bacon for 12 long hours. keep it oscar. introducing glimmiér gloss.moking that bacon. [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's our show for tonight! before we go, let's check in with your host for the rest of the week, ms. desi lydic! desi! [cheers and applause] what are you going to bring to the people this week? >> so many scandals: there's rfk jr., matt gaetz, mark robinson. which reminds me, jon, i need to look through your phone. hand it over. yep....