ow! my eye! ow! ow! ow! to be the life of the party like lenny here just place your order for this hilarious novelty item. homer, get out of here. boy, moe, you sure look angry. here, have some nuts. hey, thanks. ow! god, my eye! get it out! geez! ow! ow! don't pull! don't pull! i said don't pull. don't. now we're pulling into port. ( gasps ) and who's waiting for us at the dock? why, it's all your childhood dogs. i see petey and blackie and schnoodle and... oh, no! pirates! pirates? ahoy, mateys, it's me long bart silver and i'm going to rip you a new i.v. hole. ( frightened gasps ) bart, what are you doing? i'm just trying to liven things up around here. these people need to ride motorcycles and play rockin' electric guitars like the old people on tv. excuse me, but when those pirates boarded i swallowed my wedding ring for safekeeping. get me some ipecac. i'd like to expunge it. okay, she's gone-- let's break out of here and have fun. ( all mumbling ) but if i get up, somebody'll take my chair. got that r

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow on. and unemployment is rising but how is this possible when the dutch current account is positive the government deficit is smaller and exports are doing well something does not add up we need to bring in stacy herbert say see what the frick is going on over there the netherlands well max remember at the beginning of this financial crisis when it was an economic crisis across europe and we.

if you owe more than your current vehicle is worth even if you owe $5000, $10,000, even $15,000 movehicle is worth and want money down and no payments for six weeks, we will make it happen guaranteed but it all starts with one thinyou. call now! every credit application will be approved guaranteed. people who thought they would never get out of financing in the past have spot during sign & drive for 45. there has never been a sales event like this one before and there may never be one like it again. ey down no payments for six weeks to the first 500 people who call or log on to drive445.com. now is the time for you to drive the car, truck van or suv of your dreams for no money down no payments for six weeks regardless of past credit history. this is a sales event the likes of which this area has never seen before and may never see again so you must act now. limited time offer call n. there has never been a better time than now for people with severely damaged credit to drive the car they really want to drive. call the number on your screen now and drive the car, truck, van or suv of your

current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more than your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car, for 99 dollars down or 99 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now and take advantage of our instant approval process and you will have a loan and loan amount approved within minutes. take advantage of our state of the art and exclusive instant loan approval process. call now! can you believe my car was repo'd the other day? man, i was so upset i just did not know what i was gonna do. then a friend told me about drive for 99 so i called them and they said come on down. i mean here i am, i have a repo on my credit and everything and they told me they could help me. so i went down there and they did. they gave me a really nice car for just 99 dollars down. i was able to drive it away that day. thank you drive for 99 you really saved the day. with my bad credit i couldn't get a car anywhere. i went to 10 different dealerships, then i called during the drive for 99 e

ow! ow! hey! ow!( playing happy spanish music ) hasta la vista, baby. ( machine gun firing ) ( moaning ) what the...? eww! d-ohh! soup's on, fat boy. ow! hey! no! no! ow! n-no! ow! no! andy, no! homer. homer! marge! oh, why does art hate me? i never did anything to art. oh. let's get out of here. well, dad if the museum didn't inspire you maybe you should do something really radical, like christo. is he that jerk that revealed the magician's secrets? no. christo is a conceptual artist who does huge outdoor projects. he once wrapped the reichstag in plastic. not the reichstag! oh, yes, and he also set up hundreds of yellow umbrellas along the california highway. why? to make the world a more magical place, i guess, although they did blow over and kill some people. killer umbrellas? of course. exquisite. no, my point is you have to do something big and daring. big? daring? lisa, that's it! i've got an idea for a wonderful art project that'll make everyone love me again. step one: steal all the doormats

dang ol' statue of liberty, man. ( cheering ) ow! ow! ow! ow! this salsa is stinging my cuts.'m fixin' to bring out the tortilla chips. i'm not goin' to tell you again. ( cheering ) how's it feel, dad? is it everything i hoped it would be? i don't want to be here and i wouldn't be if dale hadn't baked all day. well, then, you shouldn't have had your henchmen write that essay. y'all want to see what dale's been keeping in the basement for the last 20 years? ( disgusted groans ) no, no, not that. i made him donate that to the teaching hospital. boomhauer... the year is 1979. every week the entire nation turns for hope to laverne and shirley. ted koppel arranges to have 44 americans held hostage on a sound stage in burbank by actors impersonating iranian fanatics. and arlen's leading all-time rusher is hank hill. ( all cheering ) the hopes and dreams of a small texas town in the state of texas rest squarely on the broad athletic shoulders of their star running back and his trusted towel manager. look at hank go. touchdown! yay, dad! ( all cheering ) okay, stop it. no one wants to

if you owe more than your current vehicle is worth even if you owe $5000, $10,000, even $15,000 more than your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car of your dreams for no money down and no payments for six weeks, we will make it happen guaranteed but it all starts with one thing a phone call to us by you. call now! every credit application will be approved guaranteed. people who thought they would never get out of financing in the past have gotten approved on the spot during sign & drive for 45. there has never been a sales event like this one before and there may never be one like it again. no money down no payments for six weeks to the first 500 people who call or log on to drive445.com. now is the time for you to drive the car, truck van or suv of your dreams for no money down no payments for six weeks regardless of past credit history. this is a sales event the likes of which this area has never seen before and may never see again so you must act now. this is an extremely limited time offer call now. there has never been a better time than now for people wi

( country music playing ) ♪ ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... ♪ hi, dad. fort worth is great.mpetition like? is tim woo there? yeah, but he hurt his hand stealing a coke from the coke machine. ( laughing ) hey, connie, is is my tongue blue? ah... who's that?! uh... it's tim woo. his tongue is blue. dad, i got to go practice some more. yes, go practice. okay, dad. i love you. stop talking. go practice. the key to writing a good yakov smirnoff joke is picturing yourself arriving in america and noticing that it is different from russia. it's brilliant, really. the only thing brilliant really about yakov smirnoff is that he's a kgb spy. he's been sending u.s. secrets back to mother russia while tourists are seduced by his fake comedy act. although his beard is real. ( laughing ) oh, this joke will kill. ( bad accent ): in america, you put "in god we trust" on your money. in russia, we have no money. ( laughter ) oh...! come on, focus. does anybody remember why we're going to branson? fiddle contest. and to have fun. yes, yes, we're going to have fun but you know what's not fun? be

you owe it to yourself to try this incredible machine.all or go online now. [♪...] >> inflammation in our joints and in our bodies has become a huge problem. anyone who suffers from arthritis or joint pain knows exactly what i'm taking about. i bet most of you believe that once that pain starts, it just gets worse and worse, right? >> audience: right. >> wrong. there are foods that contain hidden nutrients that can give your body the tools it needs to help fight the effects of arthritis and joint pain. this nutriblast contains the vitamin c brothers: lemon and lime. the anti-inflammatory enzyme bromelain found in grapefruit and pineapple. apples with their malic acid, which cuts right into arthritis. the anti-inflammatory omega-3 inside the flax seeds. and my personal favorite: turmeric. turmeric is probably the most powerful anti-inflammatory food you can find in your local grocery store. you ready to try this? you just make and you drink. so easy. so let's give it a try. wow, that's powerful. i don't know if you guys know this, but both

ow, ow, ow, ow!ratts creature powers... go to the wild kratts website. at pbskids.org. both: we'll see you there! [ female announcer ] fun for everyone makes a family strong. chuck e. cheese's proudly supports pbs kids. and by contributions to your pbs station from: [ female announcer ] fun for everyone makes a family strong. ♪ every day, when you're walking down the street ♪ ♪ everybody that you meet has an original point of view ♪ (laughing) ♪ and i say, hey hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day ♪ if we could learn to work and play ♪ ♪ and get along with each other ♪ ♪ you got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat ♪ ♪ listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street ♪ ♪ open up your eyes, open up your ears ♪ ♪ get together and make things better by working together ♪ ♪ it's a simple message, and it comes from the heart ♪ ♪ believe in yourself ♪ believe in yourself ♪ ♪ for that's the place to start ♪ ♪ place to start ♪ ♪ and i say, hey ♪ hey! hey! ♪ what a wonderful kind of day♪ ♪ if we could lear

down" credit...here's our promise to you during "drive for 99" - if you owe more than you're current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more than your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car, for 99 dollars down or 99 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now and take advantage of our instant approval process and you will have a loan and loan amount approved within minutes. take advantage of our state of the art and exclusive instant loan approval process. call now! can you believe my car was repo'd the other day? man, i was so upset i just did not know what i was gonna do. then a friend told me about drive for 99 so i called them and they said come on down. i mean here i am, i have a repo on my credit and everything and they told me they could help me. so i went down there and they did. they gave me a really nice car for just 99 dollars down. i was able to drive it away that day. thank you drive for 99 you really saved the day. with my bad credit i couldn't

ow! come back here and say that! ow! you guys got nothin' on me! guys, i'm really sorry. i'd appreciate it if you'd just forget i acted like a big macho idiot. i can't believe i blew the game! you mean, we blew the game. and i'd appreciate if you'd just forget i acted like a ditzy bimbo.

. >> oh, they owe me m-- they owe me money? >> yeah. >> oh, i'm-a get me the phone. i'm a-ask them how much they owe me. they gonna give me my money. how much? >> 50 big ones. >> what? 50 big ones? what? $50,000? i'm rich! i'm-a buy cora something. i'm buying her everything in the world she want. i'm-a buy cora a car, i'm getting her a husband, and i'm buying her a house. >> no. $50.74. >> what i'm-a do with 74 cents? >> now, now, with the fee that you owe me, that will leave you with...times 3. wait. did you pay for lunch or did i? >> i paid for lunch. >> okay, minus lunch plus gas. >> you don't even have no car. >> yeah, but that lunch gave me gas, though. >> you're ungrateful. that's what you are. ungrat-e-ful. >> all right, your total refund is $38.13. >> okay. you need to take you and your little calculator, and y'all need to go. >> oh, yeah, and the calculator rental. so that's $29.13. >> i just paid your doctor bill, that's what i did. i paid your hospital bill in full. >> what hospital bill? >> the one you gonna get after i punch you in your face. come -- >>

more than you're current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more thancurrent vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car, for 99 dollars down or 99 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now and take advantage of our instant approval process and you will have a loan and loan amount approved within minutes. take advantage of our state of the art and exclusive instant loan approval process. call now! can you believe my car was repo'd the other day? man, i was so upset i just did not know what i was gonna do. then a friend told me about drive for 99 so i i mean here i am, i have a repo on my credit and everything and they told me they could help me. so i went down there and they did. they gave me a really nice car for just 99 dollars down. i was able to drive it away that day. thank you drive for 99 you really saved the day. with my bad credit i couldn't get a car anywhere. i went to 10 different dealerships, then i called during the drive for 99 event, they got me a great

hhst: oh my goss. ow. unbelievable. ane'ssgirlfriend sarah harper posted ann eemtionnl tribute oo faccbook today, sayinn in art, "yoo will aaways be mmie and in a very ssecial and protected pllce in mm heart." police... say... thh thhee.. had plans to carry out a second killing... the samm nightt.. / but ... theyyweree caught.../ ndd...sttpped by ...police... uut hourr later.... thanks....to.. security cameras from llcal businessss... that... captured... thhiir caa... speeding. meannhile... ustralia's former dputy pprie minister is ow urging aussralians nott to travellto the united states ass mmssage tt the coontry to get tougher on guns. hey''e popular... but in sooe caaes dangerous. how a ombie walk in canadaa.. had pooice scrambllng to keep up. ?ówwwpppphas ottee facebookks attention.... withhhis eye openg poof of a securiiy fllw. khalll shreatt ey... sayss.. he found... aabug... in he sstess programming... thht allooee hii... to post... to... any meeber page....// so he reported it... to facebook's ecurityyteam.

>> ow! ow! ow. [ groaning ] [ door opens ] >> ooh! janine? what's your problem?>> well, you owe me $62 for your half of the groceries. >> $62? >> $62. >> $62. um, yeah, c.j., listen, i don't have that kind of cash on me right now. >> i'll take checks. >> [ chuckles ] no can do. listen, um...i opened up a new account, and they -- they put a hold on my paychecks. so i can't give it to you right now. i have to hit you later, okay? >> so when can i expect my money? >> i don't know! do i look like a bank teller? didn't i just tell you i don't have it? i'll get it to you when i can. >> whoa, whoa, whoa! i'm not going through this again. >> okay. >> sit down. sit down. look at me. look in my eyes. you using again? >> no, of course not, okay? i just have a lot going on. >> so, why can't you just talk to me about it? >> i can't, all right? just drop it. [ door closes ] >> okay, c.j., what is wrong with her? >> what's not wrong with her? >> well, do you believe her when she says she's not using? >> she says she's not using. >> didn't she say that the last time? >> malik, w

upside down" credit...here's our promise to you during "drive for 99" - if you owe more than you're current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more than your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car, for 99 dollars down or 99 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now and take advantage of our instant approval process and you will have a loan and loan amount approved within minutes. take advantage of our state of the art and exclusive instant loan approval process. call now! can you believe my car was repo'd the other day? then a friend told me about drive for 99 so i called them and they said come on down. i mean here i am, i have a repo on my credit and everything and they told me they could help me. so i went down there and they did. they gave me a really nice car for just 99 dollars down. i was able to drive it away that day. thank you drivfor 99 you really saved the day. with my bad credit couldn't get a car anywhere. i went to 10 different dealerships, then i c

but we owe people the truth. we owe them the history. and we owe the them of the value of the their higher. we owe them repair and we're not doing that. not only that. >> host: you say the loss of heritage is exacial to the holocaust and some of the other genocide. >> the holocaust was 12 years. this is 246 years plus a century. people lost their name, they lost their languages, they lost their culture, they lost everything. many people had their genitals severed. people lost their tongues. thomas jefferson, when he was 42 years old, had a relationship with a 14-year-old girl, sally, that he owned. and it wasn't frowned upon. we know what it would be called today. we lost any idea of who we were. it was our past. our memory was vanished. and we worked ourselves to early deaths. and built the capital. built the white house, and harvard law school which was endowed by isaac royal from the proceeds of sale of slaves he owned. and the west indies. these things were routine. many american institutions transferred wealth that they got from the

if you owe more than your current vehicle is worth even if you owe $5000, $10,000, even $15,000 more than your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car of your dreams for no money down and no payments for six weeks, we will make it happen guaranteed but it all starts with one thing a phone call to us by you. call now! every credit application will be approved guaranteed. people who thought they would never get out of financing in the past have gotten approved on the spot during sign & drive for 45. there has never been a sales event like this one before and there may never be one like it again. no money down no payments for six weeks to the first 500 people who call or log on to drive445.com. now is the time for you to drive the car, truck van or suv of your dreams for no money down no payments for six weeks regardless of past credit history. this is a sales event the likes of which this area has never seen before and may never see again so you must act now. this is an extremely limited time offer call now. there has never been a better time than now for people wi

ow, ow, ow, ow. how was your first day back? it was ok. is that what you're wearing to dinner, robert? yeah, what the hell, man? i don't feel like going out tonight. why? what's wrong? nothing. a person doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to eat. that's not true. but i thought we were gonna celebrate tonight. i bought very uncomfortable shoes. you know, i really don't need this kind of pressure right now. robert, what's the matter? nothing! nothing! just leave me alone! fine. don't want to go out? i understand. what i can't understand is how i can be such an idiot. ow. i'll tell you one thing. i'm returning these damn shoes. robert. what's with all the screaming? you guys aren't even married yet. i didn't scream at her, all right? well, you weren't nice. just shut up, raond. we don't say shut up, robert. well, then, be quiet, ma. oh, now, just one minute, mister. you do not come into my house-- our house. fine. our house. what happened? did you have a bad day at work today? you could say that. well, i hope it goes better tomorrow, but thi

together they owe $136,000. at 51, charlene hoped to put away money for retirement, instead -- >> about 50% of my paycheck goes toward my student loan debt. and that's quite a bit. >> charlene is paying off her own $51,000 loan after getting a masters. and she and her husband pay much of her children's college dits too. all are still in school. ebony owes 27,000. victoria 83,000. ricky owes 25,000 on loans and pays some of his tuition to help mom. >> i'm doing temp work to have extra money coming in. >> charlene is part of a group of americans 50 to 59 years old, who owe $112 billion in student loans. that's more than triple that age group owed in 2005. >> we used to think of student loans as temporary. for some american families they're becoming a lifetime or multigenerational burden. >> we're looking at $1400 a month. >> melissa is a credit counselor who helped charlene manage it all. >> 30% of my clients are in that bracket, they're worried about paying their children's loans or their own loans. a lot of them

if you owe more than your current vehicle is worth even if you owe $5000, $10,000, even $15,000 morehan your current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new car of your dreams for no money down and no payments for six weeks, we will make it happen guaranteed but it all starts with one thing a phone call to us by you. call now! every credit application will be approved guaranteed. people who thought they would never get out of financing in the past have gotten approved on the spot during sign & drive for 45. there has never been a sales event like this one before and there may never be one like it again. no money down no payments for six weeks to the first 500 people who call or log on to drive445.com. now is the time for you to drive the car, truck van or suv of your dreams for no money down no payments for six weeks regardless of past credit history. this is a sales event the likes of which this area has never seen before and may never see again so you must act now. this is an extremely limited time offer call now. there has never been a better time than now for people with

>> ow! >> group hug! >> come on, colonel. >> ow! >> colonel, let go. >> whoo! all right. it's gonna suck not seeing you guys. >> well, just 'cause your probation is up don't mean you can't come by and visit. >> really? >> really. >> aw. well, then i'll come back all the time. thank you. >> not -- not all the time. just holidays -- christmas. mainly christmas. i want a bentley. >> honey, i really think you have grown a little since you moved here. >> i'm wearing heels. shh. [ doorbell rings ] >> oh, lord. this door. >> yes! >> hello, mr. brown. >> look, officer, i did not -- i didn't do nothing. >> nice teddy bear. >> thank you. >> does this woman belong to anyone here? >> what did you do? what happened, daisy? >> i caught her vandalizing the neighborhood. >> london and i were on top of a building, dropping water balloons, when this flatfoot showed up, and when i looked around, london was nowhere to be seen. >> ha ha! "get miss daisy arrested." check! >> that's cold, london. that's cold. >> no. it's super-hot. ha! >> hey, baby. oh, baby. >> curtis. >> baby, baby girl, baby

i only took this job because my mom owes aunt marie. my mom owes your mom! yeah, yeah. believe whatever you want. i'm stard! you got problems, pal! you got problems, all right? and i'll tell you something. you're gonna go through life blind to your problems! and there's no call for that kind of language! neow. duh! right neow. ahh! right now. now! now! right now! right now! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ what if we could keep that much plastic waste out of landfills each year. by using just one less trash bag each month... we can. and glad forceflex bags stretch untithey're full. so you can take them out less often. it's a small change that can make a big difference. and for continuous odor neutralization... use new glad odorshield with feeze. [ horn honks ] kevin! toaster strudel, yah? ♪ warm, flaky, gooey [ kenny can dodge a question. schoolget to pizza pleasin' honey, how'd that test go? [ female announcer ] in just 60 seconds, you've got snack-defying, satisfying mmmm. totino's pizza rolls. mmm hmmm. mmmm. [ female announcer ] zero to pizza. pronto. high fructose corn syrup from yoplait o

more than you're current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more thanur current vehicle is worth and want to drive the brand new vehicle of your dreams for 88 dollars down and 88 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now! i have medical bills. i have credit card bills. the irs is after me. as a result of all that i have horrible credit, but i still need a reliable car. they repoed my car, man! can you believe that, they repoed my car. my car was just right there. i come out i look out the window and my car's sitting fine. come back its gone. they repoed my car. 88 dollars down, 88 dollars a month. crazy 88, can't beat that. thank god for crazy 88. only 88 dollars down, 88 dollars a month. you can't beat that. what the repo man have to say now? now is the time to act there has never been a better opportunity for people with severely damaged credit to drive the car truck, van or suv they have always imagined themselves behind the wheel of! get out of that high mileage vehicle you

we owe them something for that. we owe them the story. we have been asked to expect that people can survive in good sound, psychology health. ashes and obliterated history. when i was a dmield richmond, virginia, we used to have a phrase that we used all the time from here to tim. but nobody knew what it was. nobody knew the providence of the world. didn't know where it was. didn't know it was a place. tim buck, which was a cross roads. it was also a site of one the world's first university. and so still -- you have all of these man -- manuscript written between 5 ad and 15 ad. manuscript of the highest quality written by african and arab scholars. we knew nothing about this. we didn't know anything about one of the -- we didn't know anything about the queen of shea baa who was described in the bible. she lived all of her live there. approximately what ethiopia was today. shiba is now yemen. but it was short to the queen of shib ash. want bible describes her as a woman of black skin. but in the movie it wasn't. all of our story was taken,

"the debt: what america owes to blacks," 2000.02, "the reckoning: what blacks owe to each other." "quitting america: the departure of a black man from his native land" came out in 2004, and his most recent book in 2007, "an unbroken agony: haiti from the revolution to the kidnappings of a president." and randall robinson is also the author of this new novel, "m "makeda," which is the story of -- >> guest: a grandmother who wants her grandson who wants to be a writer and she wants him to feel a great pride of possibility, and she wants him to know that the times in which he is living take up a very small space in our long existence and that we have known better times that we will see again. and she tells him of those times. when we were in command of an egypt, that was the greatest nation in the world. >> host: lots of, lots of facebook comments that we're going to try to get to. do you, do you participate in social media, twitter, facebook, web site, etc. >> guest: i have no clue -- [laughter] none of it. none, none, none at all.

more than you're current vehicle is worth - even if you owe $5,000, $10,000, even $15,000 more thanorth and want to drive the brand new car, for 99 dollars down or 99 dollars per month we will make it happen...but it all starts with one thing - a phone call - to us - by you...call now and take advantage of our instant approval process and you will have a loan and loan amount approved within minutes. take advantage of our state of the art and exclusive instant loan approval process. call now! can you believe my car was repo'd the other day? man, i was so upset i just did not know what i was gonna do. then a friend told me about drive for 99 so i called them and they said come on down. i mean here i am, i have a repo on my credit and everything and they told me they could help me. so i went down there and they did. they gave me a really nice car for just 99 dollars down. i was able to drive it away that day. thank you drive for 99 you really saved the day. with my bad credit i couldn't get a car anywhere. i went to 10 different dealerships, then i called during the drive for 99 event,

ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!t hang on all day. and we'll help you out. hey, everybody! we've got a medical emergency! (wailing) how did that happen? i'm sorry for stealing your inventions and calling you "little miss science pants" and capturing creatures. just please get it off! zach, quiet and don't move, and the gila monster will let you go. ow, it still hurts. yeah, that's the venom. and here's my special antivenom. no, not a needle! zach, i already gave you the shot. it should already be feeling better. it does feel better, but it's still all your fault! what? why did you give me the idea that gila monsters are good for anything in the first place? (screaming) (hissing) they're dangerous. ahhh! (screaming) well, at least he won't bother gila monsters anymore. (phone ringing) the gila monster eggs are hatching! he's just like a big one, but cuter. que lindo. this is incredible. when a gila monster hatches out, she is an exact replica of her parents-- just smaller. yeah, gila monsters are the only lizards in n

ow! come back here and say that! ow! you guys got nothin' on me! guys, i'm really sorry.ust forget i acted like a big macho idiot. i can't believe i blew the game! you mean, we blew the game. and i'd appreciate if you'd just forget i acted like a ditzy bimbo. and i'd appreciate it if you'd just forget... forget... and i'd appreciate it if you never mentioned that we... worked together. oh, i think i'm gonna enjoy reminding you for a long, long time... forget this incident ever happened, slag-weasel! that's an order! ti-grr! oh, hey, jeff! say, if you ever see that sa3-d33 girl again, tell her to give me a ring-a-ding-ding, would ya buddy? all right. but, blip. you lost the bet. aren't you supposed to be flossing the blood bots' back hatch? i was. but i hired this janitor to do it for me. hey whoa, it's just my night job. i still have a dream! shut your noise hole and scrub. lower, lower, lowerrr. girl: don't look at me. second girl: your hair's a bit frizzy today. aw! ha ha! you should pick that up. announcer: every day, kids witness bullying. poor you. ha ha! they want t

>> jimmy: ow, ow, ow!got a good choke on you there. [ laughter ] >> i feel like my technique was all off. >> jimmy: yeah, you're technique was off. do we have a replay of what i just did? i attacked her. >> jimmy: look at this. i came at you like a cat. i grabbed you. that hurt me there, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] that hurt me yeah. >> sorry. my technique is off. >> jimmy: no, that was good by the way. >> no, you did -- i did not. did i really? >> jimmy: you hurt my wrist a little bit. >> i'm so sorry! and the baby! and you've got the baby! >> jimmy: no i'm kidding. no i'm kidding. i'm joking, i'm joking. but that's a good move. what did you actually do? [ laughter ] >> what i was trying to do -- what i was attempting to do is lock your hand here. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> and then grab -- i lock this, right here. >> jimmy: got this, yeah. >> i lock your hand here. and i grab -- >> jimmy: ooh, ow, ow. >> -- and i pull around. and i could break your hand and then i just go right there, to the cheek or the n

in 2005, they owed $8 billion in student loans. but in 2012, they owed $43 billion.udent loans. so for many american families, student loan debt is a lifetime or even multigenerational problem. >> really, really brings it home. thank you very much for the alarming statistics. as we mentioned, of course, we are kicking off this week a week long back to college series called "school daze." we'll looking at everything from how to pay for college to the courses to help graduates land a job in the economy today, bill. >> today we are focusing on the student debt problem and graduates struggle to get a job. we can't help but ask the question, is college still worth it? bill bennett, of course, former secretary of education under president reagan is asking that question in the new book, "is college worth it?" he says a degree doesn't have same guarantees he used to and joins us with a professor. who, of course, disagrees on that issue. bill bennett, the question i have to ask is, can you afford not to go to college in today's economy? >> sure, you can. look, intellectual ca

they owed more than they made.hey had to sign their paychecks over every friday. >> what happens to traffic persons when they are relieved of that status? are they able to stay here? what about people who are in this country legally even citizens as you say? >> an international victim has the option of returning home to their home countries. >> okay. >> some don't because that's where their traffickers are. they are afraid for their own life and the life of their family. they could choose to stay here. our own citizens stay here. there are a number of service organizations that really provide services, mental health services, health services, job training, all of that. >> if we google trafficking are we going to find out enough? do you have a web site you want to throw out or a name to google. >> i would suggest the palaris. >> okay. >> and they are also the national resource center in this country. they have contacts across the nation. no matter where you are in the country it's a great place to say how do i get h

>> ow, ow, ow. >> i think he's going to feel that in the morning. >> she walks over to his bowed r buddyt's going to leave a mark. >> ouch. >>> you think you know your friends until you tell them you're afraid of flying and somehow you end up on a plane with that friend? >> i can tell who the friend is here. this guy. >> uh-huh. >> they're just driving on the runway and he's getting all gainy. >> they finally takeoff. nervous friend is josh. >> i like how the friend has a nice smirk on his face. >> anthony the pilot gives him a little heads up about what's going to happen. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. ah! >> so they pull a 360 in the air, right? he's freaking out. it doesn't get any better. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> oh, man. >> wow. >> what a great friend to have. i mean, you can't pay for this kind of flight. >> [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> that's an -- you get it from your buddy whom you trust. >> who is obviously in control. >> [ bleep ]. >> his buddy kills the engine just to freak him out just a little more. >> [ bleep ]. >> his life flashed before his eyes. >> this may look like an amusem

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. >> and on what grounds would we owe pp would we owe ppose it? >> both china and the nicaraguians are happy it's been on the business pages because they're away of sensitivity. it's the result of china on the march of figuring out where this would be and this would give them easy navigation in waters near the u.s.. they're thinking smart. >> i don't think my contention is getting through. i won't call it a proposition. >> strategy reasons for it, geo. >> that's why china wants to build it, own it, et cetera. >> i think you have a great movie plot for the battles of the canal. >> john, let's get serious here. number one, we do need a second canal. it would be a good idea. while it has been expanded it won't tank super tankers and this would cut a lot of miles off shipping. and nicaragua has approved a study to look at whether they approve the project. year talking about a decade from now. >> they don't want the nicaraguas to build it. jing wants the chinese to build it. >> i would say it has a less than a 1% chance it would be financed. i wouldn't

<ow!> bolts, i don't usually like crossing the line

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>> ow, ow, ow. >> i think he's going to feel it. >> he walks over like, that's going to leave a mark.>> this video is going to make you say, dude, your hand. i think you see why. it might take a little second to figure out what's going on here. >> [ bleep ]. >> this is the russian fisherman and that is a monkfish. you see that fish like almost readjust its grip. >> the fish isn't dead, according to fishwatch.gov, they are described as opportunistic eaters. >> i would say so. >> who will eat whatever prey is most available including fish, mollusk, a seabird and diving ducks and hands. >> i know this was painful, but all i can think of is a took a 2 and 4 and a pole to pry his mouth open. >> holy mackerel. >> holy monkfish. >>> this is every man's dream. he has arrived to a party, but once he enters, he puts his glasses on and suddenly everything changes. >> hello! >> this is an ad for agent provocateur. it's a luxury lingerie line for women. penelope cruz wrote and directed this video. >> so created by a woman. >> created by a woman. >> yeah, ladies. >> i just didn't want to just show

. >>> all eyes on owe shown city where a nation -- ocean city where a nationwide fishing tournament, just ended. alex has details of woven the richest fishing tournaments. >> reporter: the white marlin an estimated top prize of $1.2 million. tommy jones of severna park will find out if he hooked it. >> who knew fishing was a spectator sport. every summer it turn into one in ocean city. the biggest sport fish from tunas to sharks draw prizes but the largest white marlin earns big money. the front run certificate an 83- pounder caught thursday. tommy jones of severna park caught it. >> great, happy to be here. been attending this town amount long time, my dad my family happy to be here enjoy this moment everybody. >> reporter: the tournament stretches beyond ocean city the fish are donated to the maryland food bank. >> 262 boats participated 8,000 pounds of marlin tuna and wahoo. >> anglers are given 3 days to catch what they can. >> jones under estimated his. >> high 70s, 78. very very excited to be where we are at now. >> reporter: if no one tops 83 pounds it is a million dollar catc

ow. ow. - a little bit. okay. - i'm gonna get a shower radio, so i can literally rog out with my cog out. - or we could just stick to the camping list, get the supplies we need, right? - definitely, but first, i want to get the stuff that i want to get first. - yeah. - know what i'm saying? - i'm gonna do that too. - all right, just-- you know, travel shampoos. look for 'em. come on, 35 bucks? for what? oh, plugs into the car. that's cool. - going camping there, paul bunyan? - uh, no, me and my buddies are gonna follow a concert tour, so we're just gonna, like, be camping out. - that sounds fun. - yeah, it should be. i'm not really a great outdoors guy, though. you know, unless there's a bald-headed bear. - yeah. - from the movie, um-- - what movie's that? - it's the great outdoors. what are you doing? - shh. - i don't think we should-- are you pregnant? - shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. it's not for you to know what's inside this belly. - you're squeezing so hard. - you like that? - i like it. - oh, look at that.

ow! oh, blip, maybe someday you'll grow up to be a real man.

owes a cleaner and safer environment and they must be ameliorated as much as possible.ho do you hold responsible for this and what can be done? >> well, because most of the mining, that occurred during the 30s to the 60s was predominately for the weapons program or the united states. of course you would say it is the united states responsibility not only to pay for healthcare and cleanup but also to look at the issues that were at hand and now currently we are dealing with not just weapons but energy problem so it's up to the united states to find an energy solution so we don't use dirty type of energy because nuclear power is not green and not renewable and not recycling and people call it a nuclear field chain but it's not a cycle. everybody calls it a nuclear field cycle but we call it a chain because every step of the chain has waste and it's not the water and contaminated houses, we saw a picture of a sheep with no hair and the loss of our plants. it's the plant nations, the animal nations and not just human kind but all of these, this life that is lost is incalcul

a lot of people owe you gratitude.g me. >> thank you, piers. >> thank you very kindly. >>> coming up next, we'll find out why you owe me $10,000, john oliver. >> i would like to personally offer $10,000 in reward to anyone who can bring me footage of piers morgan falling off that segue. i don'without goingcisions to angie's list first. with angie's list, i know who to call, and i know the results will be fantastic! find out why more than two million members count on angie's list. angie's list -- reviews you can trust. a quarter million tweeters is beare tweeting. and 900 million dollars are changing hands online. that's why hp built a new kind of server. one that's 80% smaller. uses 89% less energy. and costs 77% less. it's called hp moonshot. and it's giving the internet the room it needs to grow. this&is gonna be big. hp moonshot. it's time to build a better enterprise. together. >>> dr. sanjay gupta's special on marijuana was a huge success on sunday night. among the viewers was john oliver, currently standing in up