patton sees what's going on. this wasn't part of his forces but patton is like the germans are on the back for because of this. he literally just one day said we're going to cross the rhine. he gets across the rhine relatively easy in the southern part of germany. and then, of course, once you're across the rhine it's a race across germany. that's basically what he's doing in april and, of course, in the beginning of may of 1945. once the allies get across the right actually only a question of time at that point. if you look at the history of the u.s. army and obviously it's a very long and illustrious history, the worst month of casualties, hands down, was basically the period of december and january of 1944-1945. the american army suffered in just northwest of 144,000 casualties. that's not all dead but a lot of that is killed in action, a lot of it is wanted, a lot of it is missing in action so yes, there is all kinds of fighting going on. you are talking literally about an 80-mile front worth of combat. it's

where is our general george patton? ?here are they where is general patton? where is general george patton? ?o you know where they are they are watching and they are spinning in their graves. they don't believe it. wouldn't it be nice if we just shut up, did the job, had a news conference a week later, and said -- ?e had great success wouldn't that be nice now? that's obama. that's obama. -- you know what? hillary that would be four more years of obama, and we don't want it. and tell -- president to stop campaigning and go back to work. jobs,oing to deliver safety, great education, help small businesses to thrive and grow, and create amazing opportunities for the children of this country. , we have such an amazing, incredible hispanic american community -- from cuba, from puerto rico, from -- a greatfrom haiti people. they are such warm, great people. by the way, warm, great people. they hate the clintons. they hate what the clintons did to them in haiti. they hate them. republic, and from -- to all ofaces our wonderful hispanic communities in the state, i wa

patton oswalt will be performing in minnesota on november 11, and patton oswalt, everybody! we'll be right back with maz jobrani. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back. oh, folks, my guest guest has performed at the white house and the kennedy center and now he's here to perform for us. please welcome the very funny >> thank you, thank you. i'm excited to be here. i'm a big fan of the show. this is fantastic. a lot of crazy things going on in the world right now. the elections are almost over. a lot of crazy-- ( applause ) yes, yes. a lot of craziness, islama phobia is on the rise. i'm originally from the middle east myself. i was born in iran. and i gotta tell you, it's a hard time to be middle eastern these days. it's a hard time to be middle eastern these days. and by "these days" i past 500 years. ( laughter ) yeah, that's the last year we had a good year, yeah. remember that? 1516, we were in the super bowl. but we didn't win. we didn't win. yeah. it's crazy because they've been kicking middle eastern people off of airplanes

ladies and gentlemen, please welcome patton oswalt! ? ? ? ( applause ) >> oh, hi. >> stephen: thanks for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> stephen: how are you doing? >> aaahh... i'm okay. you know, it's-- it's it's weird. doing-- like, me sitting here now talking to you, this part very easy. and not leaving for days, super easy. ( laughter ). >> stephen: there might be a few people out there, just to explain, who-- that, sadly, six months ago you lost your wife michelle. >> yes, yes. >> stephen: for the people who don't know that, now you are-- you've been very public about it, about your grief, in ways that i think has been very appreciated by people who have experienced grief because there are a lot of times people don't talk about it, and they don't want to hear it sometimes because they feel almost like it's contagious. it's sori contemplate, but you sharing with other people i think has been a beautiful gift for someone to give to know that other people are not alone. so thank you for that. >> i mean, it's a-- ( applause ) thank

patton oswalt, everybody!plause ) ,, man: in cities big and small, newspapers all over say it's time. woman: time to legalize and regulate marijuana in california. man: time to "vote yes on prop 64." woman: it's "better for public health, for law and order and for society." man: "it makes sense to regulate and tax" marijuana. woman: "prop 64 would bring discipline and oversight." man: "prop 64 is the first step toward a rational drug policy." woman: "it's time for a new approach." man: vote yes on 64. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) the time is long overdue... pharmaceutical industry. passes - the ballot. they prey on our children, spending billions. addicting 17,000 california kids each year. eventually killing one-third of them. now tobacco companies are spending millions to... defeat prop 56. because in every state that's raised tobacco taxes, smoking rates go down. so who are you going to trust? pediatricians, cancer groups and the califronia pta who all... support prop 56. or the tobacco companies trying to kill it.

patton oswalt will be performing in minnesota on november 11, and patton oswalt, everybody! we'll be right back with maz jobrani. ? ? ? what's kelly ayotte costing you? you're paying more for prescription medicines. kelly ayotte blocked lower cost generic drugs. you're paying high interest rates on college loans. ayotte voted against letting you refinance at lower rates. and you're paying higher bank fees while ayotte voted for special breaks to wall street executives. kelly ayotte. she's siding with corporate special interests and that's costing you. she's not working for new hampshire. vo: ending funding for planned parenthood. taking away our right to choose. restricting our health care choices. this is senator kelly ayotte's record. ayotte voted six times to end funding for planned parenthood - putting access to birth control and cancer screenings at risk. but it's just an act. woman 2: voters definitely cannot trust kelly ayotte. vo: senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. ? ? ? every time a new charter opens, it takes money away from the

patton oswalt, everybody!plause ) i alone can fix it! bomb the [bleep] out of 'em. i'd like to punch him in the face. i like people that weren't captured, okay? he's a mexican! she ate like a pig... i moved on her like a [bleep] i did not say that... i love war. yes, including with nukes. blood coming out of her... they're rapists... wrong. there has to be some form of punishment. such a nasty woman. i wanna be unpredictable. ...on 5th avenue and shoot somebody... she's a slob... i don't remember! and you can tell them to go [bleep] themselves! priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. prioriat a neighborhoods a is rerestaurafavorite - a place for a good, family meal. she juggled customers, cooks, waitresses - and never complained. my dad was a police officer walking his beat. i learned from both what it means to be honest, to work hard, and love family. big banks, wall street, special interests - that's who pat toomey's with. in the senate, i'll work for you and your family. i'

patton oswalt. comedian, nate bargatze. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 563, iowa! >> steve: and now, here he is, ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that is a crowd! that is a great crowd right there. welcome! looking good. looking good, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. you're here, you made it! you made it. you're here. we've got a fun show for you. here's what people are talking about. a new poll finds that donald trump and hillary clinton are in a a statistical tie just a week from election day. but on the bright side, at least trump's finally in a tie [ laughter and applause ] so that's -- >> steve: oh! [ applause ] >> jimmy: but the big story right now is the world series. tonight was game seven between the chicago cubs and the cleveland indians. [ cheers and applause ] the cubs actually came back from being down three games to one, to force a seventh game. that's right, cleveland had a a big lead, then it disa

. >> reporter: that's why state senator tom patton and other lawmakers doubled down on ohio's motion picture tax credit. $40 million of your money will go to movie makers. >> i think we've proved that this tax credit works. (please stand by, audio

george patton was an olympian in 1912. u.s. army shooting team represented the united states in london in 2012 and they will again in rio in 2016. so there has always been soldier participation in every olympic team. 1928 was a special because a general ran the olympic team. the 1930's. to another important time in his life. he has now achieved just about everything has father had achieved in his army career except for one thing. his father was never chief of staff of the army, the seniormost commanding officer of the army. in 1930, douglas macarthur managed to do what his father never did and he becomes chief of staff of the army. a post he will hold for the next five years. this was a really rough time for the united states. the great depression. the stock market had crashed in 1929. mcarthur has a very turbulent time as chief of staff of the army. several things go on that contribute to that turbulence. the first is when the stock market crashes, 25% of the country goes into the darkest deepest depression it is ever had and

mike patton was shot to death inside his bar last monday. cain, was the self described "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs including heroin, meth, cocaine, and marijuana as well as more than 125- who killed patton--- continues. jay anderson's family takes the first step toward filing a lawsuit against the city of wauwatosa. anderson is the man police shot and killed earlier this year. his family has filed notice-- saying they've seen dash camera video of the shooting and that anderson had his hands in the air when he was shot. it also questions how the police department processed the scene after the shooting. "there was an allegation there was a gun in the vehicle somewhere on the passenger side maybe the passenger wauwatosa police department after the shooting removed the handgun that they alleged was in the vehicle" wauwatosa police say they won't release the video until the d-a decides if the officer should be

patton oswalt is stopping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: love him. >> steve: love him, too. >> jimmy: and we have great, great stand-up from my man, nate bargatze is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i love this show! >> jimmy: the whole show is going to be fun. hey, guys, we are in week nine of the nfl season, and the big sunday night football matchup is between the denver broncos and the oakland raiders right here on nbc. now, as you know, at the end of player. but they also give out awards during the season, sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks. like, most likely to succeed, class clown. stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for tonight show superlatives. here we go. ? tonight show superlatives ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first player is jordan taylor. he's a wide receiver for the denver broncos. he was voted, most athletic >> steve: wow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: next up is broncos quarterback paxton lynch. he was voted most likely to kiss the tip

mike patton was shot to death inside his bar at 35th and silver spring last monday. cain, was the self described "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs including heroin, meth, cocaine, and marijuana as well as more than into who killed patton--- continues. this is it - history is happening tonight at progressive field... after the cubs forced a game 7 against the cleveland indians. and even though all the action's happening in cleveland... that's not stopping fans from all over the world... from pouring into wrigleyville. our sister station's tonya francisco gives us a look at the late stay with fox6 for all your world series coverage the m-l-b pregame starts at 6:30, with the first pitch at 7:08. and stick around after... for the awards ceremony... and fox6 news at ten. our world series coverage continues all morning long - straight ahead... the unlikely magazine - that predicted this 'well if we just think about milwaukee, 1-in-4 children i

mike patton was shot to death inside his bar last monday. cain, was the self described "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs including heroin, meth, cocaine, and marijuana as well as more than 125- thousand dollars in cash. police say their investigation into who killed patton--- continues. we'll find out today wher presidential race. the results of the final marquette law school poll before the election will be released today. meanwhle -- yesterday was another busy day filled with campaign stops across wisconsin... fox 6's theo keith has more from republican presidential nominee donald trump's visit to eau 18:28:05 wisconsin is one of several states where you can change your early ballot if you think youve made a mistake. a lot of stuff has come out 18:25:26 you can change your vote to donald trump, well make america day campaigning in florida. she's trying to put the focus back on trump-- and his demeaning comment

mike patton was shot to death inside his bar last monday. cain, was the self described "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs and marijuana as well as more than 125- thousand dollars in cash. police say their investigation into who killed patton--- continues. the family of a man shot and killed by a wauwatosa police officer takes the first step toward filing a lawsuit against the city. jay anderson is the man police shot and killed earlier this year. his family has filed notice-- saying they've seen dash camera video of the shooting and that anderson had his hands in the air when he was shot. it also questions how the police department processed the scene after the shooting. was a gun in the vehicle somewhere on the passenger side maybe the passenger seat unfortunately the wauwatosa police department after the shooting removed the handgun that they alleged was in the vehicle" wauwatosa police say they won't release t

patton. the main contingent of the army was 13th engineers which was also based out of the washington, d.c., area. one of the other groups that was there were the gold star mothers. i think allison, what was their role? >> explain who the gold star mothers are? >> right. gold star mothers were women who lost a child during world war i. they wore a gold star to represent that loss. they participated in this part of the parade and ceremony laying wreaths at the tomb of the unknown soldier. >> there we see weaponry in the war honoring wore 1 -- world wai

plan, butthis great what was patton going to do? the guy that was in charge of the seventh army, general brandenberger, it was his job to contain patton. he was like -- you are not giving me enough stuff to contain this guy. of the allied generals that we fear the most and you are not given me much to stop this guy. he was already in their minds, living in their heads. so, when the offense of kicked , he was to the south of the german offensive. it wasn't actually in his area of operations, initially. because the germans did penetrate the allied lines, the plan was that they were going to have patton drive his army from the south to the north to basically cut the balls and half at the base of the bulge. i asked him -- you are facing east with all of these men. you have got all of these men with several divisions, talking well over 100,000 men. all right? we need you to turn them 90 degrees and had to the north. which would have been difficult for most generals. it was even more difficult because it was on the fly and there wasn't a

mike patton was shot to death inside "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs including heroin, meth, cocaine, and marijuana as well as more than 125- thousand dollars in cash. police say their investigation into who killed patton--- continues. the family of a man shot and killed by a wauwatosa police officer takes the first step toward filing a lawsuit against the city. jay anderson is the man police shot and killed earlier th his family has filed notice-- saying they've seen dash camera video of the shooting and that anderson had his hands in the air when he was shot. it also questions how the police department processed the scene after the shooting. "there was an allegation there was a gun in the vehicle somewhere on the passenger side maybe the passenger seat unfortunately the wauwatosa police department after the shooting removed the handgun that they alleged was in the vehicle" wauwatosa police say they won't if the officer should be charged. the case rem

-- throws later -- another lob for patton -- and he's teed up after the slam -- dennis smith -- the super freshman doing what he can to keep state within contact -- the pack with major foul tourble though -- right now -- five games into the season -- duke has it's first championship. the blue devils bested the eight team with rhode island this afternoon. chase jeter -- injured ankle yesterday - but a go today -- that's good news. he played only eight minutes instead duke relying on it's shooters -- luke kennard being one of them. duke out to a quick lead -- kennard isn't just a shooter though -- he can make plays -- to the rim he goes and the lay-in later -- grayson allen drive -- kicks to kennard -- 12 points in the first half -- duke up by plaed some great defense against the rams. and amile jefferson had a bid day -- matt jones with the assist -- the lead is 14 jones -- can't finish but amile is there -- he had 17 points and 15 rebounds kennard led the way with 24 points -- hitting four of his five attempts from deep -- duke wins by ten - they return to action wednesday when they

if you read the quotes from this general, the modern-day patton. to be called mawd dog by the marines is, to be called mad dog by the marines is a compliment. lou: he also said where there is innocents, do not take the shot. he also said that don't a squander a victory with an immoral act. and i think that that is a leavening george patton did not always produce. a great general and stirring fellow and highly successful. but it's nice to hear that leavening quality in his character. >> all the characters they are looking at today are very strong leaders so i'm pleased with that. lou: where do we go from here. secretary of state. is it still giuliani's to lose? >> my concern is i think romney would be big mistake because he never endorsed the president-elect. he mate not even have voted for him. he has no expertise in foreign affairs. at this point in time you ought to reward the people who were there in the trenches with you. lou: you are sounding as shallow and petty as i am to say any man who offended me to that degree i couldn't tolerate. >> he

ga-- uh, g-george patton. and they said, "who's george patton?" >> isn't that scary? >> and you go onto e is now, uh, singing." "who-who's eddie fisher?" >> that's right. >> and you say-- "mickey mouse? does that ring a bell?" [ laughter ] and they go, "oh. mickey mouse." >> but i'll tell you what it is. the young people-- and i don't care if you all get mad at me. the way you all voted, i'm not too thrilled, with the way you went. [ laughter ] but-- [ applause ] they're not thinking. they-they are a-- only worry about what happened before and the effects it's having now. and i mean this honestly. >> yeah. i think you're right. >> they're now people, which means nothing is-- you know, they know who bruce is. what about tommy dorsey? >> amen. >> right? >> okay. all right, we shall return, in just a moment. [ music ] [ cheering and applause ] we just have a few seconds. you wereon >> anytime. >> i'll have some world war ii people, afterwards? >> good. [ laughter ] >> thank you. [ cheering and applause ] [ music ] it's hokey. it's funny. it is not. guys, maybe you can se

patton tells us he rebill the engine to make it a muscle car.ust, his other car, a 2005 honda civic needed engine work. >> it started making noise. >> he took the civic to amoco. they completely offered to rebuild the transmission. he instructed aamco to only repair a certain part of the transmission which he believed was the problem. patton says after driving the car for just two weeks, the problem was back and seemed worse. >> it started making noise in every single gear. >> he took it back to the shop. >> i had a year warranty on it. >> the folks at aamco told him the warranty only covered the work he authorized and additional repairs would cost him an additional $2,000. >> i called harry hairston from channel 10. >> we contacted the shop which insisted it was not responsible for the additional repairs but just a week later, the shop decide to do the work, charging patton $267 for parts. didútaey say why? >> no explanation. >> the shop later told us it changed its mind because it wanted to keep its customer happy. >> big thanks to you, harry.

patton oswalt! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> wow. >> jimmy: it's always -- it's always a good -- --part of the show. >> jimmy: thanks for coming back. i appreciate it. i know you had a great halloween. >> yes. >> jimmy: with your daughter. >> yeah, well, we both equally love halloween. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> we're both like equal fans of it. >> jimmy: me and you, you mean? or you and your daughter? >> you know what, i'll take it either way. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. sure, i enjoy it. >> however you want to do it, jimby. so the -- [ >> jimmy: kind of hoping the irish falcon would pick up. [ laughter ] >> somebody #irishfalcon and get it trending, please? >> jimmy: no, don't do that please. you went all out -- >> the thing was, she wanted to be raven from "teen titans go." because she loves that cartoon. and then she goes, you've got to be raven's dad, who is this demon named trigon, so -- that's your dad? how awesome is that. how cool is your dad. [ applause ] you did this last year, too. >> well, i did this a couple of ye

mike patton was shot to death "bar manager" and subleased the apartment upstairs from patton. investigators say a trail of blood led them to kick in cain's door. inside, they say they found drugs including heroin, meth, cocaine, and marijuana as well as more than 125- thousand dollars in cash. police say their investigation into who killed patton--- continues. family members of jay anderson -- who died in an officer-involved shooting-- wauwatosa on notice... the family plans to take legal action.... saying errors in judgment.. and police training... led to their loved one's death. fox 6s derica williams has the developing story. its really rough every day is a struggle for jay anderson juniors father. same for his fiancee and mother of his child star delarosa, i seen the video numerous times and i felt like what i seen he did not deserve to get killed a notice of legal action against the city of wauwatosa. in the document, it says anderson was shot six times by a wauwatosa police officer who approached and then woke up anderson in his car. the video does show is mr anderson ha

patton oswalt.

patton's mel license is suspended. >> live look at reading. it feels more seasonal today. over the next few days though we can actually see a big old warmup. let's head over to kathy orr tracking that forecast now. hello, kathy. >> well, good afternoon, lucy. hello, everyone. yes, we're looking at the air part right now where we do have a movely cloudy sky but skies will gradually clear during the overnight hours it's 58 the high today 60 but the key ingredient to this forecast is the wind. you watch the wind and you can pretty much forecast yourself. southerly wind at 9 miles an hour means gradually we will get warmer and temperatures will not fall off all that much tonight because of the clouds and because of that southerly wind. so you have 46 in the poconos. but look at lancaster. 54. reading 55. to the west some warmth is building. afternoon highs in western new york and western pa very mild. cleveland still 76. pittsburgh at 74 and clarksburg, west virginia at 72. this is the warmth in the southwest that's going to be moving our way. high pressure builds off the coas

jason patton from ec plumbing in lakewood is here. you're going to show us how to install a new shower head. it's really easy? >> there's all kinds of varieties out there. this is different than most. gives you the hand held and head from the top. they're easy to install. >> have shower heads changed over time and easier to install yourself? >> they all install the same this project here, just a couple simple tools. you'll need a crescent wrench, channel locks and can he have long tape. showers are the same the way they hook up. you take the handle off. unscrew this set this off out of your way. this is if you just had a regular shower head. this is where your shower head would be. you have the handle for it. unscrew right here. so this is your keflon tape. put it on clockwise. hold your finger on it. loop it around clockwise. just need to go around once, break loose. then you take your new shower head and just thread it on. be careful not to get it too tight. it's better to have it little loose and tighten back up than have too tight

ga-- uh, g-george patton. and they said, "who's george patton?" >> isn't that scary? >> and you go onto the next thing and says, "well, ya know, eddie fisher is now, uh, singing." "who-who's eddie fisher?" >> that's right. >> and you say-- "mickey mouse? does that ring a bell?" [ laughter ] and they go, "oh. mickey mou what it is. the young people-- and i don't care if you all get mad at me. the way you all voted, i'm not too thrilled, with the way you went. [ laughter ] but-- [ applause ] they're not thinking. they-they are a-- only know what's going on now. they have not bothered to worry about what happened before and the effects it's having now. i think you're right. >> they're now people, which means nothing is-- you know, they know who bruce is. what about tommy dorsey? >> amen. >> right? >> okay. all right, we shall return, in just a moment. [ music ] [ cheering and applause ] we just have a few seconds. you were wonderful. will you come back and do this, again, soon? >> anytime. >> i'll have some world war ii people, afterwards? >> good. [ laughter ] >> thank

. >> hi, i'm patton oswalt, and you're probably feeling some uncontrollable rage. bitter results with "choke it down." choke it down's patented fiber bundled technology absorbs your screams of anguish and locks them away, so you can live a normal life. at work -- at home -- and perfect for thanksgiving -- sorry. i'm sorry. (bleep) the (bleep) rationality

douglas macarthur, george patton spinning in their graves when they see the stupidity of our country.ump's remarks didn't sit well with some actual military experts, including retired colonel jeffrey mccausland, former dean of the army war college, told "new york times," "what this shows is trump doesn't know a damn thing about military strategy." the colonel's opinion didn't seem to faze trump, who doubled down when he was asked about it in an abc news interview. >> the resistance is much greater now, because they knew about the attack. why can't they win first and talk later? why do they have to say three months before the attack, we're going in? so you can tell your military expert that i'll sit down and i'll teach him a couple of things. >> well, colonel mccausland joins us tonight. first of all, when you heard donald trump say that he could teach you a couple of things, i mean, after your decades of experience, what did you think? >> well, i thought i'd be delighted to have the opportunity to sit down with donald trump and have him teach me something about military strategy. and

patton in 1945. >> he said he was so proud of us, he kept on civility. >> one of the few priz nors of his knack to play the trumpet and bugel helped him get through. at the young age of 100, sharchk has his phrase to >> i'm lovable just as i am. >> over history he had other accomplishments. at the age of 80 he ran two marathons. if you want to come down here for veterans day parade, that starts at 11:00 a.m. christy wilcox news3. >> thank you christy for sharing that. a hiker falls off a 75 foot cliff and lives to tell about to get to him. his cell phone died before he could get through. he suffered a broken leg but won't be free to go to the hospital. there are two warrants out for his arrest. >>> passengers on a commercial flight to mexico city got quite a scare. when this snake slit they ared slithered compartment. the crew eventually caught it. they deserve a raise. aeromexico, is trying to figure out how this snake got in the plane. >> like never mind, i'm okay. is. >> if you were going to order up the perfect weather to celebrate a birthday or something, this would probably be i

patton's helmet. and so on the week that began september 12th, they went to philadelphia to carpenters hall, they went to cincinnati to a general electric plant, they went to chicago to the world affairs council all to give major speeches on national defense and the relationship with the soviet union. and to cap it all off, they went to sterling heights, michigan, battleground this very weekend, to try and win michigan's 22 electoral votes and also make dukakis look like a general at the same time. boston, the headquarters said to matt bennett, the young advance man, we're gonna put dukakis in a tank. and bennett went out to the tank, to general dynamics, to the proving ground, and he calls back to boston, and he says, guys, this is a disaster. this whole idea stinks. he's going to look like an idiot. boston said, doesn't matter. we need this visual. you've got to make it happen. and so what happened was this person went to swather more college, spent two years in korea after the armistice, but spent

patton oswalt. roots crew. >> questlove: 563, iowa! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] that is a crowd! that is a great crowd right there. welcome! looking good. looking good, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. you're here, you made it! you made it. you're here. we've got a fun show for you.

. >> hi, i'm patton oswalt, and you're probably feeling some uncontrollable rage. well, now you can swallow the bitter results with "choke it down." "choke it down's" patented fiber bundled technology absorbs your screams of anguish and locks them away, so you can live a normal life. at work-- at home-- and perfect for thanksgiving-- sorry. i'm sorry. ( bleep ) the ( bleep ) beacon for rationality and intelligence