there was my dad telling me i had just been diagnosed with leukemia and we are going back to palestinpalestin e. you're going to see it and then you are sort of going to grow up and deal with it. and i'm going to go. so that was the launch point for the book and the play so i realized in the process of writing this book although i constantly feel like i still am this like confused i don't know if i'm an american. i don't know if i'm palestinian or lebanese. i don't know if i and smart. i don't know if i understand politics that i somehow still managed to internalize and really take in and understand everything that my father stood for and spoke about and was famous for and was feared forward which is a certain amount of integrity and association with my identity that it is part of who i am and that is something that i will not deny. even if i don't feel like i have a house in palestine that i note each nook and cranny of the walls or my grandfather was there. it wasn't tangible and that is what made it feel -- but in writing this book and going through this process i realized i had taken in eve